Telling Mom... Ugh.... ( A little long )

[LexyAjMommy]

I know that I shouldn't be worrying about this already... but I am..and I know that the moment is going to come quicker than I want it too and I really just need insight....

I am 30 y.o and I have 2 little ones from a previous relationship. DD is going to be 9 and DS is going to be 7... I've been out of this game for a while but am excited about our little upcoming arrival! ( May, 2014 )

When I got pregnant with my DD, I was 21 years old and scared... I told my mother via email. Did not go very well!! She didn't talk to me until the day of my baby shower when I was 8 months pregnant. I know that telling her via email might not of been the BEST way to go but... I was scared and well.. young and naive.

2 years later when I got pregnant with DS, we invited Mom and her bf ( whom I adore ) over for Easter Dinner and we told her there... She got up and walked out... and.. left. Just.. left... she came around a couple months later....

I got divorced 5 1/2 years ago and me and my SO have been together 4 1/2 years ( baby is due on our 5 year anniversary )... My mother is not very fond of my SO and it's her fault because she stuck her nose in my business and she didn't like my response to it and she blames him for 'changing' me....

Well I am 4w4d preggers * based on LMP * and... I am scared to tell her. I can't believe I just typed that. That I, at 30, am scared.

She lives over an hour away, I only see her a couple times.. When I called her in early August to let her know we found a house and our offer was accepted- she said ' oh thats nice, i gotta go " and hung up in my face...

I don't know why she can't be happy for me. So I made a deal with my SO... If we get the mortgage, I'll call her that day and tell her... If we don't? I'm waiting until after our 10/17 appt to tell her...

Personally?

I'd love to get her vm and leave it on there... I really don't want the negativity... I am happy about having this baby... My SO and I both are! I don't really want her negativity at this time... I know I'll let it get to me...

Any ideas?

 

[nolansmom]

I know that ppl always respond with "this is my story" but really I've had so much negativity from OH family this pregnancy that it's become just not worth it anymore.. I am tired of caring and def not the "scared" type - but his family is the judgemental type that makes one scared to be honest and can never be happy for you.. Seems your mom is the same way - tell her and then don't talk to her for months.. Seems like she isn't much important in your life anyway..

 

[bluejen]

Im so sorry you are so scared to tell your mum. You havve got it right though you and SO are happy and thats tge main priority. Its hard to let go but it sounds like maybe you dont need her in your life right now. I know shes your mum but that doesnt mean she can be so dismissive of you without consequences. I hope you sort it out. xxxxx

 

[LexyAjMommy]

Thank you ladies! It felt better for me to get it out... My OH family is ecstatic!!! This will be his mothers FIRST grandchild and she is absolutely over the moon about it!!! I just loved getting that reaction... I guess I wanted to revel in that a little longer before I let her ruin it!!! Thank you for your thoughts and words! Needed the uplift!