Teen moms, do you support teen pregnancy?

[dreabae]

I didnt plan this at all but nor do I regret it. I have raised 4 kids and was going to adopt my little cousin when I was out of school. Which I still plan to do but it will just be another year or so cause im taking more schooling then I thought I was going to take. i personally think young girls shouldn't plan pregnancy. Expecially in high school. If your in high school 9 times out of 10 your relationship isn't going to last past the cap and gown and having a baby just makes that break up alot more harder. Also, Alot of girls plan pregnancy to keep their boyfriends around which is totally wrong. i know alot of young girls (including my sister) that got pregnant so she could try and fix their relationships. Im sorry I dont mean to be offensive towards anyone but people say that marriage is a life decision and I dont think girls understand that having a baby is 2 life decisions.

 

[tasha41]

Not to mention I would love my daughter to have a sibling, and I want another child, and I feel like the 'natural' time to do it is coming soon, but it's not really possible. Financially we'd be okay, but that pushes my career back even further.. would mean significant financial changes, because on maternity leave I'd only be getting 55% of my current wages.. and marriage probably wouldn't happen at all, hard to justify that expense when you have a 2 bedroom-1 bath home with a mortgage, 2 kids, no car, etc.

YES you can be in this financial position (which isn't even that bad) at an older age, but IMO it'd be easier to get a new job after finishing college and getting some experience under your belt than it would be to try to finish college part time while working at a job that really is doing nothing for your career aspirations, and really sticking around because you have to.. due to being able to get the hours you are available to work, the flexibility (booking time off for appts etc), and knowing you will be able to rely on it to never go out of business.. urg.

 

[angeleyez92]

I do wonder what 27 year old man wouls want with a teenager... Do not take offense but that strikes me as strange!

I hear it a lot so it is okay.We met at work so we knew each other for awhile. He thought that I was older and I thought he was younger. He does not look his age tbh..lol He is not one of those perverted guys or anything. He is really sweet and he is one of the most hardworking wonderful guys I have ever met. I do not think anyone would look at it as strange if I was 25 and he was 34. That would be a normal thing for everyone...

 

[hot tea]

I agree entirely. My oh makes a lot of money as a creative graphic designer in advertising, so thankfully my need to work and make big dollars is pretty... Minimal. At the moment I work full time, and I like it that way. But maaaaan, second child is a toughy. I have only now become "excited". I am an amazing mother, I know it, but damned if I do not have needs too! I am very independent and have trouble asking for help.

 

[hot tea]

I do wonder what 27 year old man wouls want with a teenager... Do not take offense but that strikes me as strange!

I hear it a lot so it is okay.We met at work so we knew each other for awhile. He thought that I was older and I thought he was younger. He does not look his age tbh..lol He is not one of those perverted guys or anything. He is really sweet and he is one of the most hardworking wonderful guys I have ever met. I do not think anyone would look at it as strange if I was 25 and he was 34. That would be a normal thing for everyone...

Yes, because a 25 year old has more life experience and a fully developed brain. i understand that not all situations are cookie cutter though.

 

[NewMommy17]

I most certainly agree i don't support teen planned pregnancy either . Though I'm 17 I didn't plan my Pregnancy .

My best friend shes now 18 got pregnant when she was 17 . she did everything to be ms perfect for her child but i think it was kind of ignorant she graduated early because she planned to rush her life to be a mom . shes engaged im happy for her but the guy she deserves better he finally changed a little bit since my 4 month godson his and her son was born. But sad thing is its to late for his change hes going back to prison soon to do a 3 -4 year bid !

Now the thing i don't like about my best friend shes telling me im making a bad choice by bringing Lo into this world . I dont understand why she think she can judge me because she went through a lot to be happy and i never put her down during her pregnancy and told her she shouldn't bring him into the world instead i was supportive and knew she would be a great mom .

Point is planned teen pregnancy's are not the right thing . I rather plan on college and marrying someone i can be happy with for the rest of my life for me and my child And Have a stable financial job which means getting a college degree !

 

[tasha41]

Furthermore my OH is definitely sacrificing. He is working at a plumbing/sewer company. I think his job title is 'sewer technician' or something. He makes very good money, a lot more than a plumbing apprentice would be. He would like to be a plumber, but an apprenticeship would mean taking a pay cut, then being off work and on EI while he's doing the in-class portion of his apprenticeship. He'd make more money in the long run, but speaking short-term.. it would be hard for us definitely since he is the breadwinner.

So I do feel a bit of pressure, not because he puts any on me, but because he's been so supportive of my education.. he goes to work everyday, sometimes 12 days in a row, without complaining at all.. to "repay him" for it by getting a FT job so that he can pursue his career dreams.

 

[MissyBee]

I don't support planned teen pregnancy. I'm 20 years old, and this pregnancy was definitely not expected. I'll be fine financially, no problems there. But I don't know how emotionally stable I am right now. I'm still so young. I think it's foolish for a teenage girl to plan a pregnancy. The majority of these girls still live with their parents, and it's awful to basically force your family to take care of your baby for you with no consideration on your part. If it's unplanned, that's a whole different story, but to just decide to do that? And then what about that child? I just think it's better to wait if you are going to try to have a baby. Accidents happen and I have a ton of respect for the young women who make the best of their situation and push through it for their child, but to plan bringing a baby into a less than ideal situation is wrong in my opinion.

 

[angeleyez92]

I do wonder what 27 year old man wouls want with a teenager... Do not take offense but that strikes me as strange!

I hear it a lot so it is okay.We met at work so we knew each other for awhile. He thought that I was older and I thought he was younger. He does not look his age tbh..lol He is not one of those perverted guys or anything. He is really sweet and he is one of the most hardworking wonderful guys I have ever met. I do not think anyone would look at it as strange if I was 25 and he was 34. That would be a normal thing for everyone...

Yes, because a 25 year old has more life experience and a fully developed brain. i understand that not all situations are cookie cutter though.

I canot understand it but I do not act the same as an 18 year old. I turn 19 years old this year. I am almost finished with my associates degree in psychology with a 4.0 I had to grow up much quicker than I should have. I have had many things happen in my life that had forced me to grow up. So I am sure I have enough life experience I do not think I could handle anymore. I believe that since I am 18 almost 19 that I am considered an adult. I understand if I was 13 or 14 and he was that old but I am of legal age.

 

[Angel.Mummy]

i don't want to sound like really horrible but i don't think its irresponsible for a teen to plan their kid

1. i have a room for the baby
2. my mum was alright with me planning this baby cause of previous loss
3. my oh wanted this baby aswell
4. i have a job, maybe not getting as much money as some but its still something
5. oh has a job, again maybe not getting as much money as some
6. we both have savings. my mum's been putting away for me. so has my dad
and oh's parents have been doing the same. i also have saved alotta money myself.

but anyway i don't want to sound rude or anything xxx

 

[dreabae]

I do wonder what 27 year old man wouls want with a teenager... Do not take offense but that strikes me as strange!

I hear it a lot so it is okay.We met at work so we knew each other for awhile. He thought that I was older and I thought he was younger. He does not look his age tbh..lol He is not one of those perverted guys or anything. He is really sweet and he is one of the most hardworking wonderful guys I have ever met. I do not think anyone would look at it as strange if I was 25 and he was 34. That would be a normal thing for everyone...

Yes, because a 25 year old has more life experience and a fully developed brain. i understand that not all situations are cookie cutter though.

I canot understand it but I do not act the same as an 18 year old. I turn 19 years old this year. I am almost finished with my associates degree in psychology with a 4.0 I had to grow up much quicker than I should have. I have had many things happen in my life that had forced me to grow up. So I am sure I have enough life experience I do not think I could handle anymore. I believe that since I am 18 almost 19 that I am considered an adult. I understand if I was 13 or 14 and he was that old but I am of legal age.

Seriously? Who are you? What she does with a 27 year old man is her damn business. Who are you to pass judgement on her or any of us. Whiether you agree with it or not everyone on this TEEN PREGNANCY FORUM is pregnant. Why are you even on this part of the site starting commotion? Im sure most of us will make better mothers than half the 25-35 year olds having children.

 

[dreabae]

Also, She is 18 going on 19. She is perfectly capable of making her own decisions Im almost completely sure this.

 

[merakola]

For myself, I would have NEVER planned a pregnancy when I was a teen ( im 21 now) but, at the same time I cant tell someone else if they are ready for a child or not. To me that wouldnt be my place. I know women that are past their teens ( in their 30s) that plan to have kids for the same silly reason some silly teens have kids for so I dont think knowledge comes with age at alllll. Like my stepmom for instance she was about 35 planning to have a baby but for all the wrong reasons ( she hates me and my little brother and pretty much wanted us out the pic ) now i dont think its the best idea for a 15-18 year old to plan a pregnancy because everything they have to deal with but they have teens that have their sh*t together better than their own parents. So it really depends on the situation to me. But I hate to tell someone what they should and should not do. So I see both sides of the story

 

[amygwen]

i don't want to sound like really horrible but i don't think its irresponsible for a teen to plan their kid

1. i have a room for the baby
2. my mum was alright with me planning this baby cause of previous loss
3. my oh wanted this baby aswell
4. i have a job, maybe not getting as much money as some but its still something
5. oh has a job, again maybe not getting as much money as some
6. we both have savings. my mum's been putting away for me. so has my dad
and oh's parents have been doing the same. i also have saved alotta money myself.

but anyway i don't want to sound rude or anything xxx

You don't sound rude. But most teenagers aren't in as good of a situation as you are. Your parents support you which is GREAT because that will help you out LOADS financially and emotionally. I'm in the same situation, I have room for the baby, both OH and I have jobs and both sets of parents are extremely supportive. Thankfully I still live w/ my parents while I go to school and work, therefore I'm not forking out as much money as I could be if I had to live alone with him. I hate to think that without my parents and with my OH, I financially would NEVER be able to live on my own making the money I make right now. I also hate to think that without my OH and with my parents I would never be able to go to college and better my life. Could you? Thankfully we're both lucky that we have such supportive families and a supportive OH, but not everyone has that which is why it's irresponsible for teenagers to have pregnancies.

 

[hot tea]

I did not mean to offend. As I stated. But... Sorry if I did!

 

[angeleyez92]

Also, She is 18 going on 19. She is perfectly capable of making her own decisions Im almost completely sure this.

Yes I believe I am. I get it a lot about our age difference but it is okay with me. I am an adult and I am able to be with him. He is one of the best guys I have ever met.

 

[amygwen]

I do wonder what 27 year old man wouls want with a teenager... Do not take offense but that strikes me as strange!

I hear it a lot so it is okay.We met at work so we knew each other for awhile. He thought that I was older and I thought he was younger. He does not look his age tbh..lol He is not one of those perverted guys or anything. He is really sweet and he is one of the most hardworking wonderful guys I have ever met. I do not think anyone would look at it as strange if I was 25 and he was 34. That would be a normal thing for everyone...

Yes, because a 25 year old has more life experience and a fully developed brain. i understand that not all situations are cookie cutter though.

I canot understand it but I do not act the same as an 18 year old. I turn 19 years old this year. I am almost finished with my associates degree in psychology with a 4.0 I had to grow up much quicker than I should have. I have had many things happen in my life that had forced me to grow up. So I am sure I have enough life experience I do not think I could handle anymore. I believe that since I am 18 almost 19 that I am considered an adult. I understand if I was 13 or 14 and he was that old but I am of legal age.

Seriously? Who are you? What she does with a 27 year old man is her damn business. Who are you to pass judgement on her or any of us. Whiether you agree with it or not everyone on this TEEN PREGNANCY FORUM is pregnant. Why are you even on this part of the site starting commotion? Im sure most of us will make better mothers than half the 25-35 year olds having children.

I don't think hot tea was trying to be rude, she was just stating an opinion which is always expressed through forums whether you're in the teen pregnancy section or not.

 

[Angel.Mummy]

i don't want to sound like really horrible but i don't think its irresponsible for a teen to plan their kid

1. i have a room for the baby
2. my mum was alright with me planning this baby cause of previous loss
3. my oh wanted this baby aswell
4. i have a job, maybe not getting as much money as some but its still something
5. oh has a job, again maybe not getting as much money as some
6. we both have savings. my mum's been putting away for me. so has my dad
and oh's parents have been doing the same. i also have saved alotta money myself.

but anyway i don't want to sound rude or anything xxx

You don't sound rude. But most teenagers aren't in as good of a situation as you are. Your parents support you which is GREAT because that will help you out LOADS financially and emotionally. I'm in the same situation, I have room for the baby, both OH and I have jobs and both sets of parents are extremely supportive. Thankfully I still live w/ my parents while I go to school and work, therefore I'm not forking out as much money as I could be if I had to live alone with him. I hate to think that without my parents and with my OH, I financially would NEVER be able to live on my own making the money I make right now. I also hate to think that without my OH and with my parents I would never be able to go to college and better my life. Could you? Thankfully we're both lucky that we have such supportive families and a supportive OH, but not everyone has that which is why it's irresponsible for teenagers to have pregnancies.

i get what you mean now , i thought yous just ment it was irresponsible just because they were teens, my bad. no i honestly couldn't imagine doing this without the support of my family they have been amazing through my loss and everything. xxx

 

[tasha41]

I'm sure there are some people who try to conceive while living @ home with their parents and being teenagers, but I am also sure that those cases are the minority. I can't think of many situations where I would support Elyse actively trying to get pregnant while living with me and working part time. I guess we will see when the time comes, and I'm glad that some teenagers in that spot have support. I guess I would rather she was honest with me than deceiving me and going behind my back.. I'd be more prepared.. and I know you can't stop people.. but I would probably try to strike some sort of deal with her, like I'll save, you get a FT job or finish school etc..

But I think those who do not tell their parents what their intentions are, are being immature and selfish .. I mean, if you and your BF *did* break up, no matter how unlikely you feel that would be, a lot of responsibility would fall on your parents, especially if you live somewhere where you need to be a certain age to receive gov't support or if you're not entitled to any because you are your parent's dependent still. For example, I am sure that at 17 here you are considered your parent's dependent (until 18?) and you could move out and go on welfare but for a single adult it's like $600 per month here, which is pittance to live off of. Most parents would let you stay at home because they love you, don't want you or your child to endure hardship, but it's a lot for them to take on. Even if you can pay for diapers, clothes, formula, etc... they have to accommodate you living in their home; your stuff & the baby's being around, a crying baby at night, etc... though most are glad to do it I think, it is still not 'right' IMO.

This coming from someone who DID live at home until their child was 15mos, I could have left sooner, but my parents really wanted us to stay.. I think to make sure OH & I would stay together and to make sure we got some savings together.. and to help me adjust to becoming a mom etc. I will feel guilty about that for a long time, I've been moved out about a year now and still do. They're really supportive and I'm blessed, they got a granddaughter they adore and love to have around out of all of this.. she's amazing.. but I still do feel that way, that I'll never be able to repay them and I owe it to them to get my stuff together before I have another..

My heart is definitely in turmoil... wanting another child, but feeling like it just isn't right for us right now..

 

[merakola]

I don't think hot tea was trying to be rude, she was just stating an opinion which is always expressed through forums whether you're in the teen pregnancy section or not.

i dont think she meant to come off rude either but they way she stated :

" i wonder what a 27 year old would want with a teenager" that sounded kind of rude. maybe not her intention but i wouldve taken it the wrong way as well.