The massive and totally honest sleep questionnaire

[Jenny1702]

General:
How old is your baby? 17 months

Would you describe them as a good sleeper? Why/why not?
Slept wonderful at birth through the night at 6 weeks then at 5 months she stopped sleeping due to reflux & constipation

Does your baby suffer from any health conditions that affect their sleep? (including colic and reflux?) Colic 6-10pm every evening until 3 months then reflux/constipation from 5 months (I suspect reflux was starting before that as baby was clingy for naps)

How has baby's sleep changed throughout their life so far?
Excellent sleeper at birth who had always been happy and self settled just clingy for naps but got worse from 5 months by 7 months between 12-14 wake ups and 2 hours to settle into bed to begin with after she had always self settled

How long does baby sleep at night? 7pm- 730am

How many times on average are you woken up? 2 times on a good night 4/5 on a bad now all meds working it's a massive improvement

Where does baby sleep at night? In a cot bed in our room after the reflux she wouldn't sleep in her own room

Describe the process of getting baby to sleep. Do you rock? Do you always do the same thing? Is it difficult? Baby won't allow us to rock her now but we still sit quiet with her doing same routine every night (bath,drink, cuddle then into bed with a toy or book for 10 minutes night light on then sit quiet until she falls asleep most nights aren't to bad now only taking 30 minutes


Does your baby fall asleep on their own? Yes usually things are getting much easier now

Have you done any kind of sleep training? If so, what? No

Naps:
Does your baby have a nap schedule? Yes 1 a day for 1 hour around 1130am
Where do they nap? Early days in the cot now in her pushchair

Do you have to work your arse off to get them to nap? Sometimes as she has got older she doesn't want to miss any play time
Do you do the same things consistently for naps? Try to helps her settle down

You:
Have you suffered any health issues because of sleep deprivation? Think I get more bugs as I'm run down alot

Have you ever found yourself unable to sit down/move because your baby is sleeping on you? When the reflux started yes

Have you ever had a night with no sleep whatsoever? Yes many due to reflux and illness ( but hubby & I have taken turns alot to catch up)

Have you ever begged your baby to go to sleep? Prayed to the gods? Got so frustrated you thought you might burst? Not over sleep but over the reflux when doctors didn't really appreciate how bad it was

Do you feel your baby is behind, on schedule or advanced in terms of their ability to sleep? No

What's the worst piece of advice you have read our been given relating to sleep? Don't do things that can create bad habits like rocking baby ( Ive done all of the things like rocking, coslept, let baby nap only on me and nothing has become a habit and she's resettled into a routine I did what my baby needed at the time as she was unwell and needed me

And the best? Trust your instincts

 

[Eleanor ace]

General:
How old is your baby? 5 weeks
Would you describe them as a good sleeper? Why/why not? No but not terrible.
Does your baby suffer from any health conditions that affect their sleep? (including colic and reflux?) She's colicy and maybe has reflux, we're just starting with Gaviscon so we'll see if that helps.
How has baby's sleep changed throughout their life so far? It hasn't, she has good nights and bad nights but always has.

Night Time:
How long does baby sleep at night? Usually 9-9 with wake ups.
How many times on average are you woken up? Some nights 4 times, some nights 10+ times, it really depends!
Where does baby sleep at night? At the start she sleeps in my arms downstairs, then some of the night in her basket next to the bed and some of the night in bed with me.
Describe the process of getting baby to sleep. Do you rock? Do you always do the same thing? Is it difficult? It takes a couple of hours to get her to sleep at 9ish, with rocking and feeding and lots of crying (her, not me ). Then she'll sleep on me until 11ish when she'll usually have a big feed lying in bed and then go in her basket once she's asleep or very sleepy
Does your baby fall asleep on their own? Very occasionally
Have you done any kind of sleep training? If so, what? No

Naps:
Does your baby have a nap schedule? No
Where do they nap? in my arms or in her basket
How many naps? She has 2 sleepy sessions, 1 in the morning and 1 in the afternoon and naps on and off the rest f the time
Nap duration? Really depends. If I held her and could just sit with her she'd probably nap for 2.5 hours. But that's not possible so every day is different.
Do you have to work your arse off to get them to nap? Yep.
Do you do the same things consistently for naps? Mostly.

You:
Have you suffered any health issues because of sleep deprivation? No
Have you ever found yourself unable to sit down/move because your baby is sleeping on you? Yes
Have you ever had a night with no sleep whatsoever? Yes
Have you ever begged your baby to go to sleep? Prayed to the gods? Got so frustrated you thought you might burst? Yes, nightly for 2 years with my DD1
Do you feel your baby is behind, on schedule or advanced in terms of their ability to sleep? On schedule
What's the worst piece of advice you have read our been given relating to sleep? She doesn't sleep because she's trying to control you
And the best? She'll sleep one day!

 

[Perplexed]

i'll answer for both my kids...

General:
How old is your baby?
DD: 22+months
DS: 6 months
Would you describe them as a good sleeper? Why/why not?
DD: she sleeps well when she actually falls asleep...but she won't fall asleep for anything
DS: generally sleeps well most nights and can fall asleep by himself
Does your baby suffer from any health conditions that affect their sleep? (including colic and reflux?)
None that I know of.
How has baby's sleep changed throughout their life so far?
DD: started sttn at 8 weeks old (nothing I did whatsoever) and used to be breastfed to sleep. At 4 months old she regressed and coincidentally I stated formula feeding full time (had a true case of low supply/poor milk transfer). At 6 months old she started waking up once or twice per night and stayed that way till 13-14 months then started sleeping through again. We have trouble getting her to fall asleep and she refuses to even try to sleep in her own bed. Currently she sleeps through but at times wakes up very very early. she doesn't nap some days but naps others.

DS: started sttn at 7 weeks (again, nothing I did at all) and had no noticeable regression at 4 months old. On average though for the past 4 weeks or so he's been waking up at least once per night. past few nights he's been waking up 2-3 times per night.

Night Time:
How long does baby sleep at night?
DD: 8-9 hrs
DS: 10hrs

How many times on average are you woken up?
Dd: at the moment none not counting her days where she wakes up extremely early

Ds: 2-3 times

Where does baby sleep at night?
Both dd and ds have been in their own room since July but we recently switched the bedrooms around and now they're both in our room.

Describe the process of getting baby to sleep. Do you rock? Do you always do the same thing? Is it difficult?
Dd: From 6 months on we used to rock and hum and feed her to sleep. We gave up doing everything and anything and now I just let her sit with me in bed till she falls asleep.

Ds: sometimes he wants to be held and rocked, other times he'll fall asleep on his night time bottle, sometimes he just won't relax till I place him in his cot and walk away (discovers by accident)

Does your baby fall asleep on their own?
Dd: she does but she won't even try if she's not in our bed

Ds: yes

Have you done any kind of sleep training? If so, what?
None

Naps:
Does your baby have a nap schedule?
Neither baby has a schedule. I've never schedule anything for my babies nor do I have a daily routine for them as it doesn't suit our lifestyle.

Where do they nap?
If we're at home in their beds (dd toddler bed, ds cot bed). if at my mom's dd would sleep on my mom's bed or on the floor and ds in his cot.
How many naps?
Dd: 1 if any
Ds: 3 or 4
Nap duration?
If dd naps it's around 1 hr or 1.5 hrs
Ds cat naps most of the time 20-30 mins max

Do you have to work your arse off to get them to nap?
yes, with dd I gave up and don't do anything anymore and if it gets late I try to distract her and keep her awake till night time.
ds needs a bit more rocking and white noise to fall asleep for naps.

Do you do the same things consistently for naps?
Most of the time.

You:
Have you suffered any health issues because of sleep deprivation?
my sleep deprivation is caused by my own mental health issues (depression whether postnatal or not i am not sure) and have sometimes started to hallucinate due to it.
when dd was 6-7 months old I've also had some incidents of hallucinations due to sleep deprivation. she wasn't sleeping much at night at some point...and that's when we started bed sharing as it was the only way any of us would get any sleep.

Have you ever found yourself unable to sit down/move because your baby is sleeping on you?
only with dd until she turned 4 months old. before 4 months it was a miracle I ever left the house.

Have you ever had a night with no sleep whatsoever?
maybe one occasion, neither dh, dd or I slept. she was around 4 months.

Have you ever begged your baby to go to sleep? Prayed to the gods?
Got so frustrated you thought you might burst?
yeah probably, I'm pretty sure I've cried as well.

Do you feel your baby is behind, on schedule or advanced in terms of their ability to sleep?
I don't think of sleep that way. I think it depends on the baby and their personality. my youngest brother spent entire nights crying and he was a nervous baby and is a super cautious adolescent.


What's the worst piece of advice you have read our been given relating to sleep?
don't rock your baby to sleep they'll get used to it.

And the best?
don't let your lo nap late (doesn't apply to ds as he's still quite young imo)
and really the best thing I've ever been told is to just do what works for your baby. no one's perfect and no situation is ideal, so if you find something that works do it. white noise, swing, stroller, whatever!

 

[newlywed2013]

General:
How old is your baby? 13.5 months
Would you describe them as a good sleeper? Why/why not? Yes and no. She doesn't sleep through the night, she wakes up one or two times to nurse. She sleeps with us in our bed, but we are working on getting her a bed set up and are going to transition her soon
Does your baby suffer from any health conditions that affect their sleep? (including colic and reflux?) no
How has baby's sleep changed throughout their life so far? It hasn't really

Night Time:
How long does baby sleep at night? off and on from 830-9pm to 6-7 am
How many times on average are you woken up? one-two
Where does baby sleep at night? with me
Describe the process of getting baby to sleep. Do you rock? Do you always do the same thing? Is it difficult? she nurses to sleep
Does your baby fall asleep on their own? no
Have you done any kind of sleep training? If so, what? no

Naps:
Does your baby have a nap schedule? Kind of, it varyies
Where do they nap? at daycare- in a crib, at home, on me or the couch if I can put her down
How many naps? 2
Nap duration? about an hour
Do you have to work your arse off to get them to nap? no
Do you do the same things consistently for naps? no

You:
Have you suffered any health issues because of sleep deprivation? no, but I'm sure it doesnt help my postpartum depression and anxiety
Have you ever found yourself unable to sit down/move because your baby is sleeping on you? yes
Have you ever had a night with no sleep whatsoever? yes
Have you ever begged your baby to go to sleep? Prayed to the gods? Got so frustrated you thought you might burst? YES!
Do you feel your baby is behind, on schedule or advanced in terms of their ability to sleep? No
What's the worst piece of advice you have read our been given relating to sleep?
And the best?

 

[Ecoden]

General:
How old is your baby? almost 7 months
Would you describe them as a good sleeper? Why/why not? Yes, but she wasn't always! We did sleep train her. She takes 2 1-2 hour naps and catnap every day. Wakes once a night to nurse but otherwise sleeps 7-7
Does your baby suffer from any health conditions that affect their sleep? (including colic and reflux?)No
How has baby's sleep changed throughout their life so far? She was a champ sleeper from 6 weeks to 4 months then started waking every 30 min at night (ugh) from 4 mo-6 mo. Then we did CIO and a schedule and now she is happier and sleeps much better.

Night Time:
How long does baby sleep at night? 11-12 hours
How many times on average are you woken up?0-1
Where does baby sleep at night? Crib in her room
Describe the process of getting baby to sleep. Do you rock? Do you always do the same thing? Is it difficult? Bath, jammies, nurse, bed (put down awake and leave the room). It's always the same unless I am gone then nurse is a bottle. Sometimes it's difficult if she's overtired or she is mad about having to go to sleep because now she knows what an evening bath means
Does your baby fall asleep on their own? Yes
Have you done any kind of sleep training? If so, what? Yes, we did Weisbluth CIO. It was awful at first but worth it. We also did a schedule from our sleep trainer. She's on a 3.5-4 hour feeding schedule that helps a lot so she gets full meals rather than snacking all day.

Naps:
Does your baby have a nap schedule? Yes but it's more of a routing, awake time is every 2-2.5 hours depending on sleepy signs.
Where do they nap? In crib if home, in pack n play if at neighbor's house for nanny share
How many naps? 2.5-3
Nap duration? 1-2 hours for the first two and 20-40 min for the last one
Do you have to work your arse off to get them to nap? Nope. We used to! Before sleep training she would fight naps then wake after 20-30 min. Now We just set her down.
Do you do the same things consistently for naps? Kind of. She gets a version of a wind down depending on who is doing it (nanny, dad, me, gramma) after getting in jammies, white noise, lay down.

You:
Have you suffered any health issues because of sleep deprivation? Yes. I had depression from the 2 months she was up every 30 min. I didn't treat it, it went away when she began sleeping well again.
Have you ever found yourself unable to sit down/move because your baby is sleeping on you? Not anymore. I kind of miss that actually! She used to do that as a newborn.
Have you ever had a night with no sleep whatsoever? Yes more than one
Have you ever begged your baby to go to sleep? Prayed to the gods? Got so frustrated you thought you might burst? OH YES
Do you feel your baby is behind, on schedule or advanced in terms of their ability to sleep? On schedule
What's the worst piece of advice you have read our been given relating to sleep?
And the best? The whole "tank up during the day" thing sounded like a good idea but because I am bfing I was confused about what that actually meant so I fed her more often. Turns out that was the worst thing to do because she wasn't getting enough hindmilk and just snacking 24/7. Spacing her feeds helped us a ton. She was every 3 hours at 5/6 mo and now is every 3.5-4 hours for a feed. You feed on demand during growth spurts though!

 

[JumpingIn]

I've realised I was comparing apples to oranges (Ok, apples to squirrels) because of my son's severe GERD. Acidic matter rises into his oesophagus hundreds of times a night triggering his survival reflexes to prevent more choking episodes. I posted the questionnaire on a GERD forum and got answers a teeny bit nearer to where we're at. Sorry ladies Your sleepers all sounds amazing...Treasure them and treasure every hour in bed. You are lucky x

 

[Taurus8484]

Hope it gets better soon....i have seen your posts on here and i don't know how you do it

Your amazing....your a wonderful Mother and your going through something Ive never had to experience.....it will end one day and you will have a happy cheeky little toddler running around....hang in there Mummy xx your doing your best and he loves you unconditionally for it

 

[JumpingIn]

Thank you so much, what kind words xx I know it's not an 'if' but a 'when' it'll get better. I've done 21 weeks and survived, the body and mind really are stronger than we think when we're driven by love for our little ones. Still interesting reading your replies and thanks everyone... Maybe one day we'll have a baby without this and it's useful to know what to expect then

 

[hlynne]

JumpinIn - I totally agree with Taurus. Honestly when I saw that you started this thread I was wondering why. I thought you would be upsetting yourself since you are going through such a hard time and it is something that not many go through. There is definitely no need for you to compare your life with your little man at this time with others who have babies without severe issues.

I don't know how you do it but I'm glad you are able to get through it.

Exactly - It's not "if" but "when"

 

[emyandpotato]

How old is your baby? 15 weeks.
Would you describe them as a good sleeper? Why/why not? No! He fights sleep all day every day until he's exhausted, and then when he does fall asleep he wakes within minutes no matter what we try.
Does your baby suffer from any health conditions that affect their sleep? (including colic and reflux?) Nothing has been diagnosed. I had thought perhaps silent reflux but I don't really know.
How has baby's sleep changed throughout their life so far? He used to sleep well in the carrier, he now doesn't. He also eats less at night than when he was newborn.

Night Time:
How long does baby sleep at night? He sleeps from around 8pm til 2am, though OH has to put him down as he never ever sleeps for me. Then he wakes for a feed and I cosleep and feed him for the rest of the night. This used to be fine but this week he's been so fussy and not fed properly so I've been up from about 2 every day.
How many times on average are you woken up? Countless.
Where does baby sleep at night? In cosleeper cot until he wakes, then in my bed.
Describe the process of getting baby to sleep. Do you rock? Do you always do the same thing? Is it difficult? He only ever falls asleep with me from me feeding him or having him in the carrier, but this isn't working much any more so I have no idea what I'm going to do! Yes it's very difficult, he fights sleep like crazy.
Does your baby fall asleep on their own? Ha.
Have you done any kind of sleep training? If so, what? No.

Naps:
Does your baby have a nap schedule? No.
Where do they nap? During feeds in my arms. Occasionally in the carrier if we're out.
How many naps? Depends on the day he's having.
Nap duration? 5 minutes.
Do you have to work your arse off to get them to nap? Yes.
Do you do the same things consistently for naps? Yes.

You:
Have you suffered any health issues because of sleep deprivation? Don't think so.
Have you ever found yourself unable to sit down/move because your baby is sleeping on you? Every time he falls asleep! Unfortunately he also feeds for most of the day so I can't move then either.
Have you ever had a night with no sleep whatsoever? In the newborn stage yes.
Have you ever begged your baby to go to sleep? Prayed to the gods? Got so frustrated you thought you might burst? Frequently.
Do you feel your baby is behind, on schedule or advanced in terms of their ability to sleep? I feel like not being able to fall asleep/stay asleep at all is really unusual. Even the sleep help books say nothing about it. It's not a case of he won't sleep apart from in my arms it's simply he seems unable to sleep.
What's the worst piece of advice you have read or been given relating to sleep? To just leave them to cry.
And the best? I don't think I've ever had any advice that has done any good tbh!

 

[JumpingIn]

emy are there any other symptoms aside from the sleep issue? How's feeding? Describe to me what's happening when baby won't sleep... clearly tired? trying to but flapping arms, kicking, arching just as the eyes close? Don't let anyone tell you it's normal. It isn't. This sounds like discomfort... So tell me more

 

[JumpingIn]

Thank you so much hlynne. Your little guy is looking gorgeous x

 

[JumpingIn]

Feel free to keep going ladies. It's a useful resource x

 

[amelia26]

General:How old is your baby?*10 qweeks
Would you describe them as a good sleeper? Reasonably
/why not? Shes a million times better than my first!
Does your baby suffer from any health conditions that affect their sleep? No
How has baby's sleep changed throughout their life so far? Harder to transfer whilst asleep. Shorter/fewer naps
Night Time:*How long does baby sleep at night?*3 to 5 hours, feed, then another 2 or 3 hours
How many times on average are you woken up? 1 or 2
Where does baby sleep at night?*Moses basket next to our bed.
Describe the process of getting baby to sleep. Do you rock? Do you always do the same thing? Is it difficult?Does your baby fall asleep on their own?*Have you done any kind of sleep training? In the day we put her down awake and pat her bottom with white noise and dummy (or she sleeps in the pram if we're out). Ibn the evening she usually feeds on and off until she conks out. At night she mostly goes straight back to sleep after a feed. *Napsoes your baby have a nap schedule?*No
Where do they nap?*Moses basket, pram, sling.
How many naps? Variable. Maybe 3 or 4 Nap duration? 20 mims to 2 hours! Usually get one long one and a few little ones
*Do you have to work your arse off to get them to nap?*No.
Do you do the same things consistently for naps? Try to but she has to fit in around our son's schedule. Y
You:Have you suffered any health issues because of sleep deprivation?*No. Have you ever found yourself unable to sit down/move because your baby is sleeping on you? No. Have you ever had a night with no sleep whatsoever?*No. (I did with my first though! )Have you ever begged your baby to go to sleep? No. Prayed to the gods? No. Got so frustrated you thought you might burst?*No (did with my first though! )Do you feel your baby is behind, on schedule or advanced in terms of their ability to sleep?*No. Neither. What's the worst piece of advice you have read our been given relating to sleep?*They will sleep if they're tired! And the best? Dont overstimulate. Watch your baby closely and learn their cues. Put them down when sleepy but not yet yawning. Keep a calm house. Cut yourself some slack. If she doesn't sleep, its ok. It won't last forever!

Let's do this! I'll do mine as soon as the baby lets me sit down

 

[amelia26]

My first was a bad sleeper. Terrible terrible terrible. His sleep pattern was often 30 minutes sleep, 2 hoirs awake, 30 minutes asleep - repeat repeat. And if he was awake at night he was screaming. Honestly the the best piece of advice anyone have me about him was to stop wishing he was something he wasn't. Accept he's a bad sleeper and do what you can to cope. But don't go comparing him to other babies because reading about babies sleeping all night or patents thinking their baby is a bad sleeper because he wakes once or twice, will only antagonise. This baby is so much easier than my first and I don't think it's anything we've done. It's luck of the draw. And those with bad sleepers, all I can say is it won't last forever. Accept what help you can and make sure your partner, if you have one, is sharing the load at night. .

 

[emyandpotato]

emy are there any other symptoms aside from the sleep issue? How's feeding? Describe to me what's happening when baby won't sleep... clearly tired? trying to but flapping arms, kicking, arching just as the eyes close? Don't let anyone tell you it's normal. It isn't. This sounds like discomfort... So tell me more

He's BF and he feeds every minute of the day! Well I can distract him for the odd half an hour but then he wants to feed again. We've actually got a lactation consultant coming today cos he's cluster fed non-stop since birth and I'm finding it super tough. Sorry, I know it's nothing in comparison to what you're going through!

Yeah he looks exhausted and will fight me and won't want to feed but at the same time is desperately trying to latch and then when he does sleep he'll wake within minutes. Half an hour is the longest he'll do. He doesn't seem to arch his back though? He does flail and kick and punch me though.

 

[Perplexed]

emy that sounds exactly like my dd in the first few months of her life. i did even know how to leave the house let alone use the bathroom! I hope the lc has some insight for you

jumpingin I'm sorry about your struggles, really hope things improve for your little one

 

[JumpingIn]

emy my boy rarely 'back arches' and he has reflux almost as severe as it comes. Constant feeding but fighting is a classic SR symptom... They like the feeling of liquid going DOWNWARDS but it hurts to swallow and it hurts when it comes back up, so they're in constant conflict.

Waking within minutes is also classic and an under detected symptom. When you fall asleep your lower oesophageal sphincter relaxes, making reflux much worse.

Will he happily be laid down flat? Sleep flat? Any strange noises from the throat or a hoarse voice? Regular hiccups? Screaming or unsettled more than most babies his age? I definitely wouldn't dismiss SR from what you've written. I would suspect mild SR, intolerance or both, which could be helped with something like Gaviscon, sleeping on an incline, baby wearing and perhaps eliminating dairy and soy from your diet. All relatively harmless interventions and well worth a go.

 

[emyandpotato]

emy my boy rarely 'back arches' and he has reflux almost as severe as it comes. Constant feeding but fighting is a classic SR symptom... They like the feeling of liquid going DOWNWARDS but it hurts to swallow and it hurts when it comes back up, so they're in constant conflict.

Waking within minutes is also classic and an under detected symptom. When you fall asleep your lower oesophageal sphincter relaxes, making reflux much worse.

Will he happily be laid down flat? Sleep flat? Any strange noises from the throat or a hoarse voice? Regular hiccups? Screaming or unsettled more than most babies his age? I definitely wouldn't dismiss SR from what you've written. I would suspect mild SR, intolerance or both, which could be helped with something like Gaviscon, sleeping on an incline, baby wearing and perhaps eliminating dairy and soy from your diet. All relatively harmless interventions and well worth a go.

He feeds lying flatish on a big fluffy pillow and that's where he falls asleep, but he so rarely will sleep on a cot or moses basket during the day. Strangely at night he has no problem sleeping a few hours alone in his cot though. He used to sleep brilliantly in the carrier but doesn't so much any more which drives me mad! OH is getting Infant Gaviscon today as LC isn't sure but I want to try it. My eldest had reflux and wouldn't so much as take a mouthful of milk if he didn't have Gaviscon. I actually cut dairy out a week ago to see if it helped but so far no luck!

 

[JumpingIn]

Great work but dairy elimination is useless without soy elimination add the proteins are practically identical so bear that in mind. There is a genetic link with reflux. Hope he stops fighting you soon xx