Team Rainbow Mummies - Gay Surrogates, Lesbian, Transgender and BiSexual TTC Group

[Jetters]

Haha MommyTammy, I love your bucket-o-baby dust!!!

It is my first baby yep, unconventional circumstances but i'm so happy all the same, and keep thinking that i'm saving myself a fortune this way (otherwise in the future i'd have been going through a clinic!!!).

 

[day_dreamer]

So it's 2010 -- Happy New Year to everyone

I brought up the subject of children yesterday (what with it being a new year and everything, lol) and asked whether I was allowed to start talking about it properly yet, but unfortunately I'm not

The last time we spoke about it she agreed that we'd start trying 'in the second half of the year', but to me that means we have to start planning now. We're planning on using a free donor (I think!) so I would really like to start searching for potential donors so that we can email them and get to know them in plenty of time. I've already bought folic acid tablets which I'm taking at work every day, which she doesn't know about.

I guess I'm worried that it'll come to October time and only then will she want to start talking about it properly, which means it'll be well into 2011 before we actually start TTC, and I've set my heart on this year. (I would have done it in 2009 if she's agreed!!)

*sigh*

We've not mentioned that we're planning to have children to any of our family. We've both told our closest friends, who are excited and think we'll be great parents, but our family situations are a bit awkward so I have no idea how the news will be received.

 

[Nimyra]

Sorry, allstars, that sounds really frustrating.

For what it is worth, I found my donor quite quickly. I thought it would take months, and I found a great one in a matter of weeks and had everything arranged to inseminate within 3 weeks. Sometimes it takes longer to find the right person, but it doesn't have to.

 

[sam#3]

oooo im signing in to the 'team' not ttc yet but we are talking about it x

 

[LunaBean]

Id suggest bringing it up with her again, because it can take a long time to find a suitable donor, it took us 2 years to find out first one, tho when he changed his mind after a few month, we found a new one in a matter of weeks! But you want to be prepared and have everything in place before you start, having him screened for STIs, meeting up with him a few times first before you even start. It may take your OH awhile to come round, mine wasnt keen on the idea at afirst, but it turned out it was because she thought Id have a baby and start ignoring her then once it was born! This sounds abit stupid, but you should each write down 5 hopes and 5 fears about TTC and having a baby, and talk about it, it worked for us! There's also a few books on lesbian parenting and one has exercises in it that you can both do together, to see how differently you see the situation etc. PM me if you (or anyone) wants the names of them! They're in the nursery, so I hafta hunt them out! Good luck, and I hope she comes round soon!!

 

[Edensmum]

Subscription is in the post

Hi I'm the bi, single Mum. Currently searching for a co-parent to TTC using Artificial at home insemination. A few of you may remember I was 'working' with a guy for 2 cycles last Sep/Oct but due to traveling and comitment issues the relationship was ended (by myself) So now I'm back on the sites e-mailing any potentials.

They say patience is a virtue, but alas my halo slipped along time ago

Kirsty & Eden -x-

 

[LunaBean]

Well one of my donors shud be here at 8pm tonight, and the other will be up tomro at 1pm!! OPKs have started getting pink today, so we're well on track, and I shud ovulate on friday, hopefully!!!

 

[sam#3]

How did you all find a donor if you dont mind me asking???

 

[RainbowMum]

I brought up the subject of children yesterday (what with it being a new year and everything, lol) and asked whether I was allowed to start talking about it properly yet, but unfortunately I'm not

The last time we spoke about it she agreed that we'd start trying 'in the second half of the year', but to me that means we have to start planning now.
[..]
I guess I'm worried that it'll come to October time and only then will she want to start talking about it properly, which means it'll be well into 2011 before we actually start TTC, and I've set my heart on this year. (I would have done it in 2009 if she's agreed!!)

I'm worried about this too. Whenever I mention that I want to start trying at the end of the year my GF keeps saying we won't be financially ready. I think she forgets that it will be a while after the first doctors appointment until we do the first insemination and even if it (by miracle) worked the first time, it would still be until the end of 2011 until a LO was there ;-) so almost 2 years to save up money.

 

[LunaBean]

I find ours on the internet..one on co-parentmatch.co.uk (think its right) and the rest just ona local website where u can pos ads! Then I make then get sti tests and get me a copy of the results etc too.

Had an insemination last night and again at 1pm today, so fingers crossed!!!!

 

[sam#3]

i just had a look on that co-parent match - it fascinates me as i never knew sites like that existed?
is it expensive to do it that way? do the donors charge?
xxx

 

[LunaBean]

Some of them charge, if they do, dont use them! Donation usually means free!!

 

[day_dreamer]

Urgh.

Things aren't going so great here at the moment -- OH has just been told she may be being made redundant. Won't find out for definite until the end of the week, so that definitely scuppers our plans

Still, I've ordered a couple of books from Amazon, including one about being the none-biological mummy, so hopefully that'll help. After all this is over with I'm going to suggest we have a chat about the +ves and -ves of having a baby, for both of us...think out -ve might surprise each other!

 

[LunaBean]

aww, I'm sorry things are goin crap for you, hope all goes well! What's the name of the book for non-bio mummies? Must get OH one!!!She's currently reading The ultimate guide to pregnancy for lesbians, Ive already read it!

 

[LunaBean]

found it!

 

[Edensmum]

Sam, to find my co-parent/donor I'm using
https://www.co-parents.net/indexeng.php?lang=english
and also https://www.co-parentmatch.com

I've paid on both of these (they are about £25 each so not very expensive) that gives you access to the profiles and you can send/receive as many messages as you want to.

There are a few other sits out there who more specifically deal more with donors than co-parents. You can find a few through google.

The only donors that I've seen that expect payment as those wanting travel costs. They are technically not allowed to charge for their swimmers, I think the ones that do this are the more excessive donors who claim success storys of lots and lots of babys. They may even be telling the truth, but there is an obvious reason why official sperm banks cap the number of successful pregnancys to 8. The thought of too many unknown half siblings out there is just not something I'm comfortable with.

 

[LunaBean]

Hey girls, I made us a forum! Feel free to use it (or not lol), cus I think there's a few topics we wouldn't feel comfortable about talking on here! It's only new, so PM me with any suggestions for sections etc, theres loads Ive forgot!!!

Rainbow Mummies

 

[sam#3]

we have been speaking to someone on co-parents site and he sounded like the perfect donor and is only up the road but then he said he would not meet couples wishing to use AI face-to-face............ to us that seems a bit weird as surely then he could be anyone and look completely different to what he said??
We are both new to looking into this and it seems rather odd that he will donate either NI/AI but will not meet if AI, he said you give him your address and phone number and he will ring when delivering a fresh donation at the door.
Any thoughts anyone???

 

[Nimyra]

I don't think I'd be comfortable using a donor who wouldn't agree to meet face to face. I guess it depends if you think you can trust him. I checked my donor's identification to match to the name on his STD test results. I don't know how you can do that without meeting face to face. Maybe I'm less trusting than others.

 

[LunaBean]

I wudn't trust it either, and I def wudn't be giving out ur address and number to a stranger!!!! It does sound odd, maybe he's just covering his back? I say get his number and arrange a time when you can call him, he should be ok with that, if not then Id stay well clear!
I do know that one donor we used, we only had contact when he was bringing the 'stuff' cus he lived near us, maybe he doesn't wat you to be able to identify him in the street?