TTC + Guilt

[emmanina]

Hello
This is my first post after a few weeks of serious lurking...ok....i am now 29...but first realised was pregnant when i was 17 years old and 8 weeks gone - i had taken many tests but none was BFP at the time. It took til i was 8 weeks before i experienced a proper BFP but was 17 and had been with my boyfriend only a few months. So decided it was best to have an abortion.

Now more than ten years later i am with the same lovely guy and we want to TTC.I feel so guilty for what happened so long ago and hope it never affects what we so desperately want now, but somehow i feel that my punishment will be to not have any child.

All my friends and family seem to be able to have a baby as soon as they wish and we want one so much. But, now i just can't believe that we will be blessed again. So, really I am trying to ask that nobody judges us against what happened ten years ago and we are somehow able to have the baby we want so much.

At some point over the next few months we want to move to the TTC forum...hopefully will see some of you there xx

 

[nadupoi]

Nobody will judge you here, hun. Make yourself at home. I'm glad things are now working out just how you wanted them to. It's funny how things happen somtimes.

 

[mandaa1220]

No judging here hun x
I think it's a normal thing in general to feel like you won't be able to be blessed with a child, especially while the anxiety of WTT is building up and you're asking yourself so many questions. You have to realize that no matter what you do at this point in time is going to effect that, so stick around and relax

We are all here, if you ever want to talk !

 

[Amygdala]

Don't feel guilty for your decision 12 years ago! It sounds like it was the best way at the time. You were 17 and hadn't known the guy for very long. Who's to say that you two would still be together now if a baby had been added to the equation so early on? Who's to say you wouldn't have broken up under the pressure that comes with being a very young parent. The time then just wasn't right for that little soul to join you yet. Now you've had time to get settled, financially and emotionally and you're ready to welcome your child and give it the best possible life, a life that you probably couldn't have given it then. So please don't feel guilty for doing what you thought was right by you and your future family. And try not to worry too much about being able to conceive. I can understand that you would, but you're still young and should be in an ideal place biologically to conceive. Just don't stress yourself out too much, because that can make conceiving harder.
If you start temping and make sure you have sex around ovulation it should not take you long. And if it does, then there's a million things that they can do nowadays to help you. Please don't think that if you don't conceive straight away it's some sort of judgement on your actions 12 years ago. Just enjoy the fact that now you are ready to welcome that little soul into your life and give it everything it needs and more to become a happy, healthy, thriving child.

 

[xxJennaBearxx]

Hello
This is my first post after a few weeks of serious lurking...ok....i am now 29...but first realised was pregnant when i was 17 years old and 8 weeks gone - i had taken many tests but none was BFP at the time. It took til i was 8 weeks before i experienced a proper BFP but was 17 and had been with my boyfriend only a few months. So decided it was best to have an abortion.

Now more than ten years later i am with the same lovely guy and we want to TTC.I feel so guilty for what happened so long ago and hope it never affects what we so desperately want now, but somehow i feel that my punishment will be to not have any child.

All my friends and family seem to be able to have a baby as soon as they wish and we want one so much. But, now i just can't believe that we will be blessed again. So, really I am trying to ask that nobody judges us against what happened ten years ago and we are somehow able to have the baby we want so much.

At some point over the next few months we want to move to the TTC forum...hopefully will see some of you there xx

im 19, a bit younger than you. but i just wanted to say that it was so long ago, you were 17 years old. no one can judge you for that decsion. you did what you felt was best for you at that time in your life. no one is going to judge you. these ladies seem to be a friendly bunch

 

[goddess25]

I think you obviously made the right decision at the time for you. You are now older and in a position to provide for a child... your in a stable relationship and your ready. I can understand how you feel I had a few friends in the same situation and they had the same worry they all have kids now. Try not to punish yourself for your decision when you were a child yourself. You will soon be trying and it will happen for you. I am moving over to TTC in Feb so hope to see you there, we can keep each other company there. It will happen for you.

 

[goddess25]

Oh and welcome to B&B its a fantastic forum there are tonnes of ladies with lots of fab advice in reagrds to well.... anything really.

 

[emmanina]

Thanks for your nice replies, it's amazing how much it helps having other people appreciate the way you feel.

I suppose more than anything it's just the guilt that I've carried around with me, but now I feel that we are finally in the position to make things right.

What a great site this is - being able to really talk about how you feel and not be judged harshly...thanks for your support, it has really helped and hope to return the favour at some point! Good luck to us all xx

 

[babybump2010]

Welcome to B&B!!
I agree with all the ladies above, no one will judge you hun. It was 10 years ago and you did the right thing, you weren't ready and have waited untill you both are before bringing a little one in to the world and that is a VERY Sensible decision and i can only imagine how difficult it muct have been to make.

Good Luck with TTC

 

[princess_bump]

please don't feel you will be judged, we're all here to listen
welcome to bnb :wave:

 

[Lovemyboy]

Don't feel bad honey, it was obv the best decision at the time. I have never went through anything like that but i can imagine how upset you must feel.

I really believe your time will come honey and i don't for one second believe that you are being punished.

Keep your chin up and i'll keep my fingers crossed for yous x x