Think my husband is dissapointed he's not getting a son...

[disneydarling]

We had our gender scan last night and found out we are expecting a second daughter! I'm thrilled, but my husband has seemed quite down since we found out and I don't know how to try and help.

He is super close with his dad, they work together, so he spends more time with his dad than he does with me. He has talked for years about how he wants to have the same relationship with his own son one day. His brother has 2 daughters and his sister has 2 daughters, so when we had our first daughter it was quite funny because there are just so many girls in the family.

When we fell pregnant this time we were convinced it would finally be time for the first boy! Since we found out that she's a girl, he's been so quiet and I think he feels upset but never would admit it, especially since I'm so happy about it. I want to try and be there for him and he can tell me how he feels, but it's difficult to know what to say because I don't really understand how he's feeling because I've never felt like that. I think he really wanted to be the one to get to say to his parents they are finally having a grandson.

I think he is also concerned about if his relationship with our daughter will change. She is such a daddy's girl they are best friends, and he's said to me before that he would prefer not to have another girl because he wants to keep the daddy-daughter bond just the two of them.

Sorry that was so long, I'm going to talk to him tonight when he gets in from work. Just needed to share because I've been worrying about it.

 

[Unexpected212]

My dad had two girls and he honestly doesn't regret not having a son. He said when my sister was born he did think 'Oh now I never get a son' but she soon had him wrapped around her little finger and it wasn't something he even thought about until I had his first grandchild...a grandson and he's happy he gets to experience a boy but wouldn't change having us.

It's normal to worry about all these things. I'm having my third, a second boy and I think how can I love him as much as my first boy as we have such a special bond..but I will I'm sure.

All you can do is talk to him, be there for him and I'm sure once she's here he'll be fine.

I totally understand mourning the gender you won't ever get to have but still loving the ones you do have.

 

[kerrymom]

Your husband sounds like a warm, caring person, and a loving father. I have two girls and they are best friends. Having a second child is difficult; you do tend to wonder how things will change and how it will affect your relationship with your first child. Also, if you do have a loving bond with your first child it's hard to imagine having that with this new person that you haven't even met yet!
My advice is to give your husband the opportunity to talk, if he wants to. When that baby is born he will begin a lifelong love affair with her, and that can never be replaced.

 

[disneydarling]

Update: I spoke to him last night about it and he admitted it has been difficult for him to accept he's probably never going to have a son (we haven't ruled out trying for a third one day, but we can't say that it will definitely happen). It was a big thing for him to say he was actually upset because he normally is super positive about everything. I totally told him that it's ok to feel like that, and it doesn't mean he loves this baby girl any less because it's a separate feeling to the sadness of not having a boy.

He also said he imagined how excited his parents would be to have a grandson, and now he won't get to tell them that. I'm sure they will laugh though when they find out that their 6th grand daughter is in the way, the girls are taking over!!!

After we talked about it he seemed a lot happier so hopefully once he's had a bit of time to get over the dissapointment of no boy, he will manage to be just as excited as I am about our girl!

 

[Misscalais]

Aww big hugs!.
My hubby was the opposite, he really wanted a daughter. So imagine the disappointment when we found out our 3rd was another boy.
Fast forward almost 2 years and he loves all 3 boys to the moon and back and has never shown any form of GD towards them. We got pregnant again by accident and we are having a girl this time!
On my mums side of the family there were 9 granddaughters before the 1st grandson lol and theres only 3 grandsons on that side and 12 granddaughters. My nan and pop had 4 girls and one boy, same as my mum.
Once bub arrives im sure he will be just so smitten by his new little girl

 

[MeaganMackenz]

My husband and I were the same way over our third girl. We felt the same sort of loss. I haven't wrote off having another but I think he has so we took some time to settle into the idea. Now that she's here and almost 1 they are closer than I am. I don't think he'd change having 3 girls now that that's our family.

As well as my family. My grandma had only my mom, my mom only had me and I only had girls. My grandfather (married to grandma well before I came) brought 2 sons to the marriage and an adopted daughter and all 3 of them have girls. In that circle of our family there are no little boys. Honestly, my mom and grandma tell me all the time they would have had no idea what to do with a little boy lol.

You both will be fine It's sad for a bit but then the pink dresses and dolls and blankets start coming and suddenly, if you're like me, you can't imagine blue and trains and trucks lol.

Good luck.