today I... add yours..

[FeLynn]

Awww it's soo sad that we are in very similar circumstances... I really hope it changes for us both.

I had testing done on my last miscarriage only because I was possible query for molar pregnancy. Everything came back "normal".

I had some blood tests last year, FSH, pro Lactin, progrestrone, oestrogen... Probs a few other things but cant remember, had a smear and that was clear.... I had a scan and my eggs and tubes looked good!

I have a son who will be turning 8 in Aug and a son who is 6 and a son who is 4. I too wondered if I wanted to do this baby stage all over again. I mean I will always want more kids that will never change, that doesnt mean I will. I want to get my life together I have been a mother from an early age and became a sahm after I had my youngest son. I do weekend work but I want to go to school maybe get a decent job help bring in income. Do I really want to back track and have young babies???? I look at my nephew he is almost 2 months old and i cant help but think of my angel I just lost. I am working on a name for her. But I see my kids with my sisters baby and its so heart warming and breaking at the same time b/c they wanted a little brother or sister and when I told them I had a feeling it was a girl they were excited and then we lost her, they dont understand so I have to try and explain to them. But seeing them hold my nephew and feed him and try to make him smile and how they are oh so gentle for the rough tough boys that they normally are I just want tha so bad. I am terrified to get pregnant again and lose that baby as well. Since I seem to get further with each pregnancy but they still die

 

[BeautifulD]

FeLynn, I could have written that myself

 

[aimze]

Today i had a crap day. Fed up of people moaning bout my weddin plans n hen do when its my special day an i need to plan it to distract myself from thinking about my baby...today i also keep thinking how 3 weeks ago i was so happy with my baby in my tummy n now im empty

 

[cupcake]

Today i had a crap day. Fed up of people moaning bout my weddin plans n hen do when its my special day an i need to plan it to distract myself from thinking about my baby...today i also keep thinking how 3 weeks ago i was so happy with my baby in my tummy n now im empty

 

[MrsC1003]

Today I wrote a letter to our little girl to go with her in the coffin. Today I stopped bleeding after my D&C and this brought about a fresh wave of grief. All the time I was bleeding I resented it, feeling like it was a reminder of what I'd lost and now I feel like my body is healing faster than my heart. And today I snapped at a 'friend' who told me 'everything happens for a reason' just because we got the news that we are moving 200 miles...that is not why I miscarried. I miscarried because I have a uterus of death. Sorry just need to let some of this out.

 

[aimze]

Oh hun im not surprised u snapped! U didn't loose ur baby "for a reason" its a stupid.thing to say just like "every cloud has a silver lining" no they do not!

Xx

 

[MrsC1003]

Urgh it really irritates me some of the stupid things people say. I spend my life biting my tongue when I just want to scream at people about the idiotic cliche stuff they come up with that will supposedly help. Instead I just nod feeling like someone is stamping on the pieces of my heart . Having lost 5 babies you'd think I'd be used to it by now. Can tell you now it doesn't get any easier, I haven't become numb. I just grieve all the time now.

On a plus I have two amazing friends who simply said that they knew nothing they said would make me feel better but for me to know they are there for me. Suppose its when things like this happen you find out who your true friends are.

 

[Babee_Bugs]

I resent the people, who try and tell you how to deal with a loss... I resent them even more, when there have never ever gone through a loss!

My MIL really upset me the other day, I told her about the scan and that I was miscarrying. She said oh I'm so sorry, then proceeded to tell me, "well its not that bad for you, because well you have 2 sons already, but if nikki lost her baby it would be far worse because she doesn't have any" (nikki is her grandchild and is 18 got pregnant by mistake after being with her partner for 2 months)...

How the &?!@ does that make it any better?... Whether or not I had 10 million children or 2, the loss of a child is huge!...

Oh then I got, "just stop trying so hard!" so at this point I kindly pointed out, that for us to fall pregnant, then we need to "try" and have sex when I'm most fertile or it's never going to happen.. Then I just barricaded her with ovulation, temping, soya, ovulation tests etc... Which she then shut up

 

[aimze]

Bugs i totally relate!

My oh called his mum to say we lost the baby, her response "oh im sorry - what do u want me to do about this microwave i got for u?"

I don't give a shit about ur stupid microwave!

 

[FeLynn]

Bugs i totally relate!

My oh called his mum to say we lost the baby, her response "oh im sorry - what do u want me to do about this microwave i got for u?"

I don't give a shit about ur stupid microwave!

something made me so mad. After we had found out our baby girl was not to going to make it to term I told my family one at a time. I told my friend after she pissed me off she would always tell me I am worrying for nothing and would keep reminding me how far I was and I shouldnt worry like I wasnt keeping track myself. So once again she was going off about her pregnancy she was 10 weeks ahead of me. after 15 min of going on about her baby she ask how was my appt. I said well there will be no baby, she was confused I told her I will no longer be pregnant so she can stfu and stop comparring our pregnancies and lifes all the damn time.

8 days after my d&e my hubbys mom calls. I answer the phone she asks for her son I told her he is sleeping, He doesnt wake up until night time b/c he works nights. She then says I heard it happened again I am so sorry. WTF how dare she say it like that, what pissed me off even more is that my hubby trusted his dad and brother and they ran their mouth like they always do. I will not be talking to her again. She never calls us or even bothers to check up on her grandkids so she has no rights to know a damn thing about any of my babys.

I have dealt with stupid comments from everyone. I just snap so I keep to myself they arent in my shoes so they do not even know how this is affecting me!

people make me so mad.

 

[Babee_Bugs]

I also got the "It can't of meant to be" crap the other day also...

I haven't told my OH what the MIL said because I know he would blow his top and I can't be bothered for all of that

 

[BeautifulD]

Oh I've had every cliche in the book, I was telling my nan about it yesterday and her reply really touched my heart. I was telling her about people telling me to remember I already have two beautiful girls (like I don't already know!) And her reply was... Em, you know and I know you have two beautiful girls but the babies you lost where your babies whether they graced this earth or not they where still your baby and no one can take that away or replace them, what you feel is grief and you have every right!

How true? Totes true and I really appreciate that

 

[FeLynn]

Oh I've had every cliche in the book, I was telling my nan about it yesterday and her reply really touched my heart. I was telling her about people telling me to remember I already have two beautiful girls (like I don't already know!) And her reply was... Em, you know and I know you have two beautiful girls but the babies you lost where your babies whether they graced this earth or not they where still your baby and no one can take that away or replace them, what you feel is grief and you have every right!

How true? Totes true and I really appreciate that

I have heard a few comments b/c I have kids it cant hurt as bad or it shouldn't affect me the way it does! really really come on I have to go through the loss and then I have to explain to my kids each time I miscarry and then deal with their questions. they try to be understanding but truth be told they only understand so much and I cant lie to them and say it was a joke mommy wasn't pregnant.

Each time my kids found out mommy was pregnant they would try harder to behave and listen. They would cover me at night and rub my belly even though I was too early, they knew there was a little baby living in there. They would talk about being big brothers. My son had a class year book and each kid had a picture in the book and they got a whole page to write what ever they wanted. My son said he couldnt wait for the new baby to be born

They know what death is and they know our babies are in baby heaven with the rest of the angels that didn't get the chance to stay here with their family. It just makes me cry when I see them with my nephew who is 2 months old. That should be them and their baby sister come December but it wont be them and their sister. I have waited so long to have a little girl. I have always wanted a girl and I looked forward to telling my kids be nice to your sister lol but as of now that is not going to happen.

 

[Babee_Bugs]

I just don't get why people feel like there can judge and say whatever there wish to you. When there have never ever gone through this

Bloody hypocrites grrrrrr

 

[PinkCupcake]

Today I went shopping and treated myself to a few bits around my favourite shop.. primark! can't beat good old primarny. xx

 

[aimze]

today i was doing fine till i log onto fb an someone announcin a pregnancy...due a few days b4 mine..

 

[cupcake]

those are the most difficult days finding out yet another person is pregnant..

 

[aimze]

i feel guilty for feelin jealous

 

[PinkCupcake]

Today I was also fine until I came across about 40 congratulations on a girls wall, and guess what? she's writing status upon status about how her life is screwed and the reason being is, she doesn't know who the dad is. No, I wouldn't want anything to go wrong for her because that's an evil thing to say but it infuriates me to think of how so many of us wasn't so negligent and i bet she ends up with a healthy, fatherless baby. There's nothing wrong with single mothers where the fathers have left but come on! Atleast have some self respect and know who the father is. We all make mistakes but jeez!

 

[Babee_Bugs]

The other day I had to remove 20 odd people off my Facebook, as the amount of status updates and scan pics of there pregnancy, was suffocating the hell out of me.

I'm happy for people... But It was seriously making me peed off, so I just had to remove them :/