TTC after multiple losses

[Trying4first1]

Trying-When I saw the specialist in Jan I left feeling disappointed and more convinced to direct my own care. I think a lot of those clinics go straight for the kill (drugs and Ivf) rather than getting to the root of the problem and fixing things. It's absolute bullshit that it takes longer to get of after each mc. I have been of 6 times in a year...no problem getting pregnant just staying of but I don't believe that has anything to do with the miscarriages.
My decision to see a naturopath was driven by wanting my body to do things on its own. I believe once it's balanced I will sustain a pregnancy. I have 2 children and know my body is capable. I am older but I think that is only a small factor.
Cary-I'm sorry your niece made the decision she did but goon on you for still getting the baby something. I'm sure her decision was based more on geography than anything. I wouldn't expect anyone to drive all day long for a shower.

Hi ready. I can see where you are coming from. I find these treatments so harsh sounding. I really want to avoid that route. I am sticking to my extra vitimins and will take the asprin and will hope that the extra reassurance scans will lower my stress levels.
I agree it is total rubbish about it taking longer to conceive. Wow 6 times in a year!! You are very fertile. I am averagely fertile. Managed to get pregnant 3 times in 17 months but had a few gaps and one time it took a while to conceive again (very frustrating).
I think our bodies do need the chance to do things on their own. If you have had children before you know your body is capable

 

[Trying4first1]

Vicky welcome the more the merrier!
I replied to you just now on the MC thread. We are in the same boat.
That's good that you fall pregnant v quickly. Sadly I don't in general but I am averagely fertile so expecting it to take a little while. I never get pregnant first try. However I did on cycle 3 once
Hopefully your AF arrives soon so you can begin TTC

 

[ReadynWaiting]

Trying-my super fertility is just this year. When ttc dd (I had 2 mc prior) it took about 4 months to get pg each time. This time ttc it was 13 months before we had our bfp and then all of a sudden each time we tried we got pg. 2 times I couldn't figure how we did get pg when we literally did it once about 6 days pre ov and 7 days pre ov. My Dh was questioning me like I dtd with someone else because we were hardly doing anything lol.

 

[Vicky_92]

AF arrived so back to TTC again. FX for our rainbows

 

[ReadynWaiting]

Everything crossed!

 

[Trying4first1]

Ready that is amazing. i sometimes think that having a baby helps as most of my friends seem to have found ttc their next babies much quicker. However on the other hand I have had a couple struggle second time around.
It is definalty all down to luck too. I said to DH is like rolling the dice each month and eventually we will get the winning number.
I do wish we fell pregnant quicker. I hear of all these women getting a BFP straight after a MC but my body seems to be lazy

 

[Trying4first1]

Good luck Vicky. Hopefully my AF be here soon. Feeling. Crampy now as I type. Come on AF!!

 

[ReadynWaiting]

I'm hoping I'll catch one good egg one of these times. I'm on a slight break until my next cycle and then we will start ttc again. I went to a mini fertility retreat today run by my reflexologist (she is also a doula) which was amazing. We started with a release (had a good cry), sharing our journey, then yoga, visualization, affirmations, mala making and ended with goddess cards. All of this resonates with me so it was just amazing. She sent us home with some herbal tea (uterine tonic), herbal bath infusion, a few crystals and affirmation cards. I feel like everything is starting to align and the timing will be perfect to make our rainbow.
We will all be ovulating under a new moon when growth is at its highest. Good things are coming our way ladies!

 

[Trying4first1]

Ready I hope you are right there are lots of positive vibes coming from you, so it seems as if things should start to fall into place now.
I still havnt got AF on CD34. Im not used to long cycles. I was 28 days on the dot before my last MC. Really hope these cycles sort themselves out as I'm loosing precious ttc time

 

[ReadynWaiting]

Trying-after my loss in the fall I waited weeks for my cycle to start and it wasn't. After 5 weeks I started reading how to bring it on. I don't like meds or intrusive measures so I came across natural ways to induce it. I was doubling up on Vit C and drinking apple cider vinegar. My period started a few days after.

 

[Trying4first1]

Oh never heard of the Vit C thing. Will have a read up on that. I think I have some Vit C in my medicine bag.
My first cycle post MC took 5 weeks. This is my second cycle and it's now been 5 weeks and nothing. I don't think I ovulated which may be causing this long cycle?

 

[ReadynWaiting]

I was thinking this was your 1st cycle since mc. This may still work to bring it on. Sorry it's taking so long to show. There is nothing more frustrating than your body not doing what it should.

 

[wannabemummyb]

My af post 4th mc took about 12weeks to turn up. Still waiting on my second - it's been about 8 weeks! my body normally takes a while to recover from any hormonal changes probably due to the PCOS & thyroid!! It just makes the journey post mc harder because you feel like your losing more precious ttc time!

I've started having some counselling - had two sessions and we have started off talking about the mcs but also childhood etc. Not sure if it's helping or not

 

[Trying4first1]

Hi wannabemummyb.
So sorry you are also in this boat. I guess our bodies just need a bit of time to sort themselves out. I am normally very regular so things are way off track at the moment. I don't think I even ovulated this month, hence the long cycle maybe.
I know what you mean about loosing ttc time. It's so frustrating.

I had counselling after my second loss in the form of CBT. I'm not convinced it did much but I went along with it. I can feel my depression coming back again and I am not my usual self since suffering from RPL. But I am trying my best to get through it all. I am rejoining the gym and keeping my weight down as a focus. I lost 23ibs before becoming pregnant and I don't want to put it back on.

 

[ReadynWaiting]

I hate that anyone has to experience loss. I started going to a pregnancy and infant loss support group last month and it has been helping. We talk about our stories, cry and have people to connect with. It's helping but it is showing me how much I haven't dealt with my losses.

 

[Trying4first1]

That sounds like a great help ready. Sadly I can't seem to find anything like that here. There just doenst seem to be anything around. I wish there was.
I worry that I have not dealt with things right. At the time I think of the physical process and things in practical terms. It seems to hit me a couple of months later. Last time I had an awful breakdown about 2-3 months after our loss. It was horrendous. I'm am so scared of it happening again. I feel so low some days. DH has noticed that something is up and he is cuddling me lots. I just keep telling him that I have a headache, which should be believable as I always get them. I don't feel I can talk to him. After the MC I spoke about it lots and he told me that he doesn't want to hear about it anymore. He can't talk about things over and over. He does the in denial approach.
I feel I can't talk to my own husband. It's awful. We are both such a close couple and more so since all of this, but we grieve in different ways.

 

[Trying4first1]

Ps. AF has finally arrived. Was just very light almost spotting yesterday. Very heavy flow today. Last months AF was very light so I am guessing my body is having alot to clear out

 

[ReadynWaiting]

Trying I'm sorry you have no one to talk about. Please feel free to talk to me on here or pm if it's easier. I understand completely how you feel. I don't really talk to my Dh either as he thinks I'm just obsessing about stuff or shuts me down if I start to get upset.
Things that have really helped me is reading and planning out the care I want. I have made connections with great practitioners but it has been a year in the making. I feel like time is running out for me as I turned 38 in Feb. I've always said that I didn't want to be 40 having a baby but it's looks more and more like that is going to be what happens. I also have a plan to go to Vegas for my 40th so I may have a baby strapped to me as I do go. I'm trying to clear out the emotional and mental blocks that I have set up over the course of the last 2 years.
My naturopath is trying to get my periods longer (used to only be a day or two) and now they are great with a good flow and colour. I hope for you this month is a good clean out and your rainbow is close.

 

[Trying4first1]

Thank you ready. I appreciate that. Same to you too. It's great to speak on here with other ladies who understand all of the crazy emotions that come with RPL.
I think my DH also thinks that I become obsessed (I do if I'm honest) and it drives him crazy.i think he hates seeing me upset too and he knows there is nothing he can do to take the pain away.
I too have done so much reading. I read prof Regans book was was very insightful.
Ahhhh a baby strapped to you in Vegas would be super cute 😊 Don't worry about your age at all. My mum had my brother at 42 and all went well. I think you will have your rainbow by then for sure!
Good that your periods are now much better. That is a good sign. Our periods are important for our fertility. I believe my body is slowly preparing itself again. This AF is clearing out any lining that would not be good for a pregnancy and my body is going to create a new lining perfect for a rainbow.
Really hope we both get there soon. It needs to be our turn now

 

[wannabemummyb]

That sounds like a great help ready. Sadly I can't seem to find anything like that here. There just doenst seem to be anything around. I wish there was.
I worry that I have not dealt with things right. At the time I think of the physical process and things in practical terms. It seems to hit me a couple of months later. Last time I had an awful breakdown about 2-3 months after our loss. It was horrendous. I'm am so scared of it happening again. I feel so low some days. DH has noticed that something is up and he is cuddling me lots. I just keep telling him that I have a headache, which should be believable as I always get them. I don't feel I can talk to him. After the MC I spoke about it lots and he told me that he doesn't want to hear about it anymore. He can't talk about things over and over. He does the in denial approach.
I feel I can't talk to my own husband. It's awful. We are both such a close couple and more so since all of this, but we grieve in different ways.

I feel exactly the same apart from the breakdown a few months later - I cry initially, then focus on dealing with the mechanic of it (I bleed really heavily each time) then carry on with life going back to work a day or so later. A few months later I start to feel dispear but just carry on and bury the emotions. Hence my need to see a counsellor as I'm starting to feel that I can't cope.

As for not being able to talk to your husband - yep that too! Men find it much easier, IMO to get over it and I think that's for a couple of reasons 1) they don't have to go through the physical and hormonal side of pregnancy and the subsequent loss 2) they don't blame themselves for the mc because ultimately it's not their body that betrayed them again and again! I'm not saying that in reality we are to blame but to me it sure feels like it!

Apparently the counselling is helping me get in touch with my feelings lol