time for me to go...

Discussion in 'Long Term Trying To Conceive' started by Petal, Apr 5, 2009.

  1. Petal

    Petal TTC #1 since Sept 2007

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    I'm devastated right now. Things have been getting worse between me and DH for a few weeks, and we now decided on a trial separation - he has just left to go to his mum's. After 8 yrs of marriage I never thought the stresses of the 1 most natural thing (supposedly) in the world would be the cause of something like that.
    I thought I would get the support I needed from BnB since no-one in our families knows we have been TTC ( I told 1 friend and she is now 5mths preg and lives 300 miles away anyway) but it seems not. Some of my posts have been taken the wrong way (if they get a reply at all) and I only ever meant you guys the best. I don't know why things have turned out this way....
    Hope you all your BFPs real soon.
     
  2. Naaxi

    Naaxi 2 little raggamuffins

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    Hope the grass becomes greener where you are soon, hunny...
     
  3. DiddyDons

    DiddyDons Guest

    so sorry to hear this :sad1: :hugs:
     
  4. Aria

    Aria Guest

    Honey, you'll find all the support you need right here. So many people take for granted the ability to be able to have children easily and it's frustrating!!

    When going through the nightmare that is infertility, it is easy to become so preoccupied on the procedures that the couple forgets to take time for just each other, to go out to dinner without talking about the fertility problems. It's so easy to lose your relationship in all of this. Your husband needs a break. It's not that he doesn't love you, but he needs a vacation from this, and you would also benefit. While he's at his mother's house, try going on some dates with the explicit rule of NO fertility talk. Just take some time to remember what made each of you fall in love in the first place.

    When you've got a group of hormonal women, you're going to have those days when everyone is off the wall and get mad over the smallest thing. You're okay, Honey. :)
     
  5. JASMAK

    JASMAK Mom of three

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    I am sorry you don't feel that you are getting the support here. I think that we are a wonderful support system. I too don't talk about it in RL. But, I also see that you have made only 35 posts. It takes time to get to know people, and I am sorry, but I don't remember seeing you here much. I hope things get sorted for you, but it sounds like you aren't TTC right now. :hug:
     
  6. FJL

    FJL Heartbroken after m/c

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    I'm so sorry that you and DH are having such a terrible time, IF sure knows how to test our relationships and can certainly rip us apart.

    We're all here for you and I hope that your time away from DH is beneficial for yourself and your marriage and that you can work things out in the future.

    Thinking of you :hugs:
     
  7. WW1

    WW1 Mum to a little lady x

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    I'm sorry you're having such a hard time at the moment. It's so easy for ttc to take over and suddenly the strongest relationships we have in the world become jeopardised.

    As was mentioned in an earlier post, take the time to rediscover the reasons why you fell in love in the first place - without all the fertility stuff hanging over you. I'm sure it'll make you stronger in the long run - both as individuals and as a couple. When, in the future, you're holding your baby you'll know how much you fought and won!

    There are lots of people here on the site who can offer support and great advice. In my experience, there's always a listening ear and someone who has been through a similar experience. I also don't really talk about my situation in real life (as soon as you talk about TTC with anyone, all they then do is ask you if you're pg and why you're not drinking on a night out!) so it's good to be able to share online. I'm sorry if you feel people have not been supportive - give it a second go and I'm sure you'll feel differently.

    Lots of :hug: to you x
     
  8. Bexy

    Bexy Well-Known Member

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    Oh no Petal, sorry you don't feel you got any support...I've found BnB a good source for finding out what other peoples experiences on this rollercoaster ttc ride are...sorry you've not found that though :(

    I'm also sorry to hear of your trial seperation but hope that some time apart can make you re-discover the reason you got together in the first place (away from the ttc madness!)

    Take care honey and hope you come back soon with some good news all round

    :hug:

    xxx
     
  9. MommySierra

    MommySierra Guest

    THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL MADE ME CRY...I think I am going to do a date night with my husband, we are so preoccupied with ttc that we don't even go out like we used to anymore...I am ultra emotional today:cry:...I find this group to be very comforting and supportive, I am glad I found B&B.
    Petal, I hope things get better for you soon and you come back to us :) we are here for you even if its over a computer there are a lot of us with a lot more things in common that our own real life friends (thats what I have experienced)
    :hug:
     
  10. tansey

    tansey Finally a Mummy!

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    Sorry about you and your husband. Fertility problems can put this type of strain on any relationship. Can you get some counselling? THe break may give you both time to think and prioritise?
    Sorry, can't really tell you what to do but we are here to listen and make suggestions that you can take or leave.
    I hope it all works out for the best :hugs:
     
  11. MissMonty

    MissMonty Well-Known Member

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    Dear Petal, I'm sorry to hear you are having a bad time at the moment, I really hope things get better for you very soon.

    Please make sure you get some support from somewhere - I believe this is really important - you sounded upset in your post and it mad me feel sad to think you have no one to turn to.

    I too do not talk to anyone other than DH about TTC - I often find myself getting very down - I'm pretty much a lurker really on B&B but find reading other peoples experiences a great help.

    Thinking of you :hugs:
     
  12. Millnsy

    Millnsy Well-Known Member

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    Hey petal

    Its all been said I think but it sounds like a break will do you good... I personally find this board really keeps me sane but these forum places can sometimes be a bit daunting and sometimes it feels a teeny bit like a popularity contest (sorry ladies, please don't get offended!). Don't take any of it to heart, noone here really knows you but we can all empathise. Find comfort where you can and ignore what doesn't work for you.

    Good luck!
     

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