TTC/Pregnancy while Breastfeeding and Tandem Nursing: Information and Support

[BunnyN]

A have had suffed some aversion before I got pregnant. It got a bit worse and more frequent from early pregnancy but I wasn't that concerned because I thought I was strong and knew how to cope with it. To be honest I had no idea how hard it was going to get. To begin with I managed to switch off from it by distracting myself and found being well rested and relaxed before starting nursing helped. At about 13 weeks maybe I started finding the evening feed hard but it was still mostly okay during the day. Not long after I stopped night feeds which LO accepted well. She still wakes in the night but it's mostly her dad who gets up with her now. At about 16 weeks the aversion started getting a lot worse and my milk supply dropped a lot. Soon every feed felt like torture. It was all I could do not to scream and throw her off me! We were away from home for a few days which got us out of routine and disrupted normal feeding times. She had already cut down drastically on amount and length of feeds but I suddenly realized she was going to wean altogether within a short time if I didn't make more effort. While I admit that to part of me the idea of weaning had it's apeal I didn't feel I wanted it to end like that. I was feeling tired overstretched, distracted and irritable and wanted to give the tandem nursing thing a better chance of success. So I have made an effort to rest more and do what I can to make it work.

The aversion seems to have improved a little over the last week, or maybe I'm just coping a bit better. I've put a lot of rules in place like where she is alowed to have her hands and she can't wiggle, she has to be latched on propperly even if it takes loads of trys and I hold her head firmly in place with my hand and my boob with the other. She hated it to start with as she has always been a wiggly feeder even as a newborn. Often she would stop and refuse to feed as she was getting so fustrated but she is finally accepting 'the rules' now which helps.

I find distraction a good way of making it bearable but I'm struggling to work out what now as feeding her takes up both hands so my phone or a book don't really work. Tv is good but the sound distracts her. It used to work with earphones but without a free hand they tend to get in a tangle and I give up.

 

[MommyJogger]

omg, yes, the hands! I'd completely forgotten that aspect because it's been so long since the rule was put in place. I had to teach mine to keep his hands down and not fiddle with any part of me while nursing. It felt so mean to do, but I couldn't handle also being touched while nursing. I'm pretty convinced that had he not caught on fairly quickly and understood the importance of it to me, we wouldn't be nursing anymore at all. It can get almost violently intense if they wiggle or fiddle around. I have no idea why. But it was alarming.

 

[BunnyN]

Glad I'm not the only one. I felt really mean to make rules about her hands too. I'm okay with her squeezing at the base of my breast or around my waist but they have to stay way away from my nipples and pretty much anywhere else including my face.

Violently intense is a good description. It gets that way sometimes even without he touching anyway especially when I'm over tired. I tried to tollerate her touching to start with but I found myself snapping at her so realised we needed rules for both our sakes . Snapping at her usually ends up with us both crying but I'm managing to just about stay in control between the no touch, no wiggle rules and by resting enough before feeding.

 

[Cangaroo]

Ugh, my 3 year old developed a habit of scratching a mole I have on my arm, and made it scab over at one point! I covered it and was very strict after that. She also liked putting her finger in my belly button, which I HATE! She's stopped that too, after me being very firm. Come to think of it, I'm sure she only started doing both those things after I got pregnant. Strange! I'm lucky in that I never had any real aversion (so far...), but I did have pain. It's a lot better now than it was. I have a lot less milk now (though there definitely is still some and I'm pretty sure it's not yet colostrum) and she drinks loads if cow's milk to make up for it. I'm pleased we're still nursing. In fact, I'm lying next to her in her bed having just nursed her to sleep.

 

[Mork]

Thanks for the input mummyjogger and mork. I agree that offering is important for LO to continue nursing. She doesn't ask often anymore and when she does it's because she is sleepy and wants help getting to sleep, not because she wants milk. She still likes to suck for comfort but she is sensitive to the fact that it puts me on edge which puts her off a bit too. Can I ask when you aversion was at it's worst? I know everyone is different but I'm interested in others experiences. I have seen a lot about pain but it's harder to find information about aversion.

Interestingly, I suffered a lot more with aversion and pain when nursing in my last pregnancy - very badly in the first tri and then once my second was born for may be the first three months. However, my second child does tell me that he doesn't like it and asks for the other breast. I have had some aversion in the early days and am getting some tenderness now at 17/18 weeks. Therefore for me, each pregnancy has been different xx

 

[BunnyN]

Good to know it's not always the same with a different pregnancy. I couldn't wait to get pregnant again this time but we'd like one more and I was already thinking I might not want to space the next one so close so that I'd feel weaning was more of an option. I really want to fight through this if possible but I'm not sure I'd choose to go through it again, lol.

Lo went through a phase of pinching me on the arm. I think that one was before I got pregnant but could have been related to a decreased supply because of my cycles coming back. Due to what turned out to be allergies she had seriouse problems with her weight until about 7 months so I pretty much let her get away with anything to get her to feed as much as possible. Next time around I think I might try more to have some boundaries and good latching habits from the start.

 

[babyjo]

Hey ladies

my LO has refused to bf for 5 days now!!!!!! I think he has self weaned! He has been a complete boobie monster so this is very out of character!

I've had awful aversion to bf since I was about 8 weeks pregnant so not sure if he could sense it or if he doesn't like the taste of colostrum or it's because my milk has all gone. I'm not engorged at all which is also a surprise.

He seems to have replaced bf with just cuddles.

I've got mixed feelings now.

My hope to be able to tandem feed looks like it's not going to happen.

 

[BunnyN]

Aw sorry babyjo. And congratulations too . I know what you mean about mixed feelings LO came close to self weaning a couple of weeks ago and I couldn't decide if I was delighted or heartbroken. As it turns out she has picked up a bit again now. It seems lots of babies do self wean. Some only BF every few days and some stop completely and start again. I'm reading the book the adventures of tandem nursing at the moment and it says to decide ahead of time how to respond if your toddler asks to start again after having weaned.

 

[EarthMama]

My tandem journey has started and my milk supply is insane. I have letdowns every few minutes whether nursing or not and my boobs always feel rock solid and spray milk everywhere. Pretty intense and I'm worried baby is not getting enough hindmilk. I have the toddler nurse first but still engorged. She's 6 days old and her poop is brown, not mustard color.

 

[BunnyN]

Nice to hear from another mother who is making a success of it. I'm sure your supply will settle soon. Do you notice a big difference from last time? With LO I never felt letdown and my supply started quite gradually, I never had engorgement. I'm curious if it will be different from last time.

 

[EarthMama]

There seems to be a big difference from last time. I never got engorged like this before. My letdowns are also A LOT more painful this time. They really sting! And they happen constantly...if I even think about a let down it happens...just happened as I was writing this when both baby and toddler are napping!

 

[BunnyN]

I never really felt let down so wondering if it will be different this time.

 

[Nikki_d72]

Hi ladies, it's great to hear from those of you who are successfully tandem feeding and the BF when pregnant journey too. It's interesting how different your experiences can be with different pregnancies.

As for me, just getting pregnant would do me for now lol, I got the screamingest positive OPK ever today and for the 4th month in a row DH is working away from home at OV, gutted. My milk supply tanks about 5 or 6 DPO every single month now and stays that way until about CD2 or 3, poor DS get really peeved, so I've no doubt I'd not be able to feed for long when pregnant, so maybe it's meant to be that we've failed up till now. DS is 19 months now and still teething a wee bit so really still relies on milk to get him to sleep.

No point to this post really, just thought I'd come say hi

 

[misspriss]

Ladies I just wanted to update as well, DH and I are actively TTC now. I'm a little scared about losing my milk supply if I do become pregnant. I'm really torn. It's super important to me to BF DS until 2 years (he is 18 months next month) but when I had my MC in June my milk supply really dropped and hasn't be the same since, it's kind of waning as it is.

DS is going to be 18 months soon, I may introduce an alternative drink during the day to make the frozen milk last longer, like he gets one cup of EBM per day, and coconut milk at his other times? (We don't do cow milk). I'll think about it.

 

[BunnyN]

Misspriss, congrats on TTC. It's hard to know what to do when you really want to have another but not have to stop BFing your other. I really want to make it to two with LO as well. I have very little milk, but it didn't drop a lot for me until about 16 weeks. LO continues to feed but only two or three times a day and often for less than 5mins. I'm hoping it will be enough to keep her going until I get milk again. I'll be 35 soon and we would still like another so I didn't want to wait any longer so I didn't feel like I could aford a bigger gap.

 

[misspriss]

Well, when I had my early loss, at 4+2, my milk had already been down for a week. It took weeks to recover after as well and hasn't been the same since.

That being said, since it hasn't been the same since, I wonder if I will suffer such a loss again, or perhaps the damage has already been done and it will just be the same. Or on the other other hand, perhaps LO is nursing less and this is just naturally losing some. He doesn't nurse nearly as much when I come home from work, and usually not again until bedtime. He does nurse a lot at night, but not usually for as long as he used to. Perhaps he is just getting older and nursing less? He doesn't really drink much else though, just a little water with meals. He does eat a lot of fruit though, maybe he gets more liquid from his diet..

 

[BunnyN]

It does seem likely he has cut back some. LO has cut back more recently because of low supply etc but she was starting to cut back already before I got pregnant, she was only a year old then.

 

[misspriss]

But he isn't really taking in much else, he only drinks a couple ounces of water at a time and gets EBM when I'm out, no other liquids! Plenty of wet diapers though. That's why I was thinking of adding an alternative like a coconut milk drink or something. Or maybe I should wait until I have a BFP in my hand first before I go changing anything!

I just have two and a half freezer bags full of little baggies of milk in the freezer, that won't last too long maybe a couple months.

 

[too_scared]

My little guy wouldn't drink much of anything until just recently. I think it was a matter of finding the right cup/bottle. We tried lots but it turns out he likes an aluminum bottle with a straw top best. He drinks about 8 oz of water a day now, on top of bm.

I hope you figure it out soon.

 

[misspriss]

He drinks from a straw sippy, a silicone spout sippy, and an open cup. With the sippies, he drinks and drinks and drinks...and then you look in the cup and hardly any is missing!