Thanks guys, it all went smoothly. My throat is all scratchy and has phlegm from the tube. They gave me some antianxiety meds before hand and everyone was extremely nice. I'm thankful I had a great team of doctors and nurses with me who understood my fears. I cried when I woke up because I was just so happy nothing bad happened.
Potential tw?
I expected to feel sad but I almost feel a sense of closure, it's like my body and mind can finally relax and I dont have to constantly think about my poor babies just being inside my body. I love them and I always will but I know I will be fine and I have my amazing family to love and take care of me as I take my time to grieve.
I think this is about it for me here in this thread as I take the next two months to navigate my feelings and we decide if we still want to keep trying for our last child. My husband says he still wants to try but I think I need at least two months to process all my feelings and decide where I am with everything.