The LTTTC thread for everyone.

[HappyAuntie]

I think that a lot of people just don't understand why in the world I would want 4 or more children, so that puts me and the other person both at a loss to even start with. It's not something that I can explain to someone. I have children now, so there is zero understanding coming my way. Most people assume that it's not a big deal if I don't have more because they don't want anymore.

True....

Infertility just SUCKS!!!! That's all anyone really needs to understand!!

 

[Milty]

I also get the why bother trying for so long

They don't understand how I can be sane or not just loose hope ect

Kind of the why go on trying ...don't torture yourself thing

 

[Milty]

By the way HA I didn't know you had a polyp

 

[HappyAuntie]

By the way HA I didn't know you had a polyp

Yeah, neither did I.

At our last post-cycle consult, I asked for some tests to be redone (thyroid and celiac) because it had been almost two years since they were last done. Dr agreed that was a good idea. I also asked if hysteroscopy was necessary at this point, after two failed transfers (three if you count the mc on the first IVF), and he said not unless something shows up on the saline sonogram (SIS), but let's redo the SIS since it's been about 16 months since the last one and they like those no more than 18 months old prior to a transfer. The last one was done last spring when I was having post-coital spotting, and nothing showed up. So we redid the SIS, and lo and behold there was something there. Went in for hysteroscopy two days later and there was a 1cm polyp in my uterus and several small ones in my cervix. He says it's not likely they were causing the failures because they weren't in a place where embryos like to implant. But what frustrates me is that I've had post-coital bleeding for several months now and I never thought to say anything about it because nothing turned up the last time - that turned into a snipe hunt and the spotting eventually stopped, so I figured this was just my new normal after all the drugs and procedures I've had done. Even though he says it's not likely they were causing a problem with implantation, there's a part of my brain that I can't shut off that's telling me maybe it was and I should have spoken up about the spotting, maybe the last two transfers failed because I didn't tell them about the spotting.... And as much as I hate feeling hopeful, there's a part of me that hopes maybe this cycle will work now that the polyps are gone....

 

[H0pefulagain]

Ok Hopeful isn't it almost midnight in MO?

It probably was. I rarely get to sleep before midnight. Lately, I rarely can sleep past 5am. I'm getting crankier by the day!

 

[crystal443]

Morning everyone

Peace- How are things going?Are you adjusting to your meds yet?

HA- will you have your protocol changes for this coming IVF cycle?

Milty- Good morning Hope all is well

Bmom- Good morning!! Hope things are well with you

Morning H0peful,Suki,Liz and everyone else

 

[peacebaby]

Crystal, its 1:30am, I'm wide awake...will not come to me! Hate insomnia!

I'm also worried about what AF will be like after 2 weeks of clexane. I'll be on progesterone as well which usually makes AF heavier anyway so just imagine this combo I'm thinking of contacting my doctor to ask about this. On the plus side I now have excellent blood flow and haven't had a Raynaud's episode and since the intralipid drip I had, no itchy skin and rash flares, touchwood. Hope it stays this way. How is it going for you?

Have you tested?

Ladies, reading the discussions I'm nodding my head in agreement with almost every post. I'm so glad that we have this forum to share our thoughts, honestly just knowing that someone else feels the same way or is going through a similar thought process validates so many issues for me.

 

[peacebaby]

Hi beautiful ladies

I don't have facebook I did at one point but I was knowing wayyyyyyy to many personal details about non-friends lives, so I ditched it! Just not my thing I guess.

For the girls that were helping me with feedback on dd-went to the doctor today, it is indeed petechia (sp?!) and they advised if it spreads or we see it in other areas to go to the hospital. They are doing blood tests and trying to speed up her rheumatologist referral. So hopefully answers are around the corner!

Hope everyone is doing well, today was my first day back to work and I couldn't sleep last night so I was on 3 hours sleep all day hoping to get some zzzzzz's tonight!

to everyone

Jen nice to know I'm not the only one who doesn't have fb

Its great that your DD is getting tested. I was just reading about the overlap between autoimmune conditions and chronic fatigue syndrome, it made me think of her. Both syndromes affect quality of life tremendously so I hope they can find the root of her illness and get her on the right meds.
keeping fingers crossed for your next scan xxx

 

[readyformore]

Ladies, reading the discussions I'm nodding my head in agreement with almost every post. I'm so glad that we have this forum to share our thoughts, honestly just knowing that someone else feels the same way or is going through a similar thought process validates so many issues for me.

I have told my husband that infertility and failed fertility treatments make me feel like I'm on my own private island. There is nobody I know that can really relate to this desire and this repeated failure.

I'm glad I have you guys for company. It certainly makes it less lonely.

 

[crystal443]

Ready-I agree, this thread has kept me sane at times I'm sure of it

Jen- I missed your post but was wondering how your DD got on, so glad they got to see the rash and as Peace said whatever she has it will affect her life tremendously but she can learn to keep things under control with meds and learn to live with it rather then it dictate how she lives So glad she's closer to an answer though

Peace- I mentioned the Clexane and baby aspirin to DH last night and told him I fear AF may look like a crime scene I have tested and its still a very very faint line so it could go either way. I don't normally start having a rise in HCG until I'm due for AF so I'm not going to test until Sun if AF doesn't show by then. If I got a clear + today I will stress so badly that it won't help anything anyway. At least if my temps naturally drop I know AF is coming and its just easier to get on with things

Insomnia is the worst Nothing seems to work either and I wasn't willing to add sleep aids to the mix of what I already take

 

[Milty]

Hi guys

Have you guys tried melatonin? It's natural

 

[Milty]

Ready: what do you think of the HCG diet?

 

[HappyAuntie]

HA- will you have your protocol changes for this coming IVF cycle?

Yep.

In the past I've been on a short antagonist protocol - no down-reg, start stims on cd3, add ganirelix when the follies reach a certain size, trigger when ready. This time I'm on a long estrogen priming antagonist protocol. DH and I both took 10 days of antibiotics starting on cd1, then I used OPKs to watch for the LH surge (it'll be tomorrow). At 10dpo I start estrace, at 11dpo I add ganirelix, at 14dpo I stop the ganirelix (but keep the estrace going) and wait for AF. Then on cd2 I stop the estrace and go in for baseline bloodwork and u/s, start stims on cd3, add ganirelix when the follies reach a certain size, trigger when ready.

The change has me a little anxious because a) I'm an excessive worrier and b) I've always responded well to the old protocol and have had a good blast rate (I just haven't gotten pg with a sticky), and what if I don't respond as well to the new protocol? On the other hand, what if I respond better? I just don't like not knowing what's going to happen... which pretty much makes me a certifiably crazy infertile woman, since infertility means NEVER knowing what to expect!!

 

[HappyAuntie]

Ladies, reading the discussions I'm nodding my head in agreement with almost every post. I'm so glad that we have this forum to share our thoughts, honestly just knowing that someone else feels the same way or is going through a similar thought process validates so many issues for me.

I have told my husband that infertility and failed fertility treatments make me feel like I'm on my own private island. There is nobody I know that can really relate to this desire and this repeated failure.

I'm glad I have you guys for company. It certainly makes it less lonely.

Yes, yes, yes. All this. Ditto.

 

[Jennifer01]

Hi everyone!

A bit stressed tbh, dd seems to be getting a few more petechiae spots on her arm now, I'm going to call the doctor in the morning to see if I should be taking her to the hospital. She seems to be feeling ok but I know that rash is a bad sign.

Milty dd and I have both taken melatonin. We get ones that can be dissolved under the tongue do they are quick acting, and work well! Dd says they give her weird dreams but I haven't really noticed a difference.

I really want to lie and say I am great but I really am struggling a bit. I'm trying to enjoy every day that goes by that I'm pg but I guess the struggle to get here has messed with my head and made me terrified that my scan will still show an empty sac. Less than a week to go (next Wednesday afternoon) and hopefully I will see a bub and be able to relax. I work with about 18 people in total, 1 is preggo and 2 are trying right now-and prob will be preggo ASAP. So it's the talk constantly at work where I just stay clammed up in the corner! Believe me I appreciate where I am I'm just so scared. I know you ladies will understand.

Crystal have you tested again or are you waiting? I'm sorry, my brains are oatmeal!

 

[Milty]

HA if you were fertile you wouldnt be able to control everything either...something's are just out of our control

 

[HappyAuntie]

HA if you were fertile you wouldnt be able to control everything either...something's are just out of our control

True, but at least I would have a reasonable expectation of an eventual positive outcome - instead it's just a giant, really expensive crapshoot....

 

[Milty]

Now just relax and let the process happen

 

[Milty]

Oh you will get your BFP too just in a different unpredictable more expensive way than them

Either way it's unpredictable and uncontrolable

 

[HappyAuntie]

I'm working at it - massage Monday, counseling today, drugs every day , yoga tomorrow....

I do have faith that my dr knows what he's doing and he wouldn't be making this switch if he thought it would be bad... I try to keep reminding myself of that.