Tired of the newbies. Tired of this journey.

[ProfWife]

Ltruns...yup. I still love when I get "advice" from one of the super-fertile women I know.

My "favorite" to date is when I had one person actually tell me that she understands how if feels to feel like your body isn't cooperating on a basic level, how heart breaking it is for me...because her milk didn't come in for her newborn. Yeah, my inability to conceive and the heartbreak I feel when my period comes each month as I sob myself to sleep after another failed cycle is JUST like the necessity you have to use formula for your precious baby. Still irritates me just to think about it.

Same woman also tells me she understands because it took her over a year to conceive...however, they were actually NTNP (not temping, timing, ov kits or anything) until the last few months before they conceived. Meanwhile, I've temped, peed on sticks, had blood tests, etc. for 15 cycles...hardly the same.

 

[treasured]

Totally know how you feel about people thinking they know how we feel. We were trying to keep our TTC private and I'm glad we did because I don't like the fact that everyone would know we are failing, but I have told a few friends there are some problems and they just tell me not to worry and give me all the adopting / offering to be my surrogate crap! As if they would actuallly ever do it if I asked.

I am so far past the symptom spotting stage but kind of got back into it a little this month, purely because OH was back the weekend of ovulation haha. Although we have a girl staying in our spare room while OH is away who I have become good friends with and she was also getting weird symptoms so we were spotting together haha! She isn't pregnant though, which I am selfishly happy about, (although her and her boyfriend aren't trying anyway)

I have aching boobs though, which is kinda normal for me before AF but a part of me got slightly excited haha!

Hope everyone is well x

 

[beegray]

Ltruns...yup. I still love when I get "advice" from one of the super-fertile women I know.

My "favorite" to date is when I had one person actually tell me that she understands how if feels to feel like your body isn't cooperating on a basic level, how heart breaking it is for me...because her milk didn't come in for her newborn. Yeah, my inability to conceive and the heartbreak I feel when my period comes each month as I sob myself to sleep after another failed cycle is JUST like the necessity you have to use formula for your precious baby. Still irritates me just to think about it.

Same woman also tells me she understands because it took her over a year to conceive...however, they were actually NTNP (not temping, timing, ov kits or anything) until the last few months before they conceived. Meanwhile, I've temped, peed on sticks, had blood tests, etc. for 15 cycles...hardly the same.

Normally I don't post here, and THIS is the reason why I hardly used to post here in this specific forum.... honestly, just because i chose NOT to do all that does not mean i struggled any less. I never judged any woman who chose to do the temping and OPKs, for me it would have just been more frustrating as i have PCOS. But by no means was my struggle any less because i didn't use those things. I used other cues as to when i was fertile, but even then i didn't do it for long because the heavy frustration is caused me. it took us 3 years and one miscarriage before my daughter, i cried myself to sleep for nights on end, i was severely depressed, and even at one stage refused to go anywhere but to work and back because i didn't want to see any pregnant women. I'm sorry but just because you are doing it the 'proper' way does not diminish anyone elses struggles. I fought bloody hard to have my baby!

 

[ProfWife]

Beegray - It's not minimizing her at all. SHE is the one who put herself in that level. They weren't even calling what they did trying...they weren't even upset at the end of a month when her cycle started. They just moved on.

I'm sorry for what you went through, but her story and yours are very different. She went through NONE of what you went through. I was with her and talked with her about it frequently. Had you shared your story before lighting into me, I would have supported you as well (rather than lecturing).

So, please don't put me in any area that minimizes a single person is actually struggling with the infertility and going through depression as a result. I am there. I feel it. Your post, however, has now closed off this thread and others like it to me as apparently I can't do any venting over where I am because it wouldn't "compare" to the struggle others. You are on the other side. I'm in the middle of it.

I have no support other than these forums, but apparently even here I have to "watch myself."

 

[beegray]

Beegray - It's not minimizing her at all. SHE is the one who put herself in that level. They weren't even calling what they did trying...they weren't even upset at the end of a month when her cycle started. They just moved on.

I'm sorry for what you went through, but her story and yours are very different. She went through NONE of what you went through. I was with her and talked with her about it frequently. Had you shared your story before lighting into me, I would have supported you as well (rather than lecturing).

So, please don't put me in any area that minimizes a single person is actually struggling with the infertility and going through depression as a result. I am there. I feel it. Your post, however, has now closed off this thread and others like it to me as apparently I can't do any venting over where I am because it wouldn't "compare" to the struggle others. You are on the other side. I'm in the middle of it.

I have no support other than these forums, but apparently even here I have to "watch myself."

By no means what i was saying was that u couldn't vent your frustrations at all, i've been there, i've raged pretty much about anything when it came to infertility! and now i see where u are coming from in regards to this lady and maybe i shouldn't have jumped on that band wagon too quick but i have been told time and time again, "well you not REALLY trying then," when i said i wasn't temping or doing opks, so sorry for jumping to conclusions, it just hurts when people began to minimize my suffering because we had not been doing things like them. and it just felt like that was what you were saying that because she hadn't been doing that she wasn't really suffering. I really didn't mean to jump to conclusions, and i really hope your miracle comes your way soon, it's horrible to be stuck in this time of your life and the uncertainty and the bitterness that comes with it can drive you batty.