Those with toddlers - plans for childcare when in labour?

[honeysuede]

Hi, I am 36 weeks tomorrow. We are pretty prepared for our little boy but we have one huge stumbling block - If I go into labour at night no one can look after my 2.5 year old. I like to be organised and with labour being so unpradictable I am finding it so hard not having a set plan. There are people that can help but it all depends on timing. My DS could be with his dad as I am due on a weekend that he sees him, or he could be at nursery as he goes 2.5 days a week. I just don't know and it is really stressing me out as the reality is that if I go into labour and need to be in hospital between say 11pm-6am, no one can sit with him. And a home birth is not an option due to me being high risk
I guess I just wondered what everyone else's plans are and really I needed to vent my worries as it is getting to me big time
xxxx

 

[RaspberryK]

Wouldn't his dad have him? No grandparents or close friends around? Xx

 

[Jen_H]

I haven't much advice as I'm in a similar situation myself. Its a nightmare not knowing when it will happen and being able to plan! I'm finding it so stressful as I don't even think my hubby will be around!
Night times aren't so much of an issue for me as I have a selection of friends that could come and sit in the house (fingers crossed my 2 stay asleep lol or someone will have a hard time!) - they have offered even for middle of night. Do you have a friend who could be on call and do that could do that? x

 

[honeysuede]

Thanks for your rpelies
DS' dad is not the most reliable and when he is asleep he is dead to the world so I just know he won't answer his phone, his mum would do it but she is in her 70's and won't drive in the dark. She is healthy and reliable so she will be my best best if it's not nighttime - so realy what I need is a friend, like you, to come and sit with DS until daylight and then do the handover. Trouble is my local friends work different shifts & they don't all drive so it really will be call around on the night and pray My sister recently moved to Norfolk with my mum and nan and they were a so close to me and I had a great support network put I feel it has all been taken from under my feet with them all moving away. I know these things have a habbit of working themselves out I just hate the unceertainty. I didn't know my sister was moving until I was 6 months pregnant.
xxx

 

[Jen_H]

Its so hard isn't it. I hate not knowing or being able to plan! Plus you really don't want the worry, on top of labour, of your other baby!

What about this https://www.emergencychildcare.co.uk
I was just looking - not sure how good/useful it would be. But like you I have no family around, hubby will be working away and most of my friends hubby also work away, which means whilst I've lots of childcare offers none are concrete!
Was you first labour quick? Do you have much time to get someone there? xx

 

[londonangel]

My plan was that if I went into labour at night DH would stay with E and join me at hospital at a time when she would have had some decent sleep eg 6am and would take her with him if need be. Or he would take her to nursery at 8am and hope baby not arrived by then. We would have phoned my mum and dad too but they are 3.5 hr drive away. I am due tomorrow so parents coming to visit for week and hope will go into labour then but if not my mum will stay a few days so can look after Eleanor until baby has arrived.

 

[mummytobe_93]

I have my parents and sisters on stand by.

I'm sure it will work itself out do you have any friends you'd trust to have your toddler? Xx

 

[katestar53]

How about any mummy freinds that coudl help out? They would understand your stress the most

 

[Dolly84]

Well ds will be just turned 19 months when I go into labour, luckily my mum and dad live just round the corner so if I go into labour in the day they can have him at their bungalow, or if I go in the night, mum and dad will come round to our house until ds wakes up then take him to their house. If there is any problems my brother only lives 5 mins away and has offered to help but he has 4 kids already so prefer ds to stay with his nana and grandad. Xxx hope you get your situation sorted soon xxx

 

[Eleanor ace]

Could your OH drive your LO to his dads (or get a taxi if he doesn't drive) and bang on the door to wake him up? Or take your LO to his nans, or go and collect her to bring her to yours if she'd stay at your house with LO? Otherwise (if there is no one else who could look after LO) your OH could stay with him until morning when someone else can take over and then join you at the hospital if you haven't had the baby yet.

 

[Button#]

I'm hoping it won't be an issue as I'm planning for a home birth but if not I have one mum friend I would be comfortable leaving DS with and DH. There's a chance DH may end up missing the birth but I wouldn't be able to relax if I didn't know DS is in safe hands. Unfortunately all our family live a four hour drive away and the only family member we have closer will most likely be abroad and probably wouldn't cope looking after DS anyway.

 

[RaspberryK]

I'd drive lo to the nan in a situation like yours.

xx

 

[Feronia]

I'm planning for my 2-year-old daughter to be there for my home birth. She's watched a ton of birth videos and understand what sort of things will happen and what noises I might be making, and she's really excited! I'm hoping that witnessing her sibling's birth might help her adjust. I do have a friend on call for backup in case she needs extra attention.

 

[CoffeePuffin]

Hubby's Dad and partner will be having DD when I go into labour. They've said even if they're in a meeting at work, or asleep at night, they will come straight away and get her once I need to go to hospital. So I'm quite lucky.

 

[Tattoo]

I'm fortunate in that my parents live about ten minutes away in one direction, and my in-laws are about fifteen minutes in the other direction! My mum is the first port of call when labour gets underway, with mil next in line. My labour two years ago was only four hours, so I probably won't have much time to get sorted before needing to go to the hospital.

 

[DebbieF]

My in laws will come to our house and stay with dd. I am quite nervous about it as I have never left her for more than a few hours.

 

[Radkat]

I agree with PP who said for DH to drive LO to nan's. Maybe the ex can get out of bed and go help.

My bro and SIL took my niece to the hospital as they didn't have time to drop her off anywhere (SIL didn't think she was in labor, but went by her dr's to check, dr sent them all directly to the hospital). The nurses looked after her until her parents could make the 3 hour trip to the hospital to pick her up. My nephew was born by then. Nurses entertained my niece and she thought it was cool to be there. Not ideal, but as a last resort.

If LO comes early, DH will have drive DD 1.5 hour round trip to our friend's house. My parents will be in town once I'm 39+5. It's certainly tricky.

 

[MeaganMackenz]

We were in a pickle about my youngest who is 3. She's a handful and a bit more then my mom can take (she also cares for my dad ft with dementia). She can take my 6 yr old but not my 3 yr old. So we weren't sure what to do. We have 2 other options for her but 1 depends on if hubby's sister is working and the other I thought depended on if my gf and her so were working too. We told them the issue and she said she'd call in to work if I needed it. I thought that was amazing. They have 3 kids of their own who are best friends with my girls so that was amazing but up until she said that we really thought hubby would have to stay home with her if baby came at an un opportune time.

 

[curlykate]

I was freaking out about this until yesterday, as my in-laws just returned from a trip to Cuba. I was so worried I was going to go super early and have no one to watch DS.
The plan was always to have my MIL come here to stay with DS. As he goes to school during the day, if it was a week day, she just had to be here to get him off the bus and stay with him. OH works 3 hours out of town, and my parents live 1.5 hours out of town. I was so worried while they were gone that my water was going to break, or I'd start labour in the middle of the night and I'd end up having to take DS with me until OH could get home. Now that my in-laws are back home, I can rest easy. Even if it's the middle of the night, they will come and stay with Devin, and OH can drive the distance to meet me at the hospital.

 

[honeysuede]

Thanks for all your replies
I spoke to my brother & his fiance. They both have very busy full time jobs but could help in the night if needs be and wait until the nan can take over in the morning. It's not a definite but it's an option which makes me feel so much better. And I spoke to the ex today who said he will help if he can, but sadly he isn't always reliable.
Neither me or OH drive which is usually not a problem but makes these situations a litle more tricky
xxx