~. The psychosis thread .~

[hellohefalump]

I just re read my post where I said I'd stop, I meant stop smoking! You see my heads all over the place! I had five yesterday and today I'm allowed four. Big improvement on my usual 15-20! I'd got one of those electronic fags and its really helping me.

I haven't been on quetiapine that long, about 2 or three months now. I'm finding it quite good, it's definitely helped. Aripiprazole is an anti psychotic. It works up to a point but not completely which is why I'm on quetiapine aswell. Duloxetine is an antidepressant. So far its working quite well but I've not been on it long, only a couple of months.

 

[topsy]

Ahhhh sorry I may have read it wrong in my head-Well welldone anyway, hope the electronic fag helps

We have both been on our meds about the same time then hun.

I think my quitepen may need to be upped, i slept well but the voices are here this morning they were commenting on me doing the washing saying all the germs on the bedding wont be killed on a 60 wash Grrr! I hate it when its a running comentry on everything i do

xxxx

 

[hellohefalump]

Maybe ask your psych if you can use small amounts of quetiapine as PRN? I have 50mg twice a day, whenever the anxiety/wierd thoughts/voices come back. I was taking it four times a day, but now I'm feeling a bit better I'm taking it twice a day. That's on top of my usual dose (400mg) in the evening. I find it takes about 15 minutes to kick in when I have my smaller doses during the day.

I've had two fags so far today, I'm 'allowed' four so two for tonight.

I don't know abut you, but I find evenings worse for anxiety, and also my poverty of thought.

I'm doing quite well today, my husband has gone out to run some errands with my two yr old, and I'm at home on my own with my five yr old, whose not feeling very well, she keeps being sick. Luckily she's old enough to use a bucket! So it's not too bad.

I'm feeling positive about this new year. It can't be worse an last year. MY husband's mother died... I got Ill lots of times, and ended up in hospital in November.

This year I'm going to have a tummy tuck (I still look eight months pregnant because my muscles are shot), Petes going to stay in charge of the meds so I can't stop taking them, and hopefully ill stay well this year. He's been off work looking after me and the kids for the last eighteen months, but this year he's going to use the money his mum left him to start a handy man business with his best mate. So I've really got to stay well this year. My son goes into preschool in April, so that'll take some of the pressure off me, and I really think things could work out this year. New meds, new year!

 

[topsy]

Ahh thanks never thought about having quetiapine as a PRN, I will ask when i see the CT again.

My eves are ALWAYS worse for anxiety especially if something different is happening the next day, its when it often spirals out of control.

Oh no sorry one of your LO is sick, glad she can use a bucket, and Its great you are doing longer stints home on your own. My dad is here at the mo, LO is asleep and then SS are doing a 2 hour slot from 3.30, till hubby gets in from work.

Glad your feeling postive about this year-I am trying! Sorry it sounds as last year was very upsetting and stressful for you.

My hubby has asked for 1 day off a week to help care for me with flexible working hours at work but its been refused he had 9 weeks last year off to look after me. Its hard isnt it getting the care, he has thought about leaving work to care for me. We sent in a form, I believe its for DLA ( I get confused by benefits-only just got my head round tax credits!) and he could get a carers rate-which I dont think is that much money, but better than nothing, if he dose have to quit his job. my parents and aunt are doing a fantastic job but it is wearing them out, they are mid 60s. I feel so guilty that I cant just get better!

Aw good luck to Pete with the handy man business its good he is doing it with a mate then he can support him, or work if there are times when he needs to help you out a little more.

Are you having your tummy tuck at your local hospital?

Hope your son get on ok at pre school, we have been toying with the idea of maybe LO going to a childminder for 1 day a week ( if DH dosnt look after me and carrys on at work)

xxxx

 

[hellohefalump]

I've had a bit of a down turn these last few days, mainly anxiety and hearing things. I was in a sainsburys the other night on my own and I kept hearing someone talking out of my pocket so I checked my hone and it wasn't that... It was kind of commentating n what I was doing. I also had this awful anxiety that everyone was out to get me... Driving back (5 mins away) I felt very unsafe.

 

[topsy]

Oh hun, I am sorry for your experiences in sainsburys sounds scary. I am having very up and down days. I am still not allowed to drive.

 

[hellohefalump]

I've only just started driving again. Today was so much better I don't now why.... But I've done loads of stuff around the house today. And ive only had five cigarettes, which is quite good for me. Aiming at four tommorow see how I go...

I'm still hearing things a little bit though but not too much.

 

[topsy]

Glad you had a good day yesterday and got some bits may done hun, thats good. Hope today has been as good. well done on the cigarettes too.

I am still having the voices too...its hard going.

xxx

 

[hellohefalump]

Wish there was something I could say to you, other than keep taking your meds. Are you seeing your psych again soon? Do you still see the crisis team?

I'm kind of coming to terms with the voices, I keep telling myself theyre not real, it's just when they're accompanied by strange things in the environment (whooshing noises, things changing colour, getting darker....) it's hard to deal with.

 

[topsy]

Thank you.

Yep still seeing the crisis team and seeing psychiatric next week, with a new team, I dont take in all what they are saying, hubby dose.

I am still religiously taking meds as hubby always gives them to me, the voices have said not to...but at the moment I can listen more to hubby.

For me, as the voices are still new-ish ( think they started june/july time) I still struggle, sometimes it feel like they are just having a conversation in my head and then i cant concentrate on anything!

I get things where things get darker, i also see lots of shadow, but unlike when you think you see thing look away and they have gone theses are still there.

I am well into a 2 hour stint on my own with LO-this is the longest I have been on my own with him since sep time. I am building it up slowly. he has just gone down for a sleep, managed to go for a walk with my dad earlier to get some bits for tea.

take care hun xxx

 

[SisterRose]

Hey everyone, just wanted to share some big hugs

Topsy - I think I remember you from the dieting journal threads!

My mum had puerperal psychosis after the birth of my brother, her second baby(im first) and she had a horrible time too, seeing visions, hearing voices, thinking my dad was the devil and the tv was sending her messages ect. She spent a lot of time in hospital while me and my brother were kids and also suffers with bipolar disorder too and she's also had two psychotic episodes this year.
I can relate to what you're both going through but haven't been there myself and I know nobody can never know how truely terrible it is unless theyve suffered it first hand.

My cousin(dads side so no blood relative of my mum) also had puerperal psychosis after the birth of her son 4 years ago, and she was really ill too.

Psychosis runs in both sides of my family and when I was pregnant with DD I went to counseling because I have a history of anxiety disorder and depression and I was TERRIFIED of getting psychosis after seeing what my mum went through but I was fine in the end.

Now Im TTC baby number 2, I really want another and it's worth the risk for me but with my mum getting it after her second and having the anxiety and worry again and im really scared that next time could be it for me, so im hoping for counseling again when im pregnant and i will be making sure my OH and my mum are watching out 100% to make sure im sleeping properly after and not acting strangely.

Hoping that you ladies are feeling better soon

 

[hellohefalump]

Sister rose, I agree with you that it's worth it. I went to hell and back with my son, but I wouldn't be without him and he has completed our family. I'd even have another baby but my husband says no because of what happened to me with mojo. I'm glad you're having counselling, hopefully you will have a lot of awareness and 'nip it in the bud' if anything does happen. For me, my puerpal psychosis started when I was 23 weeks pregnant. I was on antipsychotics from then on in my pregnancy, they did have to monitor his blood sugar, and I stayed in hospital an extra day, but he was fine that was just for monitoring. I didn't breastfed though because I didn't want to with all e meds I was taking. I felt bad because I breastfed my daughter til she as nearly two. But that's just how things happened.

 

[hellohefalump]

Topsy two hours is amazing! How did it go?

 

[topsy]

Topsy two hours is amazing! How did it go?

Hey it went ok thank you, am on another 2 hour stint this afternoon, but do have the HV coming at some point.

Hi sisterrose , I am sorry your mum suffered to hun, you are right its a horrible ilness. Sending to you, and really hope you dont get it, but its good you have people looking out for you, just in case. take care.

Well my voices are going strong, but on stuff that I am doing, when I was cooking they said I didnt cook it well enough, I shoved my hair back, they are saying its better down Grrr! BUT its better than them saying nasty things. I am asking the abit team (no idea what it stands for!) if I can up my quitepen tomorrow by another 50mg to 350, when I saw GP she wasnt happy to without there say so.

How are you doing today hellohefalump? Sending hugs xxxx

 

[hellohefalump]

I'm ok, but I've picked up a bug and I'm not feeling very well.

I got my lip pierced the other day, quite impulsively! It really hurts! But I can hardly eat, so it's good for the diet, also hurts to smoke and I'm down to two or three a day!

 

[topsy]

there are loads of bugs and colds about. LO has had a cold since early dec and now left with an awful cough Hope you feel better soon.

You are brave witth your lip piercing-I am a wimp. Hope it heals soon, so you can eat better, but well done with even less cigarettes.

I am plodding along.

xxxxx

 

[SisterRose]

It's been ages since ive had a piercing! I had my lip done a few times when I was younger, tongue, upper lip, eyebrow and some more but took them all out as I got older.

Hope your lip heals quick and the soreness goes away soon, and good job with the smoking!

x

 

[Moreta]

Hi Ladies, I thought I should join in. I'm 28, TTC #1, and have Bipolar I with psychosis. I haven't been in the hospital since Sept 2010, so I'm doing pretty well. I've been TTC on and off for 16 months. I start fertility treatments next month though, so I'm coming off most of my meds this month. The big one that I'm coming off of is Tegretol. My psych put me on it last June and since then everything has been great. I'm afraid that when I'm fully off of it I'll go back to my depressed self. I quit caffeine yesterday, and I quit smoking today, so hopefully that goes well.

During the pregnancy I will be on Lamictal and Geodon. Me without meds never goes well. That's when I land in the hospital. I know there's risks, but personally I'd rather stay alive during the pregnancy. My psych and obgyn has approved the 2 meds. My obgyn said i could stay on tegretol, but my psych said that's a big no no, so I'm going to go with him since he actually knows about psychiatric medication.

I'm really worried about having a psychotic break during the pregnancy, but since I'll be on meds, hopefully that won't happen.

 

[hellohefalump]

Hi moreta! Good luck with ttc! Hopefully they'll keep a close eye on you and it'll be fine. I was on olanzapine and fluoxetine from the middle of the pregnancy when the first psychotic episode started and my baby was healthy.

 

[topsy]

I am really struggling with my voices, they are telling me to go. Where I dont know. last night I went, just walking with my PJS on, I just left the house..... I couldn't get them to stop. they are telling me horrible things that will happen when I take my meds. they were saying horrific things about my family. In the end the police saw me about to walk through the woods apparently, stopped me and brought me home. I rang my care co-ordination this morning and she is out of the office until tomorrow. Its a joke, hubby is off trying to keep me safe and really feel in the end the voices will win I am not in control at all.