Teen moms, do you support teen pregnancy?

[hot tea]

I am a fellow young mom, had my first at 17, so please do not take offense!

So, my question for all you ladies is... Do you support teen pregnancies? Or I should specify, planned teen pregnancy? Obviously things happen and all children should be cherished, but a planned baby for a young girl of say 16 to 18?

I love my son more than life itself and he absolutely saved my life. He lives a very normal life and wants for nothing. This did not come without cost of myself... But that is the choice you make when you have sex at a young age. I do not support teen pregnancies, though. By not support them I just mean planned teen pregnancy. Maybe because I believe moms like me are a minority, not the majority. Most teen moms I know... Actually all I know in person, I would never associate with because of their parenting standards.

Please note there is NO judgement for any of you individual ladies, I just wanted to hear your thoughts and your aspirations and your beliefs! Thought it might be an interesting topic.

 

[oOskittlesOo]

I feel exactly like you. I'm 17 pregnant with my first and I definitley think I'm trying to make sure I don't end up as the majority.

 

[hot tea]

Motherhood is such a huge responsibility. I just think it should be left for an older age group. At a young age your brain is not fully developed yet, you are not fully matured... Obviously amazing mommies come from all age groups but that is surely hindering.

 

[preppymommy]

I would never ever ever have planned to get pregnant at 15 we used every type of contraception available and it still happened, so I guess it was meant to be but both FOB and I come from stable families who are able and willing to provide for us financially and emotionally so it's not a bad situation. That being said I would never want my child to get pregnant/get someone pregnant at a yound age- emotionally mature or not- kids need to be kids.

 

[megan.rose]

I am 20, Expecting my first...lol not planned. I completely agree...and even more disheartening is hearing that a lot of young girls are getting pregnant because they think that babies are easy and can be used as an accecorrie(yikes spelling)...its just sad...

 

[Angel.Mummy]

my lo was planned and although i'm young i can cope.
i have basically brought my niece up from when she was 2 weeks old so know i can juggle my school work and a child. i know it won't be easy but i am willing to do anything i can to give my baby the best life i can possibly give it xx

 

[hot tea]

I am 20, Expecting my first...lol not planned. I completely agree...and even more disheartening is hearing that a lot of young girls are getting pregnant because they think that babies are easy and can be used as an accecorrie(yikes spelling)...its just sad...

That as well. Newborns and babies are a cake walk... That little illusion is soon shattered when they reach the mid-twos

 

[preppymommy]

I remember seeing this video in health last year about how some girls (obviously not all) who get pregnant at a young age keep the child because they hear how it is someone who will love you unconditionally which yes true but that's so sad that they feel like they need to get pregnant to be loved

 

[oOskittlesOo]

Motherhood is such a huge responsibility. I just think it should be left for an older age group. At a young age your brain is not fully developed yet, you are not fully matured... Obviously amazing mommies come from all age groups but that is surely hindering.

I think that the "best" time to have kids is before 30 just in my opinion, but after you've finished school so you know you have a stable job etc. I know I'll be a perfect mommy but it's going to be hard.

 

[preppymommy]

Motherhood is such a huge responsibility. I just think it should be left for an older age group. At a young age your brain is not fully developed yet, you are not fully matured... Obviously amazing mommies come from all age groups but that is surely hindering.

I think that the "best" time to have kids is before 30 just in my opinion, but after you've finished school so you know you have a stable job etc. I know I'll be a perfect mommy but it's going to be hard.

I agree if I had a "do over" I would want this baby when I was out of school and with a steady job.

 

[hot tea]

I think 25 wouls have been an ideal age for me to get pregnant the first time. I like the idea of being a "young" mom but with a bit of life experience. Though I think 30 is a great age for loads of people to become mommies! In general anyways...

 

[preppymommy]

Yeah I would still want to be young enough to keep up with them but not as young as I am right now.

 

[oOskittlesOo]

I just like the idea of being able to relate with things my kids go through that's why I like before 30. But yeah I think that it all really depends on whas best for the individual just definitley once they've gotten somewhere and done something. Basically being able to take care of themselves and the LO.

 

[amygwen]

Hopefully I don't offend anyone, but I think having a planned pregnancy as a teenager is irresponsible. Now that my son is here, I don't regret him AT ALL, but I really regret bringing him into a situation where I'm inexperienced in life and I can't support him alone. I think a lot of younger girls get into the mindset that "My boyfriend will take care of us", well what if your boyfriend leaves you when your baby is born? What will you do then? Fair enough if you don't want to go college but realistically without a degree you can't support a child on your own without help. I get really irritated when I meet younger girls who are still in school and say they really want a baby, because they don't understand how many opportunities they can pursue that I can't!

 

[Angel.Mummy]

I think 25 wouls have been an ideal age for me to get pregnant the first time.

i agree that before mid 20's would of been the perfect age for me but after i lost my little angel, i just felt that the time was right and i know people might say i'm too young but personally i think i can do this. i think i am actual maturer than most people my age as i have practically brought up my niece xxx

 

[hot tea]

Hopefully I don't offend anyone, but I think having a planned pregnancy as a teenager is irresponsible. Now that my son is here, I don't regret him AT ALL, but I really regret bringing him into a situation where I'm inexperienced in life and I can't support him alone. I think a lot of younger girls get into the mindset that "My boyfriend will take care of us", well what if your boyfriend leaves you when your baby is born? What will you do then? Fair enough if you don't want to go college but realistically without a degree you can't support a child on your own without help. I get really irritated when I meet younger girls who are still in school and say they really want a baby, because they don't understand how many opportunities they can pursue that I can't!

Exactly... So nice to talk to like minded people! I have always felt a misfit, no moms my age around here understand my point of view... And to have someone else basically speak my thoughts, wow. Very refreshing.

The reality of a child is a lot more momentous than most teen mommies imagine. It is beyond imagining. Thankfully I never had any illusions.

 

[angeleyez92]

Hello I do not really agree with planned teenage pregnancy if the girl is under 18. I believe that a lot of young mothers can be just as good of mother though. I am only 18 years old and I am pregnant. My baby was planned by my OH and I. I do not think that it was irresponsible of us becasue we are both emotionally and financially ready to have a child. My OH is quite a bit older though. He is 27 years old which probably makes a difference?

 

[tasha41]

No, I don't support planned teenage pregnancies. Of course every situation is different, but I can only speak from experience. My daughter was unplanned, and though we are doing well, it is a lot of hard work. A lot of things that were priorities before are still very important to me, but my daughter is more important, and to be honest it's tough.

I wanted a career first, then marriage and baby.. it really would have been the 'easy order'... I'm doing college but can only do it part time so it's taking longer and I am finding the opportunities just aren't the same. For example if I was in school full-time I could do a co-op (like an internship that counts for credits at school), it's not available to me as a part time student though. Which makes it difficult to gain experience to apply for jobs etc.

And, because I don't have a 'career', and I'm working PT, my work schedule sucks, I have plenty of time with my daughter during the day when I'm home with her, but I don't have very much time alone with OH or 'family time' with the 3 of us to go do things because I work weekends and evenings.

Marriage is another thing that's important to me, and because of our current financial responsibilities, and me not working FT.. it's not something we can afford at the moment.. which is hard, because I want it so badly, my OH does but is okay with how things are.. it is 'painful' to want something but not be able to have it.

Of course I could put my daughter in daycare, go to school full time during the day, then work part-time evenings/weekends to essentially support my school and daycare costs, but it's not fair to my daughter.. so it's not even something I've considered, though technically an option.

 

[hot tea]

I do wonder what 27 year old man wouls want with a teenager... Do not take offense but that strikes me as strange!

 

[krys]

I think that planned teen pregnancy is somewhat irresponsible. It's a completely different situation if she accidentally got pregnant, and embraced the situation and did her best to raise the child. I don't really see anything wrong with a 19-20 year old girl planning her pregnancy, as long as she is married, or at least in a healthy, committed relationship. Obviously in this case I'm thinking of someone who is mentally and financially stable... I do think it's best to wait though, because honestly, even most 19-20 year old girls aren't in the ideal situation and aren't any of the things I mentioned up there.
I do think that there are a lot of teens out there that just see the glamourous side of pregnancy, and just want attention. This makes me sad, because it's girls like this that end up pawning their kids off on others because they aren't ready for the responsibility!

I know I kind of bounced around in this statement, but these are just my thoughts