TTC/Pregnancy while Breastfeeding and Tandem Nursing: Information and Support

[too_scared]

Thank you, Nikki

I'm at that stage now, the I have to be pregnant again now stage. I'm completly torn about what to do, I know it's probably best to wait until after the first af for lining thickness but my heart says try now.

 

[Lotus Womb]

Well ladies I had my first positive OPK on Saturday still positive yesterday so looks like I did ov. So officially in my 2 week wait. Not holding out too much hope on first cycle but plan to me very positive.

 

[Feronia]

too_scared, I happened to read this article yesterday that says that there's no need to wait after having a miscarriage: https://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20100805/study-no-need-delay-pregnancy-after-miscarriage It also says that if you get a BFP within 6 months, you're far more likely to have a positive outcome. So try again if you're up for trying!

 

[too_scared]

Sending you many many positive vibes lotus womb.

Thank you so much Feronia. Dh and I decided we are going to see what happens. I would love to get a bfp again before af. I guess time will tell.

 

[BunnyN]

My first pregnancy was a chemical pregnancy and I got pregnant on my next cycle, only two weeks later. A later loss has a much bigger impact on your body but it seems a lot of doctors now say you don't need to wait. It might be a good idea to consider using OPKs or temping if you are going to try again to help with dating the pregnancy.

 

[too_scared]

I would love to start temping again but I don't sleep long enough thanks to the kiddo. Haha! Opk's have never really worked for me, I don't get positives. Maybe I'll try them if things don't seem to be working out. Last time I just checked cp and cm.

 

[Feronia]

Best of luck to you, too_scared! I was actually able to get reasonably accurate temperatures while breastfeeding every few hours, bed-sharing, and I even walked to the bathroom to take them every morning. Vaginal temps are a bit more accurate if you can do them.

 

[too_scared]

Thanks

Generally in the morning he's waking me every hour and I'm lucky to get a few 2 hour stretches before then. I could try, though. I definitely rather temping over anything.

We bed share too. I don't think I could survive if we didn't! Haha!

 

[Nikki_d72]

Too-scared, I know that feeling so well! It's hellish, I'm so sorry.

I waited until after my 6 week check as there were some things I wanted to rule out with the OB first - did you get to see anyone and discuss any possible reasons? If you are getting some testing done it might be prudent to wait for the results, just in case there is anything there that could impact on another pregnancy but it's more than likely just an unfortunate one-off. I know that can be both frustrating as there is nothing to "fix" but also a relief that there is nothing wrong if it's the case. Most of my group got no reason given.

I know how agonising it is to wait though and there is some wisdom about being more fertile after a miscarriage but things are a bit different at 16 weeks and with you having a D&C maybe you should check with an OB before you go ahead and try again - I'm not sure if it alters things a bit or not.

I would also say that you could ask for the gender of your wee baby to be noted on your hospital notes, that way you could always ask for a copy later on if you suddenly get a strong desire to find out. It's so better to have information that may be available to you if you want it than to want it and it's not available, in my experience. Sometimes these things have a way of gnawing away at you and many people I know had awful regrets about not getting certain info/pictures etc and then changing their minds later. I know your situation is a little different but many of the emotions are the same. xxx

 

[too_scared]

I didn't talk to anyone about any possible reasons yet. I have a follow up appt on the 29th of August. The hospital was going to "dispose" of the "products" but the first doctor I talked to said that they would be able to test for possible reasons. I didn't get the same ob to do the d&c because he was off that week. When I asked the doctor who was going to do the procedure she said they didn't normally test. But, afterwards they said that they were going to be able to do an autopsy so hopefully we will get some answers.

I know in my head that I should probably wait until we get the results but I also feel in my heart that I don't think I can. There is no guarantee that we will get pregnant before then anyway.

With my son I had a mmc at 10 weeks (baby died at 7-8 weeks) and a chemical at 5 weeks. Then my son. He was a "text book" pregnancy. No issues or problems at all. I think everyone assumed that this pregnancy would be the same, especially since we saw the heartbeat at 8+4.

Ugh. I just don't know what to do.

About the gender thing. I keep going back and forth. I felt when I was pregnant that it was a girl. I want to know but I don't want to. I think I will get my doctor to check and write it down (if they have it in the notes) so I will have it for future should we decide we want to know.

Thank you for everything. I really appreciate it

 

[Nikki_d72]

Ugh, "products"! I hate that so much! Do they think it hurts less if they give it a horrible medical non-human name? Grrr, they can be so insensitive.

You do whatever feels right to you hun, there's nothing wrong with going with your heart at all, my situation was a bit different as my body kicked my babies out early and that was the only reason they died, which can and does recur so I needed to rule out as many things as possible before I tried again and in the end it took us 10 months anyway but I had age working against me which would have contributed to the length of time.

I hope you get another rainbow soon and I'm happy to chat to you any time, feel free to PM me if you have any random wonderings or just want to chat. Your next pregnancy will probably be a bit fraught, especially till you get past the gestation that you lost your wee baby at, but if you try to set small milestones for yourself to get to and then pass the time goes by. I bought a wee doppler too to use at home, which generally I'm not a fan of but kept the use of it short and it saved my sanity till I was getting lots of movements and even later if he was a bit quiet I brought it out. Big hugs to you xx

 

[sharnw]

Following this thread. I'm nearly 6 weeks pregnant and would like to keep nursing x

 

[BunnyN]

Following this thread. I'm nearly 6 weeks pregnant and would like to keep nursing x

Welcome sarnwa! I'm 18 weeks pregnant and still feeding my 15 month old girl. My milk supply had dropped a lot now and she feeds less often and for short amounts of time but she still likes to suck to sleep. I'm hoping I might get some supply back before the end of pregnancy. I have not found it particularly painful (only ocasionally when she catches me with her teeth or latches on funny but I am finding the 'nursing aversion' a challenge. Feeding makes me very fidgety and uncomfortable but hoping I'm suffering the worst of it at the moment. If we manage to carry on I'd love to tandem nurse.

 

[Mork]

Hey all, this is my second time in this thread - I successfully breastfed my first during my second pregnancy and tandem fed for 18 months after, and am now feeding my second whilst pregnant with my third. Just wanted to share for those of you worrying that it can be done. Xx

 

[Feronia]

Hi Mork, great to hear! My two will be 26 months apart, similarly to yours, and my daughter is 20 months right now. She's still nursing all the time even though I don't think I have any milk, but I really hope she continues so I can tandem nurse. Someone told me yesterday that she knew so many women who tried to tandem nurse and only one was able to, so that made me feel pretty bad at the chances for success... so I'm glad to hear you were able to do it!

 

[MommyJogger]

We're closing in on the end of my pregnancy. My milk dried up quite early and DS1 became pretty disinterested in nursing. We were at a stage for a long time where he would go several days without nursing and then nurse the next night for less than 30 seconds before rolling over and falling asleep or saying goodnight and going to his room to sleep. My colostrum came in between 35 and 37 weeks, fairly close to 36 I think, which is much later than average. He was all about nursing for a couple of days and then the next day declared it to be "yucky". We're back to a short session every 3-4 days now. I'm hoping that when my milk fully comes in, he won't be put off by the taste. I'm both disappointed and grateful that he cut back so much during the pregnancy-- my aversion was severe sometimes and I'm not sure how I would have dealt with it if he was still highly dependent on nursing for comfort. The aversion mostly went when my colostrum returned, but it's becoming more and more painful to nurse as I get closer to delivering. We'll see how it goes. Just wanted to pen down my experience so far in case it helps anyone anticipate or understand what nursing during pregnancy can entail.
I'm fairly sure the only reason he's still going at all is because I continued to offer at "common sense" times and remind him it was still available. So my advice to anyone starting out who really wants to make it through is to remember that "don't offer, don't refuse" is a gentle weaning method and that it could potentially be important to keep offering through the disinterest.

 

[canadabear]

Hi ladies. In another Tww right now.. DS turns 3 in 2 weeks and still loving bf... Really hope I can keep going until he chooses to stop. No cramping which I usually get a week before AF starts and had really bad last cycle during BF. Hope that's a good sign.

 

[BunnyN]

Thanks for the input mummyjogger and mork. I agree that offering is important for LO to continue nursing. She doesn't ask often anymore and when she does it's because she is sleepy and wants help getting to sleep, not because she wants milk. She still likes to suck for comfort but she is sensitive to the fact that it puts me on edge which puts her off a bit too. Can I ask when you aversion was at it's worst? I know everyone is different but I'm interested in others experiences. I have seen a lot about pain but it's harder to find information about aversion.

 

[MommyJogger]

Thanks for the input mummyjogger and mork. I agree that offering is important for LO to continue nursing. She doesn't ask often anymore and when she does it's because she is sleepy and wants help getting to sleep, not because she wants milk. She still likes to suck for comfort but she is sensitive to the fact that it puts me on edge which puts her off a bit too. Can I ask when you aversion was at it's worst? I know everyone is different but I'm interested in others experiences. I have seen a lot about pain but it's harder to find information about aversion.

Honestly, mine started at ~13 weeks and got progressively worse until I had colostrum, but it was tiny, tiny increments that it got worse by and varied based on how my day had gone; I wouldn't even say it was twice as bad by the end than it was at the beginning. It's very different for every woman. I think the most common experience I've heard is the aversion peaking around 24, easing off, and then coming back very close to delivery to completely disappear after the baby is born. There's a tandem nursing group on facebook that I found really helpful, as there are a ton more women in that group and they talk about and chronicalize their journeys as well as ask questions I wouldn't have thought of until I was in the muck of things. I never personally found a surefire coping mechanism, but ladies in the group talk about several that work for different women. Personally, the most effective one for me was counterpressure on the breast he was nursing on. I had to hold and squeeze the breast to help reduce the sensation of his nursing and then I had to really focus on the squeezing sensation. Some women find relief by zoning out into something else (their phones, reading a book, etc), but that always just made it worse for me. Some women like to increase nursing frequency and decrease duration (instead of letting the toddler continuously nurse, they'll count down by some arbitrary number they can handle, delatch, and then let them latch back on a few minutes later when they can handle it again).
Hugs and good luck! You can do it!

 

[too_scared]

I get bad aversion right before af but it wasn't too bad while I was pregnant. I usually just lay there and squirm internally and try so hard to take my mind off of it. My phone usually helps. I had a lot of pain while pregnant.

Canadabear, I hope af stays far away for you. CD 3 for me so I'm hoping I don't see the witch for a long time after this either.