Team yellow or not? HELP

[lovelylisa84]

My husband and I have an 11 year old daughter and a 6 year old son, blessed to have a pair and I completely understand, however, I have NO desire for another daughter...my daughter is tough especially since she is going on 12 and for other reasons I just dont want another one, I think I would be really depressed to find out my child is a little girl, I know that sounds horrible and Im sure I would love her regardless but this is what I feel right now. My husband has no preference and I have made the decision to be team because I feel as though I dont want to be dissapointed for the rest of my pregnancy, I was to enjoy it and feel a connection to the baby but now I am starting to think if that is a bad idea...waiting to find out at the birth...what if it is a girl, will that make me have post partum depression? I was thinking that if I just waited...I would be FORCED to appreciate and divulge in her likeness but now im wondering if finding out at the 20week scan will better prepare me emmotionally and give me time to "get over it". What do you girls think? wait or find out?

 

[katrus78]

Honestly, I think it's better to find out as early as possible to give yourself time to adjust. I know I would be absolutely crashed to find out I am having boys at birth, I'm positive I would have a very very difficult time bonding and taking care of the boy babies if I don prepare myself. It's up o you, of course.

 

[BlueHadeda]

I honestly think it depends on the individual. Some would need the time to adjust, others would just get depressed during their pregnancy and disconnect from the birth experience. While being on team yellow could help you enjoy baby no matter what gender when its born, while others would be derpessed after the birth if it's not the gender they wanted. So it really depends on you. For me, from personal experience (I have 3 children already) I know that no matter what, when they put baby in my arms, I don't care one way or the other. What the gender is, what baby looks like, etc. At that moment, I fall in love no matter what. I'm not prone to PND, so it doesn't scare me, to be honest.

So that's why we decided to stay team again this last and 4th time. We have an 11-year old boy, an 8-year old girl and a 4-year old boy, and I'm desperate for a little girl. Even though, like you, my daughter has been so very, very difficult, while my boys have been so easy to raise.

We were team yellow with my first, and we absolutely loved having the surprise. With my 2nd and 3rd, we found out at around 14 weeks, and the surprise just wasn't the same. I think I would've caved and found out in this 4pregnancy just because I so desperately wants a little girl, but we took a family vote and everyone else (dad and kids) all voted that they want to wait until the birth to find out the gender. So I'm respecting everyone's wishes.

 

[bigmomma74]

I am going to stay team yellow next time as we thought last time that finding out as early as possible would give us time to be prepared but all that happened was I sank into a horrible depression and it ruined most of my pregnancy when we found out it was girl no 4. Now she is here we adore her and can't imagine her being a boy. So if no 5 turns out to be a girl at least we won't have had time to look at all the negatives and we will (hopefully) just appreciate her for being her.....hope that makes sense x

 

[Rachiebaby24]

I chose to find out the sex purely because i did not want to be disappointed when gave birth. If i knew beforehand i would accept it over time....regardless of the sex i wanted the birth to be a happy time

 

[lovelylisa84]

Thanks ladies for all your advice and for not judging. I've made the decision to wait it out because I know whether pink or blue, a healthy little baby in my arms is going to be amazing.

 

[Tink84]

As much as I know my OH and I are desperate for a little girl I know that staying team yellow will be a blessing in disguise and I am hoping that once our baby is placed in our arms we won't care about his/her gender

I vote team yellow!

But just because your daughter is difficult doesn't mean another daughter would be I am one of 4, 3 girls and 1 boy and the girls especially couldn't be any more different. Though for my mum she probs felt she was dealing with us all together and were all very close in age! 27, 26, 25(sept) and 23 (june) However, I was a trouble free teen where my other two sister's weren't

 

[lori]

That's a tough one. I decided to find out, and it absolutely ruined my pregnancy. I chose to find out because I didn't want to feel those raw emotions when I was first handed my baby. I also felt that it might be more painful to hear "boy" if I'd allowed myself to feel hopeful for 9 months. I thought that I would have time to get over the disappointment, but honestly, I cried about it pretty much every day right up until delivery. On the plus side, when my son was born, I was done with grieving and ready to meet my baby. In that moment, I didn't have to think about gender because I'd already known for months. I was able to just take it all in: his sweet face, his tiny hands... things that might have been overshadowed by the disappointment of hearing "it's a boy" for the first time. I cried when I first found out it was another boy, and I'm grateful that I was allowed to have that moment in private instead of trying to hide those feelings in the delivery room.

There's pros and cons to both. I think I would choose to find out again, but I can absolutely understand why someone might choose to wait. Good luck sweetie Boy or girl, it's going to be okay.