Telling my friend who's LTTC...

[lousielou]

My OH and I have so far only told family that I'm pregnant, but we're thinking of telling a few more people over the next few weeks. There is one friend I have that I'm nervous about telling though... I only see her every few months, but she's a good friend, and I like her a lot. The thing is, she and her OH have been TTC for a good couple of years now. Last year she lost a baby at 8 weeks pregnant, and she's been seeing a specialist to try to find out what's going on. I'm obviously going to try to be as delicate about it all as possible, but I know that although she'll try to be happy for me, it's going to hurt her that I'm pregnant.

Has anyone got any advice? How can I approach this tactfully?

xx

 

[gemm]

:wave:

I had the same kind of problem, my best friend has been ttc for 7 years! I have always been the one to console her when she found out people around her are pregnant/ had babies or whenever she was finding things particularly difficult to deal with and so you can imagine how difficult it was to tell her it was me, this time, that was expecting!

I was just honest from the off, although i know it hit her like a rock (its only natural) she was pleased i was up front with her, sometimes i think that if you pussy foot around the subject it seems like you pity them a bit and thats worse than just being natural (meant in the nicest of ways) I think telling them like anyone else is the best way, and don't start the convo by asking how their ttc is going!! My friend has had that done to her a few times and always found it far worse when the announcement came!!!

Its definitely hard to say, and its hard knowing how you're making your friend feel but the best way is to be straight and spill it like you would to any other friends.

XxX thinking of you and REALLY sympathise!!!! xxxx

 

[JaniceT]

Just tell her upfront. She will be able to appreciate that so much more even if she feels a little hurt. It's normal to feel some self-pity.

I was in the same situation, me being the one TTC for 3 years. My best friend got pregnant within a month of getting married but told me only at the 3rd month (which is a custom here). She said she was afraid to hurt me but I told her, I am very happy for her. It's her special occasion and she deserves to be happy!

Of course,. I cried a little when I was alone but that's also expected due to the pent up frustrations. I was frustrated because I had so much difficulty getting pregnant, NOT because I was jealos of her.

So do tell her

 

[cMac]

We were trying for 5 years before we got pregnant so I have been on the recieving end of my friends dreading telling me. I'm not a negative person and all my friends knew that I would be delighted for them and at the same sad for myself. I never wanted anyone's pity just consideration for my situation. Telling your friend as soon as you can shows that she and her feelings are very important to you.

I found the easiest way to recieve the news was by phone as I could have a little silent tear and they didn't know. It also meant the next time I saw them that I had got over my sadness and I could them them how happy I was for their pregnancy.

Good luck, I promise she will be delighted for you x