Tips for coping with 2??

[Rickles]

I'm a little nervous about having a toddler and a newborn... My DD is a real mummy's girl and I think this baby might be a rude awakening for her

So I was wondering if any of you lovely ladies with 2 LOs (or more!!) would mind sharing any useful tips / habits etc. you've picked up from all that multi-tasking?!?!

I guess I'm mostly thinking bath times, getting in and out the car, bedtimes, naps, sleeping, mealtimes ... Yep, pretty much anything and everything!!

I think if I was "just"(!!!) having a newborn again I wouldn't sweat it (I was terrified first time around) so hoping someone who has mastered 2 can reassure / help me out so I am less terrified and more looking forward to it!!

Figured I should ask before the third tri when we'll all be obsessing about labour signs and birth stories!

Thanks

 

[Lau88]

No advice but im in the same situation so just subscribing to the thread.

 

[EmzyJA]

I'm also in the same boat. I do often wonder how people manage with more than one. I'm sure we'll find our own ways of doing things but will be handy to have some tips. Especially when it comes to coping with little sleep, I'm terrible at that. I'm a horrible person when I'm tired I get so grumpy :-/

 

[NotNic]

I hear planning and organisation!! I'm also reassured by others that 2nd time around you're generally quicker at the changing nappies, bath time etc. so the tasks that would take all morning last time are far quicker. Unless your 2nd has high needs I'm told a lot that they just 'fit in' around your toddler, and you trust your own instincts more. Plus (in theory) they have more naps leaving more 1:1 time with your toddler and to do jobs. Luckily for me my son only slept through consistently from 18mths and is an early riser (5.15am atm) so I haven't really had the opportunity to get used to 'normal' sleep yet.

 

[MummyToAmberx]

I found 1 to 2 extremely easy and no where as tough as i expected.Was 24 months between mine, i think routine was best thing from early on.
They napped the same time most days. My oldest was in her own room, so wasnt a real problem. First week she'd wake up few times to baby crying but i expected that.

Really is you learn as you go on just like when your FTM only you know more

 

[hopefulfor1st]

I believe you just learn to cope cos u have to!

 

[Rickles]

I believe you just learn to cope cos u have to!

LOL - that's what my mum says!! I guess I'm just after any shortcuts!!
xx

 

[Pussy Galore]

Ooh I'll read this thread with interest too!

 

[ourturnnext]

I like this thread! My friend has a newborn and 22-month-old and although tired she's the picture of happiness and says new baby fitted into their lives straightaway and feels like he's always been there now.

I try not to think about how we will cope, I just know we will. DD is also mummy's little shadow so I'm going to encourage more daddy-daughter-time over the next few weekends.

 

[mmMlm]

Most of it is just getting into a routine and your toddler getting used to the idea of sharing.
When you have time (ie when baby is napping), you can cut up some fruit or veggies so that it is easy to take out a snack for your toddler 1-handed.
The big activity books with colouring and stickers can come out when you have to feed the baby.
You can also have a "special" basket of new toys that your toddler can play with when you are busy with the baby.
Also, don't be afraid to involve your older child when changing, feeding, etc with the baby - they can "help" to bring diapers, sing a song with them for the baby, and just talk with them so they aren't so left out. If you are breastfeeding, once you get the hang of it, you can totally read books with your toddler while feeding.

Don't worry too much, it is hard in the very beginning but quickly gets better. My first was really jealous and a very bad sleeper, I would sit in her room feeding the baby while she fell asleep. You will find a routine that works for you and your kids!

 

[Leliana]

I am watching this with interest too - there will be 23 months between my two and whilst I am not too worried about caring for a newborn this time around, I am worried about how I will balance that with a very fiesty toddler! Thanks for the tips ladies

 

[superfrizbee]

Another stalker! My dd is also a mummies girl and dh works long hours. I'm planning on getting a sling! one I can BF in too, as well as a toy baby and pram for dd, plus easy toys we can do while I'm feeding like books and stickers! at bath time im planning to bath both together then get baby out and ready in the bathroom while dd plays some more in the tub. would love to hear anyone else's advice though!

 

[Spiffynoodles]

My two are 16 months apart, so it was pretty much chaos for the first little while! I BF'ed DS for 4.5 months, so during the times when I was stuck feeding him, I'd bloack off the living room so that I could see what my DD was doing, which saved me from running after her with a baby attached to my boob. DD didn't take to her baby brother very well at first, and would try to push him and hit him a lot, which I found pretty difficult, but she also had her sweet moments when she'd want to hug and kiss him.

I'd say it gets easier once the new baby can sit up, because then they'll be more easily entertained, especially watching your older one run around. And then when the second one becomes mobile, it gets way easier! I know a lot of people worry about chasing two kids, but I find that most of the time, my DS just wants to crawl after DD and see what she's doing. But mostly, it helped because then I think DD started to see him as more of an "equal" since he could start keeping up with her.

Naps: you just have to try and work both kids naps in, and once they start napping at the same time for a little bit each day, it's heaven!

Mealtime: once your little one is able to do solids, try to feed them at the same time, so that you have them both "trapped" in highchairs at the same time. Makes it a lot easier for me! (I would also try to breastfeed my little one while the older was in her highchair, too, whenever it happened to work out that way.)

Getting in and out of the car: I make my DD climb in the car by herself, so that she's busy with that while I strap in DS. Once he's in, I buckle up DD. It's usually not an issue.

Sleep: If your DH can let you get a nap or a sleep-in every now and then, TAKE IT! It will save your life.

So in summary: the first 4-5 months are hard. There's a lot of juggling and figuring out routines and not very much sleep (since it's hard to nap with a toddler around) but after that point, I found that it only got better. Now that they're 2 and nearly 1, it's usually not bad at all.

And if nothing else, just take heart from the fact that I'm doing it all again so it must not have been TOO bad!

 

[Rickles]

My two are 16 months apart, so it was pretty much chaos for the first little while! I BF'ed DS for 4.5 months, so during the times when I was stuck feeding him, I'd bloack off the living room so that I could see what my DD was doing, which saved me from running after her with a baby attached to my boob. DD didn't take to her baby brother very well at first, and would try to push him and hit him a lot, which I found pretty difficult, but she also had her sweet moments when she'd want to hug and kiss him.

I'd say it gets easier once the new baby can sit up, because then they'll be more easily entertained, especially watching your older one run around. And then when the second one becomes mobile, it gets way easier! I know a lot of people worry about chasing two kids, but I find that most of the time, my DS just wants to crawl after DD and see what she's doing. But mostly, it helped because then I think DD started to see him as more of an "equal" since he could start keeping up with her.

Naps: you just have to try and work both kids naps in, and once they start napping at the same time for a little bit each day, it's heaven!

Mealtime: once your little one is able to do solids, try to feed them at the same time, so that you have them both "trapped" in highchairs at the same time. Makes it a lot easier for me! (I would also try to breastfeed my little one while the older was in her highchair, too, whenever it happened to work out that way.)

Getting in and out of the car: I make my DD climb in the car by herself, so that she's busy with that while I strap in DS. Once he's in, I buckle up DD. It's usually not an issue.

Sleep: If your DH can let you get a nap or a sleep-in every now and then, TAKE IT! It will save your life.

So in summary: the first 4-5 months are hard. There's a lot of juggling and figuring out routines and not very much sleep (since it's hard to nap with a toddler around) but after that point, I found that it only got better. Now that they're 2 and nearly 1, it's usually not bad at all.

And if nothing else, just take heart from the fact that I'm doing it all again so it must not have been TOO bad!

Thanks - and bloody hell!! You're a hardcore momma 3 in 3 years wow!

 

[ItsJana]

Like Spiffynoodles my first two are 16 months apart, my 1st is a little different I don't know if it's because she was a premie but at 16 months she was still taking 2 naps, and has always been a generally calm child. However, she did not like being a big sister at first, when her baby sister was around she'd walk away from us and play with her toys. After a couple of weeks she approached her little sister on her own and developed the habit of poking her (gently) and laughing. They are now best friends (and enemies sometimes too).

For food prep my older DD loved cheese and grapes for a snack so I would cut cheese cubes into a container and have that last for a few days, it was much easier to just pull something from the fridge and place it on a plate. I did this with this grapes too. The key for me was finding a snack that was healthy and not easily made a mess. I made dinner during their nap and always made extra for lunch the following day.

Car seats weren't a problem little one was in a bucket seat and I put her in inside the house, the older one needed to be lifted into her car seat, but that wasn't a problem.

For me the hardest part was going out with both of them in a stroller as they got a bit older.

Like Spiffynoodles, I'd say that if you can get them on the same or very similar schedule, you will have made your life much much easier.

 

[tinker81]

Anyone have any tips on coping with 4 under 4's lol my mum says you cope because you have too!! But just prepare the night befor helps alot! Xx

 

[Elljo3]

One thing I was told when expecting my second was that if the baby is crying but. Y child needs me then go to the child as they no you are there but the baby doesn't. X

 

[tinker81]

Anyone have any tips on coping with 4 under 4's lol my mum says you cope because you have too!! But just prepare the night befor helps alot! Xx

 

[tinker81]

Anyone have any tips on coping with 4 under 4's lol my mum says you cope because you have too!! But just prepare the night befor helps alot! Xx