The LTTTC thread for everyone.

[HappyAuntie]

LL

You're right Hopeful we're fortunate to have lots of lovely ladies here but some of the general threads on the main board can get pretty rough.

And thus the reason I do not venture away from this thread. I may read them sometimes but don't participate.

Every once in a while I'll go read other threads and sometimes comment, but only in the 35+, LTTTC, and AC sections. But today there were two threads out in 35+ that made me want to bash my head into the wall just like this dude: One is a lady upset because her first month of clomid didn't work - why isn't it working?!! And the other is entering her 2nd cycle ttc and hoping she won't obsess so badly like she did in the first cycle.... Lest any mods read this and think I'm bashing them, I'm not... it's just hard for me to remember what it was like to be upset that my first cycle failed.... I do remember what it was like to think my first IUI would work - why on earth wouldn't it work?! I was so confident that I took my barely-used sharps container into the office to get rid of it, because why would I need it after that? So yeah, reading those threads just remind me of how damn long we've been at this... which is why I stick to a few trusted safe spaces.

H0peful- Its amazing with all these hormones flying around we all get along so well, I think because we've all been through so much we're very mindful of others feelings and if we do get a BFP it really is a big deal

WSS!

Although I'm still jealous of HA's ovaries I told DH how many eggs she got and he looked shocked, he said he can't imagine the relief he would feel that there are so many to work with and also that there are future babies there as well.

HA you can use these eggs over the next 6 years or more...this could be it for you....how amazing

I'm trying really hard not to think ahead too much and get used to the idea of getting tons of FETs out of this... last time we had a 50% blast rate but that's higher than normal, so if we wind up with 7 blasts on Wednesday I'll consider us lucky. Given my age, we'd be extremely lucky if half of those blasts are chromosomally normal - odds are that's closer to 10-15%. So if we're lucky, we may end up with 1 or 2 normal embryos.

What's weird though, is that when we had two frosties on our last cycle it actually made me more anxious instead of less.... I've grown very accustomed to the idea of raising an only child, and when we suddenly had frosties last time, I had a lot of anxiety thinking if the fresh transfer worked, then we'd spend the next year or two wondering if we'd get to have more kids, and then if the FET failed, going through the grief all over again of accepting that we'd have an only child. (Am I making any sense here?) It was like I had reached the point where I was ready to have one baby and be done with IF, and having frosties meant IF wasn't over.... So even something you think would be a fantastic blessing, having extra embryos, creates its own grief and issues. Stupid IF.

All that said, though, I am still completely dumbfounded at how many we got. It feels like I'm talking about someone else's numbers.

 

[readyformore]

Hopeful- You and your husband in the milk shed is an absolute riot!!

I agree that this is a thread of great ladies. I think it runs so smoothly because we are all a bit more mature compared to the regular ttc thread. I know that I had to quit going over there when a 20 year old woman was giving me ttc advice. Um......even if it's well placed, no thanks. I love that we all have our own opinions and our differences. It would be terribly boring if we all felt the same way. I also HIGHLY value the honesty here on this thread. Sometimes I just can't stand the blatant constant PMA that is plastered everywhere around here. I just want to scream, "Hey, this is really hard for me. Can anyone relate?" There's always someone here that can commiserate with you, and someone that can cheer you up. We all need a little bit of both I think. We are honest, hopeful, sad, depressed, and encouraged all at the same time. Yes.........it is a group of hormonal women. But, we are always here to support one another.

Happy, I'm really very sorry to say this. I know that I am your fellow realist and you appreciate the lack of sunshine shooting from my arse...........but I just can't help but think that there is a baby somewhere in those 15 embryos. Maybe it's just pre-ovulatory hormones pumping through me right now, or wishful thinking. I don't care, I just can't help but think that way. I'm sure you are trying to squash all thoughts of that nature right now, so I will take responsibility for thinking that way for you. It will be my job to imagine your baby being made amongst those embryos. You just focus on feeling better and taking your meds.

 

[HappyAuntie]

Happy, I'm really very sorry to say this. I know that I am your fellow realist and you appreciate the lack of sunshine shooting from my arse...........but I just can't help but think that there is a baby somewhere in those 15 embryos. Maybe it's just pre-ovulatory hormones pumping through me right now, or wishful thinking. I don't care, I just can't help but think that way. I'm sure you are trying to squash all thoughts of that nature right now, so I will take responsibility for thinking that way for you. It will be my job to imagine your baby being made amongst those embryos. You just focus on feeling better and taking your meds.

 

[crystal443]

Ready- I agree I like the fact that I can ask a question and get an honest answer I don't want anyone to tell me what I want to hear if I ask a question I'm happy to have an honest answer. I think your also right that given our maturity, we can deliver an honest answer in a kind way. I think we've all been through hell to get to this point so I think we're just kinder with each other

HA- I saw that thread about the Clomid too and I actually thought, uuuggghhh to be back when I only needed Clomid I understand her frustration though, you go to the doctor get the meds, get hopes way way up, go back to the doctor to find out it didn't work I agree though to be back when I thought something was actually going to work. Clomid did work twice for me and then that was it I'd give anything to have a cycle to honestly feel positive about. I think infertility naturally strips us of hope especially for ourselves. I am so positive for you, Peace, jen, Liz, Milty, Ready, H0peful etc and yet for myself I have very little hope and the only thing keeping me going is pure stubborness.

I can't remember my first cycle TTC its been so effing long but I imagine I was overly optimistic it was going to happen right away...why wouldn't it?

 

[readyformore]

I can't remember my first cycle TTC its been so effing long but I imagine I was overly optimistic it was going to happen right away...why wouldn't it?

I still remember. The first go around it was August of 2000. We'd been married for 11 months. I had bullied DH into agreeing to ttc and then he panicked last minute and pulled out. I was not a happy camper. My mom was so fertile that I thought I would get pregnant that month anyway.


Anyone have trouble with this site? It's a tad better since I rebooted my computer, but I currently have a laptop, tablet and a phone that I want to throw out the window because it won't load this site properly. It is s............o............ s...........l............o.............w........

 

[crystal443]

Mine has been slow as well..I thought maybe just slow Australian internet..I really can't remember when we first started trying but I know we started trying in 1993 :wacko, we should have a dozen kids by now. Sometimes i feel much older then 38

 

[Milty]

The sight is fine for me ...


I honestly don't remember the first month at all. I really don't know when it was other than I think it was in 1995. oh yeah that's sad!

See I married young so I didn't want people to think I HAD to get married. So I got on the pill for a couple years. I can remember DH and I deciding we had waited long enough and me telling him I didn't know how long it took for the pill to "get out" of my system but we could have fun anyway.

I didn't expect it to be right away but I didn't think it would be hard. Also I figured it would just happen.

Next thing I knew I was at my OBGYN appt and my doc (same one by the way) asked me if I needed to have a new script for pills as my expired more than a year ago. I told her no we were ready to have kids. I remember her looking at me funny saying something like how long had we been trying. I had no idea and it suddenly sunk in it had been a long time.

She laughed and said that if we are trying we should pay attention to my cycle and make sure we had sex during my peak times. She said not to worry it seems you have just been a bit to casual about it.

That appt. was in Aug. of 1996.

Man now I feel old

 

[crystal443]

I've been married since 1994

 

[Milty]

I was married in 1993

 

[readyformore]

We were married in 99.


There was never anything casual about my ttc. I have always been ready for a baby RIGHT NOW!! I don't even think I waited for a year to see the doc to figure out why I wasn't pregnant yet. I've just always had a strong drive to have kids and I figured if I wasn't pregnant right away, something must be wrong.
I have to say that I wasn't knowledgeable about ewcm or any of that when I was 22, but I figured it would happen in the first 3 months. I mean my mom had 4 pregnancies and 3 of them were conceived on some form of birth control, (lucky dog). She focused a lot of time and energy on preaching to me just how fertile our family is. She wanted to make sure that we were ready for a baby even with birth control. No worries mom!

 

[H0pefulagain]

We were married in 1990. We conceived all 3 children while breastfeeding and using birth control and the last one while also using spermicide and a condom in addition. Last condom broke obviously. All 3 were born a year and a few days apart. I had difficult pregnancies with all 3 and even more difficult deliveries. Our midwife and doctor warned us. I didn't take them too serious. Hubby did. So he went out and got a vasectomy despite my begging him not to. He was scared to lose me and be raising 3 little ones on his own. He relented in 2009 and got a reversal in January. We were sure we'd be pregnant in no time. Not so. He fights guilt constantly now. I have become a first rate actress pretending it's no biggie. I so wish we could go back to having babies by so much as sneezing at each other!

 

[Milty]

Ready sometimes I swear we are related...

It's very routine in my family to get pg while on birth control

I swear I have the most fertile family in the world...minus me of course

 

[Jennifer01]

Good morning and happy thanksgiving everyone!! (although I think I'm the only Canadian so I guess this doesn't make sense to anyone else!)

HA: Congrats on your great news, so excited and keeping my fingers crossed for you!!

LL: hope you have a stress free TWW, I have everything crossed for you!

Peace: I am with you, married for only 3 years but with oh for 10. I too am inspired by these ladies, you just don't see it so much anymore! My parents celebrated 50 years this year, it's so nice to be able to watch a great example, as they have had such a lovely marriage! I hope you are feeling better today. I know this might not help because you know your body, but wanted to let you know that my first pregnancy I bled quite a few times in the first few months! I kept thinking my period was starting and it would stop. Please take good care of yourself (actually let oh do it!) and know I'm always thinking about you and sending positive vibes your way

Milty: any new test news? How are you feeling? I just don't know what to make of what's going on...what is the next step-more bloods? Hoping everything works out perfectly

Ready: just reading about you getting advice from others...not sure if I ever wrote it on here but I once got "eat lots of vegetables!" are you effing kidding me?? Oh....thanks...that's what was causing my infertility!!! Not enough lettuce!!!

Crystal: That is one good looking chart! Your late testing is tortuous to me I kid, I'm just excited about your chart

Hopeful: I live near a Mennonite community as well! Their baking is awesome! There are new and old order Mennonite around here, I'm thinking it must be old order that objected to your kissing scene I can also sympathize with needing to go out back to bd- having a teenager in the house (and no barn/shed/etc to go out to!!) made things...interesting!!

Bmom: Where are you? How are you?

Suki: If you're reading this I miss you, hope everything is great

Reading about what it was like when you started ttc, I was thinking about something that happened. After about one year I still thought a bfp was right around the corner. One month close to summer I was late, and remember saying to a friend "oh no, of course I would get pregnant THIS month, I won't be able to drink at the start of summer party!!" Oh brother!!
So I have my 12 week scan tomorrow and if all goes well we should be sharing our news next week. I'm very nervous about sharing with dd, who didn't know we were ttc, has been an only child for 17 years and is very much mommys girl! I'm trying to think of the best way to do it, although chances are good that I'm over thinking it!

 

[peacebaby]

Girls you've done it again....just read back two pages and am nodding my head in agreement with so many things you've all highlighted..I love that especially because our situations are somewhat different and YET there so much that we can relate to about each other. This thread is my virtual " The Red Tent".

HA I totally understand the anxiety of future FET's - I think recurrent mc's and everything else you've been through on top of creates that fear of future
problems. But I'm with Ready in seeing a baby or two in those lovely embies

Hopeful I honestly think working with your doc on the immune issues will bring you answers and success. Did you get your book yet?

Milty, my family will rival yours in the fertility stakes. My mum is one of 12, aunts and cousins each have on average 4 kids. All pregnant at the drop of a hat, even those 35+. I'm the fertility black sheep!

 

[H0pefulagain]

Hopeful I honestly think working with your doc on the immune issues will bring you answers and success. Did you get your book yet?

I did get my book and had it for less than an hour before my Doc grabbed it. We had ordered 2 copies so the 2nd one will be here soon. I can't complain as I know it is rare to have a Doc who is as special as ours. He is just a General practitioner but he was the one who helped our midwife for years. He's truly wonderful and has gotten involved. I hope and pray you're right, Peace!

As for fertility, we both come from large families and both families spit out babies faster than you can chew gum. I have to assume I've done something or exposed myself to something to cause the auto-immune issues but all 3 of our biological children have an auto-immune condition as well. So I've no clue what is the cause and I'm fairly certainly I'll never know. I'm just glad to have you ladies to come to and learn from and know I'm not the only one. However, it is one time I wish I didn't have others going through the same things.

 

[peacebaby]

As for me, I got a scan today! The good news - for the first time ever we have a HB I am thrilled with that and so utterly thankful to God to finally see that little flicker. It took so long for them to say something that I gave up all hope, I was a trembling shaking mess! Also no sign of anything causing the spotting so we can safely assume its just the progesterone causing irritation. Then the ambiguous news - we're measuring 3days behind This worries me because it is typical with immune issues and doesnt bode well if it is down to that. But the sonographer was a student and the midwife seemed positive. I'm clinging to the hope that it was just the student's inexperience as she took ages to get the measurement or that it was late implantation which is likely given that I had a bfn at 12dpo. I'm hoping against all hope that this bean will grow grow grow


Of course I've googled for success stories and my sanity now depends on repeatedly reading these so feel free to inundate me with more. On to another nerve wrecking wait until the next scan! I'll be grey by the end of this.

Thanks for all your thoughts & support

 

[H0pefulagain]

Peace, that is FANTASTIC!!

All 3 of my children measured small and the smallest one came out at 8 lbs 3 oz so just know the measuring isn't always spot on! They kept warning us that our son was going to be 5-6 lbs if we were lucky. He was 9 lbs 13 oz. My placenta just caused issues with them seeing things right is what we were told. Don't sweat it and stay as calm as possible (feel free to imagine chucking something at me!). The calmer you are, the better for yourself and baby.

A HB...what a wonderful thing!

 

[Jennifer01]

As for me, I got a scan today! The good news - for the first time ever we have a HB I am thrilled with that and so utterly thankful to God to finally see that little flicker. It took so long for them to say something that I gave up all hope, I was a trembling shaking mess! Also no sign of anything causing the spotting so we can safely assume its just the progesterone causing irritation. Then the ambiguous news - we're measuring 3days behind This worries me because it is typical with immune issues and doesnt bode well if it is down to that. But the sonographer was a student and the midwife seemed positive. I'm clinging to the hope that it was just the student's inexperience as she took ages to get the measurement or that it was late implantation which is likely given that I had a bfn at 12dpo. I'm hoping against all hope that this bean will grow grow grow


Of course I've googled for success stories and my sanity now depends on repeatedly reading these so feel free to inundate me with more. On to another nerve wrecking wait until the next scan! I'll be grey by the end of this.

Thanks for all your thoughts & support

Ohhh peace so exciting!!!!! How far are you then? My tech told me it was not unusual to measure a week plus or minus (I think I was measuring a couple days behind what I thought).

 

[peacebaby]

I did get my book and had it for less than an hour before my Doc grabbed it. We had ordered 2 copies so the 2nd one will be here soon. I can't complain as I know it is rare to have a Doc who is as special as ours. He is just a General practitioner but he was the one who helped our midwife for years. He's truly wonderful and has gotten involved. I hope and pray you're right, Peace!

Your children having autoimmune conditions is an indication that could well be an immune issue. I can't wait for you to get a better read of the book. Just one thing to bring to your dr's attention is the intralipid treatment (the soy bean oil in article you sent me) which is not mentioned in the book because it was found to work after Dr Beer's passing. Personally it is the most preferable treatment because it has no side effects.

 

[Milty]

Peace don't waste another second worrying about the 3 days ...that is less the the width of a hair on the line for the tech to line up. Know what I mean??? Have you ever tried typing with someone looking over your shoulder.

Muuhhaaaa my mom was also 1 of 12...I am grand baby number 32...
One year we jokingly to a pic holding up # cards. Also my grams had 5 after 40


AFM I'm pretty sure I'm out. My temp dropped and I can't see my lines any more. They only got darker once and stayed that way until today

I really have no clue as to what's going on however I feel very positive and I'm very excited. I feel like I'm closer and somehow this is going to lead us to the answer to my fertility problem. I've broke my rule and been googling like mad but I can not find much of anything like this. I'm still very positive though because this is showing my body doing something wrong if that makes sense.


Anyway I'm going to be doing a lot of reading on my vacay next week.