Too many questions for a title :(

[kandbumpx]

Ok... How old was LO when you split with FOB? Did you cope ok? Did you find your LO was happier? Did you get along better with FOB? How long did it take to you meet someone else if you have already?

 

[kandbumpx]

Oh and do you feel guilty that your LO won't grow up without their parents together? :/

 

[leahsbabybump]

hi im stalking you lol
the day i spit up with heymans dad it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders in a sense but allready told ya what i went through wiv him :-/
i do feel guilty that heyman wont have his mam n dad 2geva like i teld ya uve day he keeps asking questions and asking me to make friends with his dad n that n it does upset me :-/
heyman was no happier with or without his dad he was too young to know any differance and i met someone else within a couple fo months stayed with him about 9 months n then left him for dave who ive been wiv on n off for 4 years
i will be honest it is hard on your own to start with but you soon get used to it once you get into a routine without him i would say its actually easier especially with what your going through iykwim i think its easier at home when dave isnt hear cos its like ive got 3 kids sometimes iykwim lol

 

[kandbumpx]

Yup I know what u mean.. As u kno tho there's someone else.. I'm ever so confused lol

 

[emlubu]

My
Little girl was 16 months when we split.... We split cos he cheated so my whole world fell apart but now we r alot happier.... Happier parents = happier child!!! A definet weight has been lifted as we was not totally happy.
And I was only single 6 months and found I hope a really nice guy!!

 

[Laura2919]

Ok... How old was LO when you split with FOB? Did you cope ok? Did you find your LO was happier? Did you get along better with FOB? How long did it take to you meet someone else if you have already?

Chloe and Jaycee were 2 years and 8 months. I coped ok. I raise two two year olds on my own, I have a wonderful family who will watch them of an evening or sometimes during the day so I can have my time like going to the gym or out with a few friends for dinner or cinema. The twins are happier without him here all the time, they know that they go to see FOB every other weekend and they go to stay one night and one day during the week also.

FOB and I have a tense relationship to say the least. He constantly thinks I am jealous (he has a new gf, been seeing her since 2 days after we split) but I have given up telling him I fell out of love with him a long long time ago. He is one of these people who need to feel needed, at one point I used to have to ask if he was available to have the twins. He gets me confused with someone else I am sure cos there is only so much of his rubbish I take before enough is enough and I just do what I am doing.
Currently his issue is paying money he says he needs to reduce what he gives me by £50.. I told him to jog the f**k on, the pathetic creature says he cant afford to live but he splits his time between his mums and his gf's where he pays NOTHING for either. he works full time and gets a good wage. Just thinks I am silly and gonna roll over and let him do what he wants. No way!

I've met a few people in the past 12 weeks, nothing much in them. I am single and will stay single until I meet someone I want to spend time with. Sometimes people are interested in you but not what you bring. I come as a package with two kids and a dog they need to be able to accept that.

 

[Laura2919]

Oh and do you feel guilty that your LO won't grow up without their parents together? :/

The answer to this is no. I will never ever feel guilty, I want my girls to know that the person they spend their life with they should be in love with and have the most respect for. FOB and I didnt work way back, took lots of trying to make it work and it never did.
We both come from solid families so this is new to us. But I wont bring another man into this house unless he classes my children as his own. FOB knows this and agrees.

I will always be their mum and he will always be their dad, just not as a couple.

 

[MummyJade]

Ok... How old was LO when you split with FOB? Did you cope ok? Did you find your LO was happier? Did you get along better with FOB? How long did it take to you meet someone else if you have already?

We was always on and off, but split fully last June so Maizie was 19 months,

I coped Fine, he wasn't a hands on dad and worked so i was used to doing it all from day 1... Maizie didn't seem to change she was always a happy child, and she never asked where daddy was, but i guess thats cos he didn't really do much with her...

Get along better at times (when he isn't an ass!) but really our relationship is the same now as it was when we was together... (just no sex!) he bugs me and we row but we did before!

I think on meeting someone depends on your feelings for your ex, like i was glad to be away from a relationship that was shitty, so i spent a few months on my own with my daughter, I met someone in the sept but i wasn't ready, we (me and FOB) did go through a stage of getting back together in the nov, but it just wouldn't work never will! I met someone who i started dating in the April of this year. No longer together but i was ready then.... So it does just depend on the person...

Do i feel guilty?! NO! I wouldn't want Maizie growing up with parents that argued all the time/wasn't happy...

My parents split, and so has his... Did i want this? No, i wished and still do wish it was different but it never will be...

No man would meet Maizie unless i was sure he was the one and he accepted Maizie, I don't need a dad for her as she has her dad, but i would like someone who classed her as his own, and would be there if she needed him... I would leave there relationship to them sort of thing, what ever Maizie and him was comfortable with...

With Maizies dad not being around much, there might be a day when she decides to call a different man Dad which would be her choice...
x





xx

 

[mkm1083]

Ok... How old was LO when you split with FOB? Did you cope ok? Did you find your LO was happier? Did you get along better with FOB? How long did it take to you meet someone else if you have already?

Danny was just shy of a year old and I would have been like 6 months pregnant with Tommy.

I coped just fine. I was doing everything anyways. Getting rid of him made things much less stressful.

I didn't a change with Danny. FOB didn't do much with him anyways.

I will probably never get along with the jackass At first, I was determined to get along with him for the sake of the kids. It's been 2 years since I've seen him, he hasn't called in two months, never sent a dime to help raise them.

I have recently started dating someone seriously. It took me about a year to feel ready to start dating.

No I do not feel guilty. My kids had a father that sat on his ass, ate all of the food, and spent MY entire paycheck at the bar and on cigarettes. I would come home from work, pregnant, no food in the house, the bank account drained, and a week to go until payday. I would walk in the door and he would walk out, go to the bar, and then drive home drunk as a skunk at 2:30 in the morning. Came home one night so drunk he mistook the chair in the living room for the toilet.

 

[Sophie1205]

How old was LO when you split with FOB? - Leo was 2 years 4 months.

Did you cope ok? - With the relationship itself ending, no. It's been nearly 8 months since we split up and I am still not coping with the fact that our relationship has ended. He cheated on me and left me for her and is still with her now. With regards to coping as a single parent, I have been really surprised with myself and coped with Leo alone from the day he left pretty well! I mean, from time to time it does get difficult that happens being a parent, full stop! At the minute, it's getting harder to cope as FOB hasn't seen Leo for nearly 7 weeks, so I haven't had a break.

Did you find your LO was happier? - It hasn't really effected his happiness to be honest. He got used to the fact that his dad doesn't live with us anymore very quickly. His behaviour got quite bad when FOB first left so I think that was Leo's way of dealing with things. But he's still as happy as he always has been.

Did you get along better with FOB? - When we first split up, no. It was terrible. Then there was a patch of a couple of months where we got on really well, handed Leo over fine and could talk and have a bit of a laugh on the doorstep. Now, things are worse than ever. To the point where FOB refuses to pick Leo up himself and has been trying for 7 weeks to send his mother down to get Leo....not happening buddy!

How long did it take to you meet someone else if you have already? - We have been split up nearly 8 months as I said and I am still single. I have had little flings, nothing serious, just dating really. At the minute there is no one on the scene at all. Not seeing/speaking to/texting/dating - not anything. I'm getting pretty down about it recently, I highly dislike being single.

do you feel guilty that your LO won't grow up without their parents together? - Yes and no. FOB was the one that decided to cheat and leave so really it was HIS fault and HE should feel guilty. But sometimes when I start overthinking things, I think "maybe it was my fault?". I think if I hadn't have said/done certain things (trivial things) maybe he wouldn't have left. I feel very sorry for Leo that he won't be growing up with his mum and dad together - it breaks my heart I grew up without my mum and dad together and I know how hard it is. I never wanted Leo to go through this

 

[Kacie]

Ok... How old was LO when you split with FOB? Did you cope ok? Did you find your LO was happier? Did you get along better with FOB? How long did it take to you meet someone else if you have already?

LO was 5 weeks and 4 days old when we split (i'd been with him 8 years before that).. Found out he'd been cheating forever so we left.

I was a lot happier, like other's have said it was a huge weight off of my shoulders and I think, if I'd stayed then DD wouldn't have been happy as she'd have picked up on my unhappiness.

I coped better than anyone expected (including myself) learnt to trust my own instincts as a mother and it felt great.

One thing I really struggle with is him and his other woman pretending to play happy families with my daughter when she's visiting but i put it to the back of my mind as best I can.

Got along far worse with FOB as I found out what he truly was and that wasn't nice. months of mediation and solicitors letters and his false accusations to social services all because he finally realised what he'd lost and got jealous. We're perfectly civil now when we meet to drop of DD but I can't stand the man (wont make DD aware of that though).

Met someone else 5 months after we split. met online of all places. We're now engaged, FOB is still a worry as his jealousy rears its ugly head alot but he doesn't affect me so much now

xxxxxxxxxxx


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[cluelessnow]

How old was LO when you split with FOB? - I was 6 months pregnant.

Did you cope ok? - Emotionally battered by relationship ending and learning FOB's true colours. As for when the baby arrives, I hope I'd be stronger then.

Did you find your LO was happier? - Hopefully baby will not know the difference.

Did you get along better with FOB? - He's over me but I'm not over him yet so it's hard. Once I'm over him, I think it will get better.

How long did it take to you meet someone else if you have already? - FOB actually said the perfect scenario for him would be if I met someone else so he wouldn't have to feel guilty for wanting his life back and not being part of baby's life. It upset me. Feeling fat and rejected, the thought of another man in my life seems almost impossible right now.

Do you feel guilty that your LO won't grow up without their parents together? - Yes. I feel bad that it's my bad judgement of FOB that put my son in a set up of a broken family and he'd never know his father the way I'd like him to.

 

[Lemonflower]

My answers are pretty much the same as cluelessnow other than.

How old was LO when you split with FOB?
**** 13 weeks pregnant

How long did it take to you meet someone else if you have already?
**** It does seem impossible. I feel like damaged goods and that I am broken girl
Don't think anyone will want me and me son and I don't even know how i'm gonna even meet anyone with a newborn baby.

xxxx

 

[sarah0108]

How old was LO when you split with FOB?
We've split when DD was 4/5 months, then again when they were about 15 months and 3 months then got back together and split when they were 15 months and 28 months.
We've been on and off as we kept thinking we could try new things and work it out but it never happened.

Did you cope ok?
The first time i was pregnant and i was gutted that he left me, but the other times were my choice and i am fine, i finally feel like i can be 'me'

Did you find your LO was happier?
Not really but i think that was due to the fact we'd just come off a two week holiday.

Did you get along better with FOB?
We do and don't. Sometimes he makes my life really difficult.

How long did it take to you meet someone else if you have already?
I have had 2 relationships and seen 2 or 3 others(in my spare time!) when i am single

Oh and do you feel guilty that your LO won't grow up without their parents together?

No because they will know that we tried our best and i would much rather they had happy families rather than a mum and dad who dont get along

 

[kandbumpx]

Thanks for the replies .. Still trying to figure my life out! Lol..
I think only reason I've stayed with him is because I don't want L growing up with single parents.. (Been unhappy since been pregnant) .. My parents weren't together from me being 2 years old, and I hated it.. And don't want L to go through that :/

 

[SophiasMummy]

Ok... How old was LO when you split with FOB? Did you cope ok? Did you find your LO was happier? Did you get along better with FOB? How long did it take to you meet someone else if you have already?

I was still pregnant when me and FOB split, I had my mum for support if I really needed it when LO was born and for the first couple of months, I found it really easy by myself to be honest but ive always coped with things better by myself. My LO is the happiest baby anyone knows, a friend of mine has just left her fiance her LO is a year old and you can already see the difference in her LO shes alot happier. Me and FOB dont get along because he is useless and a lier who makes no effort to see his daughter or pay for her. Havent met anyone else I found im extra picky now I have to think about LO.

I feel bad that me and LOs dad arnt together and that she has to grow up without us together and that she will never have siblings with same dad, but I see how happy she is without him around anyway and hope that one day she will have a stepdad that loves her like his own, if not she always has me and family and will always be the most important person in my life. We dont need a man to complete our life (though would be nice if I can ever find the right bloke) x

 

[Laura2919]

Thanks for the replies .. Still trying to figure my life out! Lol..
I think only reason I've stayed with him is because I don't want L growing up with single parents.. (Been unhappy since been pregnant) .. My parents weren't together from me being 2 years old, and I hated it.. And don't want L to go through that :/

But you cant stay with someone for that reason. Its just not valid. children would pick up on that.

 

[mummy_ellie09]

How old was LO when you split with FOB?
J was just shy of 3 months old.

Did you cope ok?
As ok as I could do, but I had my family around me to help me

Did you find your LO was happier?
Tbh I think Josh is happier. I honestly don't think he's even noticed the fact he hasn't got his dad around

Did you get along better with FOB?
No. There was a period of 6 months after we split where the ex/FOB didn't see Josh or even contact me whatsoever. He still couldn't care less these days

How long did it take to you meet someone else if you have already?

I got with one guy about 6 months after but it didn't last very long. Then got with another in April this year but it only lasted a couple of months. I'm not bothering anymore. I don't go out so don't get to meet people

 

[Leah_xx]

Ok... How old was LO when you split with FOB? Did you cope ok? Did you find your LO was happier? Did you get along better with FOB? How long did it take to you meet someone else if you have already?
Oh and do you feel guilty that your LO won't grow up without their parents together?

Gracelynn was about 6 or 7 months old. It was right after she got out of the hospital with RSV and pneumonia. Gracelynn acted happier because there wasn't all this tension. FOB and my relationship is up and down. About 2 1/2 months after FOB and I broke up I started dating someone. Yes and no i feel guilty. Sometimes I think I should have fought thru it but on the other hand i dont because it wasnt good on her.

 

[10.11.12]

How old was LO when you split with FOB?
I was 11 weeks pregnant

Did you cope ok?
Not great, I was hormonal and living over an hour from friends and family and trying to move into a new house.

Did you find your LO was happier?
I think Edie is a well adjusted normal little girl.

Did you get along better with FOB?
Not really but we are civil and he has a good family so Edie will at least have a solid relationship with them.

How long did it take to you meet someone else if you have already?
I'm just now in my first serious relationship since then.

Oh and do you feel guilty that your LO won't grow up without their parents together?

Yes and no. I know we would never have been happy together but I am sometimes guilty because I come from divorced parents and know what it's like.