Terrible thread on over 35

[vintage67]

There's a really awful thread on the third trimester forum right now, on "how old is too old?"

I should not have read it.

All of the comments on disabled babies, ruining your children's lives by being too old, remembrances of being "ashamed" of their older parents, and so on and so on. Most people did not see these things, but it doesn't take too many negative commetns to depress someone royally.

 

[DeeM73]

There's a really awful thread on the third trimester forum right now, on "how old is too old?"

I should not have read it.

All of the comments on disabled babies, ruining your children's lives by being too old, remembrances of being "ashamed" of their older parents, and so on and so on. Most people did not see these things, but it doesn't take too many negative commetns to depress someone royally.

I know sorry I read them all too so sad x

 

[BeachComber]

I am going to have a look at the thread, although I know I shouldn't lol.

My Mom was 37 when I was born and I never had any bad feelings or thoughts that she was too old etc. I think that is ridiculous.

 

[DeeM73]

I will be 38 when our 3rd is born and it makes me feel sad that people think that's old but I guess that's their opinion.I don't think there is any 'right' age to have a baby and not everyone is blessed falling pregnant straight away,I don't think it's something you can just 'plan' x

 

[poppy666]

I replied on that thread ages ago and a lot of negative comments are from really young mums to be... seriously you can not predict what is going to happen in your life 10yrs from now so i guess you can expect those comments from a 20+ year old

Im 41 and just happy im blessed with one more

 

[Garnet]

Push Ignore! All that matters is your children's opinion and sorry but I've done the education thing, career thing, and plus I have the income to support my children comfortably so who cares what others think...

 

[Andypanda6570]

 

[Gia7777]

I couldn't resist, and posted over there even tho I have no business in 3rd tri right now.

 

[Andypanda6570]

I couldn't resist, and posted over there even tho I have no business in 3rd tri right now.

LOL I did too and I am not even pregnant yet

 

[FirstTime1974]

Push Ignore! All that matters is your children's opinion and sorry but I've done the education thing, career thing, and plus I have the income to support my children comfortably so who cares what others think...

My sentiments exactly Garnet - well said!

I'm a FTM who will turn 38 a few weeks after LO is born. The only disappointment I have is that my mum was 44 when she had me and sadly both my parents have passed away. My sister (16 years older then me) never had children, so this would have been their first Grandchild.

 

[Sewergrrl]

I wasn't bothered by the thread, as I think most expressed themselves well. The risk chart and medical issues posted were the poster's reasoning as to why they want to be a younger mom. I already know everything that can go wrong and it's not like reading that was a shocking newsflash.

People say things now when they're young that can change as your circumstances change. I cannot fault them for how they think because I too once felt the same...

- When I was younger, I didn't want children and IF I had them, it would be by 25.
- When I was 25, I didn't want children and and even bigger IF would cut off at 30.
- When I was 30, I didn't want children at all.
- When I met my husband at 31 and found out he wanted children (he's 4 yrs younger), I said I'd consider it. We got married when I was almost 34, pregnant 6 months later, delivered at 35.
- When I was 35, 1 was enough and I thought I was too old for more.
- When I had a surprise pregnancy earlier this year that quickly ended in a MC, I realized that I wanted another child and gave myself until I was about 40 to have the baby. 3 months later I became pregnant at 38 and now feel that 2 children are enough.
- I could change my mind at anytime and try for a third.

Quite a change from my initial cut off of 25.

 

[DeeM73]

Noone can really plan their life out so to speak and don't think age really comes into it.I lost my mum 4 years ago when she was 56 I do feel for my 2 kids they were only 8 and 9 at the time but there are grandparents living in their 90's!!!It should be all about choice rather than worry about and age,so sad x

 

[MamaD]

It did anger me a bit to read, as they paint mothers over 30-35 as too infirm to keep up with children. I had my first at 19, and I'll be 38 when this Baby is born, but I don't FEEL any different than I did then. If anything, I'll have more time and energy to devote to this child, as it will be the only "little" one in the house! xx

 

[DeeM73]

I will be 38 too and I have 2 great helpers!!! x

 

[MamaD]

Me too! I've offers for babysitters all the time! My kids will be almost 11, almost 13, almost 16, and 18. I feel blessed that they're all as excited as me about this Baby!! xx

 

[DeeM73]

Aww that's great,haven't told our kids yet until 12 weeks but they will be over the moon x

 

[MamaD]

I understand the need to keep the "secret", and it would've been nice to share something so special between my husband & I for awhile, but it sure didn't work in this house. I had been trying to get pregnant for 39 months, so when that test came up positive, I think I screamed the house down! Had to explain my moment of insanity to them!

 

[DeeM73]

Aww so happy for guys I had an early miscarriage in May and glad I never said anything,this is why we're waiting.It's dragging though!!!! x

 

[billlumbergh]

i though that thread might bother a few people... but whats that old saying, Opinions are like arseholes..everyone has one

i'm 26 and feel incredibly young to be having this baby, don't get me wrong, i know i'll be a good mom and this baby was planned and made with love, but i think theres a distinct advantage to being a little older. more mentally prepared or something... i dunno what the words are.

I work with a dentist who had three babies in her late late 30's/early 40's and she is a wonderful mom, full of energy and completely level headed...she's wonderful.

In no way is your 30's or 40's considered old.

My husband is 41 and he's awesome, full of beans and he'll be a great dad to this baby.

And in regard to health problems... sadly there is a connection with older women...but.... there is also new stats about the amount of young women, i mean late teens and early 20's having babies with downs syndrome in the north... it was a gyne nurse telling me this. so i guess it is what it is...nothing is set in stone and as long as you want and love your baby who goves a flying s**t how old you are.

 

[MamaD]

Aww so happy for guys I had an early miscarriage in May and glad I never said anything,this is why we're waiting.It's dragging though!!!! x

Completely understand your reasoning, and so sorry for your loss. Looking forward to following your journey - let me know how your children react when you tell them! xx