Terrible thread on over 35

[vintage67]

Motherhood is hard and it tests you. You rise to the occasion or you don't. Thankfully, most do. We've all seen the societal effects when people don't. We thought having two kids would encourage my sister in law and her boyfriend, now husband to grow up and it didn't. And they were both in their thirties at the time.

It's hard work and it takes a lot of energy and patience. Generally, the younger moms have more energy and the older ones a bit more patience. This isn't carved in stone, and there are advantages to both.

 

[poppy666]

Totally agree there,in my 20s i had no patience with my older 3, but have loads with korben my 18mth old

 

[jennyxx]

My Mother-In-Law had my Fiance when she was 44 (we all say the electric must have went off for a few days) and he is now 25 and she 69. There is a 17 year age gap between him and his brothers and they are the happiest family I have ever met. Although having a heart condition she is still happy and young at heart.

 

[vintage67]

I am 44 for those who didn't know. Your story is sweet, but I can't say that seeing it in print isn't somewhat alarming! (him being 25 and her 69!) But I'm sure neither of them would say he shouldn't have been born or has been "cheated" somehow.

 

[Sewergrrl]

I am 44 for those who didn't know.

My goodness! You really dusted the cobwebs off for this baby, huh?

I'm totally kidding! I LOVE it that you're here, pregnant, and proud.

 

[poppy666]

Great age Vintage and congratz

Im 41 be nearly 42 when this one is born.

 

[xxembobxx]

in my 20s i had no patience with my older 3, but have loads with korben my 18mth old

I was the same. Married at 18 and had 2 babies quickly after. Everything felt so hard as I hadn't established myself in life. I have so much more patience and confidence now I'm old!
Old isn't what it used to be - my nanna was old at 50 and yet my mum is in her 50's and plays Playstation and works harder than ever.
I don't feel like an old mum as there are a lot of mums a similar age to me. I think I was more prejudiced against when I was younger, I can still remember the stares as I took the kids to school. I know I looked younger than I was but the judgmental looks were terrible.

 

[xxembobxx]

Just to add I think as long as you are ready for children then age doesn't matter.
I know teenage mothers and it's like they were born to be a mum, likewise I know older people that find it a real shock to have children as they have had a long time without them.

 

[vintage67]

We have a 7 year old. We started trying when he was 3 and had 3 miscarriages along the way. I had kind of given up and then surprise! It's a happy, frightening time!

 

[poppy666]

I dont think you can win no matter how old you are, be it a young mum or older mum. I suffered a missed miscarriage at 9wks 3 days before christmas just passed and never thought id be blessed with another child so soon after my loss so this baby means everything to us and ive just learnt to ignore negative comments.

 

[LadyAce14]

My Mom had my sister and I at 17 & 19 respectively. She has been an awesome mom!
But I didn't meet Mr. Right at 13 like she did and I wanted to go to college and establish a career before trying to start a family. You all know the rest of my story and our struggles to conceive ... which had nothing to do with age.
My perspective: I would never even consider asking at a forum such as this-How young is too young? Because that's none of my damn business. So I'm concerned that the forum allowed that topic and the continued discussion. How dare anyone ask that at a place like this? Knowing full well there are plenty of older moms or wannabe moms here. And yeah, most of the discussion was pleasant and reasonable. But some comments were insulting. I tortured myself and read the whole thing. Also, I did take note at how touchy some of the younger moms and wannabe moms were when one of us "old farts" commented anything close to being better prepared for parenthood as we mature. The hypocrisy bothers me. You can start a whole thread about us oldies and how maybe we're making bad choices (like I had a choice) but goodness forbid I express an opinion on you having a child so young.

Sorry ladies. I normally take the good from this place, try to leave a little good myself and leave the rest for rubbish. But obviously, that thread and this topic have hit a nerve with me. I apologize for ranting.

 

[VoodooDoll]

Erm yes, well that was a lengthy one for a newbie. Here was my response:

"hmmm, interesting read, and a bit of a baptism of fire for a newbie, but here's my thoughts for anyone who gives a monkeys. My first child I had at the tender age of 22, she is off to University this week! My second child I had at the age of 23, he's studying for his A levels and doing well. Now I find myself pregnant again, after 17 years, at the ripe "old" age of 40. I guess I don't know what that makes me!

What I can say from experience though is that my children have only ever been a blessing to me, they have never stopped me experiencing life or acheiving in this world, infact they have simply given me the drive to experience life to the full. I don't expect my latest addition to do anything other than that.

Sooooo, young mum, old mum, educated mum, working mother, whatever....none of these will make a blind bit of difference to you if you grab motherhood with both hands and revel in it. It is a blessing to us all and no-one should criticise another's way of experiencing it."

 

[supermum7]

i am 39 and my oldest child is 22 and has 2 chldren which makes me a nanny.i am due in 6 weeks and my children including my 22 year old are so excited.I also have a 21 year old daughter who was born blind,i had her when i was 18.so this just goes to show it makes no difference if your a young mum or a mum thats just that bit older,the only thing is that an older mum is made more aware of the risks,i was not told of any risks back then.

 

[DeeM73]

Aww that's fab!Congratulations!!I'm so happy that your daughter is happy for you I hope I get the same response from my husband's family!!x

 

[princessjulia]

i havnt seen it mayb tht might be good thing take no notice ladies and enjoy lookin 4ward to your gorgeous babies

 

[SabrinaKat]

I thought it was more fashionable to be an older mum - LOL!

I'm 43 and it's my first; all the bloods/scans show baby is so far perfect. I am in excellent health and fortunately, none of my friends or family seem to think I'm too old, as for being a young mum - that's great too!

One of my neighbours is 25 and is having her second; good for her, because my little one will have some lovely neighbourhood children to play with, and I can ask her advise, but one of the benefits of being that bit older, is that I'm comfortable enough to ask for help!

Also, I'll be 60 when this baby (!) goes to university; my Dad is 75 and in perfect health; his dad lived until he was 90, so I think I'll be around. If not, then we'll have put money together in a trust to make sure he's taken care of....

oh, well....

best wishes

PS. I wonder if everyone is defensive because the older mum may have a harder time getting pregnant and the media tell us it's our fault because we 'waited' and the younger mums are being told that they are wasting their lives having their children so young. Just a thought....(not mine, what is portrayed in the media)...

 

[cluelessnow]

I'm not even going to read it.

 

[DeeM73]

I think it's a catch 22!!! Congratulations and hope you are keeping well xx

 

[seoj]

I also left a comment on that thread... because I (at age 37) feel SO blessed to be pregnant for the first time... I also know that for me, personally, I was NOT meant to be a young mom. I am much more mentally, emotionally, and financially ready now that I ever would have been in my 20's. That was my time to discover who I was, what I truly wanted out of life and to enjoy ME. I also didn't meet my hubby till I was 32... and I have NO regrets. I think whatever situation your in personally, it's hard to see outside that box we live in and why we feel our situation is "better". Especially some of the comments from the super young girls... they just don't understand. Which is fine- they are doing what they feel is best for them. As are we

I do find it unfortunate that anyway would make such ignorant comments about "older" moms... I'm sure we could come up with some good reasons to wait as well! But a good mom is a good mom- period. No matter the age. Maybe it should be about what makes a good mom... and there are many aspects to that. But age, should not be THE deciding factor.

Ok... off my soap box!

 

[_Vicky_]

Awwww dont be sad if anyone is feeling sad by that thread just be glad - I had twins at 36 - healthy happy amazing little boys that dont give a crap that I am 38. I would have been a rubbish mum any earlier and more importantly my ex would never have made a good dad. I made the perfect decision for me - my old bones are keeping up with two twenty year old monsters and tbh I wouldnt have had the initiative or balls to be so demanding of the NHS when I was in my 20's so my boys have done better to have an older mum.

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