yeah, im good i guess,my grandad still fighting away altough he is loosing hope, he cant be fixed so its just a matter of waiting

but tonight he said to my mam, im going to die, i want to go with a bang....1 drink will kill him,he will hemmorage and he knows this, but he said to my mam that he is giving up and soon ( he didnt say when) he will have a drink,with my mam and he will enjoy himself, he will drink whisky,have a few cigars and listen to irish music....because he knows, once he has a sip of alcohol,he will be dead within 24 hours....my mam wants to spend his last day with him and get drunk with him...that is his wish...he didnt say when he wants to do this, when he is ready i guess...one of the hardest conversations i have ever had to have with my mam

i dont think she could handle watching him hemmorage like that, she couldnt handle the blood last time, its breaking her heart knowing he is dying and she cant help, and its breaking my heart to watch it all

life can be so cruel sometimes....and my OH was let go

there goes christmas out the window...were still ttc and he said he will find another job...just nothing seems to be going right for me lately, a bit of a hard time

xxxxx