TTC after miscarriage before AF

[TinyLynne]

My first OB did the same thing when I wanted to try after my first loss, HCG was 21, and she was so rude about it, "I know more than you, but do whatever you want" after I brought up some new research on wether it was necessary to wait or not. Wouldn't even look into it. I got my records from that office a few weeks ago, and it crushed me reading her notes about me "patient stated they were NOT waiting" um... No, I asked questions about it "we discussed in great length the risks" um... No, you didn't...

I was so upset that now these note are going to my new doctors and she made me look like an arrogant jerk.

Sorry, I get pretty upset just thinking about it.

Interestingly, when they sent my records, there was another persons records in there as well, her name, bday, social security number! Not to mention occupation and medical history etc. so instead of destroying the records and just forgetting about it, I filed a claim with the department of health and human services for wrongful disclosure of documents. I guess the revenge made me feel a little better, lol, although they were in the wrong, I mean, I could have stolen a persons identity with all that info (of course I never would).

 

[mssk]

I am so sorry you had that experience Tiny. It is sad that some Dr.'s just do not even try to really communicate and really "hear" what their patients are trying to say. Especially when there is research that states the opposite of what they are suggesting. It was really unprofessional for her to write her notes in a hateful manner. I would have done the same thing. DHHS should know about that it is a clear HIPPA violation and you would think someone would double check before sending records! Communication does not seem to be a strong suit of many people in medical professions. As patients we get treated like we never know anything. It bothers me so much. On one hand I am grateful I have seen this side of it. I am a CNA and I am in college to become a nurse in the hopes of becoming a nurse midwife. The care I have received has reinforced to me just how important it is to listen to patients.

 

[Powell130]

Powell- I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you! How many days left before you test?

TinyLynne- It has been heartbreaking. I felt like the Dr. was shaming me for not wanting to wait. Like we were irresponsible for not waiting after the first miscarriage. He demanded I wait this time. All I could picture was a judge slamming down his gavel in my head...like I had no choice but to follow his word or another loss would be my fault if we tried to soon. The worst part is I thought last time I took the Provera it took 5 days to induce bleeding but I must be remembering wrong. It takes 1-14 days after the last pill is taken (10 days of pills). So I officially have an entire cycle gone waiting for AF. Honestly I think I am going to lose my mind if it takes 14 days after I am done taking it to get AF. I think I will have trouble not trying this cycle. On the plus side the Provera is making me sick which stinks but it means it is working. I have some ovulation symptoms so that's good.
You are right none of us deserve this. But, it will pay off for us in the end. It is worth the wait.

I'm an addict and been testing every morning for a week lol not expecting bfp or af until next week tho

 

[Powell130]

My first OB did the same thing when I wanted to try after my first loss, HCG was 21, and she was so rude about it, "I know more than you, but do whatever you want" after I brought up some new research on wether it was necessary to wait or not. Wouldn't even look into it. I got my records from that office a few weeks ago, and it crushed me reading her notes about me "patient stated they were NOT waiting" um... No, I asked questions about it "we discussed in great length the risks" um... No, you didn't...

I was so upset that now these note are going to my new doctors and she made me look like an arrogant jerk.

Sorry, I get pretty upset just thinking about it.

Interestingly, when they sent my records, there was another persons records in there as well, her name, bday, social security number! Not to mention occupation and medical history etc. so instead of destroying the records and just forgetting about it, I filed a claim with the department of health and human services for wrongful disclosure of documents. I guess the revenge made me feel a little better, lol, although they were in the wrong, I mean, I could have stolen a persons identity with all that info (of course I never would).

Wow

 

[TinyLynne]

That sounds so exciting mssk! That would be such a rewarding profession! I was honestly looking up "most rewarding professions" after an annoying day at work the other day and midwife was one of them. My job isn't rewarding at all, I need to help people to be happy, I keep questioning why I chose my degree, but I'm glad I did so I could meet DH!

 

[mssk]

Powell- I am sure I will be the same way when it is time even though DH has asked me to hold off on testing when it is time so that we get "good clear lines."

TinyLynne- That's what I thought. I worked in a nursing home for awhile but although it was rewarding work and I loved my patients it was depressing. I decided to go back to school. I need happy work too!

 

[TinyLynne]

Don't you love when husbands say "just hold off"... Yeah, ok honey.... NOT! we are crazy people that NEED TO KNOW! Lol

 

[Powell130]

Powell- I am sure I will be the same way when it is time even though DH has asked me to hold off on testing when it is time so that we get "good clear lines."

TinyLynne- That's what I thought. I worked in a nursing home for awhile but although it was rewarding work and I loved my patients it was depressing. I decided to go back to school. I need happy work too!

For that reason I don't tell hubs when testing time is

That and I test after he goes to work so he doesn't see how much if a freak I am when I turn the flashlight on

 

[mssk]

LOL yes!!! That is when I just make up some excuse for why I need to go to the store and hide the tests under other items. Then I wait for him to fall asleep or go to work. He knows I am crazy and has caught me sauntering out of the bathroom at all hours. But a girl has got to know!

 

[Powell130]

LOL yes!!! That is when I just make up some excuse for why I need to go to the store and hide the tests under other items. Then I wait for him to fall asleep or go to work. He knows I am crazy and has caught me sauntering out of the bathroom at all hours. But a girl has got to know!

Hahahhahaha

 

[TinyLynne]

Yup. I think we should probably start investing in first response stock... This time of the month has to be pretty high! Lol

 

[Powell130]

Soooo my temp wasn't accurate...hubs turned the thermostat down last night, said I was sweating when he got home

 

[ttcnumber2ky]

My first OB did the same thing when I wanted to try after my first loss, HCG was 21, and she was so rude about it, "I know more than you, but do whatever you want" after I brought up some new research on wether it was necessary to wait or not. Wouldn't even look into it. I got my records from that office a few weeks ago, and it crushed me reading her notes about me "patient stated they were NOT waiting" um... No, I asked questions about it "we discussed in great length the risks" um... No, you didn't...

I was so upset that now these note are going to my new doctors and she made me look like an arrogant jerk.

Sorry, I get pretty upset just thinking about it.

Interestingly, when they sent my records, there was another persons records in there as well, her name, bday, social security number! Not to mention occupation and medical history etc. so instead of destroying the records and just forgetting about it, I filed a claim with the department of health and human services for wrongful disclosure of documents. I guess the revenge made me feel a little better, lol, although they were in the wrong, I mean, I could have stolen a persons identity with all that info (of course I never would).

mssk and TinyLynne- this is horrible! I hate when Drs act frustrated that you have questions or concerns and don't just take at face value everything they say. They "practice" medicine because everyone is different AND because new discoveries are made every day in medicine. It'a supposed to be a partnership and they have to listen in order to make that work. I hope you both find the support that you both deserve.

I asked my docs about waiting and they gave me their standard 2 cycle answer. I decided not to discuss it further and just move forward as my DH and I see fit as they did say "this is just our recommendation, but you can of course use your own judgment". I guess we will see what they say though if it actually results in something!

 

[ttcnumber2ky]

LOL yes!!! That is when I just make up some excuse for why I need to go to the store and hide the tests under other items. Then I wait for him to fall asleep or go to work. He knows I am crazy and has caught me sauntering out of the bathroom at all hours. But a girl has got to know!

Hahahhahaha

I am so guilty of this too!!!! I'm really trying to show restraint this time, but with 10 days to go I'm already getting antsy!

 

[ttcnumber2ky]

Soooo my temp wasn't accurate...hubs turned the thermostat down last night, said I was sweating when he got home

Fingers crossed for you!!

 

[TinyLynne]

Exciting Powell!

 

[ttcnumber2ky]

I feel like I've seen that after a mc you can ov late, but is it possible to also ov early?? I do not temp or use opk's, but I feel like I've been experiencing symptoms for about a week now which would be too long if I o'ed at normal time. Basically I'm just trying to give myself an excuse to test early

 

[mssk]

YAY Powell!! With our DS I was sweating like crazy during the real early days.

 

[TinyLynne]

I never really have a problem finding an excuse to test early. If I want to, I will, and I don't feel guilty about it anymore. To me, it is worth the money to just know. That being said, it is only worth it after a certain DPO, and then I do them every other day, not usually everyday.

 

[ttcnumber2ky]

Agreed. I think I was just trying to do that because I told myself since this was the first cycle after the mc that I was going to play it cool and try to not have high expectations. In other words, if I end up with a BFP, fantastic. But if I don't, at least with AF, I will know the start of my next cycle. So that's why I had the goal of trying to wait. Probably me trying to protect myself more than anything.

But it's a lost cause I think because I can't help but have high expectations. I was just trying to determine my 'start testing date' based on my normal cycle but I guess there is nothing normal about this cycle given how it started. So I didn't know if there was any point to testing earlier than I normally would have previously for my 30 day cycle length.