TTCAL waiting (not so patiently) for our rainbows

[babytots]

Hi ladies wasn't expecting to be posting in here but well here I am. I'm no stranger to baby loss having had 3 losses in the past and now I have said goodbye to a 4th angel.

I was just wondering if you all decided to try again straightaway or waited a while? I want to ttc as it will give me something positive to focus on but I fear that history will repeat itself (my 2nd miscarriage happened right after my 1st). I'm worried that my body won't be ready for another pregnancy but on the other hand I know ttc again is the only thing that will help ease this pain and take my mind off what's happened.

I'm not even sure if my DH will want to ttc again I daren't bring the subject up with him as I know he is hurting too.

Anyways sorry for waffling x

 

[MommytoLBG]

So sorry about your recent loss...and also your other angels

I have 3 beautiful sunshines, 4th pregnancy ended in mmc June. I had always wanted 4...but life happens sometimes and time flew. My little guy was getting closer to 3 and we were trying to decide whether or not to have the 4th or have my hubbie get a V. Well, in May...I was late. I am never late. So took a test and surprise!!! Decision made for us. We were so happy. Then 4 weeks later (9w2d), no hb and baby stopped growing at 6w4d. We were devasted. D&C on my 38th birthday. I was a mess and the only thing that got me thru was my 3 children. I am already blessed with 3, so where does that leave me? I was torn. But after the initial shock and pain, I was again wanting to try. Our dr told us to wait one cycle. AF arrived 22 days after D&C, exactly when it would have been due if I had never been pregnant. But we decided to wait, only to then decide to ntnp. Well AF came Sunday.

I am terrified to get pregnant again...but I want one more little blessing. Its hard because we had 3 healthy pregnancies, were able to conceive easily with them, so what happened? Like with most mcs, there isn't an answer. We were told it was due to subchorionic hemm too large too early based on the first u/s. So we were encouraged to ttc again. This month we will be trying harder. Temping and opks.

So to answer your question...we (technically) waited 2 cycles. IF we conceive this next one (hoping we do)...lots of women conceive soon after and have no problems, others wait a few cycles for many reasons. Hopefully you get some answers from others on here. I have very little experience...

 

[Kyliem87]

Sorry to hear of your losses hun

We've tried again straight away every time. The first time we had a loss in April 2011 and fell pregnant June 2011 with our now 2.5 year old cheeky little lady!

We then had a loss in January 2014 and although we tried straight away it took us til July's cycle to fall pregnant again. Unfortunately that has also ended in a miscarriage and we had surgery on Tuesday. We are being referred for testing but we will also be trying straight away again and wasting no time. Last time AF arrived 38 days later and I'm praying for the same again and keeping my fingers crossed!

Good luck and fingers crossed hun

 

[NorthStar]

We tried again straight away after our loss in April, and conceived on the first proper cycle after MC, only to have another loss at 9 weeks in July

So in effect having 2 losses in the space of 3 months, it's been horrible, and I've felt pretty depressed and even gained weight with the emotional rollercoaster. We have no kids so there is no comfort in existing family.

With the benefit of hindsight, I'd have waited for a few months to get back on an even keel emotionally. Of course if the second one had worked out I wouldn't be saying that, it'd be the best thing ever Now we're going for RPL testing so TTA for now.

I think you need to do what feels right for you. Wine feels right for me right now

 

[Sunshine14]

Sorry for your losses ladies xx there is nothing positive about miscarriages (except the fact you are getting pregnant!) they really, really suck and seem like a precious waste of time as well! I agree with you Northstar wine is my friend at the moment lol and am back on the coffee and feel guilty cos I know the wine and coffee habit is probably damaging what few eggs I have left!! I am blessed with 3 amazing little ones and have been trying for number 4 since last May -- since Xmas I have had 3 chemicals one after the other and then in June I got pregnant again but it turned into a mmc at 9 weeks and sorry for TMI! but I just passed the sac last Thursday yikes! V confused at the moment -- really want my rainbow baba but terrified am going to get pregnant agan and have another mc -- this last one I didn't even allow myself to get excited I was waiting to hear the hb was all good but never got that confirmation. Miscarriages suck ........

 

[babytots]

Thank you all for you replies and I'm so sorry that you all have suffered the loss of a baby

I've decided that all being well we will ttc but not rush it. DH seems to be on the same wavelength as me (in that he would like another baby but scared of losing another) so I guess we shall see how things go.

Although there has been a spanner thrown into the works as I found out I had antibodies in my blood (from when I had my youngest) and these antibodies depending on which type can affect any future pregnancies (usually in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters). I'm seeing my doctor to discuss it further as the epu nurse was so vague about it all. Hopefully its nothing to worry about. x

 

[Sunshine14]

Hi babytots sorry to hear that you have antibodies in your blood following your youngest - good news though that they found it as fingers crossed it will be something that can be treated when you do get pregnant again and hopefully wont cause any problems!

I'm waiting for my scan on Thursday to give the all clear that everything is gone and then we will start trying again - well at least be not preventing ..... the doc said my miscarriage was likely trisomy and just one of those things so will see what happens really ......

 

[babytots]

Thank sunshine. I've been reading up and most of the antibodies can be treated during pregnancy but there one that isn't. I'm hoping I don't fall under the latter.

Good luck with your scan hope you get the all clear. We are probably going to go down the same route and not prevent but not put pressure on ourselves to actively ttc. I had a positive opk last night but think its picking up on pregnancy hormones as a hpt was postive today too. Yet another reminder

You'll have to let me know how you get on tomorrow. x

 

[Sunshine14]

Hey Babytots when will you know about the antibodies? Do you have an appointment lined up to check into what they are and the cause? Fingers xd its not the one that can't be treated xx

I had an interesting appointment at the scan - mc all cleared thank goodness and I had a really sweet senior nurse who I ended up chatting to and she was very helpful. She showed me the empty uterus and then said she could see a follicle developing on the right side (I thought I was annovulatory after my previous cp's and so I assumed I would be after the mmc!) and I was asking her whether we could dtd now and she said yes but would recommend waiting til after first AF for ttc. All pretty basic stuff but I asked her why not try straight away and she said lining probably wouldn't be strong enough for implantation because body needed time to recover. She also said sperm lives for 7 days in the body and I said I thought it was less time and she said no latest evidence is 7 days!!!! I then asked her whether there was any truth to the fact that you are more fertile after a mc and she said no evidence but she herself has seen loads of women get pregnant straight after a mc -- really interesting info! So now I'm torn - I'm thinking I want to capitalise on any extra fertility after mc but don't want to end up with another mc cos lining is not good enough!! It's our 11 year anniversary tomorrow so may well be a mute point as we will probably just get on with it and see what happens eek! How about you where is your head at about ttc again hun?

 

[babytots]

Hi Sunshine so pleased to hear the scan went well. Its hard to know what to do for the best isn't it wait or just crack on with ttc and hope for the best.

I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow with regards to the antibodies and I'm hoping she will be able to tell me what I am dealing with.

In terms of ttc I want to try straightaway but I'm afraid of history repeating itself (my first miscarriage I fell pregnant straightaway but then had a missed miscarriage). So that puts me off but I have 3 friends all due the month I was and I so badly want to be pregnant again so I can stop avoiding them

I think this month we will not try but not prevent and see what happens. x

 

[Sunshine14]

Good luck with tomorrow babytots hope it goes well x let me know how it goes : )

 

[kategirl]

We started trying immediately after both my CPs. The first one just wasn't a good month to try (my DH ended up getting the stomach flu followed by the regular flu) and this second time I did get a BFP immediately after. Now I'm kind of in this weird unknown where I think it's a new pregnancy but it could be a reaction to the CP. I sort of wish we had waited the one cycle to be sure, but on the other hand, this might be our rainbow!

 

[Sunshine14]

We started trying immediately after both my CPs. The first one just wasn't a good month to try (my DH ended up getting the stomach flu followed by the regular flu) and this second time I did get a BFP immediately after. Now I'm kind of in this weird unknown where I think it's a new pregnancy but it could be a reaction to the CP. I sort of wish we had waited the one cycle to be sure, but on the other hand, this might be our rainbow!

Goodluck kategirl hope this is ur sticky bean rainbow baba xxx

 

[babytots]

Fingers crossed this is your sticky bean Kategirl.

Thanks Sunshine unfortunately no further news. Went to my doctors and they wasn't showing up on her system. Worst still she hadn't recieved the letter from the epu to let her know I had lost the baby and of course the doctor tried to force contraception on me and when I refused she said to just let my body rest. I really can't though its killing me enough having lost or baby never mind waiting. Given that my cycles are long it makes the wait even worse iykwim. Anyways she told me to chase the epu and see if they had the results so I phoned them and they didn't have them. I then got put through to the antenatal clinic to see if they could locate them. The midwife I spoke to said that the bloods had been sent to another hospital but that they should of been back. I have to ring next week for an update. So still hanging in limboland.

On a positive note though I think I may be gearing up to ovulate as had fertile signs. Need to do another hpt to see if its negative yet (did one a few days ago as I got a positive opk and the hpt had a very faint line so I'm hoping the hcg has dropped back to zero).

How are you getting on hun? x

 

[Kiwiberry]

I have not had my first baby yet but I plan to wait at least 6-9 months. I was reading online (I know its the internet lol) that if you fall pregnant under the 6 month mark of delivering your last baby that you have a higher risk of miscarriage.

I will also be breastfeeding, so I want to give that some time.

 

[babytots]

I have not had my first baby yet but I plan to wait at least 6-9 months. I was reading online (I know its the internet lol) that if you fall pregnant under the 6 month mark of delivering your last baby that you have a higher risk of miscarriage.

I will also be breastfeeding, so I want to give that some time.

Can I ask what this has to do with trying again after a loss? It seems you are giving me an answer for trying again after having a baby which is completely irrelevant to what I have posted.

Sunshine I finally got my results and I now know what antibodies I have. As soon as I get my bfp I'll be asking to be reffered for consultant led care when I see the midwife. This next baby is going to be well looked after thats for sure.

How are you doing? x

 

[MommytoLBG]

That's great news babytots. I assume that it's the treatable antibody based on what you wrote?

It sounds like you are real close to having the hcg out of your system if you are only get a very faint line. Getting closer to baby!

 

[Kiwiberry]

I have not had my first baby yet but I plan to wait at least 6-9 months. I was reading online (I know its the internet lol) that if you fall pregnant under the 6 month mark of delivering your last baby that you have a higher risk of miscarriage.

I will also be breastfeeding, so I want to give that some time.

Can I ask what this has to do with trying again after a loss? It seems you are giving me an answer for trying again after having a baby which is completely irrelevant to what I have posted.

Sunshine I finally got my results and I now know what antibodies I have. As soon as I get my bfp I'll be asking to be reffered for consultant led care when I see the midwife. This next baby is going to be well looked after thats for sure.

How are you doing? x

Sorry, I did not read your whole post I was in a hurry, I just assumed based on the title my bad.

 

[BaybeeMama]

Hi, we lost our son at 29 weeks at the beginning of June and I think I might be pregnant already. We decided after July that we'd start trying again but didn't think it would happen again this quickly. I was supposed to get my AF yesterday but I haven't had anything yet. I am never late so I think I might be prego

 

[babytots]

That's great news babytots. I assume that it's the treatable antibody based on what you wrote?

It sounds like you are real close to having the hcg out of your system if you are only get a very faint line. Getting closer to baby!

Thanks no not treatable as such but can be managed with regular blood tests and scans. At best it will cause jaundice at worst it can cause the baby to become anaemic in the womb resulting in blood transfusions or early delivery. I'm hoping my doctor can refer me to a consultant so I can discuss it all properly.

Really hope the hcg has left my body now. Just want to get back to normal and seeing a positive test each time is a kick in the teeth x