Thoughts on this....??

[MizzDeeDee]

I get what you're saying. Most mammal parents have to eventually discourage their offspring from continuing to nurse. I just don't know what age that would be appropriate to wean in humans because you will literally get several different answers depending upon who you speak to. At this point in society it's more about the mother and what she deems appropriate I guess.

Whew! Glad you understood! lol!

I might be detecting some sarcasism.....................

 

[lisaf]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dh-HYZZTdAQ&feature=related

skip to 5mins that looks totally horrendous to me. Its so much kinder on both parties to just let them self wean. Chances are if she left her babies a bit longer (under a year) then they'd have weaned themselves and they wouldnt have had screaming, crying from both mum and toddlers and being awake all night

a) am I the only one disturbed by the woman talking about her HUSBAND drinking some of her milk from the breast?!?! (if the husband was seriously ill and needed it to help keep any food down, I actually wouldn't have a problem with it)

b) I don't find it that heartbreaking... kids cry like that when you take away a toy or don't let them have dessert etc. Possibly not for as long, but I also think that relying so heavily on the boob to soothe them created the dependence. I've seen kids cry like that over being switched from a bottle to a cup etc.
You also missed the part where the mom was NOT happy breastfeeding anymore, that she was not able to spend much quality time with her older children, her relationship with her husband was suffering etc. It also seems like she wasn't gradually cutting back on nursing time, but cut it off abruptly which is probably what made it extra hard.
The other woman featured had an 8 year old still nursing, so its not a given that these twins would have self-weaned in less than a year.

Not trying to be argumentative, but I do hate when people see a child crying and just want to give them whatever it is that they want to avoid 'hurting' them.
I have no problem with EBFing either, just that this mom shouldn't feel guilty for stopping in order to keep from upsetting her kids.

 

[lisaf]

I get what you're saying. Most mammal parents have to eventually discourage their offspring from continuing to nurse. I just don't know what age that would be appropriate to wean in humans because you will literally get several different answers depending upon who you speak to. At this point in society it's more about the mother and what she deems appropriate I guess.

Whew! Glad you understood! lol!

I might be detecting some sarcasism.....................

lol, nope!! Just relief! These topics are so touchy its easy to get misunderstood and set off a barrage of comments without meaning to!

 

[MizzDeeDee]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dh-HYZZTdAQ&feature=related

skip to 5mins that looks totally horrendous to me. Its so much kinder on both parties to just let them self wean. Chances are if she left her babies a bit longer (under a year) then they'd have weaned themselves and they wouldnt have had screaming, crying from both mum and toddlers and being awake all night

a) am I the only one disturbed by the woman talking about her HUSBAND drinking some of her milk from the breast?!?! (if the husband was seriously ill and needed it to help keep any food down, I actually wouldn't have a problem with it)

b) I don't find it that heartbreaking... kids cry like that when you take away a toy or don't let them have dessert etc. Possibly not for as long, but I also think that relying so heavily on the boob to soothe them created the dependence. I've seen kids cry like that over being switched from a bottle to a cup etc.
You also missed the part where the mom was NOT happy breastfeeding anymore, that she was not able to spend much quality time with her older children, her relationship with her husband was suffering etc. It also seems like she wasn't gradually cutting back on nursing time, but cut it off abruptly which is probably what made it extra hard.
The other woman featured had an 8 year old still nursing, so its not a given that these twins would have self-weaned in less than a year.

Not trying to be argumentative, but I do hate when people see a child crying and just want to give them whatever it is that they want to avoid 'hurting' them.
I have no problem with EBFing either, just that this mom shouldn't feel guilty for stopping in order to keep from upsetting her kids.

NO. I brought that up to OH after i watched that. BF your husband is just bizzare to me.

 

[lisaf]

I think I could also understand if you were engorged and had NO other way of relieving the pressure.. then, ok, extreme circumstances and avoiding mastitis etc.. though hand-expressing would be preferable.

 

[Blah11]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dh-HYZZTdAQ&feature=related

skip to 5mins that looks totally horrendous to me. Its so much kinder on both parties to just let them self wean. Chances are if she left her babies a bit longer (under a year) then they'd have weaned themselves and they wouldnt have had screaming, crying from both mum and toddlers and being awake all night

a) am I the only one disturbed by the woman talking about her HUSBAND drinking some of her milk from the breast?!?! (if the husband was seriously ill and needed it to help keep any food down, I actually wouldn't have a problem with it)

b) I don't find it that heartbreaking... kids cry like that when you take away a toy or don't let them have dessert etc. Possibly not for as long, but I also think that relying so heavily on the boob to soothe them created the dependence. I've seen kids cry like that over being switched from a bottle to a cup etc.
You also missed the part where the mom was NOT happy breastfeeding anymore, that she was not able to spend much quality time with her older children, her relationship with her husband was suffering etc. It also seems like she wasn't gradually cutting back on nursing time, but cut it off abruptly which is probably what made it extra hard.
The other woman featured had an 8 year old still nursing, so its not a given that these twins would have self-weaned in less than a year.

Not trying to be argumentative, but I do hate when people see a child crying and just want to give them whatever it is that they want to avoid 'hurting' them.
I have no problem with EBFing either, just that this mom shouldn't feel guilty for stopping in order to keep from upsetting her kids.

Its not them screaming for a toy though, they're crying for milk. They're little more than babies & I said 'CHANCES ARE'. Children generally self wean before 3 or 4, its very unusual for an 8 year old to still want and be able to get BF.

 

[Blah11]

I wouldnt let OH breastfeed off me but EBM I wouldnt care, its just milk.

 

[MizzDeeDee]

I think I could also understand if you were engorged and had NO other way of relieving the pressure.. then, ok, extreme circumstances and avoiding mastitis etc.. though hand-expressing would be preferable.

Right. If you can believe it my mother suggested this to me.. to have Scott suck it out if I got engorged (which I never did by the way, tells you how my supply was).... I found that thought.....kinda bizzarre. Not to offend anyone, I just found that weird and as you said you could hand express.

Besides, that lady is clearly doing it for pleasure reasons. I don't get it.

 

[Blah11]

Must be awful to enjoy breastfeeding your child

 

[lisaf]

once its left my body, if DH wants it, he can have it, lol. He won't even lick his wrist after checking the temp of a EBM bottle

-I guess I still see it as kids crying for something they WANT, not something they NEED. They are being offered plenty of other comforts.
I do wonder if she could have done it more gradually etc. I also wonder if it might have been helpful to have mom around a little less so they weren't thinking about it or if being away from mom AND boob would have been extra hard?

 

[MizzDeeDee]

Must be awful to enjoy breastfeeding your child

Umm.. I was talking about the husband. Not the child.

 

[Blah11]

Oh, sorry. Yeah, I don't really agree with blurring the lines of BFing and sex :\ bit odd to me. I know men do find fertility sexy apparently and loads of men are turned on by pregnancy. idk.

 

[Natsku]

OH joked about breastfeeding from me but the one time he pretended to, Maria gave him such a dirty look he never did that again

Though honestly, if I had thought of that idea when I was engorged I prob would have let him if he wanted to - engorgment sucks!

 

[Blah11]

once its left my body, if DH wants it, he can have it, lol. He won't even lick his wrist after checking the temp of a EBM bottle

-I guess I still see it as kids crying for something they WANT, not something they NEED. They are being offered plenty of other comforts.
I do wonder if she could have done it more gradually etc. I also wonder if it might have been helpful to have mom around a little less so they weren't thinking about it or if being away from mom AND boob would have been extra hard?

Who is to say that they don't need it emotionally though? I feel the same about self settling to sleep - all children do it in their own time I don't see the need to rush it. Honestly its such a short time in our life as parents, can't we just sacrifice an unbroken sleep or spend 10 minutes breastfeeding our toddler at bedtime if they arent ready to do it without?

 

[lisaf]

I think that boils down to parental style like you said.
I didn't like the idea of CIO, but I do know that I have limits to patience and I think a short period of discomfort for a long-term pay-off is not a bad thing.
Our LO mostly self-settles.. if he's truly upset/screaming we go to him, but if he's just whining then we let him self-settle. Sometimes going to comfort him makes him MORE upset.

I know parents who are practically slaves to everything their child wants, and I've seen some bad results when those kids grow up. Many parents don't know when to stop treating their children like babies and create problems that are harder and more traumatic to solve later in life.

Again, not talking about EBF, just parental style in general. Not all baby-led parents will end up with those issues I've seen, there is a difference between permissive parenting and letting the kid do whatever they want all the time. And some people are just lucky and have a kid who will navigate through a baby-led parental style and naturally learn what they need to, some kids will learn all the wrong lessons and not know what boundaries are.
Hope that isn't offensive.

I just see that kids NEED boundaries, they NEED sleep they may WANT to stay up and play and they may cry when you make them go to bed, but that doesn't mean its a bad thing, you're doing what is best for them long-term over catering to their wishes in the moment.

 

[MizzDeeDee]

I think that boils down to parental style like you said.
I didn't like the idea of CIO, but I do know that I have limits to patience and I think a short period of discomfort for a long-term pay-off is not a bad thing.
Our LO mostly self-settles.. if he's truly upset/screaming we go to him, but if he's just whining then we let him self-settle. Sometimes going to comfort him makes him MORE upset.

I know parents who are practically slaves to everything their child wants, and I've seen some bad results when those kids grow up. Many parents don't know when to stop treating their children like babies and create problems that are harder and more traumatic to solve later in life.

Again, not talking about EBF, just parental style in general. Not all baby-led parents will end up with those issues I've seen, there is a difference between permissive parenting and letting the kid do whatever they want all the time. And some people are just lucky and have a kid who will navigate through a baby-led parental style and naturally learn what they need to, some kids will learn all the wrong lessons and not know what boundaries are.
Hope that isn't offensive.

I just see that kids NEED boundaries, they NEED sleep they may WANT to stay up and play and they may cry when you make them go to bed, but that doesn't mean its a bad thing, you're doing what is best for them long-term over catering to their wishes in the moment.

Well, I would certainly say that I am more into attached parenting..but that being said, I absolutely agree that children need structure. As she gets older I just won't give into her because she wants something. I think that there is a happy medium that can be established without giving up the attached parenting style.

 

[Blah11]

Ironically, my toddler has just self weaned i think. 2 whole days with no boob. Waah.

 

[lisaf]

aw

 

[Bunnipowder]

Its not something I would do and that's not ness cause of the child's age, but we are all allowed to raise our children our own way (within means) and the other lady had no right to pass comment she wasn't causing any harm to anyone.

 

[Eve]

That video is seriously sad... I wanted to cry for the poor babies They are just that, babies! I am so sick of people saying breastfeeding past 12-24 months is wrong/weird/gross etc..! Society today really pisses me off! I would have nursed the poor things