The LTTTC thread for everyone.

[Milty]

That is exactly it Ready...I'm even laying in bed dreading sleep

 

[crystal443]

Milty- Not sure who said it before me but I only get pregnancy dreams when I'm pregnant as well and I got alot of pregnancy related dreams right before I got pregnant and during the failed IVF, I thought it was nature's cruel joke after a failed IVF but it wasn't so hang in there

Jen- I think its the mistrust in our body that brings that fear I know your scan will be fine

Peace- We all think we can't do IVF but the strange thing is once your in the thick of things it really isn't so bad, the dissapointment can be much greater but the reward can be so great as well How are you doing today?

Bmom- Good Morning lovely It is the weekend here!!!! ITS FRIDAY!!!

HA-I agree with LTTTCers feeling guilty if they don't enjoy every second of pregnancy and then newborn etc. its just not fun sometimes and I can remember thinking I must have been crazy to want a baby with DD and DS when they were up all night sick or crying. My biggest pet peeve is when someone says enjoy every moment How can you enjoy being up 23hours for a week straight or being elbow deep in poop and sick? That's ridiculous, why can't women be honest and say its really fun sometimes and its reallly really tough sometimes too. I always feel bad for parents that think they have to love every moment of something that can be so tough

Ready- good morning, have your kids gone back to school yet?

 

[readyformore]

HA-I agree with LTTTCers feeling guilty if they don't enjoy every second of pregnancy and then newborn etc. its just not fun sometimes and I can remember thinking I must have been crazy to want a baby with DD and DS when they were up all night sick or crying. My biggest pet peeve is when someone says enjoy every moment How can you enjoy being up 23hours for a week straight or being elbow deep in poop and sick? That's ridiculous, why can't women be honest and say its really fun sometimes and its reallly really tough sometimes too. I always feel bad for parents that think they have to love every moment of something that can be so tough

Ready- good morning, have your kids gone back to school yet?

I agree with that completely.
I think infertility sets people up for unrealistic expectations. They get through the infertility by telling themselves how appreciative they will be of the pregnancy and the baby. "I won't ever complain about morning sickness," "I won't mind getting up with a colicky baby." Then they have those moments where it's too much, they feel those negative thoughts that EVERYONE feels, and then feel guilty about it. I understand why people say those things, but it really is setting a person up for unrealistic expectations. I almost wonder if those that just randomly fall pregnant are somehow better able to cope with pregnancy/parenting because they can express their negativity and then not feel so guilty about it because they haven't talked themselves into it for years. Pregnancy is hard and babies are hard too.

We discuss baby soothing techniques each time a baby is discharged. I always go through the basics: feeding, burping, diapering, changing scenery, swing, swaddle, pacifier, etc; then I get into the "Oh crap my baby just won't shut up" moments. I tell everyone to set the inconsolable baby in a safe place like a crib and leave the room. Go outside, make a phone call to an understanding friend, etc. But, just don't ever shake the baby. Now most couples with their first baby look at me like I'm crazy. Understandably, they've never had a baby and have no idea how not sleeping for weeks on end and having a crying baby can make you insane. The couples that already have kids just nod and say, "Ok."
But, I once had a couple that had been through infertility and they said to me, "Well, we've worked really hard for this baby. We will appreciate every moment of his babyhood. You don't have to worry about us. You probably worry about people like us the least." Actually, it's few and far between that hurt a newborn, but I think that the infertiles are almost less prepared for their own coping. They may have had years to read about how to soothe a colicky child, but when it happens, I hope that they have enough courage to call a friend and ask for help. It might be harder because it's the same friends that have heard the infertile talk about how they will never complain. I think it can be a bit like stuffing your foot in your mouth, eating crow, whatever you want to call it.


Yes, my kids are back in school. I'm still adjusting but they are doing fine.

 

[crystal443]

Ready-so so true

 

[Milty]

Ok I want to bring something up because I think it will help some of you guys.

I havnt done IVF or IUI or even meds like Peace or Crystal but I want you guys to see my perspective on it.

It never occurred to me you might look at those pregnancies or babies differently until you guys brought it up.

I'm not sure I'm saying this the right way but I will try. These babies are conceived just like any other as in the sperm fertilized the egg. You may or may not have conceived without the help or it may have been earlier but they are no different. Yes intervention occurred but it did to bring forth life.

When I was pg I went into labor the first time 3 months early. the docs intervened and saved my son. Had I not had that done he would not be here. The same with mothers who have other complications have intervention.

Anyway I complain at times and am just like any other mother and I hunk you guys should be too. What difference does it make when the medical intervention came? None I tell you


Also I'd like to add my opinion weighs more since I don't like non natural things and I still think this way.

 

[crystal443]

Milty- I always love hearing your outlook on things

 

[crystal443]

I don't want to jinx anything so I am quietly saying your chart is looking very pretty Have you looked into the HCG diet anymore? Good god woman when I saw the 500 calories a day I thought the poor cat wouldn't be safe I'd be so hungry

 

[Jennifer01]

I don't want to jinx anything so I am quietly saying your chart is looking very pretty Have you looked into the HCG diet anymore? Good god woman when I saw the 500 calories a day I thought the poor cat wouldn't be safe I'd be so hungry

 

[Milty]

Well the HCG works just like when your pg and uses up stored fat for extra calories so it's really like you eat 500 and you use up around 2000. That's how your not hungry and don't loose muscle.

Well I broke down and even though I'm only 9dpo I tested. Pretty sure a BFN it did have a dot of pink but not in the second line spot so that's why I say pretty sure. I dont now how I get weird test

 

[Jennifer01]

All of this is ringing so true to me!!! Really I feel shitty a good chunk of the time but do feel like complaining isn't an option because isn't this what I wanted and shouldn't I just shut up and be happy?! When I really sat down to think about it tonight I think we actually have MORE reason to complain than the "spontaneous" pregnant ladies. After all, didn't we go through hell and back to get here in the first place? Aren't we more likely to already feel like crap because of meds, ivf, etc even before the pregnancy?? Shouldn't everybody carry us around on their shoulders our entire pregnancies because of what we have been through? Ok that one was a bit much but you get my point!

Happy-you mentioned the anti-depressants, I have been on a low level anti anxiety for about 5 months now. I don't know that it helped me conceive but it didn't hurt. My doc says that depression and anxiety are more harmful to mom and baby than the meds are. I am supposed to wean off in the last month of pg to prevent any dependence but only if I'm feeling good. Just for what it's worth.

Hello and big to everyone

 

[crystal443]

Milty- ooohhhhhh that sounds interesting def don't be discouraged yet 9 DPO is super early, I was reading online not long ago that early BFPs are not as common as we think and that alot women only get a faint BFP when their AF is due It takes 6-10 days for implantaion to occur sometimes up to 12 days and then a few days for the HCG to reach the pee So really by 14 DPO there's not much there plus it takes time for it double keep going!! Its looking promising for you

Jen- I agree 100% if we've had to put up with all this crap month in and month out we deserve a good whine now and then I have no problem with pregnant women saying their miserable in general, if your feeling sh*t please don't be afraid to say it I have no problems with it..early pregnancy is a b*tch at times That won't ruin the Festivus atmosphere

My DS is going on Air Cadet camp this weekend and DD is working tonight until 10:30 I think a date night with hubby is order

 

[readyformore]

Ok I want to bring something up because I think it will help some of you guys.

I havnt done IVF or IUI or even meds like Peace or Crystal but I want you guys to see my perspective on it.

It never occurred to me you might look at those pregnancies or babies differently until you guys brought it up.

I'm not sure I'm saying this the right way but I will try. These babies are conceived just like any other as in the sperm fertilized the egg. You may or may not have conceived without the help or it may have been earlier but they are no different. Yes intervention occurred but it did to bring forth life.

When I was pg I went into labor the first time 3 months early. the docs intervened and saved my son. Had I not had that done he would not be here. The same with mothers who have other complications have intervention.

Anyway I complain at times and am just like any other mother and I hunk you guys should be too. What difference does it make when the medical intervention came? None I tell you


Also I'd like to add my opinion weighs more since I don't like non natural things and I still think this way.

Yep, they are all the same. It really doesn't make any difference at all. I have one with infertility and drugs and two without. It makes no difference. They are all loved and wanted just the same. And they all have the ability to annoy me and irritate me just the same.

 

[readyformore]

Jen- I love the visual of you being carried around.
I agree with Crystal, if you need to complain just do it. I don't see what the big deal is. It doesn't mean that you are any less pleased with your pregnancy if you aren't happy about barfing into a toilet 20 times a day.
If all you did was rattle on about how perfect the pregnancy was, we wouldn't believe you anyway.........plus you'd annoy us. So you may as well be straightforward.


The hcg diet. It's only 500 calories and people think it's the hcg that's making them loose weight? It just doesn't make sense to me. How can anything pregnancy related make you loose weight? I blew up like a whale, (there you go Jen, more realism.......all 55 lovely flabby pounds of it ) I don't see how you can get smaller with it. It has to be the calorie restriction. And it just doesn't sound like a good idea. Personally, I like to eat, not starve and yeah, my cat would probably run away from me too.

 

[Milty]

I had a term I used when pg...happily miserable

 

[Jennifer01]

Oh my thank goodness for you girls!!!!
Yes in honesty I'm exhausted and my pants are tight already. So there's the truth

Milty when are you going to test again? Seems like you got a faulty test maybe? A friend of mine got a faulty opk today, honestly do these manufacturers have any idea who they are screwing with when they mess up these tests?!

 

[Milty]

Oh I don't have any more test ...I don't keep them on hand.

I wish I could post a pic so you could see my pink dot. I have had several faulty test and they are supposed to be rare I don't even test that often.

 

[H0pefulagain]

Thank you ladies, for sharing with brutal honesty. It helps me put things into perspective as some of yall have been through so much more than I have.

I've been fighting mild depression due to not being able to get pregnant and when we do, I just miscarry. I'm scared to hope but even more scared not to. Then I fight guilt over not being able to just feel fulfilled with the children we do have as so many are so quick to inform me that I should be.

Today a customer was in the store and figured out a couple of our children were my children (it's a family business). He went on and on singing their praises, going on about their work ethic, how respectful they were, what big hearts they have, and how good they were to his aging mother. At the end of it, he told me I should have another dozen as young adults like them are so rare. I burst into tears. I felt so foolish and felt I owed him an explanation, but just couldn't do it. I thanked him and went and bawled like a baby in the office for a bit. I was feeling sorry for myself until I began to read through some of your posts.

Thank you...truly, thank you, ladies.

 

[Milty]

 

[alison29]

Jen don't feel bad at all. You are not alone my SIL is 15 wks and still feels miserable she isa school teacher poor thing. She takes the zofran and then is constipated misery! BOTh my SILS are pg both with girls i think they make yousicker thenboys.

 

[Milty]

Oh I don't know about that....my sweet little boy had me vomitting 10 times a day