TTC over 38, Phase 3 'Baby Buddies '

[StaceyM]

Yea, I know it's so hard to insulate them completely, and I feel like a crazy woman being so overprotective... I guess I need to buy hand sanitizer and put it in Regan's diaper bag, and then just keep sick people as far away as possible. Thanks for the advice. Uggh. Your set up sounds great. Our bed is high and the bassinet is lower so I have to get up to put her to bed, while trying to keep her asleep! I really want to buy a new bassinet, but she is already starting to roll, so I'm not sure how much longer it will be before she outgrows a bassinet anyway. Her full sized crib is large and will not fit in our bedroom.

I love your picture Heidi! You are so beautiful! You look younger than your age as well... It really seems like we all do on here for some reason. I really wanted to post a picture, but I thought about it a while ago, and being a teacher, I hate to have any definite identifiers on public forums just in case. Social media can sometimes be used against teachers in a variety of ways. I'm fairly popular with students, but it only takes one person to cause an issue. I also used to work as an actor in New York (not sure if I told you that), and while I am not famous or really recognizable by the general public, I am occasionally recognized. It probably wouldn't cause an issue but... one never knows who reads these things other than you guys...

 

[Heidipie77]

Thanks Stacey! I must have young genes or something as look younger than one of my sister's who is 15 months younger. Definitely best to play safe with social media and photos though if you are a teacher. A teacher friend has a fake name for fb to avoid the pupils finding her! I do recall you saying you had been an actor, was it in theatre? Are you from US and moved to Canada or vice versa?
Not much happening here this week but Joe did stay sitting on his own for a minute or so before falling this morning. Growing up so quick!

Hi to Raquel, jenny, Kiley and Jessie! All so busy now we have our lo's!

 

[RaquelDee]

Hi everyone, hope you are all doing well.

Heidi, pretty cool to hear that Joe is managing to sit! It feels like nothing much happens in the newborn phase for ages, and then all these milestones start to happen all at once.

I totally jinxed myself with my last post, we had a terrible week with sleep due to a massive growth spurt and also what I think was the four month sleep regression - random uncharacteristic wakings all over the place. She seems to be through it now although her naps have become rather random.

Stacey, I'm a teacher, too and really watch what I put on social media. I don't post photos for the same reason.

With taking Regan out to gatherings, maybe take her in a carrier? I've found that everyone wants to hold the baby, but if they are strapped to you rather than in the pram, people are less likely to ask. Also, you can always say that she's about to fall asleep and you don't want to disturb her if anyone asks to hold her. So long as you keep other people's germy hands away from her, she should be OK, I think.

 

[Heidipie77]

Raquel, the carrier is a great idea, as people see baby as being in your personal space and won't touch them without asking. During this past week I had one lady touching his hand then having a coughing fit right next to him and another who was spitting as she spoke and was too close for my liking.
Sorry to hear about a rough time with sleep. Joe's regression lasted about 3 weeks! He has been sleeping better for a week after doing a bit of sleep training with him for his last nap of the day. He has had sleeps of up to 6 hours and 45 minutes with just one or two wakes compared to sleeping an hour a time on the worst nights.

It's my birthday today. We are going for a meal at a gastro pub which is owned by a tv chef and is only a couple of miles away in a nice village. I haven't really been having a drink just the odd one every couple of weeks but will enjoy a glass of something today!

 

[StaceyM]

Which tv chef? My husband and I watch so many cooking shows, even though I am a terrible cook. I go out to eat at times as well. I think it is probably easier at this age in some ways than it will be later. Regan generally just sleeps in her car seat most of the time. I still haven't been able to squeeze a drink into the feeding schedule. I need to find a way now that her bf is established. Enjoy it Heidi.

I'm definitely not looking forward to the sleep issues you both describe. Maybe Regan will be good to me and skip it? I hate the coughing people that try to get in the baby's space! At least no one has tried to touch her yet. I think I exude the 'get away from us' vibe

The carrier is definitely a good idea. I decided not to go to the party at all. My MIL was trying to throw a shower before the Christmas party even though I asked her not to, and she threw a couple of temper tantrums when I asked her about limiting the guests and asking them to only come to the later party if they were sick. She then claimed that she never gets to see the baby, even though she has carte blanche to come over anytime. She's being selfish, wanting to show off the baby, and not thinking about her health and well being, so I just decided it wasn't worth the stress. Regan is eating and growing well. She's longer and bigger, but just isn't chubby. She's about 7.5 lbs at the moment; still smaller than a lot of newborns. Oh well... She's healthy and active, and that's all that matters.

Keep updating us on your babies!

 

[StaceyM]

Ugh...and I think I just got my period. Seriously!?

 

[Heidipie77]

That is soon for your period Stacey. No sign of mine yet, although I did get an iud a couple of months back just in case it decided to show up.
It's hard trying to get others to realise about the baby's schedule and work with it. I try my best to avoid naptimes for meeting people and appointments but sometimes can't avoid it which then throws the whole day off.
The tv chef is Simon Rimmer, not sure how known he is outside of the uk. The food was nice but just pub grub really so was overpriced.

 

[StaceyM]

Yea, you're right. I haven't heard of him.

 

[KileyJean]

Hello ladies! Long time no talk!! I have to say, being a mom to an infant is tough! But, I love every minute of it! I haven't been on in so long that I don't even know where to start! Ireland is 8 weeks old as of Sunday. At her appointment last week she weighed 9lbs 1.5oz and 21.5 inches long. She is small but her doc is not worried since she is hitting all of her milestones and I was pretty tiny as a baby (at 12 mos I was 17lbs 24 inches). She is smiling all the time now! Up until recently we have been battling reflux. Doc put her on Zantac and she is doing much better now. Evenings seemed to bother her the most but now it's just the normal crying instead of all night crying. Because of this I feel we are behind on tummy time since I have to keep her upright all the time or on wedges. So now we attempt tummy time after she wakes up from naps and before she eats. She does have pretty good head control despite all that though.

Can't remember who brought up holiday gatherings, but I wore Ireland in a carrier on Thanksgiving and it worked great! The only person that held her bedsides me was her grandma! Will try to do the same thing at Christmas. We will be traveling 2.5 hours with her on Christmas Eve so I'm hoping it goes smooth.

Breastfeeding is going well. I go back to work in about 3.5 weeks so I'm hoping my body can keep up with the pump and produce enough for her. I will be pumping three times per day while at work. 12 weeks is NOT enough for maternity leave!! I'm so jealous of all you Canadians.

I'll try to post more often now. Hope you all are doing well!!

 

[Heidipie77]

Hi ladies! Sorry I haven't been on for ages, have been busy trying to sort Christmas out and I had an interview for the teacher training last week.
Good to hear from you Kiley and Jessie (on phase 2 thread). Doesn't time fly? Btw Ireland is just gorgeous x
I have started Joe on food last Friday, just baby rice and veggies so far. The faces' he's been pulling are hilarious!
I'll keep it quick, seeing as its Xmas eve. Happy Christmas to you all for tomorrow xxxx

 

[Jenny Bean]

Hi everyone. Sorry haven't been on much. It's very annoying to type on my phone.

Heidi, when you feed your little one do you breast-feed first or breast-feed after. I just started my on some baby cereal once a day so far I don't know when to start her another foods. Also how much does Joe weigh now? Are you getting any additional shots for him? My doctor recommended the meningitis B shot?

I also have a question for everyone else. I am not happy in this marriage eventhough we have been married for 15 months.
He is so frustrating, he even complains about the way I wipe down the counter and fold the towel in the bathroom. He always comes up with a convincing way to tell me his way is better! Also he has a bad temper and has called me stupid, ******, bitch on multiple occasions! He is trying to get better so instead of calling me names he says things like "I am acting like an idiot" isn't that kinda the same thing? Also he swears in front of our daughter and says racist things and inappropriate things in front of her. I know she is a baby and can't understand but still? For example today Mya was fussing and he bent down to her and said what's wrong? Why are you complaining, you are just a girl and will be some mans property some day anyways!!! I was so angry and said never to say anything like that again even if he is joking!

Am I wrong to consider leaving him for this? I am sooo worried if I do he will get custody etc!

Sorry for the vent but I feel most comfortable talking about it in this space! Thanks

 

[Heidipie77]

Hi Jenny. Sorry to hear your husband is being the idiot (definitely him not you). It must be tough trying to look after Mya with him acting the way he does.
I have been feeding Joe for 2 weeks now and he has baby porridge with a pureed/mashed fruit in around 8am after bf at about 6.30/7am then he has dinner around 4pm with a feed around 5pm to get him off for a nap. A few times I have given him yogurt too at lunchtime. It's hard to say whether the food is affecting how much milk he takes but I guess we are gradually trying to wean him off bf altogether at some point. At this early stage its more to get them used to different flavours and textures rather than to have a full meal three times a day. I work in the NHS advising people on healthy eating and run weaning classes too, so have been introducing new foods pretty fast while he is receptive to the newness and novelty of eating. We don't have any food allergies to pass on so I am not concerned about him having a reaction (he's had veg, fruit, potato, yogurt, salmon and chicken so far)
I had him weighed last week (at 24 weeks old) and he was 15 pounds 3 ounces, so still fairly small. How much is Mya?

Joe has had the men B, as the NHS rolled it out from 1st September for 8 week olds, just when he turned 8 weeks himself. He suffered side effects of quite a high temperature with both vaccines but it came down with infant paracetamol.

Hi to Stacey, Raquel, Kiley and Jessie

 

[StaceyM]

Hello all. I can't wait until I can start feeding Regan different food. I'll have to pick your brain about weaning when the time comes Heidi. I plan to start to wean her around 6 months, although I would like it to be gradual. Regan is finally starting to gain. She was 8 lbs. 3 oz a week and a half ago at her 2 month appointment, and she is now just over 9 lbs. She's still in the 3rd percentile, but her cognitive and social development are ahead of schedule. I was worried about her physical development, but then a few days ago she learned to roll over...

Jenny, I'm sorry about the issues with the husband. I feel like this isn't the first time that you've felt this way. I guess before I give any advice I'd want to know more about the situation. It sounds like some of the things he is doing/saying are abusive, and racism is a problem for more than just your daughter. I would be less worried about the cussing, but the way he treats you is definitely a concern. You say that he is trying to get better. Is he willing to go to counseling? In my experience if a guy is willing to go to therapy then he really is trying to get better; if not... well then I always assume that he isn't really trying that hard. Is there anything that he is actively doing to stop calling you names? In Canada, usually the parents get joint custody unless there is a convincing reason to give sole custody. How would he react if you asked for a divorce and sole custody?

Kiley, it sounds like you have things all worked out for the time being. Have you heard of BioGaia? It's a probiotic drop for infants. The belief is that babies have an immature digestive system which improves with time, but that probiotics help foster the development of a well balanced gut biome. It's the same in adults really. It doesn't work immediately, but over time the digestive system will function better and lead to less stomach upset and reflux. It has helped Regan's reflux immensely. I also drink Kefir and take a probiotic so that it transfers into my milk. The theory is that if you fix the problem, then you don't need to treat the symptoms with antacids. It might make things easier for you and Ireland. When I was pregnant, I barely had any reflux...

 

[StaceyM]

The baby is sleeping and I'm actually bored for the first time ever... Where is everyone and their baby updates!? Dish ladies, dish!

 

[Heidipie77]

Sorry been MIA everyone! the daily routine doesn't half make the weeks fly by!

How is everyone doing? and babies of course?

I got Joe weighed yesterday (been going 4 weekly) at 28 weeks (how did that happen?) and he was 16 lb 12 oz and moved up from between the 9th/25th percentile to just above the 25th. He has really taken to his eating and has loved everything I have given him, even making mmm noises as he eats!

How are the reflux babies doing - Ireland and Regan? it must be so hard to see them in pain with it.
Stacey - I am still enjoying nap time as he has only learnt to nap on his own since early December, although I often find myself wandering about the house thinking 'what jobs shall I do while he's asleep' before deciding to chill with a cup of tea!

Joe is still waking up 3 times per night, he goes to bed at 8pm and wakes between 6:30 and 7am. I try to leave him to cry for a few minutes to see if he'll self settle but pretty much all of the time I am nursing him back to sleep. It's easy to just pick him up and comfort him back to sleep when he is right next to me in the bedside cot, but I am going to have to let him cry longer or go and and sleep with OH as I am probably not helping him sleep through by being there (I am in a single bed in Joe's room next to his cot at the moment - had no idea it would be 6 months and still not sleeping through!)

Anyway enough about me, what's going on with everyone else?

 

[StaceyM]

What is the norm for sleeping at Joe's age Heidi? I keep saying that Regan is sleeping through the night, meaning that she goes 5-6 hours, from about 1am to about 6-7am. I feel like that's pretty good, but I'm not sure if/when I should leave her for longer stretches. Regan gained 2+ pounds this month so we just got the 'all clear' on her weight, which I assume means that I don't have to worry if she sleeps a bit longer than 5-6 hours... As a side note, she is now 10 lbs. 6 oz. Yay!

I think Regan's reflux is just 'normal' reflux. My mother (NICU nurse) says that all babies have it to some degree; it's just that parents don't always notice it if their baby doesn't spit up a lot. Regan just makes a gagging sound, moves her mouth like she tastes something bad, and then starts shrieking. I didn't even notice that was the reason she cried so much until my mom pointed it out. The BioGaia probiotic is magical. She only has very mild reflux now, and her crying episodes are sooooo short. Phew.

Does OH sleep in a different room Heidi? I just make mine suck it up. I'm joking. He sleeps pretty well, and Regan is pretty quiet, so all of us are able to stay in the same room luckily. I like sharing a room with the baby too. I feel like it makes it easier to respond to her needs, so that I get there earlier, before she launches into a full blown cry.

Hello everyone else. Updates required!!

 

[RaquelDee]

Just popping in to update. Bub is a bit over six months now, and is due to crawl any day. She's spending a lot of time rocking back and forth on her hands and knees. She also likes clapping and blowing raspberries and is very smiley. She's taken to food really well, too.

On the downside, I've been back at work for just under a month, and ever since she started daycare she has been sick just about all the time, first a super-fun vomiting bug and now either one cold that has dragged on for ages, or two separate ones that overlapped. All of which she has given to me! Fortunately I have loads of sick leave banked up as I hardly ever had sick days in the past. My immune system used to be great but it's apparently total crap now.

She's been a really good sleeper, but all of these bugs have set her back a bit, her routine (which was fitting in nicely with my work hours) is now all over the place and she's back to catnapping and staying awake for shorter periods in between. And we've also had some attempted crawling antics in the middle of the night. Fingers crossed all this passes soon!

Back on the upside (and for those of you with reflux babies), she was always pretty refluxy although a fairly happy chucker. Once we started solids, though, the reflux mostly faded away. She's making up for it with loads of continuous teething drool.

How is everyone? Anyone else back at work?

 

[StaceyM]

Heidi, I sent a message to your inbox.

 

[Heidipie77]

Hi Ladies!

Sorry for disappearing for so long, I have been doing all kinds of things when Joe has his naps, so haven't had any spare time for leisure. I got a place on the teacher training course on September, so have been volunteering one day a week in a primary school and also need to pass a literacy and numeracy skills test, so have been studying for those, as well as studying for a maths GCSE (my original one was 21 years ago, so I wanted to refresh my subject knowledge before going to Uni). Also my team at work is being made redundant, so have been looking into redeployment plus maternity rights etc.

Lovely to have an update from you, Raquel. They grow so fast in this first year. How are finding work and home balance? Joe is in day nursery one day a week at the moment, I don't know how I'd mange more at the moment. He got his first cold just by us visiting the nursery previous to him starting!

Joe is well, also almost crawling, he drags himself about army style! Last night he crawled from his cot into my bed as I was trying to let him cry to go back to sleep so the co-sleeping days are numbered. The cot has a side which pulls over, so will have to start using this between my bed and his.
How is everyone else doing? I know Kiley went back to work a little while ago too, it must be hard finding time to check in on here.

 

[Scarlett2]

Hello. I thought I'd pop on and say hi now that Arthur has arrived. Early days for me but if anyone is around then hello!