Total breakdown today

[Mummy2B1989]

Hi. Me and the the father of my two children were together for 5 years and engaged for 3.
We split up in September last year. It was my decision. He didn't help out with the kids and was a lousy fiancé for most of our relationship.

I felt great for the first few months after we split up and I was even seeing someone for a few months too. Anyway, we are civil but still argue now and then over his pettiness. Today I decided to tidy out my medicine cupboard. A job id been putting off for months as its a complete state.

Let me add this bit in before I go any further. This morning id been going through my old posts on this site from my fist pregnancy right through to thinking about ttc our third last year.

So anyway I was clearing out the medicine cupboard and came across a lot of his old hay fever things and that was it..

I literally broke down there and then on the kitchen floor. I was devastated that id made my children be part of a broken family, I missed him for the first time, I missed our nights in front of the tv, our family days out, everything.

On and off all day I've randomly looked at the kids and been heartbroken that me and him aren't together.

I used to think we could get back together but i know that the reasons we split up, he hasn't changed and he's shown me that numerous times lately but still....

It's bloody hard raising two kids alone whilst working and dealing with the fact my mum has cancer.

I do know a part of it is loneliness but by god this has been some day 😳😫😖

 

[psychochick]

I had those breakdowns after breaking it off with my ex-fiance. I mean I was not close to your situation as I had no kids or sick family. But I was definitely hurting even though it was my decision and I knew it was the right decision. But even when I broke down, I recognize that it's not because I made a mistake, but because our relationship and then our breakup just really hurt. It sounds like you are in the same situation right now. It's really hard especially when you have so many responsibilities, but you know you did the right thing and you have to forge on. If you have friends or other family around that can help or even just neighbors, please reach out to them. I dealt with my pain mostly by myself and I was able to do that cuz I had few responsibilities but I definitely made it very lonely for myself.

 

[MrsT&Ben]

Oh lovely, I'm so sorry.
I think we all go through stages like this.
I split up with my husband at the end of August and am struggling with dealing with different things. Whilst I know I do not want us to get back together I find it really hard that he isn't in my life anymore. I don't love him and don't to be with him but it's still so raw. I think it's mostly for the sake of my children. I hope you're doing ok today x

 

[Oldermummy78]

I walked out of my 6year relationship married for 4 October last year, I was pregnant and took my kids with me, even now as useless as he is , and shocking of a person he turned out to be , I honestly feel he's not the same man that I married, still get sad and upset that my marriage has ended and my kids are unsettled and little ones without a father living with us

My dad left my mum as a baby and I waited so many many years to want and get married, when I finally did it was for a mother of all f*****s and I'm so upset by my choices I really wanted my marriage to be forever as we all do

As much as I wouldn't not have my children I just think why do I keep making the same mistakes and fall for the same bullshitter of a man over again.

But in answer to your question honey, yes it's still sad, so unless you think it's the wrong decision to leave him, it's normal I think till we finally move on, for me my crying is more because of the what ifs and what could have beens more than anything else

xx