Unexpected and freaking out

[Rags]

Well I'm 28 weeks pregnant now and feel like I'm actually looking pregnant now compared to just fat.

Hi, have you had a read through any of the threads in the 'single parents' forum? I know your partner is still in the picture, but as he's being so hands off it might be nice to see how others have tackled parenthood with less support? Many of the women have been in relationships that have broken down or where they have been 'left to it', some of the threads are from women who decided to become parents without having a partner at all. It's not the most active forum at the moment but there are lots of older threads to look through.

 

[Kiwiberry]

How are things going hun?

 

[Isla04]

Sorry for the late update/reply. I'm doing ok I guess. The baby's due in exactly a month. I feel huge and so uncomfortable. I want it to be over but I'm also so scared of the moment I go into labor. I'm not happy about covid but I am happy that it gives me an excuse to not have to go anywhere or be seen by anyone. I mean my friends and family all know that I'm pregnant but it's less awkward not having to go to school in person and stuff.

It's going to be really hard when the baby gets here next month and school starts again. My bf and I are both doing all of our classes online and the baby won't be going to daycare or anything so we're going to be trying to take care of the baby and do our schoolwork. His mom is working from home full time and my mom is working from home part of the time so theyare going to help too. I'm really stressed about how it's all going to work out and just hoping he'll pull his weight with taking care of the baby because I already feel overwhelmed by everything.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I hope everything goes well

 

[Rags]

It's so good to hear from you again, gosh, only a month, how mad is that!!
Please, please know that feeling huge and overwhelmed and scared of labour and not knowing how you'll manage everything, all of it, it's really normal no matter what your age or how planned your pregnancy was or how prepared you thought you were to start a family. Your little family will be what you decide to make it like. Your families will love having a new baby about and you will learn to juggle better than you ever thought was possible - and if it doesn't feel like that for the first while then that's normal too.
I hope you manage a nice Christmas and when you find you have some time to do something other than catching up with sleep, let us know how you're getting in. Xx

 

[Tropiclands]

Hello. I'm sorry that your boyfriend isn't being supportive. As others have suggested, you need to find others who are willing to listen and understand your situation.

 

[Kiwiberry]

How are things going? Wondering if your little peanut has made an entrance yet . If so, how did the delivery go? Hope you're enjoying all those lovely newborn snuggles.

 

[daneuse27]

Hey, I just found this thread. Isla, you should so brave. I couldn't imagine going through what you're going through now at your age. You have handled this with so much maturity and strength. I admire you.

I hope that your boyfriend, his parents and your parents are all going to support you.

By now your little bean must be born. I hope that all went well with the delivery and the early days. The early days can be tough but you will reminisce on them one day.

Sending hugs!

 

[Isla04]

Hi again everyone. My daughter was born January 11. I named her Amelia Charlene (Charlene is a family name). She is perfect and healthy. Delivery was really rough and I think I was more scared to have to go into the hospital during covid. Everyone had to wear masks the whole time and I could only have 1 person go in with me and stay with me the whole time. I chose my mom to be with me. Of course this made my bf upset even though he understood but it’s still weird not being there when your own child is born and not even being able to see the baby in person for over 2 days. I get guilty about it and still do but I was so scared something bad might happen and if so I wanted my mom there. But my family and my bf’s family came to the hospital to say hi through the window even though I was several stories up but we could still see each other so that was sweet.

Anyway, we’re home now and just trying to get through each day. Both me and my bf will be doing school from home for the rest of the year due to covid. He comes over here during the school day’s and we take turns taking care of the baby while the other one does school work. My parents don’t want him spending the night, but not like we’d be doing anything anyway. I barely sleep at night at this point anyway. I feel filled with anxiety all the time and can’t relax. I’m always just waiting for the next time she cries at night. She doesn’t sleep for any amount of time at all. I’m a night owl too soo she probably gets it from me lol. I know it will eventually get better but right now I just feel so tired all the time.

And I was going to type more but she is fussing again now but I’m getting used to constantly being interrupted when she needs something. I know that’s just part of it and she’s my #1 responsibility now

 

[Bevziibubble]

Congratulations!
It is totally normal to be filled with anxiety. I still remember the anxiety and fear I felt about the crying and not knowing what to do, when the baby would stop and if I was doing everything right. It's a scary time but you are doing great. The anxiety does ease over time but the newborn stage is such a big adjustment. This too shall pass

I love her name

 

[Rags]

Huge congratulations, I'm so delighted she's here. YOU DID IT - how fantastic is that, don't ever underestimate what you achieved, you are fantastic and she is here because of how strong you, her mother, are (you can correct my poor grammar for an English assignment lol)
Please try to let the guilt over the birth slide away, only a couple of generations ago the father would never have been allowed in for the birth anyway, and there's research being done showing that a difficult labour can actually lead to anxiety and PTSD in partners who witness it (it seems to be because they are seeing two people they care about suffering and their instincts are telling them they should be doing something but they don't know what and they can't leave without feeling they've let the woman down) you may well have done him a favour and protected him and his future relationship with you and his daughter.
Take good care of yourself now too, rest when you can and say yes when family offer to do things for you, anything that let's you sit and enjoy a cuddle (or a sleep). Eat well, drink plenty and keep taking vitamins to get your body back to full strength, all of this will help you with your anxiety and get you hormones settled down into a normal pattern again (don't forget that's part of why you're anxious too, the first while is like being on you pmt week all the time!!). Don't judge yourself harshly as a parent, you are the mother she knows, so try not to compare yourself to others (although if you see them doing something you like pinch the idea)
Good luck - YOU CAN DO THIS.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

2 of our 4 kiddos, DH wasn't in the room. It doesn't change how he feels about them.

 

[tdog]

Oh yey I remember it well being 17 when had my daughter I was so anxious so overwhelmed and she was a night owl aswell, I wasn't I loved my sleep but had to adjust to her, the newborn part is hard especially when your first as you don't no what your doing, I mean they don't come with a manual but a huge congratulations what a gorgeous name xxx

 

[Teanna]

Congrats, I love her name BTW. It gets better but the first few months are hard, just get sleep when you can and let people help if they offer. Covid times are tough, don't feel guilty choosing your mother. She was likely more able to help having already gone through childbirth. You need who will be a bigger comfort and it sounds like you made the best choice for you.