*TEAM 2012 BABY*Beans in our bellies by the end of 2012 ! **88 BFP's**

[josephine3]

Hi ladies well another update from me and it just gets worse. I have put my boyfriend off so much with using bnb and talking about babies that he has now decided he doesnt even want children at all. I cant believe it and really dont know what to do... we have been having all these problems since the suspected chemical 2 weeks ago. I think its made him think what he really wants and apparently children isnt it. What on earth do i do? I love him and want to stay with him but i need to have a baby at some point!!!

I cant go without a family all my life. But i dont want to give up the man i love.

I just have to hope he may change his mind in the future but what if he doesnt and by then it will be too late?? or do i leave him and have to start all over again finding the right person?? which could take ages Im 25 now. Im so scared this just isnt meant to happen for me.

Maybe you guys need a romantic break away...stop baby talk for a while just reconnect?

im so sorry its come to this...so he did want kids and now doesnt? how long you been together for?

been together 4 years.. he has never really 'wanted' them but just always thought it would happen one day as its what people do. We were ntnp anyway as he wasnt comfortable with full on ttc. now he says he actively DOESNT want them. he gets quite depressed and doesnt want to bring another life into the world at all now

 

[kitcatbaby]

Hi ladies well another update from me and it just gets worse. I have put my boyfriend off so much with using bnb and talking about babies that he has now decided he doesnt even want children at all. I cant believe it and really dont know what to do... we have been having all these problems since the suspected chemical 2 weeks ago. I think its made him think what he really wants and apparently children isnt it. What on earth do i do? I love him and want to stay with him but i need to have a baby at some point!!!

I cant go without a family all my life. But i dont want to give up the man i love.

I just have to hope he may change his mind in the future but what if he doesnt and by then it will be too late?? or do i leave him and have to start all over again finding the right person?? which could take ages Im 25 now. Im so scared this just isnt meant to happen for me.

Maybe you guys need a romantic break away...stop baby talk for a while just reconnect?

im so sorry its come to this...so he did want kids and now doesnt? how long you been together for?

been together 4 years.. he has never really 'wanted' them but just always thought it would happen one day as its what people do. We were ntnp anyway as he wasnt comfortable with full on ttc. now he says he actively DOESNT want them. he gets quite depressed and doesnt want to bring another life into the world at all now

oh darling this is just crap! If this was me I think I would just level with him have a good chat with him about where you see your future including children and including him. If its not something he can get on board with then is he really the man for you? I know you love him and don't want to throw away the years you have had together but if you are anything like me then I know you won't be able to live a happy life without the option of kids in the future. It's so so difficult! I hope you can fix this lovely lady please try to keep us posted xx

 

[Cat_f_08]

Could I join you please, we are really hoping for a 2012 baby x

 

[josephine3]

Thanks kitcat - i dont know what to do I just know i cant end up 10 yrs down the line, realise he wont change his mind then be single at 35 with no babies

we both want to stay together but maybe long-term its not the best idea.

but what if he meets someone else and has her babies???!!!! how awful would that be

 

[Wilsey]

josephine3 - I'm so sorry to hear that you two are still having problems and now he doesn't want kids. Life is so confusing sometimes.

A good friend of mine had been trying to get pregnant with her husband for a long time. Their marriage eventually broke down over it. Now they both have new partners and she has a newborn and his partner is newly pregnant. She looks back now and realises they just weren't meant to conceive together. It was heartbreaking at the time but she's in the right place now.

I hope that you and your man can figure out what is best for both of you and live the best lives you possibly can.

xx

 

[miss_nat84]

Josephine I'm so sorry to hear what's going on
I've been trying to think of how he is seeing things through his eyes too, are you sure that he is sincere when he is saying he really doesn't want kids at all, or is it that he got so excited at the thought that you were possibly pregnant 2 weeks ago (even if he didn't show it so much on the outside) that he can't stand the thought of going through another chemical? Is it that he was just so heartbroken that he can't stand the thought of having to deal with that right now so his way of getting through it is to push you away and push the thought of ttc away so he doesn't have to feel it? I know some guys prefer to run away from the problem rather to confront it as that's the only way they can cope.
Never having met him I wouldny really know but it's just a thought have you considered taking him to see a councillor if he is feeling depressed? Or even couples councilling might help if you want to make it work. I always refused to see a councillor when I had some issues a couple of years back but I bit the bullet and decided to go and it made a world of difference, she made me see things in a completely different light so maybe it would be really good for him
Until then hunni try to focus on you and what you need and want in life I'm sure you will make the right decision if you can follow your heart hun we are all here for you xx

 

[Antsynewlywed]

Welcome cat!

 

[josephine3]

Thanks ladies - wilsey i would like him to see a counsellor but i really dont think he would go for it. he does much prefer to run away rather than confront the issue. I dont think that its that the chemical upset him but maybe its made him think about what he really wants and maybe that isnt kids... im not sure this is such a hard decision to make without knowing the future! i have made a seperate post about this so as not to clog up team 2012 lol.

we had a bit of a conversation on the phone which started with him saying that we should sort our finances out, buy a house, get bettet jobs and then we can think about 'other things'... but then he also said he has to be honest in that he may never want them at all.

argrghhhh i hope you are all having a much better time - congrats again wilsey lovely lines

 

[Cherrylicious]

Hi ladies i'm hoping for a 2012 baby!!!! TTC is harder than i thought!!!

 

[ambition1624]

Hi all, just wondered if there is anyone out there in the same place as me!! I am married and have been TTC for 8 months. I have been given lots of different advice and to be frank, Im not sure who to believe. I started with ovulation tests and then was advised by the doctor to avoid them! So I stopped. My husband and I are both professionals and woek very long hours so sometimes baby making is a little tricky. However, I have a very regualt 28 day cycle and I am always in touch with fertile days (ie day 14ish). Just wondered what people think I should do. Back to the ovulation tests. I am very keen to get pregnant as I am 30 years old and would like to get a wriggle on! I dont have any friends TTC. All my pals got preg straight away! Help girls - I am being patient but need some advice! Best wishes to all my new TTC buddies.

 

[VikkiD]

Hi, Can I join please, I am Vikki 27 been with my OH for 9 years married for nearly 5 and I finished microgynon 30 yesterday, hoping it wont take to long to come out of my system.

 

[Mazzy17]

Hi!! I have been on these forums for a bit and thought its about time i joined Team 2012 Baby (if thats ok with your girls)

 

[BabyBob]

Hi everyone! I lost my little boy 23/08/2010. Now TTC#2. Its not going aswell as i had hoped! Im now 18days since my period was due. No sign of it coming yet, been to docs today and tbh im no further forward. Going for blood test tonight!

Why is it so hard to get pregnant??! All me and OH want is a little family!

 

[jmandrews]

Aw I am so sorry you lost your little boy. I can't even imagine. Have u ever been this late before? That's good u are having test done. Hope they figure out whatis going on. Illbe thinking about you!

 

[mrskrunchy]

Hi Ladies! Just got my BFP this am! Hubby is thrilled!

 

[wantabby]

Congradulations mrskrunchy!!! That is so exciting!! H&H 9 months!!

 

[Peters Pooky]

Congrats!

 

[gemgem77]

Congrats Mrskrunchy

 

[jmandrews]

Whoo hoo!!! Congrats!!!!

 

[MrsMM24]

So sorry AF flew in JEHOVAHS! Let's get Sept started right!!!

Welcome I.E.D, CAT_F, CHERRYLICIOUS, AMBITION (yes, start OPKs again and temp!), VIKKI, MAZZY, BABYBOB (so sorry for your loss ) :wave:

ANTSY, glad that your optimism is back, bring on that bfp! FXD

MISS NAT, how was testing??? I am testing on 8/23.

JOSEPHINE, I am so sorry that you are having to deal with the decisions you have in front of you. It is so unfortunate. I do want to tell you, that 25 is young, you still have time. However, I agree with KITCAT and WILSEY in that you all need to really sit and TALK, communication is VERY important. Sometimes, loving someone doesn't fully complete you. It is possible that he got overwhelmed by all of this and will one day come around. But I don't want to overstep here and say, that the most important thing during this time, was ressurecting your health, and by putting you through this, he has not "remembered" that.... You have to be firm in YOUR wants. Know that you can love someone, and not be able to be "forever" with that person. Besides, you want kids, he doesn't there is already something you two "disagree" upon. Take some time out for YOU and make the best decision for YOU... GL Hun!

CONGRATS MRSKRUNCHY

I am 15DPO (13DPO by FF) Well, it looks confusing… I mean, on Sunday (DPO14), after inputting my temp, FF changed my OV date. Does this happen often? I mean I am on CD34! Longest cycle ever! I know now, that this is a result of the M/C in July. I am feeling like I am totally out of it this month after seeing that. Current SSing: very tired, BLOATED, bbs tingling every now and then, not hungry often, I have felt sick the last few days when I first wake, but it leaves. I guess I am just waiting now to see if AF ever shows…. Other than that, the weekend was lovely. I hope everyone else is doing better!!!