Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[MacBunneh]

Hi all, this is my first time here but thought it would be the perfect place to vent my frustrations (I don't generally like to express my feelings, so find it difficult to talk to anyone I know about it). Been tentatively TTC for 16+ months and although we said that we would start off not trying, not preventing - every month has been like a failure for me.

When I first came off BC in January 2018, I had very irregular cycles and then AF didn't come for 3 months. I went to the doc who gave me Provera, which didn't work, so she put me back on BC for a month. AF finally came and then my doc sent me for an HCG to check if there was a blockage in my fallopian tube (not a fun experience at all). Got the all-clear. Since then, I started taking all the right vitamins (Staminogro, Folic Acid, Omega, Agnus Castus), and my cycles have become a lot more regular and each cycle I get signs that I could be ovulating (CM) but negative OPKs.

I've been doing a lot of research on nutrition for TTC and have just been trying to do all the right things. Every month before AF, there's a glimmer of hope and every twinge in my belly or feeling of nausea or breast tenderness makes me think "maybe this time" (damn that 2WW), but it never is. This time round, I had almost convinced myself that I was definitely pg, but then AF arrived this morning and I'm left completely deflated. I know I really need to talk to my husband about it, but he just doesn't seem as interested to go full out TTC as I am and is kind of in the 'it'll happen when it happens' mindset. Meanwhile, I'm just so impatient, and then of course all my friends around me are just popping out babies like there's no tomorrow, and I try my hardest to be happy for them on the surface, but inside all I can think is 'why is it so easy for them, but not me - what's wrong with me, why does everything have to be so difficult'. I'm trying to stay positive, because obviously stress doesn't help, but on days like this, it's just too hard.

 

[Arcaneartist]

I have been trying to conceive since April. Periods were pretty normal, around 31 day cycles, so at first I thought we just couldn't get the timing down. Then I got diagnosed with PCOS. My doctor said I wasnt ovulating, even though my cycles were normal.

I was on metformin for 2 months before my first round of clomid. I seemed to respond well to it, so much so my doctor also gave me a trigger shot. I thought this was our chance! A guarantee that it would work.

Like clockwork, AF showed up. I was devastated, especially when the day before I thought I got a FVL on a cheapie test. Nope. Period came right on time. I am beyond devastated. I dont know what we did wrong or why it didnt work. I literally cannot fathom why I'm not pregnant. I lied to myself and said it wasnt AF but implantation bleeding. I'm so delusional, I want this so bad.

DH is on deployment so we cant they again for god knows how long. I'm just so heartbroken and all alone. I feel like I have no one else to turn to. I've cried nearly every day.

All I want is a baby

 

[Bevziibubble]

 

[Duckizu]

Im sorry if I do this wrong, I just found this place.

I'm so tired of TTC. I feel alone and sad. I'm tired of feeling like a failure because I'm trying so hard and it's just not happening. Now being intimate is starting to feel like a chore and I just don't want to.

I'm getting so tired of the empty advice I'm getting from my immediate family. My mom and all of my sisters had all accidental pregnancies and they keep telling me that "sometimes it takes a while." As if they would know.

My DH is not putting any extra effort into this because he's not worried about it. Im worried that its not going to happen because I'm over 30 and he just keeps saying "its fine people get pregnant in their 30s all the time... its fine." I don't feel like it matters as much to him because he has a child already.

I'm sorry, I'm just a stressed weepy mess. Every month I tell myself that I'm not going to be disappointed and every month, I am.

 

[Bevziibubble]

Im sorry if I do this wrong, I just found this place.

I'm so tired of TTC. I feel alone and sad. I'm tired of feeling like a failure because I'm trying so hard and it's just not happening. Now being intimate is starting to feel like a chore and I just don't want to.

I'm getting so tired of the empty advice I'm getting from my immediate family. My mom and all of my sisters had all accidental pregnancies and they keep telling me that "sometimes it takes a while." As if they would know.

My DH is not putting any extra effort into this because he's not worried about it. Im worried that its not going to happen because I'm over 30 and he just keeps saying "its fine people get pregnant in their 30s all the time... its fine." I don't feel like it matters as much to him because he has a child already.

I'm sorry, I'm just a stressed weepy mess. Every month I tell myself that I'm not going to be disappointed and every month, I am.

I'm so sorry

 

[Duckizu]

Thanks. I think the main reason I'm taking this so hard is that I'm originally from a very very rural community where people get married by 20 and immediately begin having kids and live pay check to pay check for the rest of their lives. I'm one of 6 myself. My grandmother had mom at 15, mom had her first at 17, sisters had their firsts at 16 and 15, and 19. I didn't want to raise kids in the environment that I grew up in. So I joined the military and went to college and waited for marriage and kids. Now a little voice in the back of my head keeps telling me that I waited too long and I should have done just like everyone else. I know that's crazy but if I personally knew even 1 person who waited and had had kids, I might feel better.

 

[Duckizu]

Hi all, this is my first time here but thought it would be the perfect place to vent my frustrations (I don't generally like to express my feelings, so find it difficult to talk to anyone I know about it). Been tentatively TTC for 16+ months and although we said that we would start off not trying, not preventing - every month has been like a failure for me.

When I first came off BC in January 2018, I had very irregular cycles and then AF didn't come for 3 months. I went to the doc who gave me Provera, which didn't work, so she put me back on BC for a month. AF finally came and then my doc sent me for an HCG to check if there was a blockage in my fallopian tube (not a fun experience at all). Got the all-clear. Since then, I started taking all the right vitamins (Staminogro, Folic Acid, Omega, Agnus Castus), and my cycles have become a lot more regular and each cycle I get signs that I could be ovulating (CM) but negative OPKs.

I've been doing a lot of research on nutrition for TTC and have just been trying to do all the right things. Every month before AF, there's a glimmer of hope and every twinge in my belly or feeling of nausea or breast tenderness makes me think "maybe this time" (damn that 2WW), but it never is. This time round, I had almost convinced myself that I was definitely pg, but then AF arrived this morning and I'm left completely deflated. I know I really need to talk to my husband about it, but he just doesn't seem as interested to go full out TTC as I am and is kind of in the 'it'll happen when it happens' mindset. Meanwhile, I'm just so impatient, and then of course all my friends around me are just popping out babies like there's no tomorrow, and I try my hardest to be happy for them on the surface, but inside all I can think is 'why is it so easy for them, but not me - what's wrong with me, why does everything have to be so difficult'. I'm trying to stay positive, because obviously stress doesn't help, but on days like this, it's just too hard.

I understand. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Reading your post is like looking in a mirror. Please know that I'm sending you hugs and I'm rooting for you. (Also, why are husband's so unconcerned? Is it because we feel like we're up against a hard deadline and they aren't?)

 

[Duckizu]

I have been trying to conceive since April. Periods were pretty normal, around 31 day cycles, so at first I thought we just couldn't get the timing down. Then I got diagnosed with PCOS. My doctor said I wasnt ovulating, even though my cycles were normal.

I was on metformin for 2 months before my first round of clomid. I seemed to respond well to it, so much so my doctor also gave me a trigger shot. I thought this was our chance! A guarantee that it would work.

Like clockwork, AF showed up. I was devastated, especially when the day before I thought I got a FVL on a cheapie test. Nope. Period came right on time. I am beyond devastated. I dont know what we did wrong or why it didnt work. I literally cannot fathom why I'm not pregnant. I lied to myself and said it wasnt AF but implantation bleeding. I'm so delusional, I want this so bad.

DH is on deployment so we cant they again for god knows how long. I'm just so heartbroken and all alone. I feel like I have no one else to turn to. I've cried nearly every day.

All I want is a baby

I'm so sorry. I'm sending you hugs.

 

[Erica Grant]

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