Ttc number 3 :)

[cnsweeney]

Oculi.. but hadn't they been treating him like garbage lately ? Like when you said they left him at home that one day & honestly if it were my house and my grown daughter was fussing with me because her children couldn't have my bed and my master bedroom I would probably kick and scream too Maybe he's just been holding it in so long and finally exploded. That's sad if she keeps the grandchildren away from him
But my prayers are with your family !

 

[cnsweeney]

Gypsy - I'm sorry about your bfn but like others said .. you are still early ! If you didn't implant until 8 dpo you may still not test positive for another day or two . Fingers crossed for you
Spunky - oh love , my heart hurts for you reading all that men are so stupid sometimes . They don't feel the way we do and certainly suffer from Alzheimer's when it's convenient . I understand what you mean about not wanting to keep doing this if he's not 100% . Pregnancy is a huge commitment for both of you and you don't want to feel alone in that . You want him to be just as thrilled .
I hope things sort themselves out for you , truly . Prayers being sent !

 

[Katy78]

Oculi, congrats on a healthy baby boy! Please tell us how telling your family goes .
Rearding your FIL - I think he got fed up with their treatment too. But maybe it will help clear things up. I just hope they'll be able to talk things through and not just go their separate ways.

Gypsy, I'm sorry about your BFN. I hope that changes for you. It's true that you're not out till AF comes but it's hard to keep your hopes up after you get a BFN. Hang in there!

Spunky, I'm sorry your DH keeps changing his mind. You should know for sure, such a rollercoaster is not fun at all... If he changes his mind again, put it in writing and get him to sign...
It took my OH a while to decide if he wanted to try again or not but now that he has, he never mentions not trying anymore. The only thing we discussed further was setting a dead-line - my turning 40. The baby would have to be born before I'm 40. I'm 38 and 5 months now so we have till September 2017 to try.

AFM, I took my first OPK yesterday. What surprised me was a quite dark (not positive yet) line on CD 11. That's super early. I just hope it doesn't turn into a negative followed by a wacky cycle like last one was. I can feel my ovaries but I thought it was only due to clomid doing its thing.
I guess I'll have to wait and see. I'll take another test when I get home from work today.

 

[Oculi83]

Cns, yes, they've been treating him like crap. It was just a matter of time for all this to happen. It'll break his heart not to see his grandchildren anymore. But SIL will only be around for one more year and then she'll go back to Australia. She and probably her hubby as well are really angry at FIL right now. Hope they all will calm down and rethink their actions.

Katy, thanks! yup, I'll let you know how they react.
I really really doubt they'll be able to sort things out. They just keep pointing fingers at each other. They're unable talk about their problems. The entire family is like that.. Except for my hubby.

Hope you get your positive OPK later!

 

[spunky84]

Gypsy: I really hope you know which way it's going here real soon. I know it's so frustrating. I'm still holding onto hope for you

Oculi: It makes it so much easier knowing that it's not just my DH! I feel like I can at least cut him a little slack if it's because of his Y chromosome I'm sorry your DH missed the ultrasound! I know I would've been upset for sure. DH was pretty crappy during my pregnancy with DS - just very un-involved. He worked 5 minutes from my midwife's office (with his aunt as his boss and definitely had ways of slipping out of work for a few when he absolutely needed to), but when I thought I was having a mc with DS, he didn't even bother trying to go. Didn't even ask (I would've understood if she absolutely refused, but he didn't try). I hated going through that by myself. Then for the anatomy scan, he just sat back and didn't even look. He only peaked briefly one or two times.

That sound so stressful with FIL I can't imagine what it must be like for everyone I hope it all settles down soon.

When are your parents supposed to get your announcement? The anxiety would kill me, waiting for them to get it lol

cns: I think part of the problem with DH is that he has the emotional range of a teaspoon. Seriously lol I feel like our communication is part of the problem (with his lack of emotion lol). I always feel like I have to analyze what he's thinking, even when he says things. I think that's part of the problem because, from what he tells me what he thinks and feels, it doesn't seem to match what he's expressing, so that leaves me trying to figure him out a lot. So I know that doesn't help anything.

Katy: DH pestered me all evening yesterday saying that we're still going to try. I was too irritated by the whole situation and just said then he'd better put it in writing I think it'd just help if he'd start remembering things. He said he just got confused because we discussed so many different things with ttc, which I guess is understandable.

Did it take awhile for your OH to decide? I think the biggest problem with DH is that he's always so terrified of change, and more kids = more change. So I think he gets torn between trying to make me happy and his fear of change (which isn't just with kids -- it's been a big part of our lives and has given us a lot of hurdles).

Good luck with your opks! Hopefully O will be real soon, and even more so that it's more of a normal cycle for you.

 

[Gypsy99]

Thanks everyone for the positivity. I really doubt it noe as my CP has shifted to AF position. Cramps are more prominent too. Think I might have a 27 or 28 day cycle rather than 39/30. My temp is still up but that's it. It will be down by Monday I'd say.

Oculi congrats and im so sorry about your family . Your fil sounds like he's put up with a lot of shit. Everyone has a breaking point.

 

[spunky84]

AFM, super exhausted today. In fact am hoping to take a short nap here soon. Hopefully. I didn't get to bed until 1 (just a little under 5 hours of sleep - which my body doesn't seem to tolerate as much anymore since I've been getting more sleep). My temps are usually fine, though, with that.

I'm too tired to deal with the stuff with DH right now, so I think I'm just going to get through the next week - week and a half and we can discuss again when things aren't so stressful. Though preferably before AF as I don't want the emotions of AF in way. He kept pestering me last night that we were going to keep trying. I don't know what to believe or think or feel, so right now I'm going with putting it on the back burner for now.

Temp this morning was 97.40, so a second day of dropping. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Like kind of bummed, but at the same time telling myself that regardless, there's nothing I can do about it and that I won't even know for like another week what the deal is or if there is a deal, so I'm choosing to not stress over it. (yeah I'm that tired lol)

It's just been a long day already and it's still only early afternoon. I had my last final this morning and then on my way home ended up with a flat (and destroyed) tire on the highway. Fortunately I was only maybe 5 minutes from DH's work, so he was able to leave and get the spare on for me, but it still took me over 2 hours to get home from the time that it happened. So my energy from dealing with things right now is pretty much just spent, so I'm going to take the next couple of hours to just relax and do nothing until I have to get the kids in a couple of hours.

 

[spunky84]

I'm sorry Gypsy I'm really praying not, so I'm going to keep fx anyway, but otherwise thinking of you

 

[Gypsy99]

Thanks Spunky. I'm quite destroyed actually. I know there's still a small chance but the last few cycles have been the same with AF pain and CP position so I'm 99% sure we are done. On top of that I mentioned it to DH that i was getting AF pains and I think we are out. He doesn't seem that phased. i asked him if he wanted to keep going and he said he didn't know. Which then lead into me saying well I'm not taking birth control anymore (it messes with my body wayyyyyy to much) and if he wants to stop trying it's up to him. So now it's "well i just won't give you any sex".

It's not like he really likes it anyway. Fucking men. I'm completely destroyed and he is oblivious.

 

[Gypsy99]

Have you got that in writing from your DH!! lol

They are putting us through the ringer really aren't they! In a way I can understand it they think we only want sex for that, we are emotional messes (in part because of their lack of care and empathy), and maybe they are just trying to keep us happy in their own weird way.

i was reading an article about secondary infertility too and how common it is for couples in their 30's to start experiencing problems. Caffeine, health habits etc are a major factor. I'm pissed because we had a conversation about a week ago about whether he would get tested and he was OK with it as long as he didn't have to go somewhere and do the deed, but now its "i don't know". Fuck that fuck fuck. I just wish I knew what the hell was going on.

Sorry these posts have turned into all about me, I'm just really in need of a giant vent and i can't really talk to anyone about it.

 

[Gypsy99]

So I just decided that drinking a shitload was a great idea. I had a work do tonight and went in going i'll only have one and go home. LOL that never happens when you work with construction workers. 6-7 pints and a cocktail later. I was off dancing with the boss talking shit with the guys and consoling one of the guys partners outside lol. I know I'm out so thought fuck it I'll let loose tonight. I think I needed something relaxing.

Spunky I hope you get your BFP this cycle. You deserve it.

 

[spunky84]

I'm sorry gypsy it sounds like you had a lot of fun last night and it definitely sounds like you needed it

How are you feeling?


AFM, temp only 97.42, so only up 0.02 from yesterday. I have zero hope that this would've been my month anyway.

I was trying to feel ok worn this morning's temp, but I'm sure it doesn't mean anything good.

Cm is dry it was borderline dry and creamy yesterday. Mostly dry though.

I'm having a crappy day. I woke up to DH being a compete ass. I don't even know why or what i did. I'm just so over everything right now. He has an attitude pretty much every weekend and I'm just so tired of it.

 

[Gypsy99]

I wrote something before but it didn't post!!

Anyway i wrote that your temp dip isn't too much, and also that it still has those shifts that show that you ovulated. Fingers crossed something happens for you still. it's still early days.

I did need to have that break and a relaxing time last night. I haven't gone out dressed up since my birthday unfortunately. It was nice to get pretty for the night.

My temp is still up. Although i don't know whether that was because of having a couple of drinks last night. It's not dipping at all! The rest of my signs are lacking too. Although i haven't had any AF cramps today at all. Only yesterday and the day before. Only a few more sleeps until starting it all again!

 

[Oculi83]

Spunky, my parents are supposed to receive the package next week. I'm tracking it online and on Friday it arrived in Switzerland. So, they'll receive it within the next couple of days. Eeeeek!! To make matters worse, I skype with them every Sunday. I'm already starting to show so, I just try to remain seated during the Skype session and if I have to get up I try to suck in my bump! Lol! Don't think I started to show so early with my previous two pregnancies.

Yeah, must be something in their genes that makes men act like that! Really don't understand them sometimes.

Gypsy, sorry about your DH! I really don't think they have the slightest idea what we're going through. But I'm glad you had a good time the other night.

 

[spunky84]

Gypsy: When do you expect AF to arrive? I'm hoping the elevated temp isn't from drinking, though totally get that it could be. How many days in advance do you usually get AF cramps?

Oculi: That is so exciting! That's too funny about having to remain sitting. I think it's possible to show earlier with more pregnancies! How'd you announce?


AFM, temp back up this morning. Finally. I felt certain it'd be low again.

CP yesterday low, soft, and closed. I did eventually getting a small amount of creamy cm. So far this morning cm is dry.

Trying not to SS as I really never get any, but can't help it (and will feel like a total idiot when AF arrives in about a week). But it could obviously be either, but my nose is really dry and bloody.

It could definitely just be the cold as I do get this every winter, but it doesn't usually start until January / February for me. Also even though I always get it, it's usually in smaller amounts. When pregnant with both DD and DS it was exacerbated. I've had it a couple of times already in smaller amounts, but today in greater amounts.

I'm kind of rolling my eyes at myself for even thinking it's a possibility as I'm 100% certain AF will be showing on or right before Christmas.

8dpo today. I just don't even feel like testing this cycle as I just feel like it'll be nothing but disappointment and a waste of sticks. Even then, I wouldn't really be able to anyway. The best I could really do is Thursday which I'd be 12dpo (unless I start before then), but my mom is coming that night and is staying until Christmas afternoon, and I can't imagine trying to sneak in testing (we have a small house, so it wouldn't be so easy).

I think the only good thing is that I've not been compelled to test this cycle. Last cycle I was poas like crazy, whether opk or hpt. I pretty much stopped with opks after O (only like a few times after, but it wasn't a big deal either way). The only reason I did any hpts the other day was because I was experimenting with them (heard about having a hpt close to an opk can give a false positive). So I was experimenting with the opks and 2 different brands of IC hpts to see if I could get a false positive on there by keeping them close together. So I wasn't even testing, just experimenting.

I just hope I can hold off until after I think AF is due, if AF doesn't show by Christmas. I really don't know when AF is due because of the irregularities, but Christmas would give me a 14 day LP, so I'm assuming AF is due either Christmas Eve or Christmas.

 

[Gypsy99]

Awww spunky. You aren't completely out. You've got wilpower with those tests too! At least if you only use one test you're not wasting $$. They are so exxy!

Your temps back up too awesome! !

Af is due Thursday apparently and a couple cycles ago I had these cramps at least 5 days beforehand. I was wearing a pad every day just in case.

I've had a slight temp drop today and CP is MMM this morning. I have a feeling she'll be here slightly early. I had a slight temp drop last month too then the next day was a massive one and an hour later...... .

 

[spunky84]

Thanks Gypsy. I really hope not. I just don't feel very optimistic. Plus I'm afraid of being too hopeful and then ending up totally disappointed, and then likely on Christmas Eve or Christmas (when I'd have to see my SIL who is due in February).

I'm really hoping tomorrow's temp stays up for you

I've been feeling tired today. I ended up napping for a couple hours this afternoon. It took everything I had to get up and cook dinner. I cannot wait for the kids to go to bed. I'm hoping to watch a movie with DH tonight and then get to bed early.

 

[Gypsy99]

That is so hard seeing people that are pregnant especially if you have just gotten Af not far until testing for you at least.

Ive been getting heavy af cramps today, but shit my nipples are on fire. My Cp keeps changing too which is usual I know, but its gone up and fully soft and closed a couple of times. Two more days....

 

[spunky84]

Did you have any AF type cramping when you were in early pregnancy with your first two, Gypsy? Really anxious to see your temps in the morning!


AFM, I had a wild hair before getting my shower. Since urine was pretty concentrated (long hold, unintentional), I decided to dip an opk and IC.

Opk was darkish, but what I didn't expect was to see a shadow on my IC hpt. I grapped a frer and a cb weeks estimator. Weeks estimator negative - which I expected either way), but the absolute faintest on the frer (pink for sure, but very difficult to see).

Dipped 3 more IC -- 1 was the 10 miu sure predict and the other 2 were the same as the first IC. I did the 3rd of the same hpt as the second one looked a little damaged.

I'm trying not to get my hopes up with everything being so light and it being so early, but either way my head is spinning.

 

[Gypsy99]

I can see something Spunky!!! That is awesome!! Can you go to the doctor for bloods?