terminating pregnancy at 12 weeks. ugh.

sounder

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well, had my 12 week scan yesterday and the radiologist couldn't disguise her concern. although she couldn't tell me anything, i knew in leaving, without a picture or another appointment that the news would be the worst.
my OB is on holiday, so i had to meet with another, a complete stranger, and he had to tell my husband and me the horrible news. the baby doesn't have a skull - a rare neural defect. while i could carry the baby to term, it will die at delivery. i knowing the news would be bad, maybe not anticipating that bad, we had the discussion last evening and knew that we would agree to terminate.
so, after the meeting, i had bloodwork done, filled out a bunch of paperwork and when they can arrange a d&c next week, or maybe the week after, we will end the pregnancy. unfortunately, although it is terminal, the surgery is not considered urgent, but must be done before the 13 week mark.
gruelling to carry on, knowing i am carrying a baby that will be no more.
don't want to frighten you all - we all know that pregnancy is complicated and comes with risks - just telling my story, as rare as it may be.
but, this was our last kick at the can and as i am leaving B&B, i wanted to wish you all the best success with your pregnancies.
 
:hugs: so sorry

I would ask for access for the ethical prenatal losses section - I think you will find lots of ladies who have faced similar issues and had to go through what you are right now that might be able to offer you support.

I spend a lot of time in the pregnancy after a loss section ( after graduating from ttcal )and there are ladies who have dealt with similar losses due to similar complications as you and your baby as well as other complications and they are now going through successful pregnancies.

Again I am so sorry - once you have suffered a loss pregnancy is definately a scarier place - you become painfully aware of what can go wrong - I have found a lot of support both at home and in ttcal and pal where the girls all understand how you're feeling.

Wishing you healing and hope

hx
 
im so sorry hun, wish there was something i could say tomhelp make this easier for u n ur hubby, sweet dreams little one xx
 
So sorry hun x
 
Really sorry to read this, you are in my thoughts x
 
Sorry to read this hunny! I agree with the previous poster that you should ask for access to the ethical losses section where other mums will be able to support you.

If it is any comfort I know of somebody who faced an almost identical situation who has gone on to have 2 sucessful pregnancies.

Hugs xx
 
I am so so sorry. I have never heard of such a thing, what awful news to hear. I'm praying for you, I really mean it. No mother should have to make a decision like that :(
 
oh hunny thats is so so sad.my heart aches for you and your other half.Love and hugs.Sweet dreams little one xxxxx
 
I am desperately sorry. I wish there was something that could be done your heart must be in pieces.

I pray you will carry a healthy baby one day soon when you are ready and join us again. I wish you all the best. A milllion cuddles for you xxxx
 
I'm so desperately sorry.

My heart aches for you and your are in my prayers .
 
I am so very sorry that you are going through this... Oddly enough I just read through this blog about a family who had to go through something similar. However, they ended up caring the baby to term and sadly she passed away shortly after delivery but they had said they would not have done it any other way.

I, of course, have had no experience in something as heartbreaking as this but I just want you to know there are others that have experienced it. The blog is very well written and took me about an hour to get through. It is very upsetting but I really think it is worth the read..

https://thegiftofrachelslife.blogspot.com/
 
I am so sorry. I am twice genetically pre-disposed to ntds and I know ancephaly. I really hope your heartbreak heals quickly and you find the stregnth to move on.

You are doing what is best for you both xx
 

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