There is just no info out there about breastfeeding a toddler!

[Zephram]

This is just a bit of a rant really, but as we approach LO's first birthday and our breastfeeding relationship is continuing to be awesome, I thought I'd look into finding out a bit more about 'extended' breastfeeding, since we are heading into that territory now. I have to say I'm a bit shocked about how little information there is out there about breastfeeding a baby past the first year of life!

I've found the Kellymom pages and some info from studies about natural age of weaning being between 2 and 7, but the utter dearth of info about optimal frequency, how the composition of milk changes, natural weaning, etc, surprises me.

So my questions for anyone out there who has continued breastfeeding their toddler are:

- How did frequency of feeding change as your LO got older? My LO is probably still having around 6 feeds a day, as well as 3 solid meals and two snacks. He does a lot of comfort sucking at night, so it would probably be 4 bigger feeds of you took that out. I want to try to night wean soon, I think, but I don't want to cut out that feeding time if he still needs it. And I'm also worried about my supply diminishing if I don't feed at night... is that a legitimate fear? Also, I haven't had my period yet, which is yay in some ways, but OH and I were thinking of trying for baby number two next year, which I guess won't happen if I'm still breastfeeding enough to suppress ovulation! Or would night weaning take care of that?

- Were you faced with any criticism from friends/family for continuing to breastfeed? This is not really a problem for me, I simply don't care if anyone thinks it's weird, I'm just curious really. I've had people ask recently if I'm 'still' breastfeeding, as though it's a big deal, but nothing negative. However I wonder if this will change if LO and I happen to be breastfeeding at two?

- If you let your LO self-wean, what age were they when this happened and how did it happen? I'm going to continue while we are both happy to be doing it, but I'm interested in what the signs of LO trying to wean might be.

 

[Tacey]

Annoying isn't it? I've found my La Leche League group invaluable. I wouldn't still be nursing were it not for them. Also, the Ann Sinnott book 'Breastfeeding Older Children' is worth a read.

As for your questions...

- How did frequency of feeding change as your LO got older? My LO is probably still having around 6 feeds a day, as well as 3 solid meals and two snacks. He does a lot of comfort sucking at night, so it would probably be 4 bigger feeds of you took that out. I want to try to night wean soon, I think, but I don't want to cut out that feeding time if he still needs it. And I'm also worried about my supply diminishing if I don't feed at night... is that a legitimate fear? Also, I haven't had my period yet, which is yay in some ways, but OH and I were thinking of trying for baby number two next year, which I guess won't happen if I'm still breastfeeding enough to suppress ovulation! Or would night weaning take care of that?
My two have been quite different. Alice was a boob monster and would nurse as often as I'd let her (actually, she probably still would!). Arthur is less bothered - he's down to about 4 or 5 times a day if we're out, and a bit more if we're in - he's easily distracted! He nurses maybe once a night, Alice was virtually attached all night long . I don't think you need to worry too much about your supply if you night wean. It will likely just regulate. Night weaning could well kick start your fertility, but it may just happen anyway. My period came back at 19 months, and there's been no change in how often or how long Alice nursed.

- Were you faced with any criticism from friends/family for continuing to breastfeed? This is not really a problem for me, I simply don't care if anyone thinks it's weird, I'm just curious really. I've had people ask recently if I'm 'still' breastfeeding, as though it's a big deal, but nothing negative. However I wonder if this will change if LO and I happen to be breastfeeding at two?
Not in real life, thankfully, and I've got broad enough shoulders to take it online . I've had quite a few raised eyebrows though. I think it happened more often when Alice was approaching 2. After that, people stopped asking. I don't think even many of my family know I'm still nursing Alice.

- If you let your LO self-wean, what age were they when this happened and how did it happen? I'm going to continue while we are both happy to be doing it, but I'm interested in what the signs of LO trying to wean might be.

Still waiting. I think she might be losing her latch though, because she can't always get as much milk as she wants. How Weaning Happens is a lovely book filled with real experiences of weaning - it's very varied.

 

[Zephram]

Thanks Tacey! It's really interesting to hear about others' experiences. Congrats on still nursing Alice.

I think I'm just going to let LO set the pace and see what happens. In the last couple of days he hasn't been very interested in his middle of the day feed and I'm not sure if he's trying to drop this one or if maybe he's just teething. It's hard to know!

 

[Marie000]

My daughter is close to 13 months, so not much older than yours.

The frequency of her feeding has varied from day to day. Lately, it has dropped quite a bit. She nurses in the morning and before bed, and sometimes once or twice during the day. If she is distracted enough (or not with mommy) she is fine not nursing. The only feeding that would be hard to drop is the one before bed because it has become part of her nighttime routine. Still, I think that she could easily be weaned if I wanted. I'm just not ready. Plus she wont take cow's milk.

I am even getting concerned that she doesn't seem to want to nurse much. Seems a little young to be going towards self-weaning. Maybe it's a miscommunication between us and once she's more vocal with her needs she'll ask to nurse more often.

As far as criticism goes, so far I didn't get any. Then again, 13 months isn't that old. I get lots of people surprised that I'm still nursing (even at 10 months I was starting to get comments from people who didn't think it was possible to nurse that long).
It is a concern though. I am a pretty private person and being criticised stresses me, so I am dreading having to face those criticisms.

 

[noon_child]

I posted my experience with this on a similar thread: https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/toddler-pre-school/2028281-question-self-weaning.html

Re: supply - I think it regulates so easily at this age, it is like the breasts are pros at it! My LO went to nursery at 12months and so was forced to feed less often but whenever she got ill she'd become a boob monster again and I never experienced any problems with her complaining there was no milk (one of the advantages of extended breast feeding is this on-tap rehydration solution that calms and soothes and offers cuddles and comfort. I don't klnow how people cope with sick or teething toddlers without breastfeeding!)

Re:criticism - It was probably there but I chose not to acknowledge it. No-one went out of there way to force the issue. "Are you still bf?" "Yes" *big smile* and the subject usually changed. I think once my Mum saw how easily my LO self-weaned she felt a bit jealous that she had followed the tradition of forcing us to stop age 1yr.

 

[susannah14]

I'd love to read some more experiences of ladies nursing toddlers...my son is almost 14 months and I have no plans on stopping breast feeding. TBH I am a little worried about criticisms from my friends and family (my mom recommended I stop at 12 months, my inlaws never breastfed and keep asking when I'm going to stop), but right now I feel like he's still small enough that they aren't that bothered by it. I'm not going to let them influence my decisions at all, I just have heard so much criticism from my family of "moms breastfeeding until age 2-3" and how weird it is, and I don't want them to talk behind my back. Has anyone else faced this? Did you try to educate them or just ignore it?

I'd also love to hear any other advice or experiences you may have. My son is a GREAT nurser- he still lays across my lap in a cradle position, no kicking, no biting, never pulls at my shirt for my boobs or anything. It's been a great experience and we both enjoy it, and when I think about making him stop just because he's one and walking, it's the most illogical thing in the world.

 

[nullaby]

Boobs really are pros after the first year. I worked 8-12 hour shifts and would pump on my lunch break. My supply adjusted and toddler nursed as soon as I got home. We night weaned around 13-14 mo and with my work schedule that's when af came back.

I got a few comments on bfing past a year, the more shocked looks came from nursing at 2 lol. We stopped around 26 months due to pregnancy and nipples hurt when he latched. He was down to 1 -4 timesa day

 

[Rachel_C]

Up to around 2 years old, LO was waking twice in the night for milk and feeding probably 4 times a day (7am, 11am, 2pm, bedtime... ish). A few weeks after she turned 2, I night weaned her using Dr Jay Gordon's method (which I whole heartedly recommend for a toddler). I did find my supply dropped pretty much instantly after stopping night feeds, so yes I would be slightly concerned if you don't want to affect daytime feeds at all. There was a week of LO having to work harder for her usual daytime feeds - she didn't particularly appreciate it but it wasn't too bad. Now, my boobs seem to have adjusted to producing just what LO needs in the day, but she has started to feed less. I don't know how much of that is down to supply (I think not that much as my daytime supply seems to have bounced back and seems responsive to her needs). I think mostly it's down to LO's reduced emotional need for boob - as she's no longer feeding in the night, she doesn't seem to need it as much in the day either. That's why I waited until she was 2 to night wean, as getting to 2 was important to me and I didn't want to risk it in any way. I can't help with the period thing as mine came back at only 12 weeks, I was so annoyed!

I haven't had any criticism yet but my family have always known I would BF longer than the norm and I've never wavered in that or given them any reason to think I need advice! I don't know if they'd choose to BF their own kids this long but as long as they let me get on with it I don't care I still occasionally BF LO while we're out and about. She is very verbal so people often think she's older than she is, but still no negative comments or looks I've noticed.

I don't think we'll be classed as self-weaning when LO decides to stop as I did night wean her, but I will let her stop totally when she's ready. As far as signs, I imagine LO will just stop asking! I haven't really offered milk since I worked out her hunger cues.