TTC/Pregnancy while Breastfeeding and Tandem Nursing: Information and Support

[Janers]

Hey all, I'm a complete newbie here. I never thought I would still be nursing my baby at 13 months, but I'm so in love with her, and our nursing relationship. Anyway... I still haven't had a period, and we're starting to think about another baby. We always wanted to have babes within a couple years of each other.

My LO still nurses often, especially at night. Any idea how to become fertile again? Should i be cutting down on feeds (I'm hoping not too, I prefer to nurse her on demand). Any advice on where to start, books, websites or anything that could help me out?

Thanks!

 

[Leids]

Hi all, I just found out I'm pregnant still nursing 27 month old! When do your boobs start to get sore? I'm only 4 weeks now- but I thought they would get sore straight away !

I think some women get sore and some don't. I only become sore if my son is over zealous and/or bites and then it's sensitive for a few days but completely tolerable. Hopefully you don't get sore!

Janers: I got my period back at 3 months pp because my son sporadically decided he was going to sleep in 8 hour stretches at night (he was EBF and I fed him on demand as well). It only lasted a few weeks and he still doesn't sleep like that anymore, but I do think the lack of nursing at night is what caused my period to return.

 

[patch2006uk]

Urgh for nursing aversion heebie jeebies and general weirdness DS's latch is terrible these days, plus the fact he's clearly not getting much milk anyway, and my body is clearly finding it all a bit strange. I think weaning is on the way - he's gone to bed a few times now saying 'I don't want any meh tonight', and his feeds are shorter and shorter. I'm ready for him to wean whenever - I've met and exceeded any goals I once had - and I'm very happy with how our journey has gone so far. I wish these feeds, if they might be our last, didn't feel so damn icky, though...

 

[gidge]

Does the nipple tenderness ease of? I´m 13 weeks and it´s still so sore, even hurts when the water from the shower hits them

 

[I Love Lucy]

I've been EBF my DS for 9 months but found out yesterday he is losing weight rather than gaining weight. I'm now having to give formula. Has anyone else had to transition from EBF to formula. We're struggling over here. DS seems to think both bottles and sippy cups are more toys than a source of food. Very obviously wants to nurse off the breast. What I do manage him to get him to drink he spits up.

 

[dove830]

Hey all, I'm a complete newbie here. I never thought I would still be nursing my baby at 13 months, but I'm so in love with her, and our nursing relationship. Anyway... I still haven't had a period, and we're starting to think about another baby. We always wanted to have babes within a couple years of each other.

My LO still nurses often, especially at night. Any idea how to become fertile again? Should i be cutting down on feeds (I'm hoping not too, I prefer to nurse her on demand). Any advice on where to start, books, websites or anything that could help me out?

Thanks!

Janers, I'm in the exact same boat, except my little guy is 7 and a half months. I return to work at the end of June, and would really like to be pregnant by then. I was hoping to get pregnant in March or April, but here it is, February, and no period! Never thought I'd actually want my period. I've been doing OPK's since December to try and catch that first egg, but it seems as though my body TRIES to ovulate every 2 weeks, but it can't. I get a surge, but then nothing. And no, I'm no pregnant already, lol. I don't want to stop breastfeeding either, so I was hoping that solids would kick start the return of my fertility, but it hasn't so far. I've spent hours online trying to figure out what I can do, to no avail. I'm getting frustrated!

 

[lovie]

Hello

My little boy is 14 months old and breastfeeds lots, I'm very newly pregnant and the only regret about getting pregnant so fast is that I wanted to breastfeed my son until at least 2 years (or whenever he naturally weaned) and now it seems like this could be more difficult.

 

[honey915]

Congratulations lovie. I am jealous my son is 15 mo and my first alfie returned after birth just last month. Now im two days late and think we dtd at the right time but have had three bfns with fr tests and im obviously out. I was so pleased af returned so we could try again but now think ive just got ny hopes up after reading alot of women get af and then it just stops again. So just feel deflated anyone in a similar boat? Ttc and doubting fertilty is even there!!!! X

 

[Grateful365]

Congratulations lovie. I am jealous my son is 15 mo and my first alfie returned after birth just last month. Now im two days late and think we dtd at the right time but have had three bfns with fr tests and im obviously out. I was so pleased af returned so we could try again but now think ive just got ny hopes up after reading alot of women get af and then it just stops again. So just feel deflated anyone in a similar boat? Ttc and doubting fertilty is even there!!!! X

I'm in the same boat Honey! AF returned but looking at my chart it doesn't appear I ovulated...hoping for the best in the coming months.

 

[lovie]

I hope you get your bfps soon honey and grateful, waiting is no fun

It took us years to get pregnant with ds, I got his bfp the day before we were due to start IVF, me and dp both have fertility issues so I really didn't expect to get pregnant so soon especially whilst breastfeeding!

My baby has been "sharing" his boobies with his little teddy, he put's the little mouse on the nipple he isn't using, it's very sweet, I hope he is as sweet with his little brother or sister!

 

[honey915]

Aw lovie thankyou for the reassurance. Wish you a happy an healthy 9mo xxx

 

[Krippy]

It took us about three regular cycles after AF returned to fall pregnant where we have fell pregnant the first time every other time so don't give up hope, be patient, it will happen. We are still breastfeeding and things are going well. Nipple tenderness is at a minimum so far and milk took a little dip but DS doesn't seem to mind...other than the all day nausea things are going exceptional!

 

[futuremama88]

I am 30 weeks along with #2 and still nursing my toddler. Measuring the same as I did at 27 weeks so they are concerned about baby #2s growth. They told me to eat more, and I'm also considering cutting back nursing with my toddler. So I will try only nursing her once a day, and this weekend we will start giving her cow's milk. I don't want to wean her completely but I want to cut down a lot so that she isn't taking nutrients from baby #2. She has always been a high need baby and nursing means so much to her. I know that she isn't ready to wean. At the same time I am so worried about baby #2. Any advice?

 

[patch2006uk]

Your body won't prioritise a nursing toddler over a pregnacy. It's you who'll become deficient or compromised if your diet isn't good, not your babies. I'd say it's very unlikely the size of your baby is related to you nursing you eldest. That said, if you want to start putting some boundaries in place for nursing, then do that. I'd say if your toddler is used to demand or frequent feeding, dropping to one feed a day immediately might be too big a change all at once.

 

[patch2006uk]

Is the measurement fundal height? It's barely worth the paper it's written on if it is. If they're actually concerned, request a couple of growth scans. But even they're not all that accurate.

 

[futuremama88]

Thanks Patch, yes it is fundal height. And I am having two growth scans to check on baby. At 27 weeks I was measuring 27 weeks. And now at 30 weeks still measuring 27 weeks so they're concerned that baby hasn't grown. My 22 month old toddler nurses about three times a day so I'm going to try cutting it down to twice a day and then just once a day.

 

[MommyJogger]

Is the measurement fundal height? It's barely worth the paper it's written on if it is. If they're actually concerned, request a couple of growth scans. But even they're not all that accurate.

I really can't agree with this enough. With my first, they said I was measuring 39w at 33 for fundal height, which is a concerning discrepancy. Then did some growth scans and were convinced we were looking at an 11+lb baby that kept edging closer to 12-13 as we got closer to my due date. I was repeatedly tested for GD [always negative], instructed to start taking metformin again (I was prescribed these for PCOS before they even took blood sugar measurements for that diagnosis), and given nutritional counseling and a pretty strict diet plan even though I had gained under the average amount of weight (and I started out borderline underweight) for that pregnancy. I ignored them for the most part and my baby was born under 9lbs, wouldn't even call him chunky. So yeah, just my little anecdotal story about not taking growth measurements (especially fundal height) as the infallible word of god.

Does anyone have any experience with a nursling who completely weaned very early in pregnancy and then started nursing again once you gave birth? Did you do anything to help them remember how? Most of the women I talk to IRL say that once theirs weaned during a pregnancy, they simply forgot how to suckle properly to remove milk and couldn't take up nursing properly again once the new lo was here. But most of theirs were much younger than mine (theirs were mostly under 1) when they weaned during the pregnancy.
And could anyone suggest any natural coping methods for the hormone shift that comes along with a child weaning? Maybe some herbs that are safe during pregnancy? I obv can't go on antidepressants right now, but it's gotten to the point that I'm having a little trouble doing just everyday tasks. I have to remind myself to eat (I set timers) or I could just go all day without thinking about it because I'm still a little too nauseous to eat when DS does-- watching him eat has been a bit of a nausea trigger for months now, because he's just a little gross about it. None of the OBs in the area are supportive of unmedicated depression during pregnancy, but the medications I'm being offered by the hospital are listed as unsafe or of unknown safety during pregnancy. My HB midwife is supportive of not medicating, but she has no experience in dealing with it in safe/natural ways. I'm not suicidal, which seems to be what the OBs automatically assume. Just tired and struggling to get on with the day.

 

[futuremama88]

Thanks for the reassurance MommyJogger, I shouldn't take it to heart then.

I don't have experience with weaning but maybe some of my suggestions could help? I understand it's normal to suffer some depression when weaning, and you shouldn't feel pressured to accept drugs if you feel that you don't need them. I haven't had experience with depression per say but I've been having a very high-stress pregnancy and I've found some coping methods that help relieve anxiety, maybe they could help with depression too? I know exactly how you feel with being exhausted and not knowing how to get through the day. Are you a stay at home mom? I feel much better when I can find ways to get out of the house and get fresh air so I'm not cooped up all the time. I also did an exercise where I wrote down all of the things in life that were worrying me or causing stress, and then writing beside it the solutions to the problems. I just found that better than constantly worrying and playing things over in my mind. When I started with worrying or feeling stressed I could look back at it and quiet my mind. You could also try writing a thankfulness journal and listing all of the things in life you are grateful for, and when you are feeling down you can go and re-read it to cheer yourself up. There are a lot of things in life we take for granted and don't appreciate.

It may sound silly but it helped a lot for me. And the best way for me to cope when things are stressful is to focus on the relationships I have with the people I love (my husband and daughter). My issue has been stress and anxiety rather than depression but the same things may help you as they just generally help turn the mind from negative thoughts to positive ones.

 

[MommyJogger]

Thanks, futuremama. I work from home right now. I finished my degree before writing any of my papers to get me out of the lab as fast as possible, so I'm having to split my time as a SAHM and then write the last of my research papers at home when DS is having downtime and I can focus on the technical writing.
It's not really sadness or anxiety so much, though the pregnancy is definitely making me more teary than I'm used to. It's more like inertia once I'm down and having trouble keeping moving once I start to do something. I'll need to cook DS some lunch and I'll have been sitting on the floor with him and it'll take a good 10 minutes of convincing myself that "no, really, you have to get up and cook. No one is going to do it if you don't. If you just stand up, you'll be able to do it. Just stand up. stand up. stand up." because standing up once I've been still just seems gargantuan. I'll be painting house trim and I'll just put the brush down and not be able to do it anymore and I'll be stuck completely unable to finish any part of the task (cleaning the brush, closing the paint can) because it suddenly seems an impossible amount of work. I tried carrying old torn up cushions from the storage shed to the back of the pick-up truck to take to the dump and got halfway with one cushion and had to just sit down on the cushion and watch DS play in the backyard and I just couldn't bring myself to even finish taking that one cushion to the truck so it was still sitting in the middle of the yard when DH got home. There's been a pile of books sitting in the living room floor for a week because I just don't have the inspiration to move them 10 feet to the bookshelf. I just feel crippled, like part of me isn't working. Even loading the washer, putting soap in, and pushing the button is like "Man, I really don't know if I can manage all of that."
We go somewhere every day, but once we're there, it's a fight for me to pull myself together and load us back in the car to go home instead of just calling DH for help and just sitting there not moving. It almost feels like some kind of mineral deficiency, but my diet is good, way better than the average person, and I take prenatals and several other supplements (b12, iron, Mg, Ca, VitD) I took up when I was still bf during the pregnancy.

 

[futuremama88]

Thanks, futuremama. I work from home right now. I finished my degree before writing any of my papers to get me out of the lab as fast as possible, so I'm having to split my time as a SAHM and then write the last of my research papers at home when DS is having downtime and I can focus on the technical writing.
It's not really sadness or anxiety so much, though the pregnancy is definitely making me more teary than I'm used to. It's more like inertia once I'm down and having trouble keeping moving once I start to do something. I'll need to cook DS some lunch and I'll have been sitting on the floor with him and it'll take a good 10 minutes of convincing myself that "no, really, you have to get up and cook. No one is going to do it if you don't. If you just stand up, you'll be able to do it. Just stand up. stand up. stand up." because standing up once I've been still just seems gargantuan. I'll be painting house trim and I'll just put the brush down and not be able to do it anymore and I'll be stuck completely unable to finish any part of the task (cleaning the brush, closing the paint can) because it suddenly seems an impossible amount of work. I tried carrying old torn up cushions from the storage shed to the back of the pick-up truck to take to the dump and got halfway with one cushion and had to just sit down on the cushion and watch DS play in the backyard and I just couldn't bring myself to even finish taking that one cushion to the truck so it was still sitting in the middle of the yard when DH got home. There's been a pile of books sitting in the living room floor for a week because I just don't have the inspiration to move them 10 feet to the bookshelf. I just feel crippled, like part of me isn't working. Even loading the washer, putting soap in, and pushing the button is like "Man, I really don't know if I can manage all of that."
We go somewhere every day, but once we're there, it's a fight for me to pull myself together and load us back in the car to go home instead of just calling DH for help and just sitting there not moving. It almost feels like some kind of mineral deficiency, but my diet is good, way better than the average person, and I take prenatals and several other supplements (b12, iron, Mg, Ca, VitD) I took up when I was still bf during the pregnancy.

I'm pretty sure it's normal to feel a great deal of fatigue in early pregnancy. I was always really tired around week 7 until week week 15. I really feel for you! Are you napping when your toddler naps? Are you getting lots of sleep at night? I usually always woke up early to make breakfast for my husband before work, but when I'm in first trimester he makes his own breakfast and let me sleep in. Or you could try boxed cereal and easy breakfasts like that so that you can get more sleep.

Are you drinking lots of water? I would suggest to drink more water. Are you having trouble getting lots of protein? I could not eat much in early pregnancy either. But if you can, eat as much protein as humanly possible. It will give you energy. If you can't stomach protein foods try making bread or baked goods with a lot of milk and eggs in it to sneak more in. Try higher protein grain products like quinoa and oats. I couldn't eat meat or beans or dairy at all in the beginning of my pregnancies.

You should try to avoid all sugar and white flour because it will make you tired. Avoid any products with soy because it can impair your body's ability to digest protein. If you think you might have a mineral deficiency maybe try switching from regular salt to real sea salt? And try making bone broth it's full of minerals: https://wellnessmama.com/5888/how-to-make-bone-broth-tutorial/ I only do mine for 3-4 hours though, you don't have to simmer it for 24 hours like she says, lol.

For motivation, try giving yourself a routine to follow... maybe a certain hour of the day that you must always spend doing chores? And treat it like it's a job you have to be on time for?