Gypsy: Don't apologize, really! Those kinds of issues are very real and can be hard to deal with. I speak as someone that has thought the same things with my DH. It impacts you in many ways, so please let it out here if you need to. Even if there's nothing we can do to help, I hope that it at least helps by getting it out and knowing that you're not alone in those feelings.
I'm sorry that he's not being receptive about how it's making you feel. I don't know if this is an option, but could counseling maybe help a bit? I get that if he doesn't think that there's an issue, but I think that there's an issue when he says it's your issue, not his, but really it is his issue because you're telling him how he's making you feel, and he's ignoring that. I'm only thinking counseling as maybe someone removed from the situation could help put things in perspective and maybe even get him to be more open about it and accepting of how it's making you feel. Maybe they can even help with some ideas to get you two back on track with everything.
I wish I could give you a big
because it truly feels like I'm looking into a distorted mirror. Only distorted because everything you're saying hits home so hard for me, but only with some slight differences. Please do come in here to talk about it if you need to. It's very hard and can feel lonely. We're here for you
cns: Keep us posted on testing! Keeping fx!
AFM, temp stayed the same at 97.43 today with new thermometer. Old thermometer was up to 97.33 from 97.25. I'm wondering if getting the new thermometer was absolutely pointless lol
I'm not sure if I should just go back to the old one at this point (I have my temps from the last 2 days with the old as well so can change the info). I feel like it'll be inaccurate either way because of switching thermometers, so I feel like I have nothing to lose at this point.
I'm thinking of just going back to the old for the rest of this cycle. DH said he'd give me one more cycle, so I think I'll just switch to the new at the start of the new cycle which could theoretically be any day now (CD 50 today, last cycle CD 55) unless I'm actually still annovulatory and any temp shifts were illness or hormonal imbalance and it's just going to keep dragging on and on. So yeah, probably switching back to the old to finish out this cycle at the very least as that'll at least keep up with my old temps.
I'm really not hopeful about this cycle. I think my hormones are too screwed up. But all opks have been absolutely 100% without a question negative. If I did ovulation, I'm not sold on it being CD 37, but I'm guessing if I did it was anywhere from CD 37 - CD 42 (with dry cm starting CD 40 but with a blaring positive opk)
Today CP is high, soft, closed with dry cm. I removed all positive opks other than a couple as I feel like that could possibly be throwing FF off. I removed the one from CD 37. While I think it was positive, it wasn't blaringly so. CD 38 - 40 were without question. I removed the one from CD 40 though to hopefully eliminate any FF confusion. I figured especially since CB advanced digital opk had me at peak on CD 38. Most charts only show 2 +opk, so I figured it'd be best.
With removing +opk from, it put solid cross hairs at CD 38 -- put it back in out of curiosity and it stayed at CD 38.
I feel like O could've been CD 38, 40 or 42, but out of those, I feel like CD 38 would be most likely based on everything. That's when sex drive was through the roof and to the moon. CD 39 I felt totally deflated and just felt very different. Temp went from 96.81 to 97.15. I don't know much about fallback rise but I wonder if that's what CD 40 was.
I think CD 40 maybe because of the big dip, but cm was dry. Temp went from 96.37 to 97.21 (but that morning was the whole ear debacle with broken sleep). Possibly CD 42 because last really positive opk was CD 40 (once only around 4:30), but cm and cp don't seem to match up, but had a temp shift from 96.92 to 97.70 (but still with ear issues, both severely infected, so not sure if that played a part in that).
So.... yeah.... that's my overanalyzing for the day. I just wish AF would show already so I can do better with charting next cycle, especially as I feel like this extended cycle has given me more insight into my body (cm, cp, etc).
ETA: first pic is chart with new therm... second pic is chart with old therm. I know, I need to stop messing with it... I just feel like my chart is a little pointless at this point anyway.
I'm sure I speak for everyone though when I say don't worry , we all struggle with things in our marriages and relationships . Maybe just lay it all out there for him and say you feel depressed and think he doesn't want you and for you it's not just about sex it's about the passion . See what he says and ask what he wants from you and tell him what you need from him . Maybe have a date night ? Dh and I try to have one once a month and it helps tons !
Einstein's definition of insanity...doing the same thing over and expecting different results 
