Drazic<3
You got the love <3
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My birth story actually begins nearly a week before my baby was born - as they now think this was really when I started 'Labour' but obviously the early latent stages. That Monday was actually the last time I had a nights sleep too, but ohhhh well 
It's going to be a long one I am afraid!
So, about 8pm that Monday I was watching Holby City (as you do) and started getting little pains which progressively got more regular over the evening. Having had one false labour start, I was cautiously optimistic and was pleased to see them getting more regular over the night and following morning until they got to every 10 mins.... and then faded back out! Had a painfreeish day, then got to night again and bang - pains! Stronger, but still irregular and all over the place. This was basically my week but with the pains getting stronger and stronger, especially at night and I was getting really tired at having hardly any sleep! I had a consultant appointment on the day after my due date and I was registering strong tightenings on the CTG. They were considering induction but as they said I was in labour they wanted to leave it another week 'as I could go at anytime'. By Thursday, I was coping, but needed paracetamol and couldn't sleep at all, spent the whole night in the bath with contractions.
By Friday, I felt I was beginning not to cope (things were heating up, but all day the contractions were between 3-10 mins apart still) - Thankfully - a combination of hypnobirthing, paracetamol and yelling at my staircase (helps, it truly does!) kept me sane but I asked to go to the hospital at about 9pm as I really thought things were on - soooo, went in but was gutted to find I was only 1cm dilated and fully effaced! Though it was this that showed me things were going because a matter of days before I had been totally and utterly unfavourable. So, begrudingly went home being told it could be hours or days.
That evening, I was in a great deal of 'discomfort' - the contractions were really ramping up and I was in so much back labour I couldn't sit down or stand really (not a great position!) I couldn't go to the loo without pain, and all that helped was the shower. I, bravely, cried all night with the pain and told my OH all the usual 'I couldn't do it!!!' blah blah! But I got there by squeezing him with every contraction! The midwife recommended a TENS machine so he went out at 9am to get one and honestly it did help. It didn't take the pain away, but made it easier to cope with. The pain in my back was the kicker - everything else seemed tolerable but as the contractions got to 4-5 mins apart I told OH I needed to go back to the hospital at about 3pm - I could hardly get in the car for the lift and I was TERRIFIED they would send me home as I really couldn't go another night so exhausted! Soooo... for the second day in a row off we went to the hospital! My Dad and Sister took me so I was trying to be quiet so as not to freak her out! I nearly broke the boost button on the TENS and bless, they got me a wheelchair when we got there but there was no way in hell I could get in the thing!
Went up to CDS and wasn't really coping by this stage - had lost my hypno sprit and I was panicking they would send me home and I wouldn't sleep ANOTHER night and I wouldn't be able to hack the pain... they put me on the CTG and I stood up through the contractions! Then they did BP...ect, and finally checked me. I was BRICKING it until the midwife said; "Would I be the best midwife in the world if I told you that you are 5cm dilated?" - I could of snogged her, I was SO happy. This was really it - this pain I had coped with for days so far? This was labour and I was doing it on paracetamol and TENS. Within mins, the pain seemed to almost go. I was on top and I was in active labour and no-one would send me home and I was going to DO THIS! My husband and midwife couldn't believe the transformation. I needed to stay on the CTG and get my first IV for GBS but I got on the ball between contractions and just breathed my way through. At that stage, I really could cope and went for a walk around the hospital. The CTG wasn't 110%, but they were happy to give it a break. I kept getting 'stuck' in hallways and things during contractions and OH was laughing and so was I. We lit a candle in the chapel for Edan and it rocked. OH fed me purple tooty fruities and we laughed between contractions about how excited we are. OH even made me laugh through one, man that hurt
When I went back to CDS, they asked as I had been in labour for so long if I wanted them to break my waters and after a while we agreed. Wow, what a WEIRD feeling. So hot and like you are just weeing and weeing! Whilst she was 'up there' - she gave me a check and said I was nearly 8cm! I could of exploded. I felt so happy and strong, it was amazing. I said I was niggling with the pain and she gave me gas and air. She said I was doing SO well and did not need anything else and really boosted me. There was a staff change after but our next midwife was lovely too so I wasn't worried. Carried on with IV's but also needed extra 'stuff' - called something like Hellmans?! to help replenish my body as I was showing signs of trauma such a high temp - but again they just put this down to the length of time I had been in labour.
Now, you will need to bare with me as details begin to get a little sketchy. At some point, the midwife checked me as I was really ramping up the contractions and wobbling a little. I knew if I was 8-9 I could carry on, and was GUTTED when the midwife said she considered the last measurement to be wrong and I was only 5cm. This is where my resolve bombed. After so long of labouring with no sleep, I just needed a break and a lay down and asked for the Epi. I didn't want pethidene to effect bubs so after gas and air it was the only choice. I felt down and weak but I know my limits and having taken SO long to get this far, and so long with no progress, I knew it was time. This was the next fun and games - cut a long story short, the bones in my back were too close together to get the needle through so after 20 mins (keeping still for that with back labour = utter hard work!) they gave me a spinal block and took another hour and a bit to get in whilst more of my waters drenched the antithtist! The relief after the spinal was amazing though - and I think it was around now they gave me some sytocyn drip due to 'failure to progress' - my natural birth had bombed but I kept myself going thinking I was doing the best thing for baby - turned out it was an utter blessing I had the epi when I did.
After hours of checks for raising BP and white cells and hours of various drips of paracetamol, anti-bs and goodness knows what else, I was wiped. They came and checked me again and I was 8cm but I had an anterior lip, after more sytocyn I eventually got to 10cm and they managed to force the lip over babe to prepare me for pushing. This seemed to take forever and I am totally hazey here - I know something was wrong as I had been having checks and various meds for hours, and they wouldn't take me off the CTG or the BP monitor. This all happened between 12-7am ish - I was so so tired but was too scared to sleep. OH napped on the chair next to the bed.
When it was pushing time, I got a new midwife. By this time, I couldn't feel much of my legs but got up on the bed and pushed when I could feel a strong contraction. By now, she had been getting decelerations for a few hours, but they seemed to be getting more marked. My contractions never got regular and the sytocyn started making them either come on top of each other or not at all for ages. Various people seemed to keep putting their hands in me! The doctor was blase, said I needed to push her out and I tried, with all my might, and hypnobirthing tunes on for an hour and a half. Every contraction her heartbeat crashed and I would wait, scared to breathe to see if it came back up. Then, all went madness really - another consultant came in and checked me and said she was totally disengaged (that will be why I couldn't push her out then arsehole doctor!
) and it would not be safe to attempt an assisted delivery - there were lots of people in the room and they started talking about c-sections and consent forms - I said fine but I was SO scared. My midwife, who until then had been quite hard, started saying about how well I had done and how proud I should be and this wasn't my fault - OH was taking my piercings out and someone started shaving me down there.
All of a sudden, the reality sunk in. They took me off the CTG and I just talked and talked to baby and wished she would be okay. I am not religious but I prayed and prayed for my baby. All my nightmares were coming true - I couldn't do it and she would suffer. I lay there in utter shock, they put stockings on and OH went to get scrubs on. My baby was in danger. They pushed me down the hallway and into theatre, they used some board thing to get me on a tiny bed and there were loads of people in there and machines - my midwife too. They pushed this cover up and put my gown over it and different people spoke about what would happen and what was happening. In all the fear, they were actually lovely. I could hear baby was being listened to again and there was a heartbeat still - still hope. The surgeons kept trying to make me laugh and they made OH go and get a camera - don't get me wrong, they wern't slow or sloppy - they were just efficient and could see I was terrified. OH was white as a sheet.
They said about music and were joking about not having Athrax or kings of leon and everyone was laughing except for me and OH - it was utterly surreal. They put another blind up and I could feel my tummy going numb (they used more epidural, so whilst I couldn't feel pain I could feel all the pressures - It didn't 'hurt' as such, but it was very uncomfortable and felt like all your guts were being torn out!) They told OH to stand up and I felt something huge come out of me and then a weight on my legs. OH just stood their staring open mouthed and eyed. I kept asking if she was okay but no-one replied. Then - the best noise ever - a little cry. OH and a team of people took her to this machine which I could only just see but no-one would reply. I started to feel like I couldn't breathe where the epi had moved up to my chest (I was fine, just couldn't feel my breathing so it made me feel I couldn't breathe IYKWIM) and then I heard her cry more and more and then over came OH holding her. I didn't understand - they had been taking about special baby care for after the section then there was my OH behind me with this whitey white baby in a pink bloody hat. She was trying to latch on him!
I KEPT saying to OH "Is she okay? Is she breathing?" but he was in another world, just staring at her and then looking at me. They carried on with whatever they were doing to me and my midwife started taking pictures of us three. It was SO surreal. FINALLY someone told me she was okay and the anethetist was cooing over her, all as I watched from my upside down angle. My baby was here and safe. I just cried and cried. Then OH took her somewhere and I was left to be sown and cleaned. I just kept thanking all the staff so much and they took me to another room where my midwife took my boob out and got baby latched on in the rugby ball position. I was so shellshocked as my beautiful girl just entirely breastfed herself. It was so amazing, all the shit and fear and finally here she was. So utterly, utterly, entirely perfect. She got 6 on APGAR after 1 min, and 10 after 5 mins.
We have spent a while in the hospital as she has a little jaundice and I have had problems with an unidentified infection and high temps but finally got out yesterday. Bringing her home was the most amazing experience ever - being alone at nights in the hospital with a newborn was hard work, but she is worth every second. I am on utter cloud 9. I love every second of my life, and my little family. It wasn't my beautiful natural birth, but it was worth every single moment, and I would do it again in a second for my perfect little princess.
The reason for the section? My pelvis is too small that I would ever have been able to birth her naturally. Also, she was trying to come out face first. They also cited failure to progress, and said she was in foetal distress due to such a long labour.
So, without further ado (if anyone is still there?!) - Please may I introduce my daughter, Melody Izabelle Jeavons-Golding.
Born at 10.14am on 5th September 2010 weighing 8lbs 1oz. I am happier and more in love than I ever dreamed possible.
ETA - forgot to say - she had merconium (sp?) too - bless her, she was born with poop literally stuck to her back!
It's going to be a long one I am afraid!So, about 8pm that Monday I was watching Holby City (as you do) and started getting little pains which progressively got more regular over the evening. Having had one false labour start, I was cautiously optimistic and was pleased to see them getting more regular over the night and following morning until they got to every 10 mins.... and then faded back out! Had a painfreeish day, then got to night again and bang - pains! Stronger, but still irregular and all over the place. This was basically my week but with the pains getting stronger and stronger, especially at night and I was getting really tired at having hardly any sleep! I had a consultant appointment on the day after my due date and I was registering strong tightenings on the CTG. They were considering induction but as they said I was in labour they wanted to leave it another week 'as I could go at anytime'. By Thursday, I was coping, but needed paracetamol and couldn't sleep at all, spent the whole night in the bath with contractions.
By Friday, I felt I was beginning not to cope (things were heating up, but all day the contractions were between 3-10 mins apart still) - Thankfully - a combination of hypnobirthing, paracetamol and yelling at my staircase (helps, it truly does!) kept me sane but I asked to go to the hospital at about 9pm as I really thought things were on - soooo, went in but was gutted to find I was only 1cm dilated and fully effaced! Though it was this that showed me things were going because a matter of days before I had been totally and utterly unfavourable. So, begrudingly went home being told it could be hours or days.
That evening, I was in a great deal of 'discomfort' - the contractions were really ramping up and I was in so much back labour I couldn't sit down or stand really (not a great position!) I couldn't go to the loo without pain, and all that helped was the shower. I, bravely, cried all night with the pain and told my OH all the usual 'I couldn't do it!!!' blah blah! But I got there by squeezing him with every contraction! The midwife recommended a TENS machine so he went out at 9am to get one and honestly it did help. It didn't take the pain away, but made it easier to cope with. The pain in my back was the kicker - everything else seemed tolerable but as the contractions got to 4-5 mins apart I told OH I needed to go back to the hospital at about 3pm - I could hardly get in the car for the lift and I was TERRIFIED they would send me home as I really couldn't go another night so exhausted! Soooo... for the second day in a row off we went to the hospital! My Dad and Sister took me so I was trying to be quiet so as not to freak her out! I nearly broke the boost button on the TENS
and bless, they got me a wheelchair when we got there but there was no way in hell I could get in the thing!Went up to CDS and wasn't really coping by this stage - had lost my hypno sprit and I was panicking they would send me home and I wouldn't sleep ANOTHER night and I wouldn't be able to hack the pain... they put me on the CTG and I stood up through the contractions! Then they did BP...ect, and finally checked me. I was BRICKING it until the midwife said; "Would I be the best midwife in the world if I told you that you are 5cm dilated?" - I could of snogged her, I was SO happy. This was really it - this pain I had coped with for days so far? This was labour and I was doing it on paracetamol and TENS. Within mins, the pain seemed to almost go. I was on top and I was in active labour and no-one would send me home and I was going to DO THIS! My husband and midwife couldn't believe the transformation. I needed to stay on the CTG and get my first IV for GBS but I got on the ball between contractions and just breathed my way through. At that stage, I really could cope and went for a walk around the hospital. The CTG wasn't 110%, but they were happy to give it a break. I kept getting 'stuck' in hallways and things during contractions and OH was laughing and so was I. We lit a candle in the chapel for Edan and it rocked. OH fed me purple tooty fruities and we laughed between contractions about how excited we are. OH even made me laugh through one, man that hurt
When I went back to CDS, they asked as I had been in labour for so long if I wanted them to break my waters and after a while we agreed. Wow, what a WEIRD feeling. So hot and like you are just weeing and weeing! Whilst she was 'up there'
- she gave me a check and said I was nearly 8cm! I could of exploded. I felt so happy and strong, it was amazing. I said I was niggling with the pain and she gave me gas and air. She said I was doing SO well and did not need anything else and really boosted me. There was a staff change after but our next midwife was lovely too so I wasn't worried. Carried on with IV's but also needed extra 'stuff' - called something like Hellmans?! to help replenish my body as I was showing signs of trauma such a high temp - but again they just put this down to the length of time I had been in labour. Now, you will need to bare with me as details begin to get a little sketchy. At some point, the midwife checked me as I was really ramping up the contractions and wobbling a little. I knew if I was 8-9 I could carry on, and was GUTTED when the midwife said she considered the last measurement to be wrong and I was only 5cm. This is where my resolve bombed. After so long of labouring with no sleep, I just needed a break and a lay down and asked for the Epi. I didn't want pethidene to effect bubs so after gas and air it was the only choice. I felt down and weak but I know my limits and having taken SO long to get this far, and so long with no progress, I knew it was time. This was the next fun and games - cut a long story short, the bones in my back were too close together to get the needle through so after 20 mins (keeping still for that with back labour = utter hard work!) they gave me a spinal block and took another hour and a bit to get in whilst more of my waters drenched the antithtist! The relief after the spinal was amazing though - and I think it was around now they gave me some sytocyn drip due to 'failure to progress' - my natural birth had bombed but I kept myself going thinking I was doing the best thing for baby - turned out it was an utter blessing I had the epi when I did.
After hours of checks for raising BP and white cells and hours of various drips of paracetamol, anti-bs and goodness knows what else, I was wiped. They came and checked me again and I was 8cm but I had an anterior lip, after more sytocyn I eventually got to 10cm and they managed to force the lip over babe to prepare me for pushing. This seemed to take forever and I am totally hazey here - I know something was wrong as I had been having checks and various meds for hours, and they wouldn't take me off the CTG or the BP monitor. This all happened between 12-7am ish - I was so so tired but was too scared to sleep. OH napped on the chair next to the bed.
When it was pushing time, I got a new midwife. By this time, I couldn't feel much of my legs but got up on the bed and pushed when I could feel a strong contraction. By now, she had been getting decelerations for a few hours, but they seemed to be getting more marked. My contractions never got regular and the sytocyn started making them either come on top of each other or not at all for ages. Various people seemed to keep putting their hands in me! The doctor was blase, said I needed to push her out and I tried, with all my might, and hypnobirthing tunes on for an hour and a half. Every contraction her heartbeat crashed and I would wait, scared to breathe to see if it came back up. Then, all went madness really - another consultant came in and checked me and said she was totally disengaged (that will be why I couldn't push her out then arsehole doctor!
) and it would not be safe to attempt an assisted delivery - there were lots of people in the room and they started talking about c-sections and consent forms - I said fine but I was SO scared. My midwife, who until then had been quite hard, started saying about how well I had done and how proud I should be and this wasn't my fault - OH was taking my piercings out and someone started shaving me down there. All of a sudden, the reality sunk in. They took me off the CTG and I just talked and talked to baby and wished she would be okay. I am not religious but I prayed and prayed for my baby. All my nightmares were coming true - I couldn't do it and she would suffer. I lay there in utter shock, they put stockings on and OH went to get scrubs on. My baby was in danger. They pushed me down the hallway and into theatre, they used some board thing to get me on a tiny bed and there were loads of people in there and machines - my midwife too. They pushed this cover up and put my gown over it and different people spoke about what would happen and what was happening. In all the fear, they were actually lovely. I could hear baby was being listened to again and there was a heartbeat still - still hope. The surgeons kept trying to make me laugh and they made OH go and get a camera - don't get me wrong, they wern't slow or sloppy - they were just efficient and could see I was terrified. OH was white as a sheet.
They said about music and were joking about not having Athrax or kings of leon and everyone was laughing except for me and OH - it was utterly surreal. They put another blind up and I could feel my tummy going numb (they used more epidural, so whilst I couldn't feel pain I could feel all the pressures - It didn't 'hurt' as such, but it was very uncomfortable and felt like all your guts were being torn out!) They told OH to stand up and I felt something huge come out of me and then a weight on my legs. OH just stood their staring open mouthed and eyed. I kept asking if she was okay but no-one replied. Then - the best noise ever - a little cry. OH and a team of people took her to this machine which I could only just see but no-one would reply. I started to feel like I couldn't breathe where the epi had moved up to my chest (I was fine, just couldn't feel my breathing so it made me feel I couldn't breathe IYKWIM) and then I heard her cry more and more and then over came OH holding her. I didn't understand - they had been taking about special baby care for after the section then there was my OH behind me with this whitey white baby in a pink bloody hat. She was trying to latch on him!
I KEPT saying to OH "Is she okay? Is she breathing?" but he was in another world, just staring at her and then looking at me. They carried on with whatever they were doing to me and my midwife started taking pictures of us three. It was SO surreal. FINALLY someone told me she was okay and the anethetist was cooing over her, all as I watched from my upside down angle. My baby was here and safe. I just cried and cried. Then OH took her somewhere and I was left to be sown and cleaned. I just kept thanking all the staff so much and they took me to another room where my midwife took my boob out and got baby latched on in the rugby ball position. I was so shellshocked as my beautiful girl just entirely breastfed herself. It was so amazing, all the shit and fear and finally here she was. So utterly, utterly, entirely perfect. She got 6 on APGAR after 1 min, and 10 after 5 mins.
We have spent a while in the hospital as she has a little jaundice and I have had problems with an unidentified infection and high temps but finally got out yesterday. Bringing her home was the most amazing experience ever - being alone at nights in the hospital with a newborn was hard work, but she is worth every second. I am on utter cloud 9. I love every second of my life, and my little family. It wasn't my beautiful natural birth, but it was worth every single moment, and I would do it again in a second for my perfect little princess.
The reason for the section? My pelvis is too small that I would ever have been able to birth her naturally. Also, she was trying to come out face first. They also cited failure to progress, and said she was in foetal distress due to such a long labour.
So, without further ado (if anyone is still there?!) - Please may I introduce my daughter, Melody Izabelle Jeavons-Golding.
Born at 10.14am on 5th September 2010 weighing 8lbs 1oz. I am happier and more in love than I ever dreamed possible.
ETA - forgot to say - she had merconium (sp?) too - bless her, she was born with poop literally stuck to her back!
lol
What a voyage you have been on to get to this point - you should be eternally proud of yourself for all that you have managed to overcome. And I love that first pic of the three of you - he looks like the proudest daddy in the whole wide world! xxx
baby and you are healthy...all that matters
