The BFP Before The 'Would Of Been' Due Date Thread - Any Joiners?

[newmrsg]

I would love to join! My last MC I was due 4/03/12... Praying we get a BFP again! I can relate to the still crying....

 

[xxxjessxxx]

Men never show feelings, my dh never cries since ive been with him (2004) he cried 2 times, when he proposed and when we had a miscarriage...thats it!

Oh my, I think they make it so much harder on themselves sometimes. They know it too. But they just never want to.
Does he seem to be coping with it well?

 

[xxxjessxxx]

Welcome newmrsg - hope your coping from your loss I know it's hard hunny.
Have you thought of ways to help it?

 

[Twinkie210]

Since so many of us are in the same place- still grieving for our losses I thought maybe I would share what I have done to help me out.

First I got a ring with what would have been my baby's birthstone (Aquamarine- March). I wear it everyday and even freaked out when I thought I lost it camping with my son!

I joined a support group for pregnancy/infant loss. I love talking to all the girls on BnB, but there is something even more therapeudic about talking to other women face to face, and I have done a lot of crying in front of them, and some of them cry too.

I participated in a memorial walk/ balloon release last weekend and I am doing another this weekend.

I have a pregnancy loss ribbon that I am wearing this month (Pregnancy/ Infant loss awareness month)

I have a little stuffed bear that I sleep with that makes me feel closer to my baby. I got it from the walk that I did. I know it sounds silly, but it helps!

What is everyone else doing?

 

[heavyheart]

hi ladies mind if i join I had my mc 4/7/11 at 13weeks iwas due 7/01/12. Iam finding it really hard to be positive some times no matter how hard i try. My next door neighbour who is my best friend is due her baby this week am soooo pleased for her but part of me cant help being sad and a bit jealous its not me. To make things harder iam due to be my other close friends birthing partner in 3weeks!!!!! i really thought i would have been pregnant again by now and somehow it would make things slightly better, not to replace my angel because nothing will but just so i could focus on my own pregnancy and know that i was back on that journey again but instead ive been left in the trying boat. I thank my lucky stars everyday however for my precious daughters that i have here with me, words cant explain my love for them, they keep me going and make everything better.

Iam sorry for all your losses and that we all have to be here but thank you for your support xx

 

[confusedprego]

I would love to join you guys! My due date would have been March 13th. I just got back from the doctor and she said after my next AF we're free to try again! I am so excited My FF says I've already ovulated so hopefully the witch will show up when she should and we can get back to BD!

When it comes to coping, I have my good days and my bad days. It's slowly transitioning to more good days than bad days, thankfully. I'll have little setbacks that are really unfortunate, like today at my doctor's visit, they just copied my old "info sheet" that was from my first OB visit and she highlighted the "reason for visit: First OB visit" and told me to cross it out and put the real reason in - which was my yearly exam. So...that wasn't very fun, but I recovered pretty quickly, I think.

Like Twinkie, I got a ring but it's just a rose gold band that I'm going to wear on my thumb or put on my necklace (it's still being engraved). I'm getting the date of my d&c engraved on the inside and plan to put our future children's birthdates on the inside so that I can always carry all of my (potential) children with me. It made me feel so much better to acknowledge that I had a life in me and that it was real and that we loved it.

My DH has been great through this process. It was so painful to see him in so much pain but he never did cry in front of me. Which I felt very bad about because I knew why he would go outside sometimes (to cry) and could see in his eyes when he came back that he had been but do find it comforting that it meant so much to him to upset me the least as was possible.

I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason, and I'm trying my best to find the silver lining.

So sorry for everyone's losses and I love that we have each other to chat with

 

[jennajul2001]

Can I join you guys too? I lost my lo at 16 weeks on august 15th. My due date was January 27th 2012 and I am really hoping for a bfp before my due date. I am in my first cycle since my mc and would be over the moon if I got my bfp this month. But I'm not even sure if I ovulated this cycle or not. I am feeling pregnancy symptoms but it's most likely all in my head lol.

 

[threebirds]

Hi every1

Can I join too? Good pma thread. Would sooo love to be preg by 'would have been due date'. I had three diff dates in the 3mths I was preg & really dont want to get fixated on one single date (just my way of working thru this, tho my feelings on this might change when the time comes) so could you just put down Feb 2012 for me? Thanks
Good luck ladies!! I am thinking of you all, lots of babydust x

 

[Srbjbex]

Lovely ladies - I would love to join too

My due date would have bee 22 May. my miscarriage was very recent, but we plan to start trying again fairly soon.

Would be lovely to be part of a group that is all going through the same!

Dust to everyone!

 

[xxxjessxxx]

Since so many of us are in the same place- still grieving for our losses I thought maybe I would share what I have done to help me out.

First I got a ring with what would have been my baby's birthstone (Aquamarine- March). I wear it everyday and even freaked out when I thought I lost it camping with my son!

I joined a support group for pregnancy/infant loss. I love talking to all the girls on BnB, but there is something even more therapeudic about talking to other women face to face, and I have done a lot of crying in front of them, and some of them cry too.

I participated in a memorial walk/ balloon release last weekend and I am doing another this weekend.

I have a pregnancy loss ribbon that I am wearing this month (Pregnancy/ Infant loss awareness month)

I have a little stuffed bear that I sleep with that makes me feel closer to my baby. I got it from the walk that I did. I know it sounds silly, but it helps!

What is everyone else doing?

That's a lovely idea, thank you
I love the idea of the ring, I want to do that - But having 4 losses would probably look funny having 4 rings
I heard about that yesterday! They are lighting a candle at 7pm Friday 15th October to remember all the losses, im going to do that
I was thinking of a support group - does it help alot?
That's a sweet idea, well with the first Lil Roo, we just seemed to call the baby that. Anyways, when I lost Roo, I saw a little Disney Roo teddy bear which even says Lil Roo on it, and it plays a lullaby
I've written letters which helps Made a CD of songs that remind me or help. Named my losses, as I hate referring to them as 'it' or 'the miscarriage' So they all have names which have meanings.
Me and OH are going to be releasing 4 sky lanterns on friday too I feel like that's letting them go, and I don't think I'm ready to yet x x

 

[xxxjessxxx]

hi ladies mind if i join I had my mc 4/7/11 at 13weeks iwas due 7/01/12. Iam finding it really hard to be positive some times no matter how hard i try. My next door neighbour who is my best friend is due her baby this week am soooo pleased for her but part of me cant help being sad and a bit jealous its not me. To make things harder iam due to be my other close friends birthing partner in 3weeks!!!!! i really thought i would have been pregnant again by now and somehow it would make things slightly better, not to replace my angel because nothing will but just so i could focus on my own pregnancy and know that i was back on that journey again but instead ive been left in the trying boat. I thank my lucky stars everyday however for my precious daughters that i have here with me, words cant explain my love for them, they keep me going and make everything better.

Iam sorry for all your losses and that we all have to be here but thank you for your support xx

Of course we don't - welcome
Sorry for your loss and your struggling
I think it's a natural process to be jealous, I know I am. Hopefully in a positive light it can give you determination to get that for yourself again
You'll pull through it hunny - the thought of having what we lost again, I think is what sometimes keeps us going x x

 

[xxxjessxxx]

I would love to join you guys! My due date would have been March 13th. I just got back from the doctor and she said after my next AF we're free to try again! I am so excited My FF says I've already ovulated so hopefully the witch will show up when she should and we can get back to BD!

When it comes to coping, I have my good days and my bad days. It's slowly transitioning to more good days than bad days, thankfully. I'll have little setbacks that are really unfortunate, like today at my doctor's visit, they just copied my old "info sheet" that was from my first OB visit and she highlighted the "reason for visit: First OB visit" and told me to cross it out and put the real reason in - which was my yearly exam. So...that wasn't very fun, but I recovered pretty quickly, I think.

Like Twinkie, I got a ring but it's just a rose gold band that I'm going to wear on my thumb or put on my necklace (it's still being engraved). I'm getting the date of my d&c engraved on the inside and plan to put our future children's birthdates on the inside so that I can always carry all of my (potential) children with me. It made me feel so much better to acknowledge that I had a life in me and that it was real and that we loved it.

My DH has been great through this process. It was so painful to see him in so much pain but he never did cry in front of me. Which I felt very bad about because I knew why he would go outside sometimes (to cry) and could see in his eyes when he came back that he had been but do find it comforting that it meant so much to him to upset me the least as was possible.

I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason, and I'm trying my best to find the silver lining.

So sorry for everyone's losses and I love that we have each other to chat with

Hello sweetie
I've seen you on threads quite often on BnB - Sorry for your loss
I like your positivity for getting back to TTC
It's good to hear your beginning to handle it ok, it does take a while.
Aww that's a lovely idea too, I replied to Twinkie saying what I've done so far, but I forgot to mention that I'm also trying to find the 'right' tattoo to resemble my angels, OH said he's going to get it done too.
It's sweet how he's trying to protect you from being upset, as long as your sticking together through this
I believ that everything happens for a reason too, we'll all get our silver linings one day x x

 

[xxxjessxxx]

Can I join you guys too? I lost my lo at 16 weeks on august 15th. My due date was January 27th 2012 and I am really hoping for a bfp before my due date. I am in my first cycle since my mc and would be over the moon if I got my bfp this month. But I'm not even sure if I ovulated this cycle or not. I am feeling pregnancy symptoms but it's most likely all in my head lol.

Sorry to hear about your angel
Hopefully your getting through it though
Sorry to hear your confused, I have to admit my cycle after my MC i was sure i was pregnant, as I had soo many symptoms. I sooo hope there your way to your this month

 

[xxxjessxxx]

Hi every1

Can I join too? Good pma thread. Would sooo love to be preg by 'would have been due date'. I had three diff dates in the 3mths I was preg & really dont want to get fixated on one single date (just my way of working thru this, tho my feelings on this might change when the time comes) so could you just put down Feb 2012 for me? Thanks
Good luck ladies!! I am thinking of you all, lots of babydust x

Of course you can join!
That's fine, after rplying to everyone I will add all the newbies
Sorry for your loss - but hopefully we'll all get our much deserved x

 

[xxxjessxxx]

Lovely ladies - I would love to join too

My due date would have bee 22 May. my miscarriage was very recent, but we plan to start trying again fairly soon.

Would be lovely to be part of a group that is all going through the same!

Dust to everyone!

Welcome lovely
Sorry to hear of your recent loss - do you feel like your coping well?
When do you began to come back to the TTC madness? x

 

[Srbjbex]

Lovely ladies - I would love to join too

My due date would have bee 22 May. my miscarriage was very recent, but we plan to start trying again fairly soon.

Would be lovely to be part of a group that is all going through the same!

Dust to everyone!

Welcome lovely
Sorry to hear of your recent loss - do you feel like your coping well?
When do you began to come back to the TTC madness? x

Thank you !

I'm coping better than I thought I would to be honest. I've been focussing on the positives, particulalry how stong the relationship with my husband is and how lucky I am to have him.

Technically I am waiting for my first period before I start TTC again (who know when that well be... hopefully around the start of November... but we have agreed to NTNP till then. We havent had any yet since it happened, and we are both relaxed about this, but we are also both agreed that if there is a time time that it feels right then we will do, and if something happens it happens

 

[xxxjessxxx]

Thank you !

I'm coping better than I thought I would to be honest. I've been focussing on the positives, particulalry how stong the relationship with my husband is and how lucky I am to have him.

Technically I am waiting for my first period before I start TTC again (who know when that well be... hopefully around the start of November... but we have agreed to NTNP till then. We havent had any yet since it happened, and we are both relaxed about this, but we are also both agreed that if there is a time time that it feels right then we will do, and if something happens it happens

Ahh I'm glad to hear you are hun, sometimes us girlies need someone who's optimistic lol!
Ahh still waiting for AF? Mine came 10 days late with my first loss.
I like your thoughts
After losing Lil Roo, I didn't feel like having AT ALL! But about 5 days after, me and OH we're having a bath together and it just felt soo right to do something so I understand what you mean
And if your body is ready then it will happen, if it's not ready it won't
GL flower

 

[Twinkie210]

Since so many of us are in the same place- still grieving for our losses I thought maybe I would share what I have done to help me out.

First I got a ring with what would have been my baby's birthstone (Aquamarine- March). I wear it everyday and even freaked out when I thought I lost it camping with my son!

I joined a support group for pregnancy/infant loss. I love talking to all the girls on BnB, but there is something even more therapeudic about talking to other women face to face, and I have done a lot of crying in front of them, and some of them cry too.

I participated in a memorial walk/ balloon release last weekend and I am doing another this weekend.

I have a pregnancy loss ribbon that I am wearing this month (Pregnancy/ Infant loss awareness month)

I have a little stuffed bear that I sleep with that makes me feel closer to my baby. I got it from the walk that I did. I know it sounds silly, but it helps!

What is everyone else doing?

That's a lovely idea, thank you
I love the idea of the ring, I want to do that - But having 4 losses would probably look funny having 4 rings
I heard about that yesterday! They are lighting a candle at 7pm Friday 15th October to remember all the losses, im going to do that
I was thinking of a support group - does it help alot?
That's a sweet idea, well with the first Lil Roo, we just seemed to call the baby that. Anyways, when I lost Roo, I saw a little Disney Roo teddy bear which even says Lil Roo on it, and it plays a lullaby
I've written letters which helps Made a CD of songs that remind me or help. Named my losses, as I hate referring to them as 'it' or 'the miscarriage' So they all have names which have meanings.
Me and OH are going to be releasing 4 sky lanterns on friday too I feel like that's letting them go, and I don't think I'm ready to yet x x

You could get a mother's ring where they add the stones for each child. If I am unlucky and have more than one loss, I think that I will do this (I would not want multiple ringes either). Or you could get a necklace or bracelet that you can add charms to for each of your losses.

I really love my support group, it helps me a lot. It is the one place that I can talk about my MC freely and I know that everyone understands and won't judge me. I actually knew two of the women in my support group before I started going, one was a friend from high school and the other was a lady from church. But I think they are a little closer of friends now that we share this. It is like a club that you never asked to join. Plus, many of the women in my support group has fertility issues, so they can relate to TTC problems too.

 

[xxxjessxxx]

You could get a mother's ring where they add the stones for each child. If I am unlucky and have more than one loss, I think that I will do this (I would not want multiple ringes either). Or you could get a necklace or bracelet that you can add charms to for each of your losses.

I really love my support group, it helps me a lot. It is the one place that I can talk about my MC freely and I know that everyone understands and won't judge me. I actually knew two of the women in my support group before I started going, one was a friend from high school and the other was a lady from church. But I think they are a little closer of friends now that we share this. It is like a club that you never asked to join. Plus, many of the women in my support group has fertility issues, so they can relate to TTC problems too.

Ahh that's a great idea - coming to think of it, I remember seeing those in an Argos catalogue, I'll definitely look into that - thank you
That's a fab idea. I will google some near me and see into it. I'm really struggling with it. And OH has just said something too that's just got me all the more downer x x

 

[xxxjessxxx]

Argh! Bloody OH. I'm really upset.
I don't know whether any of you agree with naming your losses?
Anyhow, surely you'd agree that if you've named some of them you just can't not name one of them???
Well my OH thinks so. He doesn't want to name the last miscarriage because supposingly it makes us go worse?!! I've said, I'll grieve no matter what. Naming it actually helps the grieving process. And I find it almost selfish in a way that he's doing it to try benefitting him as he doesn't want to have to deal with it. Yes it's hard. Yes grieving is not what everyone wants to do, but now I feel I'm on my own in grieving for it and he says I have to get on with these things Arrrgh! Then at the end of the text he says 'And I suppose we won't be doing that tonight' <<<< Regarding playing an Xbox game?!?! Does he have any consideration!!
What hurts the most is the fact that when naming the 3rd and I asked him he said 'well, I dont see why this one is of any less importance' which made me feel like he understood. Yet with the 4th he doesn't want to?! Because he doesn't want to accept it. He said 'Are we gonna keep naming all of our miscarriages?' ...Well, it's not like I want to keep having miscarriages, but you can't just stop just because you cant be arsed to go through it. They were still our babies, for however long it doesn't matter. But to you it's 'just another miscarriage' now

Argggh Rant Over!! Sorry girlies