Thoughts on this....??

[Mum2b_Claire]

I have no opinion on it, really, it's none of anyones business. So what?? I don't understand why some people have such strong opinions on older children breastfeeding, especially when they say 'oh it must be just for comfort' like that somehow makes it bad??

It doesn't make it bad that it's for comfort, I just think by 4 a child needs to be able to be comforted by a variety of ways, not just BFing. If my LO cries now, I don't immediately feed him. I'll pick him up for a cuddle and hopefully that will calm him down. I don't see why a 4 year old needs to be BFed in public

But that's not saying it's bad or wrong! If you as the parent and your child are happy with it, then who am I to judge? But we were asked for opinions so I gave one

I'm sure the child CAN be comforted in a number of ways though. I'm sure she doesn't need to be fed in public either. But even so, so what. Why does it matter that it's not needed? Just interested, not picking on you because most people do seem to share your views.

No worries it's no fun if we all share the same opinion!

My thoughts are a bit jumbled on this, so apologies in advance.

I suppose my biggest feeling is that a child should have a more substantial relationship with their mother than just BFing. That's not to say that BFing relationships with older children aren't healthy or that they're detrimental, it's just that I'd like my son to be comforted by me, not my breasts, by the time he's 2/3. I think a morning/nap/bedtime feed are fine for as long as they continue, but I think the nursing because the child is scared/angry/injured should have been grown out of by then. If you compare it to dummy use (which I know isn't anything like the same, but fulfills a similar 'comfort' role) I would also expect a child of 2+ to be weaned, as sucking for comfort is for babies who have a suck reflex, not older toddlers and children.

There's also a feeling for me with an older child (school age) that perhaps it's not fair on them to still be BFing. If their friends knew, they'd probably be ridiculed, and I think the child should be weaned before their memories are formed. Old enough to remember the nice feeling associated with BFing, no so old they can remember doing it in the local park.

Does that make sense? Feel free to disagree!

I suppose my honest answer is 'because I'm conditioned by the society I live in'. But in that case I should be FFing, using a pushchair and disposable nappies, so I think there is a bit more to my opinion than just societal norms. Seeing my SIL bf her 2.5 year old has basically shown me that's not what I want to be doing. She was getting 'fed' more often than my then 7 month old. I just felt she was subsitituting BFing for cuddles, and that didn't sit right with me

But, as you say, each to their own!

Having not managed to successfully BF myself I can't really meaningfully disagree about the idea that you'd like LO to be comforted by you rather than just your breasts, as all I can think is that I'd love to comfort my child with my breasts (she wouldn't latch) So maybe I am slightly guilty of idealising BFing but even so, maybe it's the things such as school at 4, idea that children should be independent, that are 'wrong' or unnatural rather than extended BFing?

 

[Blah11]

I dont think its fair to assume that because she BF that one time in public that her LO is only comforted by her breasts. Cant the LO be comforted by both? Why does it need to be one or the other if theyre both happy?

 

[EllaAndLyla]

If the child is not ready to stop then so be it! No one should be rude about it. Each to their own and all, but saying it to her in such a rude way is just mean!! x

 

[patch2006uk]

that ticker needs changed, its 32 now

Oh, well that's just gross then

I have no problem with the thought of a feed or 2 a day for a 2/3 year old (maybe even older, but I don't think that's for me personally) but I won't be shouting it from the rooftops either

 

[Reid]

Me myself I wouldn't do it at that age I think its a bit old 2 still breast feed thing is ppl always feel they have a right 2 say something 2 ppl I wouldn't have as its not my business but have 2 admit I would have double taked if I'd seen it xx

 

[tina3747]

Hey ladies, I don't want to argue through lack of sleep and a pain in the ass 4 month old . All' MY OPINION' is that a child who is eating a *healthy balanced diet* doesn't NEED breastmilk.. That's a difference to wanting to have it or do it.
If Someone wants to bf their kids till their 30 it's their business not mine! Anyway what do I know.. I'm a f feeder who jacked in the boob at 6 weeks!!

 

[mummy2be...]

Wowzers! I've only been away from my computer for a few hours, just so you all know I have shown my friend this thread and the responses, she is so comforted by the support from you ladies on here, so comforted i believe she'll probably sign up to B&B now. Cheers girls and thanks for playing nice also- was a bit nervous we have another 'mcdonalds' on our hands when I stared this one

 

[tu123]

Her response was out of order-miserable old bat!

Surely it all comes down to the fact that n our "society" it isnt the norm. But in other societies it is acceptable. It is a shame.

I would have happily fed my daughter through the toddler years by boob if i was able to. At least i would know where the milk had come from and what it had in it!

But maybe i am biased as i failed and was eternally attatched to an industrial breast pump. Maybe i would feel differently if i was still BF.

 

[brunette&bubs]

TBH, I would never.
But thats just me and my personal opinions. I have certain reasons for not wanting to BF until the age of 4.

BUT, to each their own.
I don't consider it my right to go up to someone and tell them they are disgusting for doing so.

 

[Bartness]

How many of the fromula feeding moms would give a four year old a bottle in public? I will not give Jaxon a bottle in public past age 1. I find it strange for a toddler to havea bottle (a nuk, or dummy too) past age one in public.

I feel the same about breast feeding. But I dont think its wrong to do extended breast feeding at all. I think its great, keep up the good work. (however, I can see where if you were flying, well thats a different scenario all togther, I woudl probably give a bottle, so I wouldnt think odd to bf).

 

[mummy2be...]

How many of the fromula feeding moms would give a four year old a bottle in public? I will not give Jaxon a bottle in public past age 1. I find it strange for a toddler to havea bottle (a nuk, or dummy too) past age one in public.

I feel the same about breast feeding. But I dont think its wrong to do extended breast feeding at all. I think its great, keep up the good work. (however, I can see where if you were flying, well thats a different scenario all togther, I woudl probably give a bottle, so I wouldnt think odd to bf).

OT but your little boy is sooooooooo cute!!! X

 

[tu123]

How many of the fromula feeding moms would give a four year old a bottle in public? I will not give Jaxon a bottle in public past age 1. I find it strange for a toddler to havea bottle (a nuk, or dummy too) past age one in public.

I feel the same about breast feeding. But I dont think its wrong to do extended breast feeding at all. I think its great, keep up the good work. (however, I can see where if you were flying, well thats a different scenario all togther, I woudl probably give a bottle, so I wouldnt think odd to bf).

LO is just 11mths and still only having a few ounces by cup or beaker a day, so i WILL give her a bottle past one.

I just dont see how ALL babies suddenly wake up at 12mths and one day suddenly able to drink all their fluids from a cup or beaker.

I already get a few "looks" as LO is the size of a three year old, but it is right for her IYKWIM?

 

[Bartness]

How many of the fromula feeding moms would give a four year old a bottle in public? I will not give Jaxon a bottle in public past age 1. I find it strange for a toddler to havea bottle (a nuk, or dummy too) past age one in public.

I feel the same about breast feeding. But I dont think its wrong to do extended breast feeding at all. I think its great, keep up the good work. (however, I can see where if you were flying, well thats a different scenario all togther, I woudl probably give a bottle, so I wouldnt think odd to bf).

LO is just 11mths and still only having a few ounces by cup or beaker a day, so i WILL give her a bottle past one.

I just dont see how ALL babies suddenly wake up at 12mths and one day suddenly able to drink all their fluids from a cup or beaker.

I already get a few "looks" as LO is the size of a three year old, but it is right for her IYKWIM?

She's 11 mths old, tell those people giving you weird looks to F-off. LOL.
Jaxon loves his sippy cup, he only uses bottles at nap time and bed time. We'll probably start weaning him off that once he hits a year.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

I always hated giving a bottle in public personally and threw Ruby's away as soon as she was happy not to have them. IMO, that's very different to the argument about breastfeeding.

 

[Blah11]

Amelie took water from a sippy at 5.5 months but she flat out refused to take EBM from it I used to express a feed for nursery (started at 10m) but it always went in the bin so I stopped. She wouldnt ever take a bottle either. She has a drink of cows milk in a cup now although she does want it to be strawberry flavour haha

 

[Bartness]

I always hated giving a bottle in public personally and threw Ruby's away as soon as she was happy not to have them. IMO, that's very different to the argument about breastfeeding.

It maybe different, but its also relevent. A lot of people say its wrong to FF, and even more say its wrong to BF. However, as different as they are, they are both doing the same thing. Feeding your baby, giving them nutrition. There for I would treat them the same, in my thoughts of using a bottle or having a booby feed in public. But maybe Im just a strange cut of wood? Well...actually that is true....I am strange....

 

[Palestrina]

I think it's important that we step in to stop a parent who is abusing their child. I don't like to see a mother who hits her kids or curses at them or yells at them in an appropriate manner and I for one have interfered in situations like this. But BF a 4yr old does not fall under the category of abuse. I personally would not BF a 4yr old because it is my own personal opinion that a child does not need a memory of BF which would be unavoidable at age 4, but would certainly never lecture a stranger in public as it's none of my business.

I found breast feeding weird when my daughter was 3 days old...I know it may seem odd but I see my breasts as a sexual thing, and a thing for mine and my husbands sex life! I certainly wouldn't breast feed a 4 year old and think it's creepy to be honest... :-/ that's my opinion though. That 4 year old is at school - i bet none of his friends are still sucking on their mums boobs.

I understand we all have the right to our own opinions but I find statements like this inappropriate and disrespectful. You make it seem like we BF moms are getting sexual pleasure from feeding our children and it's offensive. I find it sad for a woman to have a purely sexual fascination with her breasts and not be able to appreciate the benefits of BF, even if she chooses not to BF. My relationship with my husband is separate from the BF relationship I have with my son, but they can and do co-exist in a healthy marriage not plagued by dysfunction. This statement "sucking on mums boobs" is uncalled for and something I'd expect from an immature foul-mouthed male teenager, not a mother.

 

[SackBoy]

I've seen loads of people give their 1-2 year olds a bottle. Tbh I see no problem with them having a bottle or dummy or whatever, if that's their source of comfort why be cruel and take it away?
Her LO may be comforted by many things but sometimes only one thing will comfort you, I remember being about 9 and when I wasn't feeling a 100% the only thing that would comfort me was a specific blanket.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

I always hated giving a bottle in public personally and threw Ruby's away as soon as she was happy not to have them. IMO, that's very different to the argument about breastfeeding.

It maybe different, but its also relevent. A lot of people say its wrong to FF, and even more say its wrong to BF. However, as different as they are, they are both doing the same thing. Feeding your baby, giving them nutrition. There for I would treat them the same, in my thoughts of using a bottle or having a booby feed in public. But maybe Im just a strange cut of wood? Well...actually that is true....I am strange....

ah don't worry I am sure it is me that is strange
No, really, there are disadvantages to continued bottlefeeding that don't apply to extended BFing so that's why I don't think they're comparable.

 

[Blah11]

BF doesnt mess teeth up like sucking a dummy or a bottle for prolonged periods of time does. I've seen loads of older babies and toddlers being given water or even worse juice in a bottle and just let to sip on it constantly. Terrible.