To Try or Not To Try for #2 July 2017

[littlegirl87]

Hello All,
I honestly can't believe I am back on here considering TTC#2! It was such a long, rough journey for #1, but I am blessed to say that DD is the best thing that has ever happened to me by a long shot.

If DH could have his way we would have 5 children, but I am happy with just the 1. However, after some time and consideration I have decided that I would love for DD to have a little brother or sister. I finally shared my thoughts with DH, and of course he was on board (with the wanting 5 children and all ) SO here we are, considering starting to try in July 2017.

Quite honestly I am afraid. It was extremely difficult for us to get pregnant with #1, and she was simply a miracle. I even put off taking a pregnancy test until I was nearly 7 weeks pregnant, because I just knew I couldn't get pregnant, and I couldn't stand the thought of facing another Some how I worked up the courage to take a test and WOW I couldn't believe it!

We were beyond blessed to have a happy and healthy almost 9 months as DD came a bit early at 36 weeks and 4 days, but she was healthy and we got to go home just as planned (except for being a few weeks early). Things have truly been wonderful and she is a complete Joy! She is such a happy baby, and very well behaved. This is another thing that I fear is that #2 might be more difficult?

I do want to have another child, and I truly want DD to have siblings as I LOVE mine and don't know where I would be without them! I am just really nervous about going through the heartache again

Has anyone else been EXTREMELY nervous about trying for #2? and if so what gave you the comfort and strength to decide to try again?!

Thanks in advanced!

 

[aidensxmomma]

I was really nervous about trying for my youngest and now again since DH and I are moving on to TTC our second.

I conceived my first two kids really easily (they were oopsie babies). But then it took me a year to conceive my third. Sadly, I lost my third to SIDS when she was three months. After that, my kids' dad and I got divorced. Eventually, my DH and I got together and started TTC. It was a really difficult journey - DS2 took 12 months to conceive, I was diagnosed with endometriosis and PCOS, and I had two early losses during that time. The whole TTC process and even the pregnancy were really stressful. It didn't help that my pregnancy with DS2 was really difficult - I had morning sickness all the way through and was on medication for it until I was 30 weeks. I was also in early labor for 6 days before my water finally broke and DS2 was born. There were other minor complications during pregnancy and labor and it honestly just made the whole experience horrible. DS2 has a rough couple months after being born too (reflux, dairy sensitivity, couldn't stomach any forumla ) Luckily, my little guy is much happier and healthier now and is doing great despite his rough start.

All that being said, DH and I are still going forward with trying for another. I imagine our journey this time around is going to be bumpy as well, but I'm taking a one-day-at-a-time approach. It's hard not to worry about everything, but no amount of worrying is going to change it, so I'll just handle things as they come my way. What keeps me willing to TTC again and go through everything again is that I know with all my heart I want another and I know DH does, too. No matter what obstacles we run into, they're worth it to have another child. No matter how difficult it gets, at the end of it all, it'll be worth it. DS2 has proven that I look at him and know without a doubt that everything we went through was so worth it. It will be the same for the next baby, too.

I hope that helped some...and I'm sorry for the novel

 

[littlegirl87]

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I also have this strong feeling that I would like to have another child as DD has truly been the BEST thing that has ever happened to me! She brightens my day EVERY day, and I love watching her learn and grow. So I feel that the desire is there, but this fear is like numbing. I really, really hated the heartbreak of TTC #1. It just tore me apart. I have a strong feeling that we are going to go ahead and try for #2, and I just pray that it is easier than the first time!

Good luck to you with trying for another! I hope the process is much easier for you this time around with a lot less heartbreak!

 

[MindUtopia]

I think if you are genuinely afraid and stressed then that might be a reason to leave it a bit and see how you feel in a few months time before you make a final decision. Deciding you want to have another is one thing, but deciding you want to have one right now is something else and it's possible you might just need some more time. Another year won't make a difference in terms of your fertility and personally I would want to feel totally on board and excited and ready.

In my own case, I always knew I wanted 2 and there has never been a doubt about that, but I absolutely would not have been ready when my daughter was only 7 months. Actually the time between about 7 months and a year was probably the most difficult few months we had and for me, it would have been really overwhelming to do that and be pregnant. We waited for a much larger gap, not for that reason, I probably would have been happy to start trying a year ago, but for financial and professional reasons as I wanted to be in a particular place in my career and with my maternity pay before I took another maternity leave. So to an extent, we didn't really have the choice to try sooner, but even if we had, I wouldn't have been ready that soon and I think that's okay (and probably pretty normal).

When I was ready, I knew it and I felt very comfortable about the decision and excited to move forward. I did have a loss with my 2nd pregnancy, which obviously doesn't mean you will, but I think the fact that I was in a good place, felt positive about it all to begin with, and our daughter was older and a bit more independent made that easier to deal with frankly. I don't think struggling to TTC is easy under the best of circumstances, but I think it's much easier when you're at a good point in your family life generally and not stressed with other things.

Maybe you can set a tentative date and then just think about how you feel in the next few months, leaving open the possibility that you might want to wait longer.

 

[littlegirl87]

Thank you so much for sharing! I agree with you that I think it is EXTREMELY important to be in a good place mentally, physically, and with everything going on in life! Obviously we can't control everything, and we may feel that we get to that good place, and then something pops up, but like you said if we are in that good place to begin with then perhaps we are also in a better position to deal with anything difficult that does occur!

I appreciate you sharing your story!

Best of luck with trying agian with #2! I really hope it ends up being a beautiful experience for you!