I might have a different, old school European view being German and a member of La Leche League
. Because of society's pressure however, something sadly effected my son's idea of breastfeeding and scared him deeply as he grew up being a bf baby and toddler...
I grew up seeing lots of bare boobs. In the 80's women were often topless at the beach. My mom and aunt were too. My parents played in a sports team so as a kid I saw all the ladies on the team naked in the shower. I was even allowed to peek into the men's shower. In my family we were nude in front of each other after taking a shower, it was totally normal even when my sister and I were grown. My sister especially did not care.
When I was a kid, there were breastfeeding women everywhere! Not covering. Granted not fully topless but one boob was clearly visible.
Fast forward to Germany now...I hardly EVER see anyone breastfeed in public. All I see is bottles. Not even covers really. And I feel the public view on nudity has changed also. No more topless women at beaches, not even little girls are topless. I have also grown to be less comfortable with nudity.
I dress very modest. I don't show cleavage, I don't wear anything too skin tight or sexed up. My husband isn't comfortable with it. He also does not want me to see male doctors, have male friends and he did have a big problem with breastfeeding in public. Because of him I tried to cover with blankets at first and hid in bathroom stalls or changing rooms. Breastfeeding was a total hassle when out. My son was just screaming his head off, he was getting hot under the cover, even with a new professional cover with an opening and did not understand why he was suddenly covered. The cover drew a ton of attention to us. People walked up to me and asked if the baby is okay under there or just tried to see what is underneath.
I ditched the cover and tried to bf with just a bib. My nervous husband always around me trying to shield me from people's views. He even parked the stroller in front of me so I could not be seen.
Eventually I became braver. The bib was only held in my hand just in case someone would try and glance at me, then I was able to stop using it and still no one could really see what was happening. I held my hand up if needed but my son's head covered most of my breasts. I would not leave public areas or cafe's anymore and just breastfeed right there, without a problem. No one gave me a problem either, some people were very nice about it and I got much less attention than covering up. The two shirt method was convenient but I felt restricted in my outfit choices. I was dressing more momsy than fashion blogger at the time. So I came up with ways of breastfeeding in dresses that had no opening. I would cover my legs and bottom with a baby blanket for example and simply pull up the whole dress like a shirt! Or I wore leggings and a top under a dress. That certainly did cause a bit of attention, not negatively but people were surprised. But I had to live comfortably. I can't throw away all my expensive dresses for the comfort of others or be unhappy with how I dress.
My son grew into a nursing toddler and I continued to NIP to set a good example. No one would openly bf a toddler in public aside from other la leche league members. I am sure many people thought I was ridiculous or the kid was way too old. But I refuse to give in to a society that has it all backwards and denaturalizes parenting while calling it "progress".
Women in the Middle Ages were able to whip out their boobs at any time, there is art of Mary breastfeeding a toddler baby Jesus with her breast showing and in the year 2015 we are more flustered by a woman exposing have a boob than naked girls on page 1 of newspapers (No joke we have this here).
A woman gets empowered to wear mini skirts, cleavage...but not to breatfeed. Feminists are often all about pointless nudity, a woman does not deserve to be harassed bc she dresses sexy...but breastfeeding? Haven't seen many fight for that.
We all know arguments for the mother not breastfeeding a baby in public...some are completely stupid so I won't even pick up on that but often people tell you to find a private area to bf.
So in a cafe that means getting up and going where? I have to let my coffee get cold, leave the table for a half hour so others don't have to see 2 inches of skin peaking out. With babies nursing often, guess how much time that takes out of your day.
Using a bottle is a common argument and as often as I was on the go with my son he would have mostly been bottle fee that way, probably refused my breasts and my supply was bordering low then so that would have diminished it. I also did not respokd to a pump. My son never had a bottle because I was unable to pump.
While I always covered up and don't think two breasts need to be out to feed...I honestly thing it should not be a problem if a woman does not cover up. I find it weird if a woman especially feels uncomfortable about seeing another grown woman naked...we are all girls aren't we? So to me that seems more like a problem the woman has with nudity. I also would not be shocked if my son saw naked breasts. They are feeding devices to him. And even if he were 8 or 10 or 13, I would laugh about it. Boys will look at boobs without our help, no reason to act like it it gross and maybe they will see them in more than one light as they grow up, as more than just something sexual, but also a body part, an organ, and mainly for feeding children.
Did I mention my husband has grown out of being so uncomfortable? I was even "allowed" a bit of cleavage and he does not care much about me covering anymore. He also felt uncomfortable about my breasts during Sex because of breastfeeding at first, but this problem also vanished over time.
Many are appauled by a toddler or older children breastfeeding in general. I usually give them some quick facts:
- It was normal in society until the turn of the new century, even considered the best and most natural thing by the ancients.
- Breastmilk adjusts it's benefits to the growing child into the third year or your child's life, so on their 4th birthday the milk still holds benefits but the composition will be the same.
- A human child's mouth palate is naturally designed for the child to nurse up until age 7. Then the child will not be able to suckle right and stimulate the supply well anymore. In nature a child would naturally wean between the ages of 3-6 with a few earlier or late exceptions.
So whatever a woman decides is entirely up to her, but DON'T judge if someone nurses for as long as nature will let them.
Some think that once your baby is older you can hold them off...but the response is much the same, they cry because they don't understand why you refuse something they love and need. Even my two year old toddler wasn't very understanding. When he got older I wasn't sure if I could still comfortably NIP. So I tried to tell him to wait to go into a dressing room or until we get home. You can't even imagine the heartbreak and tears bc he just would not understand why and what he did wrong. And I decided I just did not want to do this to him and fuck other people that don't even understand half of it. He stopped NIP when he was 3. We had one incident where a woman walked up to men on the train (I was seated alone even) and shamed me for breastfeeding an older kid. She called it "gross" and said he will grow up to be a weirdo. She was loud and really angry as if I had personally offended her. Other people got up and told her to keep walking. My toddler was very scared and startled. From then on he did not want people around when bf and when they stared he would look at them in anger and say "stop" or tell me he does not like the man or woman. You gotta imagine...a 3 year old telling you people are making him uncomfortable! He stopped nursing in public and instead nursed more at home (which wasn't comvenient bc he would make up for it by spending whole evenings latched on). Eventually he was nursing much less of course, mostly in the morning and evening.
Since getting pregnant he has asked a few times to NIP so I ket him, but the sad thing is he can now exactly tell me his worries and he is worried that people will see my boobs naked...which I think is so sad because I tried to raise him shielded from this superstition. I wanted him to see it as normal.
He also worries about people coming over and hurting me if they see I am NIP. Like it is something forbidden.
And for that reason I have vowed to breastfeed him AND the baby in public if needed, if he asks for it. Because if I can't change the mind of society, at least I can try to have my children grow up without that pressure and restriction. So if you hear about anyone nursing a 5 year old and a baby in public, possibly dressed very stylish and put together
that would be me.
It was our first outing and man she could make a noise when she was hungry. There was nothing else for it! Everyone admired the little baby and no one actually realised she was feeding. I headed to Costa to meet DH and he didnt realise I was feeding til about 5 minutes later 
