The Fifty Shades Debate! **May contain spoilers**

[Laura2919]

What do you think?


Apparently women think that Ana is a victim and it's showing society that it is ok for men to degrade women in such a way.

On the other hand a fair few think that it's a love story about changing and helping a messed up man and it's showing society that love comes in many forms and you've got to stand up for what you believe in..


Have you read the books? what did you think?

 

[isabelsmummy]

Im slightly on the fence about this one! Ive ony read the first book and I have to say I felt a bit uncomfortable in places. Ana was portrayed as being so scared with the punihment aspect of it - and I dont think any woman should do something like that if they are not totally comfortable with itr - just for the sake of a man - no matter how much you love them. His jealousy and mood swings made me feel a bit uneasy too - I just think if my daughter was in a relationship with a man who wanted her to dress a certain way, eat a certain way, get jealous when she speaks to male friends, controls her so much with money and power etc alarm bells would seriously be ringing for me and I would be encouraging her to get away from his as fast as she could.

I am hoping young girls arent picking up this book due to the hype and thinking that this is a healthy relationship - because in my opinion its really not.

x

 

[Laura2919]

But if you continued to read the other two it might make sense. It changes through book two and book three. Maybe book one does come across like that but if you continue to read it you'd understand more.

 

[isabelsmummy]

Yeah, I hope so! I remember peole saying a similar thing to Edward/Bella in Twighlight - that it was unhealthy etc and I never agreed with them - I just thought it was pure love - but Ana/Christian goes waaaayyy beyong Edward/Bella in my opinion. Im hoping as I read the next books it will all become clear why he is the way he is - but judging solely on the first book - I think its not relationship I would like to be in. xx

 

[Laura2919]

Yeah I definitely agree there. Edward and Bella aren't quite like Ana and Christian. Is it wrong for people to use their imagination to create a love story though?

 

[isabelsmummy]

Definatly not - I think its all a matter of personal opinion and taste when reading it. There was points in the book where I was really enjoying the love story between them - I loved the way he worried about her, and would turn up at her house in a panic if he thought she was upset/mad at him etc I thought that was really sweet.

Maybe its because I am not tuned in to the BDSM lifestyle, but the idea of her not being able to look him in the eye, being his sexual toy for whatever he wanted to do with her, being punished - even though she voiced to him so many times that she didnt enjoy the spanking and was only doing it for him, I felt like if he really cared for her, he would be able to live a life without inflicting that kind of pain onto her. When the book ended - I wanted him to chase after her, telling her he is willing to continue without that aspect - obviously still use the play room and the toys etc - just not hurt her. So I was obviously involed in the love story too, and that bit I did enjoy. I was definatly happy when he said she only had to be sub in the playroom and not in everyday life.
I just dont feel a healthy love story should have contracts and NDAs lol

 

[Laura2919]

It's not the same in the 2nd and 3rd books, thats why I tell people to read it with an open mind lol

 

[AP]

I started to enjoy the whole thing by the time i got to the second book.

By the time I got to the third book however, I genuinely thought this woman was a total prat for hanging around with this controlling man. I mean, was she even allowed to pee in private? There was even a point in the book where they were DTD and she was crying, telling him to stop and he wouldnt. I found that really disturbing to read!
I think it was at this point, I hated the whole thing. I half expected his manhood to snap off at some point. Oh my.

Yes, Ana made him see the light, yes she fixed him. But shes under control herself and blinded to it.

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

Personally i cannot stand it, it made me cringe, there were scenes where i just thought "REALLY! .... get a grip" (ana mostly lol) but its true what they say and Sex does sell, i suppose it depends what you are usually reading- to how bad you will find this, iykwim ? i am much more into historical fiction and classics, then chick lit etc so when i pick up a book like this i just spend the whole time baffled by the terrible writing. As for the love story, i'm still trying to find it. In many aspects its a bit like Twilight, in that the majority seem to like it even though it a very poorly written book. Ironic then maybe because it is twilight fan fiction (or was, at least)

will say though, i DID read Twilight and surprisingly enjoyed it lol. This is obviously not my cuppa, also the tampon scene ?! lol

 

[Mummy Bean]

I hated the first book because:
1) it put a real bad light on anyone who may enjoy the BDSM lifestyle.
2) it showed a really unhealthy relationship to be acceptable
3) no one on this planet could have that much sex and still walk!
4) it did kinda of remind of the bella/edward thing with a poor innocent young girl and her whirlwind apperent love story!

i have just finished the second book and have to say it was much better but i just dont understand the point of the book...for those who want a good erotica book...the story line is just depressing, it too fucked up for those who want a love story, and it got to much sex for anyone wanting some good ficton.

overall it way to overated!!

 

[Mummy Bean]

also a thing that really bugged me is what is Ana problem...when me n OH started dating we both had history like most ppl...dosent mean i bloddy pestered him all the time to tell me about it...that takes time....i certain wouldnt be going on at some one who had been abused...how bloody insenstive is she. (if she were real!)

 

[isabelsmummy]

I worry about this giving people hope that you can change an abuser. Im not saying Christian Grey abuses Ana, thats a matter of opinion - but he has some SERIOUS issues - I hope young girls dont take this and interpret it into that sense xx

 

[omfgski]

.

 

[Tasha]

I can see both sides of this. Although it did surprise me how many women really fell for Christian/

 

[twinkle1975]

Hmm - well the poor writing drove me mad - come on woman think of some more metaphors!!

Beyond that I struggled with it in two totally different ways.

1) I've been in a controlling relationship before - he hated me going out & if I begged enough to be let out he would drop me off at the pub & wait outside in the car. If I didn't come out after an hour he'd come in & get me etc etc. So I really struggle with that side of the story - like other's have said I want to shake her & slap him

2) Some may say bizarrely but DH & I do enjoy a bit of a BDSM relationship from time to time & the thing I noticed in the story is actually that Ana seems to say no a lot! I agree that relationships shouldn't have contracts etc but the number of things she refuses to do far outweighs the things she will do!

 

[lhancock90]

It was based on Twilight as a fan fiction that she eventually turned into her own novel,

Christian made me uncomfortable, the way he controlled her with money, power, sex and guilt? It really annoyed and irritated me and i personally didn't find it romantic at all..

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Christian would actually drive me insane!

 

[Laura2919]

Christian would provide me with one massive challenge. I'd definitely be up for it

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I enjoyed it for what it was. A story. I think people are overanalyzing it WAY too much.

 

[AP]

I wanted his willy to fall off or something, it was all too happy go lucky