To know or not to know???

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by aussiemum, Jan 31, 2011.

  1. aussiemum

    aussiemum Mother of 4 boys

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    So I really want to know the sex (this our #5), I have never found out with any of the others. I have 4 boys already and I am not fussed either way this time as each has its pros and cons lol. But hubby doesn't want to find out!!:shrug::shrug:
     
  2. kanga

    kanga Mummy Wummy

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    To know all the way, imo!

    You could alwyas find out and not tell hubby? x
     
  3. Florabelle

    Florabelle Proud mama

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    This is our first and we're opting not to know. Hubby initially wanted to them changed his mind and decided that it would be nicer as a surprise.

    I work as a nanny and my boss has 5 boys. She found out with all of them as she could stop people saying "I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that this is a girl". They were never bothered either way, they just couldn't stand people assuming that they were hoping for a girl so my boss used to say "it's another boy. Move on". In the end though, they ended up having a sixth one unplanned and that turned out to be a girl. Of course now people just assume that they kept going until they hit a girl which is completely untrue.
     
  4. Kiddo

    Kiddo Well-Known Member

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    We stayed team yellow with Harvey and will be doing the same with this one.

    A few friends that have had babies recently have found out and picked the name and everything before the baby arrived and it leaves them nothing to announce when the time comes. A phone call saying 'it's here and they're both fine' is lovely but not the same as 'it's a boy/girl called ******' IMO.

    Each to their own though, some people like to get super prepared and have everything organised for when baby arrives. I like the anticipation and wondering either way and it's a lovely moment when you discover for yourselves whether you have a new baby son or daughter.
     
  5. mamamay

    mamamay Mummy to Leo

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    I know someone who exactly the same happened to, had 4 boys and when expecting 5th everyones like - not giving up till you get a girl then. Why dont they just mind their own business, it seems the one area in life everyone thinks they can put their two pennies worth in, so annoying!! x
     
  6. Florabelle

    Florabelle Proud mama

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  7. lets get fat

    lets get fat mum to 4 boys

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    i have 4 boys and found out last week that im finally having a girl, i was having the issue of not finding out and waiting for the surprise but dh wanted to know at scan, turns out im very happy that i found out because baby is no longer just a bump she now has a name and my boys now are calling her baby emily which i think is lovely and ive gone pink crazy baby emily is gonna be so spoilt she not even born and doesnt realise how special she is having 4 big brothers to fuss over her xx
     
  8. Mummy~L

    Mummy~L Mummy to 2

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    We knew with our first but didnt tell anyone else! It was lovely knowing as we could buy things relating to that gender and it was nice having a little secret from everyone that only me and OH knew!! :)
     
  9. mummySS

    mummySS Mum of 2!

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    I'm having a huge dilemma about this as I really want to know and DH doesn't. So i'm going to find out but i'm not allowed to tell him or ANYONE! I just don't know if i can do it! Surely it's no fun for me to know, but not be able to talk to anyone about it?!

    For me the knowing is about bonding with the baby and being mentally prepared - i don't mind either way but i just want to know!

    Sounds like you're not especially bothered if you've managed to stay team yellow for your first 4??

    x
     
  10. Palestrina

    Palestrina Well-Known Member

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    Everyone makes their own decision and shouldn't be criticized either way. I respect when parents decide not to find out the sex of their baby. That said, I would never choose that for myself, I think it's kind of dumb. Telling me that it leaves nothing to announce is rude. The genitals are not the only thing that comes out that day, there's plenty of lovely surprises to behold. Besides, who cares if it's a let down to other people, it's not about "making interesting announcements" I'm sure there will be plenty of things to do and we won't be bored in any way. To each their own but please, get off your high horse.

    To the OP, I understand that this is a decision you want to make WITH your husband and I understand your plight. However, my thought is that I'm the one who is carrying the baby, and my vote is the one that counts. If you have made the compromise and didn't find out the sex of your first 4 babies then surely you deserve the chance to find out with this one even if your hubby doesn't agree. Remember, you're the one doing all the work here, doesn't that count for something?
     
  11. theresarhuebb

    theresarhuebb x mother of 3 x

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    if your planning on this being your last one and it was me id find out since you've experienced it 4 times already not knowing what your having. if hubby really doesnt want to know, you find out! surely he can understand x
     
  12. abc123x

    abc123x Well-Known Member

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    We're finding out because it helps us to bond with our baby before he/she is born. It will also help because we're planning on moving and we will be tight on money, so buying some stuff gradually will help(it's so hard to find yellow and green here!). It'll also end the HUGE debate in our family--Everybody agrees that it's a girl... his mom and I say it's a boy!

    If you want to know, find out. You don't have to tell your husband. You can go buy pink or blue and hide it. It might be fun!

    And kudos to you for not finding out with the others... I don't have that kind of self control!
     
  13. Noodles

    Noodles Mummy to two boys!

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    I NEEDED to know or I would have gone insane! I like to plan things and I think that there is enough to do when the baby arrives without the added pressure of buying gender specific stuff. I didn't like my son being in netural colours as people said 'Arrh isn't IT cute'
     
  14. Mummytofour

    Mummytofour Mumtofive! BFing WTT!

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    Wow, I was just searching the net looking for reasons why so many people seemed to desperately need to know the sex of their unborn when I logged back onto BnB and saw this thread!!!:wacko:

    With my other 4 children, I was never given the option of knowing the sex prior to birth as it was NHS guidelines in Scotland NOT to reveal this.

    I was told this was due to certain races/religions aborting specific genders, but don't know how true this was?:shrug:

    I also never had a 20 week anomaly scan before this pregnancy, as in Scotland the new scan was not in place prior to now in my area!:growlmad:

    Havig said all that, my DH said yesterday that maybe we should find out to make sleeping arrangements easier. I said "no way" and either flavour will be fine thankyou very much!:haha:

    I always remember my old mentor when I was in Nursing saying that there are not many surprises left in life these days with all our modern technology and finding out the sex after labour was the one little one left!:thumbup:
     
  15. faun

    faun Mum to 2 boys and 1 girl

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    I haven't found out the sex as i found out with my middle 2 which was nice but as this is the last i wanted a suprise for me and everyone else. IMO it makes it that bit more special when the midwife passes you the baby and you peek under the blanket to see if its a girl or boy. I will always remember when my oldest was born his dad crying and telling me it was a boy and he had a son. With the other 2 it was nice to know as we needed to know if we had to move as we only had a 2-bed house so had to upgrade when we found out it was a girl.
     
  16. Kiddo

    Kiddo Well-Known Member

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    Sorry you found my post so "rude" The OP asked for opinions and I gave mine :shrug: I am certainly not sitting on any high horse!

    I respect people's decision to find out, that's why I said some people like to be prepared and get everything organised - that's a good enough reason to find out. Everyone's different and there's no right or wrong answer, just what's right for the parents. It's right for us to stay team yellow.

    Oh, and although you say nobody should be criticised for their decision, you go on to call my decision "dumb" Cheers for that
     
  17. CeeCee2010

    CeeCee2010 Mummy to Jessica xxx

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    I am going to find out. I guess it's because after my MC and MMC I was never able to know if I was having a son or a daughter, I still think about them every day and wonder what they would be like now. It's just my personal preference to know but I totally respect and admire anybody who has the willpower not to find out. It's each to their own and as long as you're comfortable with your decision then who cares what everybody else thinks? :)
     
  18. Palestrina

    Palestrina Well-Known Member

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    It is dumb for me, it doesn't make any sense in my life. Kudos to you for your willpower and all that but this sort of anticipation does not appeal to me. I don't want to give birth to an "it" dressed in yellow. I don't agree with the argument that "it's one of the only surprises left in life" because it isn't. I'm sure there will be lots of surprises when the baby comes out like will it have a full head of hair? What color eyes will it have? will he/she look like mommy or daddy? etc. So like I said, to each their own, I'm not criticizing anyone for not finding out the sex, all I'm saying is that it's dumb for me cause then I can't prepare adequately for this baby.

    And it's no fun shopping for other mommies who don't know the sex of their baby either. Who wants to buy green and yellow and beige baby clothes? They're ugly. So I wait until baby is born to buy any gifts and if I have to go to a shower I will buy presents that have nothing to do with the sex.
     
  19. aussiemum

    aussiemum Mother of 4 boys

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    Thank you all so much for your different opinions. As was stated by one poster I am sick of people crossing fingers its a girl for me. I am not sure I am hoping it is a girl, a boy would be easier as it stands. Of course a girl would be nice but not essential. I think that is why I want to find out. So I am thinking of telling the sonographer that I don't want her to tell me, but if our little bundle wants me to know then he/she will show me themselves on the screen.
     

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