today I... add yours..

[skyesmom]

but it really is taking it one day at a time. our loss broke our relationship up, and only now, after some weeks apart we are starting to process and heal together.

be it a hair washing, tidying up, getting dressed, taking a walkabout, eating a whole bar of chocolate, posting on a forum or just crying your heart out, those are all little big accomplishments that step by step make you start feeling alive, and not semi-alive, again.

after you come to know the joy of becoming a parent, and then experiencing the most profound loss, all the other things that used to make you happy count less and give you less joy then they have done before, because you discover a part of yourself you didn't know you had, and none of these can fill that hole up.

so be proud of yourself for every one of these little accomplishments, although they may seem completely empty and vane... because over time, you'll be able to look at them and admire your own strength, and this itself helps you heal.
(it's been almost a year for me now, and it takes A LOT of time and shitty days for this kind of clarity)

hugs to all of you

 

[george83]

Cooked my husband a massive Sunday roast - he's been such a support to me and apart from crying when we got the bad news at the scan hasn't once shown how he's feeling to protect me. I was exhausted after though, I've no idea how I'm going to cope going back to work

 

[skyesmom]

today i just wanna say that i have the best in-laws on the face of the earth. can't even call them in-laws, i'd rather spell it in-loves one of those days where i just appreciate being a part of that family...

 

[Nimyra]

Today I...

... called out sick for the week
... rescheduled my clients
... talked to my husband
... posted to this forum
... showered

I also helped my husband change our bedsheets, made a bowl of cereal, read a CareNotes pamphlet on grieving and ordered one on miscarriage.

 

[george83]

Today I...

... called out sick for the week
... rescheduled my clients
... talked to my husband
... posted to this forum
... showered

I also helped my husband change our bedsheets, made a bowl of cereal, read a CareNotes pamphlet on grieving and ordered one on miscarriage.

That sounds like a lot for one day, well done you

 

[wamommy]

Today is the one year anniversary of my loss.

My son is 3 weeks old today

Today I say a prayer for everyone who is grieving, and send a message of hope in the darkness. I can't promise when it will get better, and I don't have any magic words to ease the pain. I am just so thankful this day... that each small step I took led me to where I am today.

I hope with all of my heart that all of your pain is lessened... I am so very sorry for your loss. Keep faith

 

[skyesmom]

wow Nimyra, you're a real soldier! that's really a lot for a day, i agree with george83 bravo!

 

[Nimyra]

Thank you. What I didn't do today was work on my paper due for school next week. Its helpful to remember that showering is a big deal too.

 

[skyesmom]

Today is the one year anniversary of my loss.

My son is 3 weeks old today

Today I say a prayer for everyone who is grieving, and send a message of hope in the darkness. I can't promise when it will get better, and I don't have any magic words to ease the pain. I am just so thankful this day... that each small step I took led me to where I am today.

I hope with all of my heart that all of your pain is lessened... I am so very sorry for your loss. Keep faith

Thank you so much for this, Wamommy! wonderful, healing words... thanks for sharing... and yes, welcome Wababy nr. 3

 

[Neverending]

Today I didn't have to take any pain meds
My partner and I went outiside and played with the dogs
We wrestled and had a day with just us, no work no nothing
We went out to lunch as well
Even though I'm still bleeding I'm feeling loads better, we decided today there would be no talking of anything negative and it's been a great day!

 

[george83]

Today I didn't have to take any pain meds
My partner and I went outiside and played with the dogs
We wrestled and had a day with just us, no work no nothing
We went out to lunch as well
Even though I'm still bleeding I'm feeling loads better, we decided today there would be no talking of anything negative and it's been a great day!

This is what I'm planning for Saturday, in my head after my scan last Tuesday me and my husband were going to take our son to a soft play centre for the afternoon and then out for a meal but obviously everything changed and my son although he's been an angel this week has been neglected so I'm going to spoil him, your post made me think I can get out from under my quilt and do it, thank you

 

[Neverending]

Your welcome! I'm sorry you feel like you have left your son neglected the last week. I too feel that ways only with my four dogs and my family but I think the fact we can realize this is good it will make you feel good and we all deserve that! Have fun. Rest if you need too as well!

 

[GaiaSN]

Today, I smile because I spent the most wonderful night with my dear M. A night, where for a few magical hours and for the first time in a long time, we forgot everything that happened over the past months. And were just together. Happy, content, in love.

 

[LuckyW]

^What a lovely post. I smiled just reading it!

 

[skyesmom]

Today, I smile because I spent the most wonderful night with my dear M. A night, where for a few magical hours and for the first time in a long time, we forgot everything that happened over the past months. And were just together. Happy, content, in love.

oh love you made my day with this i'm so happy for you thanks for sharing this with us!

 

[Nimyra]

Today I reached out for help

- to my doctor
- to my pastor's wife (this was hard for me because I'm still angry about something the pastor said in church this past Sunday... but I know they want to help and I really could use some meals for a little while) ... I also asked her to speak to my church friend who said "don't worry, you'll have other pregnancies" and give her some guidance on what might be more helpful.
- to a nurse/perinatal grief counselor at the hospital
- to bereavement services at a local hospice.
- to my acupuncturist.

I also spoke to my advisor at school about getting an extension on my assignments and she shared some helpful thoughts from her own miscarriage experiences.

 

[sedgeez]

Today I reached out for help

- to my doctor
- to my pastor's wife (this was hard for me because I'm still angry about something the pastor said in church this past Sunday... but I know they want to help and I really could use some meals for a little while) ... I also asked her to speak to my church friend who said "don't worry, you'll have other pregnancies" and give her some guidance on what might be more helpful.
- to a nurse/perinatal grief counselor at the hospital
- to bereavement services at a local hospice.
- to my acupuncturist.

I also spoke to my advisor at school about getting an extension on my assignments and she shared some helpful thoughts from her own miscarriage experiences.

I'm really happy you reached out for help
I'm going to be speaking to my gp about counselling.

 

[Nimyra]

My fear was that because I have a history of anxiety and depression I'd be treated like it was re-emerging depression, but people haven't been like that at all. Everyone I spoke to today normalized what I was going through and helped me feel like I am going to make it through this.

 

[george83]

Took my son to the park and had a few minutes just playing with him forgetting everything else, I also had to put some proper clothes on instead of my husbands track suit bottoms, although I did get straight back into them when I got home.

Oh and my new photo frame came for my scan photo, it's meant to be for a newborn baby's photo but has a silver teddy bear at the top and the words 'we love you' written at the bottom. It's going to go on my bed side table, so baby can sleep with mummy and daddy like they're meant too x x

 

[sedgeez]

today i went out for the day with my OH, my mum and my dad

the last time i went out i had to get rushed to hospital with pregnancy tissue stuck in my cervix so i have been putting off leaving the house.

but we went out for the whole day to southport and it was lovely (but cold )

and my OH had money from his birthday and he spent it on me i told him not to but he did.
he bought me a beautiful hand made, fabric covered sewing box which ive been needing for a long time. he also bought me 2 beautiful rainbow candles which i will light when im feeling sad about my little angel. and he bought me some bath stuff that helps you sleep as ive not been sleeping since it all happened.

i feel spoilt