Terrible thread on over 35

[luvmypups]

I am pg with my first and my due date is 2 weeks before my 38 birthday. My OH will be 53 the week after my due date. My family took the news great, lots of hugs and congrats. We still haven't told his family because of all the negative comments surrounding our age difference, from when we married 6 years ago. At our wedding, no less, we overheard several people comments, I hope they don't plan on kids (including his own kids). I cried on his shoulder that night. He pretty much told me screw them, it was our life. Now that we finally have a bun in the oven, it really is kinda sad that I don't even feel like I can celebrate our miracle around them. BTW, OH couldn't be happier

 

[Cee108]

There's a really awful thread on the third trimester forum right now, on "how old is too old?"

I should not have read it.

All of the comments on disabled babies, ruining your children's lives by being too old, remembrances of being "ashamed" of their older parents, and so on and so on. Most people did not see these things, but it doesn't take too many negative commetns to depress someone royally.

My mom was 36 when I was born - she was 48 when my youngest sibling was born. A surprise pregnancy, but she found out too late because her periods had been irregular and she thought it was just proper menopause setting in, LoL.

She had a great pregnancy, my bro came a week early and labor was 2 hrs - he almost popped out while my mom was still in the car!

I feel raising a kid might have been very hard on her at that age but, as she says, she never counted on her other kids being grown-up and helping out so much (I was 12 at the time!) but now that we are grown up, my brother has siblings aged 25, 24, 21 and 19 and he doesn't feel like he missed out on anything because his parents are 20 years older than average. In fact, because both my parents are 60 now, they've always kept in mind that the LO needed to grow up to be independent n mature as anything can happen to them (heaven forbid)

Based on my family's story, I don't think its up to anyone to judge when and how women should get pregnant.

I just thought I'd share a positive story about a family who had one late in life ;-)

 

[DeeM73]

I am pg with my first and my due date is 2 weeks before my 38 birthday. My OH will be 53 the week after my due date. My family took the news great, lots of hugs and congrats. We still haven't told his family because of all the negative comments surrounding our age difference, from when we married 6 years ago. At our wedding, no less, we overheard several people comments, I hope they don't plan on kids (including his own kids). I cried on his shoulder that night. He pretty much told me screw them, it was our life. Now that we finally have a bun in the oven, it really is kinda sad that I don't even feel like I can celebrate our miracle around them. BTW, OH couldn't be happier

Hiya!!! I'm in a very similar situation to you guys.Same age,same age difference and same family problems!! My family were over the moon,especially my daughter 13 and my son 12 and close friends.His family(his kids) on the otherhand were a different story,not one of them have said congratulations,just things like 'oh will this be the last one' and 'you are joking??'.I kind of expected that anyway cos a good while back my husband had made remarks to his kids about us having another and that went down like a lead balloon,we had comments like 'oh we'll all be on the Jeremy Kyle show and how embarrassing it would be if they were to have kids and the age difference between nephew/uncles etc.I find them so sad that's all they have to worry about how it will affect them when it has really nothing to do with them.I must say that his dad could not be happier My husband has the same attitude as yours but I still worry! It should be a happy time cos a little miracle is on its way.So when do you plan on telling OH's family? x

 

[SuperAwesome]

You know, all I have to say about that thread is this: I remember how young and foolish I was in my twenties.

 

[luvmypups]

Hi DeeM73

We were supposed to tell them last weekend, but OH had a business trip. He's due back tomorrow and says he's going to tell his mom in person later this week. I think his parents will be shocked (we didnt tell anyone we were trying) but they will warm to the idea. It's his daughters I am worried about, I expect similar results as you got. To top it off, his youngest (who is 28, but just started speaking to me the past 2 years), is due in late Jan with his first grandchild. I am sure she will not be receptive, and assume I am trying to steal her thunder. We have been trying for four years, they got pg the first month they tried. I don't want her thunder, but I would like for people to be happy for me, as every woman deserve at least one miracle.
I hope your family comes around, too, and realizes the special blessing you and your OH have created.

 

[DeeM73]

Hiya! We didn't tell anyone we were trying either,my husband just dropped little 'comments' a good while back which didn't go down to well!I have always wanted a 3rd but as our kids got older it was 'like starting all over'.Anyway we decided we would give it this year and I feel so blessed it has happened!!It was like 'now or never' if you know what I mean.Both sets are shocked but with mine they are over the moon along with my husband's dad,his family like brothers and sister are shocked but fine it's his kids that it kind of causes the problems but at the end of the day it has nothing to do with them!My husband has just started speaking to 2 of his kids the past 4 years so I know what it's like too.I was so worried because the family were back together and I thought it would cause problems and there would be a big fall out.My husband like I say couldn't care less if they are not happy then so be it,it's me that worries cos I want any fallouts just everyone to be 'happy'.I hope all goes well when you do tell,as long as you are both happy then that's all that matters.If his daughter does think that then that's something she has to deal with sometimes people will always think whatever no matter what the real story is.Keep in touch!! x

 

[Mabythistime]

I just dont get it. I am not one sided cos I am in the over 35 section...we only started to try when I was 33/34 for #1.

I still dont get why the age thing is brought up in a negative light sometimes. So nice to see all the "positive" stories here, but sad for you ladies getting the negative remarks, especially from families

Who thinks they have the right to decide what our hearts may feel and may not feel? If your body tells you that you want a baby, then that is all that matters. If your body gives you a baby, who is anyone to question that!

I still sometimes go back to the TTC over 35 forum, and my heart bleeds for many ladies there. I go to the teen section and I see many many very grown-up ladies over there too struggling with the opposite side of the age judjement wheel.

A baby is a gift and no woman should have to be asked why or receive any judgemental comments. If only it was easy to ignore people.