Kays Queen
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- Jan 30, 2011
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After a night of drinking, Kelvin crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.
He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the foot of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe.
"Who the hell are you?" demanded Kelvin, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"
*
The mysterious man answered, "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St. Peter".
Kelvin was stunned, "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much too live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send me back right away".
St Peter replied, "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.
We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."
Kelvin was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.
"This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?"
*
"It's not so bad," replies Kelvin, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode".
"You're ovulating," explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before."
"Never," replies Kelvin.
"Well just relax and let it happen,"said the rooster.
And so he did, and after a few uncomfortable seconds, an egg pops out from under his tail.
An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.
When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had happened to him....ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack at the back of his head and heard his wife shouting,
"Kelvin, wake up you drunken *******, you are shitting in bed!!!"
He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the foot of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe.
"Who the hell are you?" demanded Kelvin, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"
*
The mysterious man answered, "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St. Peter".
Kelvin was stunned, "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much too live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send me back right away".
St Peter replied, "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.
We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."
Kelvin was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.
"This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?"
*
"It's not so bad," replies Kelvin, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode".
"You're ovulating," explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before."
"Never," replies Kelvin.
"Well just relax and let it happen,"said the rooster.
And so he did, and after a few uncomfortable seconds, an egg pops out from under his tail.
An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.
When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had happened to him....ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack at the back of his head and heard his wife shouting,
"Kelvin, wake up you drunken *******, you are shitting in bed!!!"
