Told to stop because she's a toddler now

[bumpbear]

How do you deal with people who are disgusted that you're 'still breastfeeding'?

I get called 'earth mother' as a slur and all sorts because my 15 month old still nurses.

Admittedly, I do not really want to nurse beyond 18 months and certainly not beyond the two year mark: I'd like to encourage her to self wean but am under lots of pressure to go cold turkey (or maybe I feel under lots of pressure because of the comments I have to put up with). I dont want to end our nursing relationship on a bad note - its been so wonderful so far so cold turkey is not for us.

Luckily DH is very supportive of following LO's lead and allowing her to self wean. In the mean time, how do I get other people to understand that its not a bad thing and that LO can not just magically stop because she is over 12 months old? I tend to go in to my shell when I am being given 'advice' on the matter (always unsolicited) and then fume about it later. I tend not to tell people that I am still nursing unless they ask because of the reaction it usually provokes.

You cant win - pressure to BF int he beginning and then they think that after getting your kid hooked on the boob, its kind just to take it away from them one day.

 

[SarahBear]

I plan to let my daughter fully self-wean. I do plan to have another kid in 2 years, so that may influence when she weans, but I won't be forcing her to stop. I also won't deny her the boob if she stops because of my pregnancy and then wants it again after the baby is born. I won't be dealing with pressure from others by trying to get people to understand. They either understand or they don't and that's that. People are uncomfortable with it because of their own perverted twist on what boobs are for (sex object), and not on the reality of their function (milk makers) and what is best for a child.

 

[SHAMto3]

Ignore, ignore, ignore. There will always be nay sayers.

 

[deafgal]

I breastfed my son way past 18 months. I am breastfeeding my 13 months old and it doesn't seem she is slowing down one bit. I am planning to wean her from night feeding because her dentist thinks it is causing her teeth going bad(and while others would disagree, I agree with her. I made a thread hon BnB explaining my situation) . But night weaning is the farthest I will go and will wait til she self wean.

 

[Larkspur]

I don't really think it's possible to get people to change their opinions, so it's not worth trying! And actually, they're entitled to think breastfeeding a toddler is disgusting or whatever. It's stupid and/or ill-informed if they do, if you ask me, but if I spent my life trying to fix everyone else's stupid opinions, I'd go mad and/or get nothing else done!

I'd say the only thing you need to do is to practice saying in a clear, calm voice, "Thanks for your concern, but I'm quite happy doing it my way" for when people start to foist their opinion on you.

If they keep talking, they're being rude, so you could add, "I'm sorry, but my choice isn't actually up for discussion."

If they STILL keep talking, my response would be to smile very slightly and say, "I've politely said I don't want to discuss it twice now. I do hope you won't make me be rude."

And the DEFCON 1 response to continued harassment would be "What part of 'This is none of your goddamned business' don't you understand?" followed by getting my things and leaving, or telling them to do so.

 

[Palestrina]

Luckily DH is very supportive of following LO's lead and allowing her to self wean. In the mean time, how do I get other people to understand that its not a bad thing and that LO can not just magically stop because she is over 12 months old?

You can't change other people, why try? Can you change how you feel when someone tried to change your mind about breast feeding? No so why should anyone else? You'll just make yourself miserable trying.

I have this trick when someone tries to bully me into changing about something like this. I smile and nod and be polite as if I'm listening. At some point I may say "I don't really agree with you" and leave it at that. Then if they keep talking I ignore them completely, I mean completely! Like they're not even there, I may even interrupt them to change the subject or talk to someone else. Once you ignore them they start to look stupid after a while hehe.

 

[deafgal]

Yeah, don't listen to them. There are more important things to worry about and this is not one of those things they should worry about. It is not like you are starving or neglecting your child

 

[Fortune Cooki]

Tell them the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until at least 2 years of age.

https://www.who.int/topics/breastfeeding/en/

 

[iwantabub]

If there's one thing I've learnt from being a new mum...

NEVER JUDGE OTHER PARENTS FOR THEIR CHOICES BECAUSE THEY'RE JUST TRYING TO DO THE BEST FOR THEIR BABIES!

Even if its not what you would do...

Personally I don't know if ill be bf past a year but hell if I'd let anyone tell me not to or that it was wrong!

Ummmm hello... What do u think they did 200 years ago!!!

The most disgusting thing I've ever heard was when I was sitting with my friend who was bfing her toddler and another mum came up and said "OMG as if your still feeding ... How old is that child!"

Then five mins later we looked over and she was feeding her baby (must have been 2ish) macdonalds!
(Not judging Macas coz just finished a sundae haha)

But c'mon... Reli!? Lol


Excuse the language ... But fuk em!
U do what's right for ur buba and u!

Bfing is a special bond u only get to have with your lo for the first part of their life and not only is if great nutrition but its lovely IMO to have that closeness ...

They're probably jealous they don't have that!

 

[Berri]

Still happily breastfeeding at 17.5mths although we are down to usually just one feed a day (unless he's sick or teeth are giving him trouble). If people ask, I'm happy to answer but I don't usually bring it up. If they comment negatively I usually just say "Well, this works for us." and move the discussion in a different direction (strangely found that a lot of the bf naysayers are more than happy to start talking about themselves... sorry, that was narky wasn't it ). For the most part I guess I've been lucky and most of the comments I get are "gee I wish we could have gone that long "

I think he will be self-weaned by around 20mths (can't be sure but I think it's heading that way) and that's fine with me. It's also ok with me if he wants to bf at 2.

 

[Tacey]

it's so hard when you're faced with attitudes like that. I agree with the others though. You don't need to make them agree with you, but you can make it clear that their opinions aren't welcome. In my experience, the more confident you are in yourself, the less people criticise.

 

[Celesse]

You need to develop a look which says "your an idiot" and use it every time someone tries to give you crappy parenting advice.

Silly person: "You should give up breastfeeding"
Me: (looks at them like they have just said the stupidest thing ever) "no".

 

[lsmith073104]

I nursed my son till he was 28 months and he is the happiest of all 3 of my kids. In addition,cows milk is one of the top 5 childhood allergies... why tempt it?

When people would ask me, i would say that i trusted my son to wean when he is physically ready. And he did. I did stop nursing him in public at about 20 months tho if i had to be discreet becaue he wouldnt keep a cover on. Lol

Good luck momma, you are doing what is best for your family... no judgement here. Keep on keeping on!!

 

[baby287]

People are so rude. My lb is not even 10 months and i already get people saying..youre STILL breastfeeding?? I dont get why they care